Just a short one… I'd say there's one, maybe two chapters left.

Do you guys want an Epilogue at the end?

Let me know

Disclaimer: I own nothing

Clarke felt numb and she liked it. There was no pain here. Physical or otherwise. She looked around but it was just a dense fog, a cloudy mass in her mind, and she waded through it searching for something.

It was thick and never ending. Occasionally the cloud would part long enough for her to see ahead but still there was nothing there. Was this her mind? And empty space?

There was nothing.

"Clarke"

She spun round and gasped. Her dad was standing there smiling at her. Clarke shook her head and took a step back.

"You're not real" She swallowed the lump in her throat, "You're dead"

"True" He nodded and opened his arms as if looking for a hug, "But that doesn't mean I'm not real"

She smiled and threw herself in his arms. They tightened around her and Clarke sighed into the embrace enjoy the comfort it brought her.

"Why are you here?" She mumbled into his chest.

Jake leant down and kissed the top of her head, "Because you need me kiddo"

Clarke pulled back and looked up at him, "Are you really here?"

"If you need me here then yes… Yes I'm really here"

Clarke stepped away from him and looked around.

"Where is here?"

Jake shrugged and turned his head around as well, "Wherever you want here to be"

Clarke sighed and shrugged. She couldn't remember anything or why they were here in the first place let alone where she wanted to be…

"Clarke"

She looked up and watched as Abby came and stood by her dad, both of them smiling, and held out a hand to grasp Clarke's cheek, "You're alive"

Clarke frowned and looked between them both, "I don't understand… If you're here, are you dead too?"

"Not necessarily. I'm here if you want me here"

"So dad said…" Clarke stepped away from them both with eyes narrowed in confusion before remembering something and looking to her mum in panic, "Lexa… Is she alive?"

Abby just carried on smiling and nodded to something over Clarke's shoulder, "Why don't you ask her yourself?"

Clarke spun around and laughter in exasperation. There stood Lexa with her hands joined in front of her, hair falling in braids, no war paint and thick leather. A large smile was across her face. She looked more peaceful than Clarke had ever seen her.

She darted forward and forced herself into the girl's arms. Lexa pulled her into a tight embrace and she pushed her head into the girl's neck breathing her in and taking reassurance in that. Lexa tightened her arms and Clarke pulled her closer.

"You're alive" She breathed.

"So are you" Lexa pointed out earning a light push from Clarke but she laughed anyway.

Clarke smiled up at her. Lexa placed her palm against Clarke's cheek and she leant into the touch closing her eyes.

She opened her eyes after a moment and looked around to see both her parents watching them with love in their eyes. Clarke felt a burst of happiness in her chest and smiled between all of them together.

"Can we stay here forever?"

Lexa lowered her hand to Clarke's back reassuringly whilst Abby gave her a sympathetic look.

"I don't think that's how it works kiddo" Jake smiled at her weakly.

"But you're all here and you might not be when I go back" Clarke looked to Lexa, "You might be dead"

"I might be… but what if I'm not?"

Abby nodded, "You want to put Lexa through that? Me through that?"

"Remember what you said to Jaha" Jake finished.

Clarke nodded, understanding, and stepped away from Lexa. She looked at them, "You're not real"

She smiled, turned around and, taking a deep breath, closed her eyes.

XoXoXoX

Clarke blinked through the haze and heard distance voices talking.

"…waking up…"

"…get Abby…"

"Raven…"

She opened her eyes to see Octavia staring down at her. She frowned and the other girl stepped away with a blank expression.

"Raven's gone to get Abby. Just stay still until then"

Clarke blinked and looked around slowly. They were back at the Ark in the medical bay, it looked empty aside from her.

"What happened?"

"Not sure. I just found you next to Jaha's body and Bell-"

Octavia cut off with wide eyes and bit her tongue. Her eyes welled up slightly before she pressed against them, refusing to cry, and smiled down at the girl, "Well I got you out of there anyway"

Clarke didn't get the chance to reply because suddenly Abby was there checking her vitals and Raven was at Octavia's side watching them. Her mum wouldn't meet her eyes and there was a sadness sitting in the other two girl's.

"How long?"

"A few weeks" Octavia spoke, "We got you back here quickly when we realised you weren't going to wake up anytime soon back at the mansion"

Clarke nodded and looked to Abby who smiled and rubbed her head soothingly, "You had a bad concussion and a broken ankle so don't be surprised if you struggle to walk over the next few weeks but apart from that you're just tired"

She thanked her mum and all three of them sat down with the promise of now answering her questions. Clarke sighed and sat up straighter at the pillow looking between the three pairs of eyes watching her.

"What happened after the explosion?"

"It was hectic" Abby answered, "The blast blew all of the levels out and we had no idea where any of you were but we couldn't afford to look for you because so many people were injured on the surface. Marcus was caught in the blast and died before I could reach him… Raven and Wick were trapped in the bunker for hours before we got them out but Wick had been crushed by the rubble… He didn't make it either"

Clarke nodded and looked to Raven who was watching Clarke intently, "Are you okay?"

The mechanic nodded, "I'm fine. I was shocked at first I guess"

Clarke smiled and then looked back to Abby, "After that?"

"Octavia and Echo appeared dragging Lexa behind them…"

Silence fell amongst them and Clarke felt a tear escape. She looked at her pleadingly, "Please tell me…"

"She's alive Clarke"

"But?"

Abby and Octavia shared a look, "She left"

Clarke's eyes widened and more tears fell, "What?" She spluttered out.

"You were taking a long time to wake up, if at all, and the clans were demanding her presence in Polis. She didn't want to leave but after a while she didn't have a choice"

Clarke looked down at her hands and sniffed, "Is she coming back?"

"We don't know… Echo went with her"

Her eyes widened, "Echo… Is she-?"

"Devastated?" Octavia nodded, "She didn't speak until Lexa said she was leaving and even then all she said is that she was going with her"

Clarke nodded and continued looking down as more gentle tears fell.

Abby sighed and leant forward to place her hand on Clarke's, "Clarke-"

She pulled away from her mum's touch and took a deep breath, brushing the tears away, and sending them all weak smiles, "I'd like to be alone"

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah Clarke, I mean you just woke up" Raven pointed out.

"Leave me alone" She whispered.

"Clarke-" Abby protested.

"Leave me alone!"

They filed out of the room as she pressed herself back under the covers and succumbing to sleep.

XoXoXoX

Abby spent her time flittering between small emergencies and Clarke's bedside. Every time she visited the girl was asleep though she suspected half the time it was being faked. She knew Clarke didn't want to see anyone but she had to make sure her daughter was eating; She wasn't and it was worrying Abby. She just prayed that Lexa returned soon.

The truth was they didn't know if she would return. Lexa had been so unlike herself before she left and Abby was fearful that she wouldn't return just down to the fear of what she would find when she did. Echo was a completely different story.

Abby sighed and sat herself next to Clarke's bedside. She only needed to look at her breathing to know she was awake.

"I know you're awake Clarke"

No response.

She sighed again and continued, "I just want you to know that whenever you're ready we'll all be here for you but you do need to eat some I'm going to leave the food here and I just pray that when I come back it's gone. I'm not asking you to get up and walk about but please Clarke… Just eat?"

She left the food and stayed for another half hour before accepting that Clarke wasn't going to speak and left the room.

Abby returned that evening before turning in for the night and found an empty tray.

XoXoXoX

They carried on like that. Abby would sit down and talk to her daughter about the day to day running of the camp now. She would fill her in on the most recent hunting trip or what a visit to the mountain had brought back. Then she would bring food and return later that night to find the food gone.

But still Clarke didn't speak.

XoXoXoX

Nothing changed for weeks.

Octavia had developed a coping method. She would train until exhausted then return to Raven every night after dinner. Some nights they would just hug and then fall asleep straight away but other nights, when she was feeling particularly raw, she would cry herself to sleep wrapped in Raven's arms.

Some days Octavia would wake up numb and go through her routine.

Some days she would wake up thinking that she was starting to move on…

Then she would wake up with so much sadness in her heart that there was nothing she wanted to do. On those days Raven would kiss her and let her lie there for the whole day.

But there was the occasional day when she awoke to find her chest burning with hatred. So much hatred for everyone, sometimes even Raven, and she hated it. She hated hating everyone.

She hated Abby for not being able to save him, hated Lexa and Echo for leaving, hated Raven for understanding and especially hated Clarke… Clarke who was there, Clarke who could have done something, Clarke who even now was hiding away from all the pain that Octavia herself couldn't run from…

And Bellamy. For leaving her with all of this.

Damn you Bellamy.

XoXoXoX

Raven threw the wrench down on the desk and hung her head. It was days like this when she was alone in the work room that Wick's absence weighed heavily on her.

He had been so kind to her. Been a friend after Finn and now he too had gone the same way.

She pushed herself away from the table and made to leave the room. She couldn't be here anymore.

Raven walked outside and watched the grounders move around camp, helping with the hunt, and smiled to herself. Bellamy would be proud. After everything their people were still together. Still hanging on.

Lexa would be back, of that she was sure, she loved Clarke and her people meant the world to her. She wouldn't leave them.

XoXoXoX

Abby opened the door to the medical ward. Clarke was still lying in the exact same position and she internally groaned.

"Come on Clarke" She placed herself down on the chair she had become accustomed too over the previous few weeks.

"Work with me here"

Abby lowered the tray on the bedside table.

"Look, I know you're going through an internal hell right now but we need you… We always need you. Lexa will be back and when she does you can slap her or whatever else you want to do but until then please just try… Try and help us all? Octavia needs you, Raven needs you and I need you. We love you Clarke. We're all here for you"

She got up and left after that.

The food was gone when she returned later.

Let me know about the Epilogue?