Chapter 3: Break

"We must embrace pain and burn it as fuel for our journey" – Kenji Miyazawa

Song: Shelter You Through- Andrew Duhon

I awoke to the feeling that someone was watching me. Opening my eyes just enough to peek through my lashes, I set my gaze to the doorway, finding the source of my disturbance. There was George, standing by the open door with his hand on the knob, unaware that I could see him. Taking a chance, I opened my eyes to get a better look at him.

His grief had caused him to look as if he had aged well past his actual twenty- three years. His red hair was nearly as long as his brother Bill's had been when we were children and judging by the amount of facial hair, he hadn't shaved in a while either. What really caught my attention, however, were his eyes. They no longer held that familiar twinkle that came with his jokester personality. His eyes were dull, lifeless almost, and gave away all of the pain he was feeling. If it were even possible, my hunk sank even further in my chest seeing George this way.

It didn't even register to me that the reason why I could get a good look at his eyes was because he was looking right at me. George was looking right at me and it looked as if he were contemplating what he should do. Seeming to have made his decision, he turned and left the room, heading down the hallway back to his own room. I jumped out of bed and followed after him to stumble after him.

"George…" I called to him but I was only answered by the slamming of his door.

My stomach grumbled and I let out a sigh; I wasn't going to make any progress on an empty stomach. I made my way to the main area of the flat after briefly stopping and grabbing my wand from my room, and surveyed the flat. The thick heavy curtains made the flat dark and gloomy which couldn't have been helping George's mood. With a flick of my wand, the curtains opened with force and all the dust that had collected on them created a billowing cloud.

Now that there was some light in the main area, I could see empty bottles of various types of alcohol littering every surface. Much of the furniture had been turned over and torn over the years. In the kitchen, many of the cupboard doors had been ripped off. It was very apparent that Molly hadn't been to visit her son in a while because I knew she wouldn't have let his flat fall become messy like this. A couple waves of my wand had the place cleaned up and everything repaired to its original condition. Once again I could see the Gryffindor red walls the twins and I had painted the summer they opened their shop.

Back in the kitchen, I opened up the fridge that I had persuaded the twins to buy to see if there was any food in the flat. Thankfully, it was well stocked, thanks to Ron who was probably the only person who could walk into the flat in the state it had been in and not bother to clean it up. I pulled out some bacon and eggs and proceeded to make breakfast for two. When the food was done, I plated the food before placing it on the small kitchen table. After pouring two glasses of orange juice, I went down the hall to knock on George's door.

"George?" I called as I knocked on the door. "George, I made breakfast, come and eat." I continued when he didn't answer. I waited a few more moments to see if I could hear any movement within the room. When there was no sign of George emerging, I made my way back to the table.

After placing a warming charm on the second plate, I sat down to eat my food as I contemplated the day ahead of me. I figured that at one point I would need to stop by the Burrow to see everyone. After all, if I was going to be here, I might as well be here for everyone. When I had finished eating, I cleaned my plate and put it away before heading back down the hallway.

"George, I'm jumping in the shower. I left breakfast on the table for you. You really should eat." I called through his door but this time I did not wait for a reply.

Before going back to my room, I stopped by the bathroom to give it a quick clean. In my room, I stripped out of my clothing and wrapped a towel around myself before heading back to the bathroom with my shower things. Closing and locking the door, I dropped my towel and started the water. Once it was warm enough, I stepped under and let the water work its magic. Closing my eyes, I enjoyed the feel of the warm water caressing my body. After I was done washing, I stepped out of the shower and wrapped the towel around me.

When I had just stepped out of the bathroom door, I collided with something hard causing me to stumble backwards. The mass moved to keep me from falling but instead, ended up removing my towel as I fell to the ground, naked as the day I was born. George stood in front of me with a hand outstretched to help me up as he averted his eyes.

"I… I… sorry." He stuttered out, handing me back my towel and turning around.

"It's okay, George." I said, grabbing his left arm after I had secured my towel around me.

"Emma…" he said, turning around to face me and I took a step closer, thinking we were finally getting somewhere.

"Yes, George?"

"Let go of my arm."

"George, please…" I plead.

"I said, let me go."

"George…"

"WHAT PART OF LET ME GO DON'T YOU GET? JUST GO AWAY AND LEAVE ME ALONE." He yelled at me as he shook my grip from his arm and then proceeded to pin me to the wall, his hand around my throat, making is hard for me to breathe. There was a cold and angry look on his face; it was so full of hatred.

"You're hurting me…" I spoke with difficulty, trying to claw at his hand as a tear slipped down my cheek, more in sorrow than in fear.

As the realization of what he was doing hit him, his face softened and his grip relaxed as I slid to the floor gasping for air. I looked up at his face and I could see him beginning to panic. He took off down the hall back to his room and, as his habit was, slammed the door.

The tears flowed freely from my eyes now as I leaned back against the wall. I couldn't bear to see George in such a state. I took a deep breath to steady myself as I stood up and walked to my room. After getting dressed, I sat on my bed and ran my hands over my face.

Something came over me and I suddenly found myself pushing the door to George's room open. Without knocking, I barged into his room and found him face down on his bed. When he heard the door bang against the wall, he shot up in his bed and looked straight at me.

"Get out." He stated.

"No." I said firmly, unsure of where this sudden confidence came from.

"Leave." He stated again, a little bit louder.

"No."

"I said leave!" he shouted at me, standing up and bringing his face within inches of mine.

"And I said no." I returned, unintimidated.

At this, George let out a roar of frustration as he turned away from me.

"It has been five years since Fred died. You of all people should know that he would hate seeing you in this state." I spoke.

"Well it's a good thing he isn't here then, isn't it?" he responded bitterly as he turned to face me.

"Stop acting like a child George!" I chastised him.

"Stop acting like a CHILD?" In case you have forgotten Emma, FRED IS GONE, as you sokindly pointed out to me just a second ago. I think I have a reason to 'act like a child'"

"No one else in your family is behaving in this manner!" I countered.

"NO ONE ELSE LOST THEIR TWIN!" he yelled, his voice at full volume.

"You're right, George. They didn't lose a twin, but Ginny... she lost one of her biggest role models; Ron... he lost a brother he also looked up to; Percy... even though he is a right git, lost part of the duo that actually kept him on his toes; Charlie... lost his orchard quidditch team beater; Bill... one of his many siblings he watched born. THEY ALL LOST A BROTHER! What about your mum and dad... did you ever stop to even think that they lost a son? A SON! And me..." I had to stop for a moment as my breath caught in my throat choking back tears, "... I lost my fiancé, and one of my best friends." I turned away from George for a moment to wipe the tears from my eyes. "Don't you dare think that you were the only one to lose someone that day, George." I said venomously as I turned around to face him again.

George's anger broke and tears began to stream down his face.

My anger subsided and I fell to my knees in front of him, taking his hands in mine.

"George, everyone is concerned about you. They miss you... I miss you." I let out a slight chuckle as I said the next part, "Even Ron was so worried he stopped shoveling his face full of food and came to find me in Scotland." The corners of George's mouth twitched as if he was trying to smile. I placed my hand on Georges tear stained cheek and wiped away some of the tears that fell. "No one is saying that you can't grieve, George, but I think I can speak for us all when I say that we don't want you tearing yourself apart like this anymore."

I stood up and kissed the top of George's head before setting my forehead against his. I felt George tremble and he tried to calm himself before he spoke again.

"It should have been me that died that night, Emma."

"George, don't say that..."

"No listen to me Emma!" he said, cutting me off. "That night, we were fighting together, and I asked him if he had seen you, and he said he saw you run up the stairs. After we had finished the duel we were in, he took off to go find another one but, for once, I didn't go with him… I had to make sure you were okay. That's when I found you... when those men were... Emma, they..." he couldn't finish as the tears overtook him again.

"Shhh. It's okay George... I know" I soothed as I held his head to my chest. I had tried to forget what those Death Eaters had tried to do to me that night, but in truth, I still had nightmares about it from time to time.

"Emma, that's not even the worst part..." he began again once he had collected himself enough, "I am a bad person Emma..."

"George, you are not a bad person. What makes you think that?" I asked?

George looked me in the eyes and then did the last thing I expected him to do...

...he kissed me.