A/N: Hello, everyone! Here's the next chapter of my fanfic. More looks at Grell's inflections, basically. I think this chapter is really important because it's another step to her finding her true self. It's messy and a bit complicated, but I enjoyed writing it. I tried my best to correct errors.
I have this idea that shinigami can change their appearances, but sometimes it's not always by their own will.
I hope you enjoy, thank you!
Upon entering the dorm, William proceeded to explain the regulations and expectations when on campus in his monotonous tone, handing Grell a change of clothes. The new shinigami took her clothes into the bathroom to change, but felt like she would seem as if she wasn't listening to William if she shut the door. It was an awkward exchange as Grell stumbled around in the small bathroom trying to get into the pajamas, tripping over pant legs and struggling to slip her arms through the sleeves of the loose-fitting night-shirt. She huffed as she fastened the last button on the shirt, feeling the worst was behind her. But of course, she must humiliate herself further by tripping over her own clothes she dropped in a heap near the doorway. Grell hit the linoleum floor with a smack, and William turned to see her scramble to her feet.
"Sutcliffe, this may be hopeless." William sighed, watching the other shinigami rush to pick up the clothes she discarded on the ground.
Grell's face flushed a bright red when she straightened up to see that the man was wearing an identical pair of night-clothes as she was. He apparently felt no shame in wearing the childish blue flannel pajamas, and having an extra pair, at that.
"Is there a problem?" He inquired, pushing his glasses up on his face.
The reaper jumped from her daydreaming and shook her head, bumbling over the bed William hadn't claimed as his own. After folding her clothes, she crawled under the blankets of the bed and pulled them up over her forehead. When she was a child, as a mortal, she would curl up under the blankets and try to make herself into the smallest ball she could manage, pretending she was disappearing the smaller and smaller she went. Grell wasn't a child anymore, and it dawned on her that night that she couldn't fit herself into a very small ball when she tried that tactic she'd mastered when she was young. She slowly allowed herself to stretch out from the position, and did something she hadn't been able to do for years. She slept well.
The next morning Grell awoke with a start, frantically looking around the room. Sunlight shone from the open blinds into her face, and she blinked as she recollected her memories. The nightmare wasn't over yet, but at least one factor wasn't there when she woke. William had apparently left already, leaving a stack of clothes on the dresser with a note. She swung her legs over the bed and planted her bare feet on the ground, pushing the blankets away from herself. The shinigami straightened her back and stretched out her arms, yawning as she stood up. Grell shuffled over to the dresser, squinting through the bright light streaming in through the window, not yet pulled from the groggy morning daze. She took the note in her hand, but the words were blurry. This is odd, she would usually read it clear as day even if it was feet away from her face…
Grell sighed as she remembered that she now needed glasses to see even a foot away, and trudged back to the bed to try and fish the pair she was issued the other day from deep within the blankets, which had fallen off her face as she slept. With her second pair of eyes pushed up her nose and fitting snugly on her face, she proceeded the note.
Mister Sutcliffe, (the greeting made her shudder) I have left a uniform for you on the dresser, and it should fit you. I am waiting for you in the Academy library, which is directly across from building four. You should be able to manage getting over there. I only hope you haven't slept too late. –William
The new shinigami took the clothes in her arms and crumpled up the note, tossing it into the trash before changing. The uniform William left for her fit better than the pajamas he gave her to wear the night before, which were quite loose. She dressed herself in the plain black, professional-looking suit, and ventured out of the room, peeking her head out the door. The hall was abandoned and the only sounds was the whirring vent, already circulating the heat so early in the morning. Grell stepped out into the hall and proceeded to the stair well, pulling open the door. A wave of heat rolled over her and she sighed. It had to be this hot, of course! She would do that to herself in a nightmare. She regretted wanting to live in a tropical place in her mortal life. Grell began the trek down the two flights of stairs and outside on to the cobblestone.
The square was bustling with life, and many young shinigami walked with friends or buried their noses in books. She felt very out of place with her long hair tied back, and at least she was dressed like the other boys walking around. Grell ducked passed moving groups, herds of students flocking to the main building which loomed over the street, standing next to a clock tower as tall as its highest peak. She briskly climbed the steps of the library and pushed open one of the heavy double doors.
Inside, rows and rows of shelves towering to the ceiling stretched on beyond Grell's field of vision. Tall ladders reached up to the top of the shelves to get even the highest books. The new reaper reasoned that shinigami were serious about their studying, which is exactly what William was doing when she found him behind a stack of thick novels, fingering a page, anticipating the continuation of the sentence he read last. Grell tapped him on the shoulder and he turned around, eyes wide and flustered from being interrupted. He relaxed when he saw it was only the feeble little Grell.
"Mister Sutcliffe, I see that you were able to at least dress yourself." William droned, turning his eyes back to his book.
"Of course I did. I see that it doesn't take long to get into the shinigami lifestyle, then?" She huffed, gesturing to the stack of books.
"Only if you understand the importance of it all. Education is not taken lightly, and that is a value I shared in my previous life." He shrugged, pushing his glasses up his nose.
Grell didn't want to say that she wasn't exactly an aspiring achiever in her grades during school. Because of this reason was the fact she never grew to be anything more than a tailor, but she supposed it did her as good as it could have.
"What is the schedule like at the Academy?" Grell asked, dusting off a book with her hand and opening the cover to read the title.
"You will be attending the same classes as me, and the regular school day usually lasts from 9:00 in the morning to 4:00 in the afternoon. The rest of the day I usually study in the dorm or the library. That's at least been my experience so far at the Academy. I think you forget I've been here only three weeks longer than you." William replied.
"Is there nothing else to do but study in this place?" She groaned in distaste, placing the book back in its place on top of the stack.
"It is a reasonable idea to study after school, but there are cafés. Many students go down in the human world and go out for drinks."
"You mean to say that there is a way to go back to the human world?" Grell exclaimed, jumping at the thought.
"Yes, but I don't see why there would be any need to. It's filthy there, I even thought so while I was a human." William said, closing his book. "We should go. I'd like to get to class early so we can get seats up in front."
Grell nodded blithely, her mind occupied at the thought of returning to the human world and waking from this nightmare if only for a night. William weaved through rows of book shelves, with Grell in tow, ducking out of the large double doors once the clock tower rang throughout the campus.
William cursed. "I suppose my watch is fifteen minutes early. We're already late, Sutcliffe, come on!"
The two ran down the cobblestone walk, now deserted by all the students who were all probably in class. By the time they reached the classroom after running through the halls, (Grell only slipped once or twice) there were two seats left in the very back of the room, and they inched to their seats so the professor didn't notice their tardiness.
The whole day had gone by in quite the blur, and the moment they were released from their classes, Grell and William parted ways. William, no doubt, headed over to the library to study some more, and Grell climbed right back into bed once back at the dorm. She found herself staring up at the ceiling, with dull sunlight trying to light up the room behind the blinds. The shinigami found herself trying to block out her thoughts, wanting to numb herself to her feelings. At first she tricked herself into thinking she was falling asleep, but it soon wore off and she opened her eyes to the same situation she was in before. She knew the reason for her angst was the same reason she had taken her own mortal life. Grell cursed every time of that day when her pupils and professors called her 'Mister Sutcliffe."
She sighed in defeat and walked to the bathroom, standing in front of the mirror with absolute disgust of her appearance. Although it wasn't defined, she could feel every masculine form of her jaw, her wide shoulders, flat chest and big hands. How could she possibly be a lady with these aspects of her figure? Grell stared at herself for a long while in the mirror. No matter how much she tried to pull other's attention away from these physical attributes, she still looked the part of her biological gender.
Grell had grown her ugly brown hair out so it flowed to her mid-back, and even tied it back with a pretty red ribbon, but that had no effect on her. She still looked masculine, and she absolutely despised it. What was the point in all the fuss to look female if it made no difference at all?
The shinigami pulled the ribbon from her hair and let it drape around her face, with the long bangs falling in her face, concealing her eyes, which welled up with tears. She was a hopeless case, she truly was. Perhaps she should just end it all together, cut her hair and assume the male look.
Grell wandered back out into the main room to find something sharp enough to cut through her thick hair. The best thing she could find was a letter opener on William's desk, and she took it back into the bathroom. She started with her long bangs, now she could see her swollen, red eyes, strained from holding back tears. Her cheeks were red and she exhaled slowly, feeling her breath shake with uncertainty. Something was moving inside of her, a whole ocean of emotion roaring through her. Grell couldn't tell if it was negative or something else, but she kept chopping off lock after lock, letting the brown hair fall into the sink. When she was done as she could have been, her whole head of hair was an absolute mess, spikes sticking up all over the place, with choppy split ends. She ran her fingers through it, trying to style it into something tamer, feeling anger rise up in her chest over everything. Absolutely everything was coming over her. Every night she'd cried, every time someone had called her 'Mister Sutcliffe'. Every demon she'd ever fought was stampeding over her crushed heart all over again, and hot tears streamed down her cheeks, puffy and red with the anger. Anger, hot red anger, travelling up her throat in a scream that Grell held back through grit teeth.
And she closed her eyes and felt it rush over her, and leave her as quick as it had come. She sighed, and it shook with a sob that she cursed quietly under her breath. When her eyelids fluttered open, her hair was the same red anger that shrieked and shook throughout her bones and veins.
Her hair was bright crimson, and her eyes grew red with shock. How had she done this? Was it another power that shinigami had, that perhaps she would know if she paid attention to anything her professors were saying today? How utterly terrible it was! But, it didn't look bad on her…
She smiled beside herself, and was shocked again when her teeth were pointed to perfect shark-like angles. Had she grit her teeth so hard that they chiseled each other into daggers? Perhaps she would have to ask William about these weird transformations. Grell couldn't say that she disliked them. The red was bold, and the teeth were too, and she liked herself better this way, with this dangerous vibe. She looked scary. Scary enough to convince people not to call her 'Mister Sutcliffe?' Maybe not. So much for fitting in, anyway. This whole thing was to fit in with the other boys, and now she will stand out more then ever.
Grell looked down at the pile of brown hair in the sink, and she sighed. For what reason, she couldn't tell. Was it because she didn't like this look at all, or perhaps she had finally torn at herself long enough to find a peace within herself? She sunk to her knees and looked up at the ceiling, waiting for something to happen next. Grell was too tired to force herself to do anything, so she waited. And, sleep came. As she slipped away into her dreams, she thought why the sleep didn't feel like coming to her an hour before.
A/N: There you have it. It took a long time for me to write this chapter, mainly because so much development was going on with Grell, it was hard to fit it all in correctly, so I settled with this mess of a chapter.
No matter, I hope you enjoyed in nonetheless, and please review to tell me how I'm doing. c: Thanks!