I am still enraptured by Quinn's beautiful eyes when I feel her hand slip into mine. She turns to lead me back towards our friends, glancing over her shoulder with a smile when I give her hand a little squeeze.

Kurt and Rachel are looking at us in complete and utter shock, mouth agape when we just sit down as if nothing is amiss.

"Wha…um…so you guys…uh…?"

Kurt is stammering dumbly. Rachel still hasn't moved past gaping.

Quinn raises her eyebrows at him and tilts her head as if she doesn't understand why he's stuttering over his words. Her casual lack of concern over their reaction should be surprising, but she has confounded my every expectation over the past 36 hours or so and I'm almost beginning to expect it at this point. I can't keep my eyes off of her.

"What the hell was that?"

Rachel finally speaks and she actually sounds kind of angry. My head snaps around so I can study her face. She's looking between Quinn and me, but stops to focus her attention on my face, her eyes hard. I immediately feel defensive and irritated.

"I don't know what you saw, Berry, but it seemed like a pretty amazing kiss to me. Is that a problem for you?"

Rachel looks away from my angry glare, grimacing when I call her by her last name like I did when she was nothing more than a target.

"No, of course not. It's just unexpected, that's all."

I can tell that she has more to say. The words are bubbling to the surface, I can almost see the battle she's waging to keep them in. I internally will her to keep her big mouth shut for once, but of course she can't.

"Do you really think it's prudent to suddenly become involved with your other best friend after everything with Brittany ended so painfully? I mean, Quinn is obviously gorgeous and I can certainly understand the appeal, but you can have anyone, Santana. Why her?"

I sincerely can't believe Rachel not only just brought up my ex like that, but spoke as if Quinn isn't sitting right next to me. Even Kurt looks at her in horror. I fill my lungs with oxygen to enable the torrent of soul crushing insults on the tip of my tongue to rain down on her, but I am cut off before I can speak my mind.

"Rachel, I kissed Santana. And as sudden as this is, it's actually not as sudden as you think. We're not just messing around here. So thank you for your concern, but we're okay."

Quinn's hand is resting gently on my lower back as she speaks. Her voice is calm and she smiles at my roommates when she finishes. She's trying to prevent my explosion and appease Rachel's imprudent worries at the same time.

I reluctantly sigh and bite back the angry words I want to unleash on my small, loud, rude, irritating roommate. Kurt looks as if the apocalypse has just been averted, and he tentatively speaks up.

"I'm sorry, but I just have to ask. How "not sudden" is this? I like to think I've got pretty fantastic gaydar, but Quinn hasn't set it off since she got over her weird punk phase at the beginning of senior year."

Quinn and I both smile in response, remembering our earlier conversation. I look to Q, handing the question off to her since she seems to be better prepared to talk rationally with these two right now.

"Actually that's pretty close to when I first realized I had a crush on Santana. And then last year at Mr. Schuester's first attempt to marry Miss Pillsbury we…blurred the lines of friendship a bit."

Quinn smiles her perfect smile in my direction and I automatically return it. Once again, she has me mesmerized, but I immediately try to shake it off. I can't sit here looking lovesick in front of Kurtchel. I'll never live it down—if I ever speak to Rachel again of course.

"Really? Wow. I must have been so caught up in Blaine...good for you guys though. So when did you realize you were gay, Quinn?"

I stiffen at the question. I've wondered about this, but it seemed like an unwise question to point-blank ask. She's been amazingly calm and self-assured about all of this, but I don't want her to freak out.

"Honestly, I haven't given much thought to what I am. I've never been attracted to another woman besides Santana. I don't know what that means, exactly. All I know is that this feels right."

Quinn shrugs as if this is no big thing, as if she hasn't just set my heart racing with her simple words.

This feels right.

Kurt literally squeals with delight.

"So like, is this a thing now? Are you guys, you know, a…thing?" He looks as if Christmas has come early, his eyes are alight with excitement.

My best friend laughs, and then leans forward to whisper loudly, so that everyone at the table can hear.

"I'll let you know at the end of this weekend."

She looks over at me questioningly, waiting for me to confirm that we will, in fact, know by the end of this weekend. Apparently for all of her gifts, reading minds is not of one of them, because she would know beyond a doubt that I don't need even one more second of deliberation on the matter. I know now.

I nod with a little smirk on my face and lean towards her, indescribably pleased when she meets me halfway and gives me a light peck.

"I'm sorry! It's just that I don't want to see you heartbroken again, Santana. I care about you. You didn't see what I saw, Quinn. You didn't see her after Brittany."

My eyes snap shut at Rachel's intrusive, obnoxious voice once again grating against my most sensitive nerves. I hear Q take in a sharp breath, surely experiencing a moment of doubt having been compared to my first love twice now. Berry has a death wish, she must.

I turn my head and open my eyes, glaring at her. My anger falters, however, when I see the look on Rachel's face. She's completely serious. She's actually worried about me. Why does that surprise me so much?

Rachel did see me after my break up, and it wasn't a pretty picture. She withstood barrage after barrage of attacks in her determined effort to get me to talk to her about it. I hated her for it at the time, but when the day came that she broke through my defenses and I spoke, or rather sobbed, about the loss and the pain and the regrets, something changed. I was stronger the next day, and then the next stronger still. It had been Rachel who made me myself again, maybe even a better version. Without her, I almost certainly wouldn't be here right now, wouldn't have even be able to tell Quinn that I'd fallen in love with her and had never stopped being in love her.

More than that, it had been me who held a brokenhearted Rachel after Finn passed away so suddenly. The apologies I would have said to him went to Rachel instead, and she had accepted my remorse and offered me forgiveness without hesitation. I'd listened to her talk to Finn at night, lying in my arms, until she finally began to speak to me about him instead of pretending he was still there with her. It had been a jarring, awful reminder that life is short and precious, and our relationship strengthened with our mutual grief and our willingness to hold each other up until we could stand on our own again.

It only takes me a second to know that Rachel deserves more than just another attack for her impossibly bad timing and inability to properly consider time, place and audience for her concerns.

"Rach…"

I'm not sure what to say here, in front of these particular people, to assure her that I am okay. No, not okay. Echelons above okay. Somewhere in the stratosphere above just "okay."

"I wrote the song for Quinn. It's about her."

Kurt and Rachel both lean back in shock, disbelief on their faces. My words are hurried, my tone annoyed that I have to explain something that is inexplicable.

"I've asked myself a million times since, 'why her?' Trust me, I tried not to let it be her, but I didn't get to choose. It's just her. I can't control how I feel about her, and I wouldn't change it if I could. She's…"

I look at Quinn, who is studying my face, and smile lightly. My voice is softer when I finish my thought.

"She's amazing."

"Awwwwwwwww."Kurt looks like he wants to cry a little, ever the completely sappy romantic.

Q and I both roll our eyes, the blush on her cheeks so adorable that I lean in and kiss her cheek quickly. My focus returns to Rachel who is taking everything in, still looking slightly worried. Eventually her face relaxes and she shakes her head a little before smiling.

"Well then what are we waiting for? Let's eat our food and drink our drinks so that Kurt and I can get on that stage and sing you guys some sappy love songs!"

Many drinks and trite love songs later, we're on the subway heading home. We barely make it one stop before Quinn has curled herself against me and closed her eyes. I smile as I kiss the top of her head gently.

Rachel nudges my foot with hers and I look up to see her deep brown eyes looking at Quinn before switching to me.

"I'm happy for you, San. I'm sorry for how I reacted. You guys seem great together."

"Thanks, Rachel. And thank you for caring enough to be worried."

"Yeah, well, you're kind of my favorite mean bitch."

I smile, touched by her term of endearment. Mean bitch I am, but Rachel is now in the defensive bubble I cast around myself, generally safe from insults and instead protected by me and my vicious, vicious words.

"I try."

"So what's the plan, you know, for the distance?"

"There isn't one, yet. We'll figure it out tomorrow, I guess."

Rachel nods.

"When are you going to tell Brittany?"

I sigh, not really wanting to keep talking about this. Kurt glances up from his phone when he hears that name, looking incredulous that Rachel has brought her up again.

"I don't know. Do I even need to tell her? She's busy at MIT and we've been over for a year. She told me to move on, and I have."

"Santana. This isn't some girl you work with at the diner. You got away with not mentioning Dani because you weren't that serious about it. It has taken you a year to reassemble your relationship with Brittany. She needs to hear about this from you or you'll lose that friendship and I know you don't want that. You still love her."

I glance down in alarm at Quinn to make sure she's actually sleep. Her face is smooth and calm, so I assume she is. I whisper my next words urgently.

"I don't still love her like this though, Rachel. I love B-her because I just do. I always have and always will. It's not like that anymore with her."

"No, I know. Sorry, I didn't mean to imply that you're in love with her, just that she's important to you and you need to take care of that friendship. That's all I'm saying."

She's right, but I don't respond other than to nod my head. I look instead at Kurt, who is trying to text someone at 3 am. One of his eyes is closed, and I know he's way too drunk to be texting.

I kick Rachel's foot and then incline my head towards Kurt. She follows my gesture and shakes her head in amusement before taking his phone out of his hands.

"Heyyyy! Give it baaaaaack!"

"No. You should not be texting at this hour or in this inebriated state."

"Whaaaat? Noooo. I'm not even that drunk. Give it!" Kurt is slurring badly and I roll my eyes.

"You can't even read with both eyes open! Just wait until we get to the loft okay?"

Kurt opens his mouth to complain again and I just can't with this anymore.

"Kurt. No. Put your head back and relax."

My firm tone shuts him up. He sticks his tongue out at me and scowls, and then does exactly as I asked.

I smile to myself and rest my cheek on the top of Quinn's head.

If someone had tried to paint this scene for me a year ago I would've laughed in their face.

I wake up curled around the prettiest girl I've ever seen, our skin flush with one another's. It takes just a second for my memory to catch up and explain exactly why I'm lying in bed with this girl, nearly naked.

We'd all stumbled into the loft, Rachel leading Kurt to his bed and me nearly carrying Quinn to mine. Rach and I met back up in the kitchen where we both grabbed bottles of water and wished each other luck with our respective drunks. How in the hell we ended up as the sober ones is beyond me.

Quinn was snoring lightly on my bed when I'd walked back in. I didn't want to wake her up, but she needed to get into something more comfortable and she really needed to drink water.

I'd gotten as far as getting her to drink the bottle of water and peeling her dress off before she insisted that she needed to sleep "right the fuck now," and that I needed to join her.

"But you're half naked," I'd whined. Surely she knew it was cruel to ask me to sleep that close to her with nothing on.

"You've seen me in less," she replied, her eyes closed and a smile playing at her lips.

"Not fair, Quinn."

"Then take your damn clothes off too. Just get in this bed and cuddle me because I need to sleep NOW."

I don't know why I listened to her. Maybe because I knew that feeling her skin against mine would be amazing and comforting and perfect. Maybe because being close to her gives me a sense of calm that is both unexpected and reassuring. Maybe because with all of our layers off it's like a physical representation of how I want to be with her emotionally.

No matter the reason, now I'm here, curled up against her, listening to her breathe. I can't tell if she's awake or not, so I carefully begin to extricate myself from her. I'm almost off the bed when she turns over and grabs my wrist tightly.

"Where are you going?" Her soft mumbled whisper is cute in its confusion.

"Shower."

She nods, but doesn't release my wrist. I wait, uncertain if she's fallen back asleep since she's never actually opened her eyes.

"Can I come?"

Hazel-green eyes open slowly as a small smile spreads across slightly chapped lips. She studies me, waiting for my answer. My heart has leapt at the same time that hot arousal shoots through me and my inner smart ass answers before I give it any thought at all.

"Well I'm sure you can, the real question is how many times?"

For some reason I don't care at all that my roommates will be waiting on the bathroom when they wake up. I don't care that they will almost certainly have no hot water by the time we're finally out. I don't even care that I don't care, because Quinn is leaving today and this is the only actual room with walls and a door in the loft and I need her.

My fingertips trace the light pink scars that adorn the left side of her body. I've never told her how scared I was, how the moment she stood up again and I slipped my arm around her felt like God himself had just said yes to my every prayer. She doesn't know I sent that kid Joe to keep her company after Britt and I danced together, certain that he would be a better comfort than I would, that he would know what to say. She doesn't know that I saw how he looked at her, and even though I loved Brittany so much, she doesn't know how much it killed me that he was allowed to and I wasn't.

At some point I'm going to tell her all of these things. I have the time to tell her everything, and she'll listen to me. It's a heady, overwhelming thought.

We can make this work.

Quinn captures my lips with hers and covers my hand with her own. She pulls back and looks away, seemingly self-conscious.

"What's the matter?" I ask, softly.

"I just…hate these scars. And the stretch marks. It's like a reminder that my body has gone through too much to just be 20 years old."

I shake my head and then kiss her softly.

"You are perfect, Lucy Quinn Fabray. You've been through a lot, sure, but you've survived every time. And every time, you've gotten just a little bit stronger. It's one of the things I admire most about you. Who could possibly suspect that hidden beneath this beautiful exterior could be someone so smart, so brave, so tough? Seriously. How do you even exist?"

Quinn laughs a little breathy laugh that brings a grin to my face. She kisses me so sweetly my heart aches a little bit.

The tender gentleness of the kiss is gone in moments and when her tongue reaches mine I know exactly where we're headed.

The incessant banging on the door has reached a crescendo that can no longer be ignored. I wrap Quinn in one of Kurt's impossibly plush towels and then wrap my arms around her from behind, planting a kiss on her perfect soft cheek.

"Who knew you were such a romantic, Santana Lopez? I mean, besides Brittany."

I freeze in shock. We're fresh out of the shower, still naked, and she brings this up? I turn away and grab a towel for myself.

"San, wait. Don't turn away."

I keep my back turned as I wrap the towel around me.

"I don't understand why she keeps coming up. Like, I get it, everyone thought we were endgame. I did, too. But it's over, it's been over. I haven't brought up your exes. I don't want to talk about her. And after a shower with you, no less."

"You're right, this is bad timing. It wasn't intentional, it just kind of slipped out. But Santana, do you realize you haven't said her name once? That you stopped yourself when you almost did? I heard you talking to Rachel last night."

She is quiet behind me, waiting for a response, but I've got nothing. After a beat of silence her hands are on my shoulders, but then she moves them to rest on my hips. She gently turns me to face her.

"Let's go get dressed and then go for a walk and talk about things before I have to catch the train tonight, okay? I'm sorry, please pretend like I didn't say anything," Quinn is dipping her head to look me in the eye.

I sigh, because it's already out there, but I know I don't want to waste any of the time I have with her.

My slight nod is all she needs, and she brings her lips gently to mine, easily soothing away my irritation. After just a moment of hesitation I let myself go, pressing against her and kissing her back until another round of door hammering breaks us reluctantly apart.

We're walking hand in hand to one of my favorite local hole-in-the-wall restaurants. Quinn's hand feels cold in mine, so I slip both of our hands into the warmth of my coat pocket, not wanting to let go.

"You know, San, New York suits you. I knew it when we came to convince Rachel not to do that ridiculous student film, but now I have no doubt. I know it must have been a tough choice, but leaving Louisville was for the best, don't you think?"

I know she's trying to avoid directly mentioning Brittany, but my move to New York is intimately tied to the end of our relationship, and I can't talk about one without thinking of the other.

"Yeah, I mean…this move has definitely been an improvement. I needed to take the risk and challenge myself, and so far it's been more worth it than I could have ever expected."

She smiles lightly.

"And why's that?" Quinn is looking at me slyly, and I know she knows.

"You know why. Without New York my song doesn't get picked up, you don't hear it, this doesn't happen. That's reason enough for me."

She leans against me with a happy little smirk, but I stop and face her.

"Quinn…I'm always going to love Br-"

I pause and take a deep breath.

"I'm always going to love Brittany. She was the very first person who made me believe that love wasn't some imaginary sentiment. She's my first love, she's slowly becoming one of my best friends again, and Rachel is right, I'm going to need to tell her about us sooner rather than later. But what's important to me is that you know that I don't love her like that anymore. Do you believe that?"

"Of course I do, San. I know Britt is an important part of your life. You don't have to pretend like she isn't for me, okay? She's my friend, too. Whatever future we have is going to have her in it, so I just don't want you feeling like you've got to clam up whenever her name is spoken out loud."

My heart leaps when she says "future." I'll take any future with her I can get.

"Okay, so there's a future for us? Because I want to be with you, I want to see if we can make this work. Every single minute we've spent together has just reaffirmed that I'm still in love with you and I will go any distance, I will fight for you, Quinn."

The movie star smile I know so well graces her perfect mouth and she launches herself into me, stealing my breath with a kiss full of intention.

It's a kiss that says YES.

The crazy rush of New York swirls around us on the platform at Penn Station, our reluctance to part becoming more and more evident with each passing moment. Kurt and Rachel kindly said their goodbyes and stepped away to wait for me, but I can't seem to let this gorgeous girl get on that train.

"Are you sure it's completely non-negotiable?" I ask her in a hushed whisper.

"I have class tomorrow, San. I have to go. But when I get back I'll call you on Skype and we'll look at our schedules and we'll plan the next time we see each other. I don't want to go, but we're going to make this work."

She rests her forehead against mine after giving me a slight peck. Her eyes are closed and I can feel her hesitancy. I know if I really pushed her I could get her to stay, but I also know that wielding that power irresponsibly will only hurt us in the long haul. Still, it is hard to fight back against the urge to beg.

Instead, I sigh deeply and pull her close to me, unsure of what words to say at this point. Suddenly, I remember.

"You know, I've been thinking about it, and if I had to guess, I'd say you probably clicked your phone off and sat in your chair with your eyes closed for a minute. Then you opened your laptop and looked up the train schedule. You didn't actually take the first train because you knew it would be at least 6 or 7 hours before I landed in New York. After you figured out your train situation, you got up and laid out different outfits for different scenarios, saving the outfit you'd wear to pick me up for last. You killed it, by the way, I almost died. Once you were all packed and ready to go, you took a shower and did your hair. You called Rachel to tell her you were coming once you were on the train, and then put some music on and picked up a book you've read a hundred times. You started reading from a random chapter and got lost in it until you arrived in New York. How'd I do?"

Quinn has leaned back and is studying me, a slow smile spreading on her angelic face.

"Awfully damn close, Miss Lopez, I'm impressed. Except that I couldn't actually get lost in my book, no matter how hard I tried. I kept fidgeting. I was so anxious and nervous to see you, but so excited too. I ended up buying and listening to the original versions of every song you ever sang as a solo in Glee. I like your version better of all of them, but having those songs on…I just sat back and pictured you singing. You're so talented, Santana. I'm so proud of you, and proud to be with you."

I give her a little kiss that turns deeper when they announce her train and I know she has to go.

"You better get going, Q. I'll be waiting for your call."

"Okay. Talk to you later."

She brushes her lips against my cheek and then turns with her bag. She's almost on the train when the words finally spill from my mouth.

"Quinn?"

My heart leaps when she turns to look at me.

"I love you."

She smiles that smile…that damn smile that lights up the darkest places inside of me.

"I love you too, Santana."

She gets on the train and I stand there until it departs, Rachel and Kurt eventually coming to join me once I'm alone.

I'm feeling a weird combination of happy sadness that I'm not sure I could ever really explain.

She's gone, but she loves me.

She loves me, but she's not here.

We love each other.

Somehow, I just know that this is the start. This is the moment. And I smile as my roommates and I turn to walk away.