There will be a shorter chapter posted up on my AO3 account that depicts what Raph and April were doing while Don and Mikey had their talk a little later.
His brother was still beside him. He could hear the clash of steel in the hallway as the other two fought the foot clan.
"Come on, Leo, get up." There was no response from the leader. Raph just pushed harder. "Come on, Leo, this isn't funny." The largest turtle's voice cracked as fear and panic coursed through him. He could feel the stickiness of the drying blood on his legs. A noise across the room caught his attention.
A figure was moving in the distance, though just barely. It was Erin- he refused to call that thing that had the face of his beloved April anything else. April, his April, the woman he had imagined spending the rest of his life with, had died years ago. Raphael's breathing became heavier as he took his brother's cold hand and pressed it close to his face.
"Leo, c'mon, you hafta to get up. I need you to get up." Panic began to seize through him, and he reached up to check Leonardo's pulse like Donnie had taught him. He was still for one minute, than two.
He felt nothing.
Raph felt like the tears were going to overwhelm him, then she moved again, trying to get up.
He snapped. He had to get rid of this abomination that pretended to care for him and his family.
Picking up his sais, he stalked over to the one person who had meant more than anything in this world to him, and stood over her.
"How could ya do this to us?" He hissed, his voice breaking. "You were our Hogosha, our guardian." The red turtle knelt down next to the woman who had once been the love of his life. His eyes traced the familiar form.
"What are you going to do?' the beaten woman growled. "You couldn't hurt me." A dark smile came to Raphael's face and he laughed.
"Yes I can." He said, voice thick, as he pressed the tip of one sai into her skin, blood welling up from the incision. "I have to."
Taking his time, he drug the weapon down Erin's torso. The woman snarled beneath him, and tried to move her arms. Raph pressed his hand against the kunoichi's chest.
"Now you stop that." He growled darkly, digging the blade into her lower abdomen. Erin continued to fight beneath him, and Raph used a free hand to clutch her shirt, and Erin began to scream in pain.
"Stop! Please stop! I'm begging you!" She cried "I'm sorry, Raph I'm so sorry." But he was too lost into the dark part of himself to care. He brought up a sai, and slammed it down into the monster that had taken over his April's heart. She gave one last whimper, and reached up to touch his cheek with a shaky hand.
"I'm so sorry." Came a soft whisper in a different tone, and Raph looked down as the hand slipped from his cheek, landing limply beside her. Soft, dark auburn hair haloed her face, which was scar less. In place of the foot soldier uniform she had on just moments ago, she was in her normal tee shirt and bright yellow jacket. April.
He froze when he realized what he had done. He had killed her. In the end his temper, no matter how hard he tried to fight it, had hurt her.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, NO.
He pulled her close to his chest, tears coming down his cheeks.
The feel for her cooling body only made the darkness that was threatening to consume him worse. He welcomed it, wanting to do nothing more than to drown in it.
He laid her down, kissing her cold lips.
"It's all your fault." Came a cold hiss. He turned to see Erin standing there, in foot uniform, her kusarigama swinging idly in her hands. Raph found he couldn't move as he tried to pick up his weapons. All he could do was stand there as she came closer to him, blue eyes so icy cold.
"What do ya mean it my fault!" he growled low, his gold eyes flashing darkly. She let out a cold, bitter laugh.
"If you had the balls to stand up to Leonardo, to tell him 'No, I'm staying.', this would have never happened." She hissed. She moved up to him, using the scythe to tip his head up, and looked straight into his eyes. "Mister 'I don't need to listen to anyone' got the woman he said he loved captured, beaten, raped, and brainwashed." She bared her teeth in a feral smile. "Some boyfriend you are." She moved behind him, pressing the blade to his neck. It was eerily similar to their first meeting on the roof top. "And to think she wanted to spend the rest of her life with you. Such a shame."
He didn't argue with her, he knew she was right. He should have fought harder to stay with her, to protect her, and now…
He shut his eyes, ready for that final cut, welcoming it. He didn't deserve to live after what he had caused her. He felt Erin press the blade harder to his throat, the steel digging into it. Warm blood spilled down his front, and he began to feel woozy, head spinning. She stepped away, and he fell to the ground. As Erin walked away, he used the last of his strength to pull April's body close, burying his face into her silky hair. One last thought came him as oblivion took him.
I'm so sorry April, I love you.
Raphael jerked awake, sweating, and panting heavily. He pressed his face into his hands, trying to ease the pounding in his chest.
A noise caused him to look up, and April stood at the doorway. For the briefest moment she seemed to have a nasty smile on her face, but it was gone so quickly he attributed it to the nightmare he just had.
"Are you okay?" she asked gently, moving into the room. Sitting down on the bed next to him, she wrapped an arm around him.
Raph pulled her into his arms, giving her a gentle squeeze and rested his head on her shoulder.
"Yah," he said softly. "Just a nightmare." She leaned her head against his, and he felt her nod.
"You too?" she said, adjusting herself to sit in his lap. She turned her head to brush her lips to his cheek and kissed him softly. He tightened his arms around her, breathing her scent deeply in.
"Want to stay for the night?" He asked, motioning to his side of the bed. She smiled up at him, and he flushed as he saw heat come into her eyes.
"Yes," She whispered hoarsely. "But I think I could use some help getting to sleep first." She took his lips with hers and Raphael closed his eyes, allowing himself to drift away with the feeling of her.
Donatello rubbed his temples as he sat at the kitchen table, a bottle of vodka in front of him. He normally didn't drink. He hated how it messed with his cognitive abilities, but tonight he needed to drown the images of the videos he had seen.
Earlier that day April had helped him hack into where all the secret file of what had been Sachs Industries were stored. He had spent hours going through them, but had only been halfway through when he found the videos. Those goddamned videos. There wasn't enough alcohol on the earth to burn away the images he had seen.
He flinched as he could hear her screaming in his mind, her blood pooled on the floor, and he took another swig of the bottle. Leo was going to kill him tomorrow if the hangover didn't but Donatello could care less at the moment. He just needed to wash away those images.
"Donnie?" He turned to the voice coming from the doorway. Michelangelo stood there, his bright blue eyes filled with concern. "You okay bro?" Donnie rubbed his face, and shook his head indicating the negative. His baby brother sat down in the chair beside him, and put a hand on his shoulder. "What's wrong? Something happen?"
Donnie took a deep breath and shut his eyes. Starting by telling the brother least likely to go insane when he told them what had happened to her might be for the best. Also, despite the youngest turtle's goofiness, he also tended to be the more sensitive, after Donatello himself. Talking to Mikey might help the strange mixture of pain, anger, and guilt that was trying to consume Don.
"I found some videos of April." He started, swallowing hard. His brother swore softly beside him. "It was bad, real bad. What they did to her, I really can't believe she's still alive." He stopped, biting his lip to try and stop from crying. Mikey moved closer, moving his arm around Donnie's shoulders.
"Come on, Don, its okay. Just tell me what happened." The orange turtle encouraged, looking his brother in the eyes. Donnie nodded and pressed on.
"At first it was just the usual. Trying to get her to tell them where we went. They beat her around, but she refused to talk. Then they got worse. Some of the lab assistants and Foot Soldiers started using her for…" Don paused to think about how to put it. "Their own entertainment." He finished, unable to look in in the younger turtle's eyes. He could feel a darkness that he more associated with Raphael coming off his younger brother. The purple turtle took a deep breath and pressed on.
"The worse was this one were they held a handgun to her head. Told her they would shoot her if she didn't tell them where we were. She didn't even blink at the threat. Told them to just do it because Hell would freeze over before she told them anything." He paused to choke back a sob that had formed in the back of his throat. "There she was, beaten half to death, violated on multiple occasions, and they were threatening to kill her, and she didn't say a word. Didn't even tell them we had left her to be captured by them. The guy began to beat her with the handgrip, until the Shredder had to intervene to stop him."
"Jesus fucking Christ." Mikey said, looking ill. Don took another drink from the bottle, and passed it to Mikey, who took a good-sized drink from the bottle.
"I did find out what they used to brainwash her though, so that was good." Donatello added. "They used nanites to block some parts of her brain. They also added false memories into that section, which is why she fights like she's been trained for longer than us, versus the five years she was gone."
"You think you can fix her?" The youngest asked, looking hopeful.
"Well, with how she is around Raph, I would say I could try to get some of her memories back." Donatello replied. "It's going to take some time, but I have a sample of the nanites they used from the blood sample I took earlier, so I can start by studying them." Mikey beamed at him, happy to hear at least a little bit of good news.
"That's great Donnie! I know you can figure something out, you always do!" He said happily, but then frowned. "You going to tell Raph and Leo about this?" Donatello looked at the vodka bottle and wondered briefly if there was enough left for those two conversations. Well- one at least. He was sure that April would tell Raph what had happened to her, which left Leonardo. And with the way the eldest had been acting that day, Donatello wasn't going looking forward to telling the leader what had happened.
"You know what sucks the most?" Donatello was shaken from his thoughts at the sound of his brother's voice. "It's our fault it happened. We just left her, when we knew that they already where paying attention to her due to her connection with Sachs' arrest. It's not like they would forget she put him in jail." Mikey took his arm from around Donnie's shoulder, and buried his face in his hands.
"I remember seeing her on the news before we met up with her, and she always looked so sad, like she had no one in this world to care for or care for her. Then after the thing at Sachs' Tower she looked so much happier. When her and Raph started their relationship…" He paused and a slightly yearning look came to his face. "She just glowed, she was so happy. She had someone who loved her so much, and a group of people that she could call her family, and then…we just took it away from her, without even asking what she wanted. And look where that got her." He huffed angrily. "She was tortured, raped, nearly killed, and had her memories wiped just to keep us safe." This time it was Donatello who put his hand on Michelangelo's shoulder.
"Come on, Mikey we should be heading to bed." Don looked at the clock and winced. It was almost one in the morning. Between that and the alcohol, training was going to be rough in the morning. The youngest nodded and headed to his room, leaving Don to put away the vodka.
As he headed to his own room, he passed by Raph's. The door was slightly ajar and he could see Raph sprawled out on his bed, with April laying on his shoulder. The various clothing items scattered across the room told the story of what they had been doing, and Donnie had to smile. Maybe getting April to remember her relationship with Raph was the keystone to getting the rest of her true memories back. Yawning, he continued on to his room, hoping for at least a little bit of sleep before training began.