Straight Forward

Chapter 8: Annoying

Sanji just happened to stumble upon Zoro, who was leaning against the railing. Zoro just happened to be watching a small redhead weeding the lawn deck. The deck usually didn't get weeds, but a few days ago they had sailed through some strange pink cloud and before they knew it, puffy and prickly plants had sprouted across the grass before their very eyes. It was unusual for Zoro to not be napping that time of day, so, of course Sanji just had to comment on what he was doing. "Enjoying the view, Marimo?"

Zoro sent him a glare. "Don't lump me in with you, crappy cook."

Sanji smirked and asked, "Why aren't you helping? Can't bear to cut up your cousins?" He resisted the urge to laugh as Usopp yanked at a particularly large weed and fell on his bottom, only to be sprayed with some odd orange powder that came from the plant he had just uprooted.

The green haired man crossed his arms in indignation. "I was helping but they grew back twice as fast when I cut them. Then Nami got mad and told me to go away."

"Nami-swan is down there?!" Sanji leaned over and put a hand to his brow to block out the sun as he scanned the area for the navigator. "A lady shouldn't be doing such a strenuous job."

"Shy's down there," Zoro reminded him.

A moment passed between them in utter silence before Sanji shrugged. "Eh."

"Wow. Harsh."

The cook raised a brow, a plan forming in his mind. He was going to make Zoro admit he had feelings for the girl whether he liked it or not. Slowly, Sanji pulled a cigarette from his pocket and brought his hand up to light it. "I wouldn't call her 'ladylike,' you know. More 'boyish' if you will."

The swordsman snorted. "Get that hair out of your eye, shitty cook."

"Maybe when you open yours." He wondered if Zoro could tell he didn't just mean physically. "Seriously, Marimo, why don't you just go down there, take her into your arms, and kiss her?"

Zoro faced him with an almost comical look of disgust on his face. "Who would ever actually do that?"

"Romantic men, like me."

"Stupid men, like you." Sanji sent him a glare and blew smoke in his face. Zoro refused to give the cook the satisfaction of seeing him cough. His eye turned back to the group below. "What the hell do you mean by 'boyish' anyway?"

Aha. Sanji smirked. So the idiot was taking the bait. "Well," he breathed as he hunched over the rail, mimicking Zoro's posture. "Her body isn't as full and womanly as say, Nami's or Robin's."

Zoro's brows pushed together in confusion. "What does that matter? Unless she's hiding a dick in her pants, there's nothing 'boyish' about her, you blind cook."

He would have laughed if Zoro's words hadn't sounded so serious. Instead, the blonde took another drag of his cigarette and said, "Pretty sure you already know she doesn't have one of those. Really, you should have thanked those stupid bounty hunters."

Sanji had expected Zoro to draw his swords and declare a fight. So when instead the swordsman turned incredibly offended eyes on him, he was taken slightly off guard. "Why are you being more of a creep than usual?"

The cook kept his eyes below, watching as Shiloh dug in with her heels, hair all over her face, trying to yank up a particularly thick and prickly weed. "I only seem that way because you don't want me saying anything bad about her," Zoro opened his mouth to speak, but Sanji cut him off by adding, "Because you like her."

"No I don't," Zoro grumbled. Sanji felt a little bubble of hope form in his chest and the lack of insistence in the green-haired man's voice. This he could work with.

"Marimo," he called with as much friendliness as he could muster. "Humor me for a second, will you?" Zoro eyed him suspiciously but didn't refuse. "You keep saying you don't like Shiloh," he received a small nod in response, "But what don't you like about her?"

Zoro seemed stunned by the question. His eye had gone wide for an instant before settling on the redhead. She was still pulling at the same large leaf, but Usopp had grabbed her by the waist while Luffy had him by the waist, the three of them trying to use their combined strength to pull it up. "She's…weird." Sanji snorted. "I'm serious. There are these things about her that just piss me off."

Sanji raised a brow at him, trying to hide a smile behind his cigarette. "Like what?"

Zoro raised his hand and pointed. "Like that."

Sanji eyes followed the path Zoro's finger made but only saw Shiloh sitting on the deck, triumphantly holding up the giant uprooted weed, Usopp and Luffy collapsed behind her. "Picking plants?"

Zoro let out an exasperated sigh. "No, you idiot. Watch." Rolling his eyes and beginning to think he was wasting his time, Sanji squinted in an effort to see better. It was subtle, but suddenly he saw what Zoro must have been talking about. Shiloh raised a hand and grasped at a lock of her hair, running her hand down the length before quickly brushing it behind her ear. It fell back down almost immediately.

Sanji felt his heart flutter, not because of Shiloh, but because he remembered the rush he had felt when he first saw Nami with her long hair. Whenever she walked it moved with her and all he wanted to do was reach out and touch it. He was sure it would be silky between his fingers. The cook took a side-long glace at the swordsman beside him. It was possible that Zoro didn't realize these "things" Shiloh did that "pissed him off" were only irritating due to infatuation.

Most likely, Sanji realized.

Exactly that, actually.

"You hate when she touches her hair?"

Zoro frowned. "It's so pointless. The damn hair doesn't stay in place anyway."

As if by some diving intervention, Nami bust out from the women's quarters and stomped her way towards the smaller redhead. Sanji watched her every step intently, marveling at the sway in her hips and the power in her walk. "I can't take it anymore," she stated, and promptly moved behind Shiloh and began pulling her hair into a high ponytail.

Sanji chuckled, "Well there you go, Marimo. Nami's taking care of it for y-" The words died in his throat as he noticed Zoro's face. The swordsman's one-eyed gaze was fixed on Shiloh's hair so intently that Sanji was convinced the girl could feel it. The cook snorted and was about to ask Zoro if he had some sort of hair fetish, when something down below caught his attention.

Nami was combing her fingers through Shiloh's red locks, gathering any stray strands. Sanji marveled at how her delicate fingers combed through the crimson waves. Clenched between the navigator's teeth was a thin orange hair-tie, one of her own, he was sure. How he longed to replace the tie with his lips. His eyes travelled down to the curve of her bare back and was instantly thankful that Nami was not afraid to wear revealing clothing. Her shoulders were pulled tight as she tugged Shiloh's hair. Sanji wanted nothing more than to feel the smoothness of her skin against his hands. Swallowing a sigh, he took a slow drag of his cigarette and released the smoke, trying to quell the emotional craving in his heart.

Pulling the tie from her mouth, Nami quickly secured the ponytail with a satisfied, "There." She stretched her arm over Shiloh's shoulder and put out her hand. "Bandana." Sanji couldn't resist a small chuckle as Shiloh took the white cloth from her pocket and handed it to Nami. The taller woman wrapped it around the base of the ponytail she had made, tying it into a knot at the top. Nami smiled and put her hands on her hips, admiring her work. "Done."

The cook gave a quick glance to the swordsman at his side. There was no smile on Zoro's lips, but Sanji spotted it his eye. "So you hate that she fails at pushing her hair back, huh?" He teased.

"There's also that," Zoro replied with another gesture towards the redhead. The absence of actual annoyance in his voice was not lost on Sanji. The cook had just turned to see what Zoro was talking about when his nose nearly began bleeding. Shiloh had grabbed Nami around the middle in a big hug, the underside of the navigator's breasts pushed up against the shorter girl's upper chest.

"Thanks, Nami!"

"Alright, alright, you're welcome. Now let go." As Shiloh did so, Nami smiled and put a hand on the contortionist's head. "You hug hard for such a small thing."

The redhead smiled suggestively and raised a brow. "That's because my hugs are full of love."

Nami laughed in response. "You might need to start spending a little less time with Sanji."

Zoro sent him a smug smirk, but the cook simply rolled his eyes in return. "You're a hug hater?"

The green haired man shook his head. "No, idiot."

"What's the problem, then?"

"She's too touchy."

That, Sanji could agree with. The number of times he had nearly kicked Shiloh's face in surprise after a sudden hug from behind was rivaled only by the countless times Zoro had nearly cut her head off after she crept up on him and poked him in the sides. It seemed like the only ones on the ship who seemed to truly enjoy the surprise affection were Luffy, Brook, and Robin. But perhaps that wasn't entirely true.

The cook expertly blew out a perfect ring of smoke. "Do you hate that because she's like that with you, or because she's like that with everyone?" He saw Zoro's brows furrow and could practically hear the gears turning in the swordsman's head. When he received no answer, he stated very clearly, "You're hopeless." Another smoke ring floated through the air. "What else?"

"She smells."

Sanji nearly swallowed his cigarette as he snorted. "She does not."

"She does." At the look Sanji gave him, Zoro clarified, "Like a damn flower."

"How the hell is that a bad thing?"

"Because, stupid cook," Zoro said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world, "It's so strong that it sticks to everything. Haven't you noticed that the entire ship smells like a garden because of her?"

He couldn't believe someone could be so stupid. "Marimo, the ship can't smell like anything because it's exposed to open air."

Zoro's eyebrow twitched. "What kind of cook has a shitty sense of smell?"

Sanji scowled and kicked at the swordsman's shin. "I do not have a shitty sense of smell. You're nose is just broken, stupid swordsman." The cook would never admit it, but he actually knew what Zoro was talking about, but for him, no matter where he happened to be on the ship it was the scent of tangerines and vanilla that met his nostrils. However, Sanji wasn't a clueless idiot like Zoro. He knew his nose had singled out that specific smell out from the others because it held a special place in his heart. Sanji brought a hand to his forehead after Zoro half-heartedly nudged him in the side with the handle of one of his swords in retaliation to his kick. How could someone be so clueless about their own feelings? Oh right, he thought to himself. Because that person was Zoro.

"Whatever," he said with a sigh. "I still don't get how that's bad."

Zoro hesitated before looking away. "I didn't say it was bad…" He kicked at the railing absently with the toe of his boot. "I just don't like it. Or I don't like that it's all over the place. Or…shit, I don't know. Shut up, curly-brow!"

It was pointless to mention that he hadn't said a word. He let smoke fill his lungs before exhaling it out. "Anything else?"

He was confused when Zoro kept his eyes downcast. "The contortion thing."

"What about the contortion th-" The rest of the question died on his lips as Zoro looked up to meet his gaze. A slight blush had crept up Zoro's cheeks, his lips turned down in an almost embarrassed frown. Sanji returned with one of his own and turned away, taking a huge drag of his cigarette. Zoro was the most asexual person he knew, second only to Luffy. The fact that Zoro had taken notice of the way the redhead's body moved to the point of claiming he disliked it was not only shocking, but it was also incredibly strange.

Sanji cleared his throat, ready to tell Zoro that that was something he definitely did not need to know, when the swordsman's voice broke in, "It's too distracting."

Sanji tried to think of an occasion where Zoro had taken notice of any woman and couldn't come up with a single time. His eye was drawn to beautiful Nami who was still down below, yelling at Luffy for being so insistent on going through the weed-growing cloud instead of around it. He was thankful Zoro showed no interest in Nami or Robin, but he couldn't help but wonder why. "You're around Nami and Robin all the time," he said slowly. "Aren't they distracting in their lovely lack of dress?"

As he expected, the answer was an instant and simple, "No."

Sanji saw the opportunity glow like a tiny lightning bug and grabbed hold of it. "So why is it different with Shy?"

Zoro scratched his head in frustration. "Damned if I know. All I know is the last time she did one of those back-ends—"

"Backbends."

A glare was directed at him but the swordsman kept going, "Backbends, I nearly dropped a weight on my foot." The swordsman crossed his arms. "No one should be allowed to move like that unless they have Devil Fruit powers."

Sanji knew it was risky to say, but he did it anyway, wondering how long the swordsman's patience with him was going to last. "I wonder what else a woman could do with a backbend…or her back end." He found himself staring at Nami's barely skirt-covered behind, heat rising to his face. What he wouldn't give to get a hand full of her… tangerines.

When no reply from Zoro came, Sanji glanced at him from the corner of his eye and realized that the swordsman's face had also reddened. They shared a moment of incredibly awkward eye contact before both men looked pointedly away. Sanji tried to shoo the naughty images of Nami from his mind for the moment being by concentrating on making more smoke rings. In the back of his mind he wondered if this sort of conversation with Zoro fell under the category of "male bonding." A sort of unspoken agreement passed between them as they both looked back down to the slightly less weedy deck where Luffy was throwing uprooted leaves at a screaming Usopp, a furious Nami, and a giggling Shiloh. They would never speak of this incredibly awkward moment again.

"Um," he began with a nod towards Shiloh. "Anything else?"

Zoro sent him a flat stare and for a moment Sanji felt like the other man was declaring sharing time over, but then Zoro averted his gaze and stated, "She's small."

The blonde's visible eye widened. He hadn't expected that. "That has got to be the most shallow thing I've ever heard you say." He ran a hand through his hair, utterly floored that something so trivial could even matter to the swordsman.

"I didn't say it was bad," Zoro repeated sternly. "Don't put words in my mouth. It's just…"

"Just?" He prompted with a raised brow.

To his surprise, Zoro let out an exasperated growl and threw an arm out, gesturing towards the redhead. "Just look at her, crappy cook! I could put her in my damn pocket and there'd still be room for Chopper!"

It was stupid. In fact, it was one of the stupidest things he had ever heard. Sanji couldn't help it; he burst out laughing. Expecting Zoro to start swinging at him any second for his mirth, he straightened up after wiping his eyes and braced himself, despite the chuckles still escaping him. When no attack came, he looked towards the swordsman and was surprised to see him still standing, watching the group down below, a small smile on his face.

Sanji took a breath. "C'mon, you know it's kind of cute."

Zoro shook his head slowly. "Your words, not mine."

The cook was a little surprised by the sudden good mood between them. He was even more surprised with how compliant Zoro was being. Whether the green haired man realized it or not, talking about Shiloh, even the "bad" qualities, changed his demeanor. Sanji smiled to himself. Perhaps it really did help Zoro to simply say the words out loud, even if it was to someone who fought with him all the time. The cook gave himself an imaginary pat on the back for being such a good person.

His smile widened when he came to the realization that Zoro had not said a single bad thing about the redhead. "Marimo, you're so stupid."

"And you're a crappy, perverted cook."

Sanji shook his head. "No, seriously, cabbage-head. You're as dense as they come. I asked you a question and you didn't even answer." When the only response was a confused scowl, he sent the swordsman a toothy grin and said, "I asked you what you don't like about her."

Zoro opened his mouth, as if to reply or come back with some snappy retort, but he shut it almost immediately. A spark of realization lit his eyes before fury darkened them. Sanji couldn't resist succumbing into another laughing fit as Zoro's face reddened to the point where it reached the tips of his ears. When his complexion returned to normal, an angry tick formed on Zoro's forehead and he yelled, "I'm gonna kill you, you asshole!"

Rather than fight, Sanji ran down the stairs, his laughter ringing throughout the deck. Zoro was hot on his heels but the second he realized that the cook was running towards none other than Shiloh, he instantly changed directions and disappeared into the men's quarters, slamming the door behind him.

Sanji stopped when he reached the redhead and put a hand on her shoulder. She turned and greeted him with a small wave, a spiky weed in her other hand. "Shy," he said with a sneaky smile. "What kind of perfume do you use?"

Shiloh gave him a slightly confused look before replying, "I use a magnolia and jasmine blossom body spray."

He nodded and said, "Wear it all the time."

From behind the short redhead, Nami mouthed, "What are you doing?"

Sanji sent her a wink and waved his hand, as if to say, "Don't worry. I got this."

Shiloh gave him a confused look. "Okay…?"

"And do as many backbends as you can when Zoro's around."

"Uh…"

"And play with your hair when he's looking at you."

"Huh?"

"And hell, try jumping in his pocket."

That made the contortionist laugh. "What? What are you talking about? He'd kill me."

Sanji gave her a knowing smile and leaned down to be eye level. Nami would lecture him for interfering he was sure, but he knew once he proved to her that this was a good idea, she'd be on board and praise him for his genius. Maybe he'd even get a kiss.

Shiloh's eyes were wide and bright as he said in a low steady voice directly into her ear, "No, trust me. He won't."

A/N

Okay, this one was super fun to write. Thanks again for all the reviews, faves, and follows! You guys are the best :) Next couple chapters might start getting a little serious.