Ch.10
He was pulled from his sleep by the sound of screaming. High pitched screams of fear. Screams that had been his alarm clock for the last three days; and he was standing up before his mind even registered what he was doing.
He knew what it was, who it was. It was Beth. She'd been waking him up the same way ever since she had disappeared into the woods with Maggie three days ago. He didn't know where they had went, but they had been gone for almost an hour before they had returned.
Rubbing his eyes briefly to clear his vision, he stood up and walked over to Beth, who was buried under a mound of blankets. Her screaming was getting louder, and by now, nearly everyone was awake. He reached an arm out and gently shook her by the shoulder. She needed to wake up before the noise drew the attention of any nearby walkers.
"Beth," He mumbled. "Hey, wake up girl."
Beth's screams died down and she opened her eyes, her breathing ragged. She looked at him for a second before slowly sitting up, covering her face with her hands in an attempt to calm herself down. He could see sweat on her forehead and chest, though he didn't know if it was from all of the blankets Maggie had forced on her or because of the fear caused by whatever dream she had just had.
Daryl stayed by her side. He knew what was coming next. And as if on cue, Beth shot up from her sitting position on the ground and darted to the nearest bush. Daryl followed close behind her, wrapping an arm around her waist to support her as she vomited the contents of her stomach onto the ground near her feet, his other hand lightly holding her hair out of her face.
This had been his morning routine for the last three days. Beth's screams waking him up, waking everyone up. Beth running to a bush or a tree to vomit. Beth pushing him away from her and going back to her spot. But today was different, Beth wasn't pushing him away, she was allowing him to hold her, and one look at her told him why. She was exhausted. She hadn't gotten a good night sleep in days, and he knew that she had nothing left in her stomach.
"Damn girl, you sick or somethin'? You've been throwin' up your dinner the last three mornings," he said quietly, keeping his arm wrapped tightly around her waist.
Beth didn't answer him, and after a few more moments, when he was sure that she wasn't going to vomit again, he loosened his grip on her and let her hair fall back into her face.
"How about you go back and sit down," he suggested softly. "I'll warm you up a can of soup, maybe you'll be able to keep that down."
Beth nodded, turning her head slightly to look at him. Her eyes, which had dark circles beneath them, were pooling with tears. She grabbed the arm that was around her waist and pushed it away from her, allowing her the freedom to move away from him. She looked at him for a moment before walking past him, back to her spot.
Daryl watched her walk away, sighing to himself. She still wasn't talking to him, but at least she was allowing him to help her. He realized now that he had made a mistake by asking what had happened after she had fled the funeral home. He knew that he shouldn't have pushed her, but he needed to know, the unknown was killing him, eating at him.
Daryl walked up behind Beth, reaching down and grabbing one of the blankets and lightly wrapping it around her shoulders. She didn't move, didn't even acknowledge that he was there. He shook his head and walked over to the fire, taking his bag with him.
"We got any soup left?" he mumbled, glancing at Rick when he couldn't find any in his bag.
"Don't know. Why?"
"Beth. She needs to eat, figured that she might be able to keep soup down."
Rick nodded and began to rummage through his bag, casting an occasional glance at Beth.
"Has she talked to you yet, or is she still giving you the silent treatment?"
"Silent treatment."
"Just give her some time," Rick said, tossing him a can of soup. "She's been through a lot. I've seen things like this, back before the dead started walking the earth. Girls becoming victims of some horrible crime. Sometimes it took them awhile to talk about it, sometimes they shut themselves out to everyone else…it's just a way of healing."
Daryl nodded, using his knife to cut the top off of the can. He placed the can over the fire, beginning to warm it up. Looking over at Beth, he saw that Carol was by her, kneeling down in front of her, talking to her. He was too far away to hear what they were talking about, but Beth didn't look happy, she seemed a little distressed and annoyed. When Carol stood up and walked to the fire, sitting down next to him, he saw why; Carol had given Judith to Beth.
"Think that's a good idea?" Daryl asked, taking a quick look over at Carol.
Carol shrugged her shoulders. "I dunno," Carol said with a sigh. "I'm just trying to ease her back into the group, y'know? Make her feel like she's still needed, like we don't see her any differently."
Daryl nodded. "How'd you get her to take Judith? She hasn't even looked at the kid since we found her…"
"I sort of forced Judith on her. Told her that I had a few things to do."
Daryl sighed, shaking his head.
"Judith's missed her," Carol said sadly.
"I know that she has, girl's practically been Judith's mom."
"She got sick again this morning, didn't she?" Carol asked after a few minutes of silence.
"Yeah."
"Almost seems like the morning sickness I got when I was pregnant with Sophia," Carol said, glancing over at Beth.
"It ain't no morning sickness," Daryl said curtly. "Gotta be pregnant to have morning sickness, and the girl ain't pregnant."
It couldn't be morning sickness. Beth wasn't pregnant. She couldn't be pregnant.
"It's just what it seems like," Carol said quietly. "But it could be something different…food poisoning, dehydration, anything really."
"You think she's pregnant?" Daryl asked, looking over at Carol.
"I didn't say that, Daryl. All I said is that it seems like morning sickness."
"Do you think she's pregnant?"
Carol sighed sadly. "I don't know. W-we don't know what happened to her, Daryl, but I'm pretty sure we're all thinking the same thing. The ligature marks on her wrists, all the cuts and bruises she had, the way she flinches away from people sometimes, the dreams. Anything could've happened to her. But honestly, why would someone kidnap a teenage girl in the middle of an apocalypse? People were bad before all of this started, Daryl, but since the dead started walking they've gotten even worse. You don't have to think too long to come up with a reason why a man would take a young woman…" Carol trailed off.
Daryl kept his gaze on the fire, processing everything that Carol was saying. She was right. It didn't take him long to come up with a reason why someone would take Beth. The bruises, the marks, the cuts, the dreams, her fear…he knew what it all added up to, but he still couldn't bring himself to accept it. He wouldn't allow himself to believe that a man had forced himself on Beth until Beth came out and told him that that was what happened.
Daryl's gaze immediately shifted from the fire and to Beth when Judith's loud wails began to echo throughout the camp. He was half expecting Beth to start rocking Judith in her arms. He was expecting that the soft singing voice that had filled the parlor room at funeral home would slowly waft over to him. Hell, he wanted those things to happen. He wanted to see that gentleness that he associated with Beth, wanted to see the smile that had always crossed her lips at the prison whenever she looked down at the child in her arms. But none of that happened.
Instead, Beth just sat there, completely emotionless. Judith was resting in her arms, her little hands and feet kicking and sprawling because she was upset. Beth didn't even look down at the baby when Judith began to tug at Beth's long, blond hair.
"Think you should go get Judith now…"
"I know," Carol said, standing up. "It was worth a try," she mumbled, walking away and over to Beth.
Daryl returned his attention to the can of soup. He listened as Judith's cries began to die down until the baby was completely silent. After a few more minutes, he removed the can from the fire and walked over to Beth, carefully handing it to her.
"Careful, it's hot," he said quietly, sitting down beside her.
Beth nodded and took the spoon that Daryl was holding out to her.
"Sorry for askin' ya' to talk about it. I shouldn'tve done that…"
Beth shrugged her shoulders, taking a small bite of the soup, scrunching her face up when she realized that the soup was still too hot to eat.
Daryl sighed, starting to become frustrated. All he wanted was for Beth to talk to him, to say something, anything, if she was just yelling at him. He couldn't take the silence.
"Look, Beth…you don't gotta tell me what happened; hell, you don't have to tell anyone what happened. If you want to keep what happened to you to yourself, go right ahead and do that, that's your choice, your decision. But don't ignore people, don't shut me out," he practically begged.
He kept looking at her, but she wasn't looking at him. She brought the spoon to her lips and lightly blew, causing the steam from the hot soup to blow away from her face.
"I don't care if you're not the same girl that was at the funeral home, Beth. I don't care how much you've changed. We've all changed. I'm not the same man that I was before, I've changed, fuck, I changed the most because of you…after that moonshine cabin, the fight, burning it down…" he trailed off, his mind flooding with memories of that day.
He had been so mean to her, cruel even. He had been trying to take away her hope that their family was alive just because he had no hope himself. He hadn't realized how determined the girl was until she left him and went off on her own. And sure, he had thought about just letting her go, not following her, because at the time he hated the idea of being stuck with the blond girl who liked to sing and seemed to have no sense of reality. But he had been wrong. Beth was set more in reality than any other person in the group. She had a hope that kept her going, that ended up keeping him going. If it hadn't been for her changing his mind, her determination to make him see that there is still good in the world and that it doesn't help to have hope, he didn't think he would have made it this far.
His shook his head slightly, pushing the memories away when he saw Beth set the can of soup down. She started folding up her blankets and putting them in one of her bags. He noticed that she still had the black bag that he had kept for her, but he also knew that she hadn't looked at it.
"You changed for the better, I've changed for the worse," she said quietly, standing up and slinging the black bag on her shoulder.
She reached down to grab her bag stuffed full of blankets and other supplies, but he grabbed it before she could. Her eyes immediately met his, and he held her stare.
"I got it. Take your soup, eat it as we walk," he murmured, standing up. "And I don't believe that you've changed for the worse…if you have, I haven't seen it yet," he said, walking away from her.
They had been walking for hours, taking the occasional break for someone to run off behind a tree to go to the bathroom or for someone to stop and stretch out the cramps in their legs. He was walking next to Michonne, Maggie and Beth behind him, bringing up the rear of the group. Michonne was talking to him, but he was only half paying attention, his focus was on the hushed whispers of the two Greene sisters behind him.
They had been whispering to each other on and off all day. Their voices were low, low enough so that only they could make out what the other was saying. Whatever it was they were talking about, they didn't want anyone else to know, it was meant to be a secret. Occasionally the whispers would become heated, as if they were arguing about something, and then suddenly the argument would come to a complete halt, causing Daryl to look over his shoulder at them. Beth would be looking down, her bottom lip quivering despite her attempt to stop it by biting on it lightly. Maggie would be looking at her sister worriedly, a sadness in her eyes that he had only ever seen twice before; the first time was back at the farm, after Beth had tried to end her life, the second time was after Beth had run onto that road and collapsed in front of them.
The group had to stop when Judith began to cry. She was hungry and needed to be fed. Thankfully they had managed to find baby food and Judith was now starting to get her first teeth, which meant that pretty soon she would be able to eat solid foods. Rick helped Carol feed the baby, while everyone else took the time to relax.
Daryl leaned up against one of the abandoned cars on the road, his eyes fixated on Maggie and Beth. Maggie was trying to get Beth to eat a granola bar, but Beth kept handing it back to Maggie. After a few minutes, Beth let out a loud sigh of exasperation, rolling her eyes before walking away from Maggie. Something was going on between the two of them.
After Judith had been fed and was situated in the makeshift-carrying device Carol had assembled, the group started walking again. Beth was now walking towards the head of the group, next to Abraham. Daryl figured that this was Beth's way of getting away from Maggie for a little while and allowed her the chance to be completely quiet, consumed in her own thoughts. Daryl on the other hand, was walking next to Maggie.
"Everything okay?" he asked quietly.
"No, not really," she whispered, her voice wavering.
"Is it Beth?"
"Yeah…"
"Wanna talk about it?"
Maggie sighed, nodding. "I want to, but I can't."
"Whaddya mean?"
"I shouldn't be talking about this. I've already said too much."
Daryl had no idea what that was supposed to mean. All that Maggie had said was that something was going on with Beth, but she hadn't said what it was. So Daryl spent the rest of the afternoon contemplating what could be wrong. Maybe Beth had confided in Maggie, told her what had happened, or maybe Beth was just refusing to listen to Maggie. He didn't know.
"I'mma go hunt," Daryl muttered after they had made camp for the night. "Need some protein."
He grabbed his bow and trekked further into the woods, away from their campsite. He was tired of eating canned fruits and vegetables, he wanted some meat, they all needed the meat. Thankfully the woods were teaming with life, and within an hour he had managed to kill eight squirrels and two rabbits.
By the time he made it back to camp, nearly everyone was sleeping. Beth was huddled in her pile of blankets, Maggie sitting beside her, gently stroking Beth's hair in a comforting manner. The only other person awake besides him and Maggie was Glenn, who was taking first watch.
Daryl tossed the skinned animals down next to the fire. Carol or someone else would cook the meat when they woke up, most likely when they were on watch. He set his crossbow down and laid down on the ground, using his bag as a pillow.
Before he knew it he was being woken up by the familiar screams. He didn't remember falling asleep, and by the look of the dark sky with the moon still in it, he hadn't been sleeping for more than a few hours. Groaning as he stood up, he walked over to Beth.
"Beth. It's just a dream. You gotta wake up," he whispered softly, nudging Beth's shoulder with his hand.
He looked around the camp to see that everyone else was starting to wake up. Rosita and Tara were on watch, their attention immediately being drawn to Beth, who was still screaming. Her hands were grasping the blankets tightly.
"Beth. Hey. Snap out of it, girl," he said a little louder, shaking her a little more forcefully this time.
Beth's eyes shot open, a breathless gasp escaping her lips. She stood up quickly, throwing the blankets off of her, and ran to a bush a few feet away. Daryl followed on her heels, not hesitating to wrap his arm around her and hold her hair back as she vomited.
When she had finished spilling the contents of her stomach onto the forest floor, Daryl gently forced her away from the mess and coaxed her to sit on the ground. She didn't protest, and she didn't move away from him when he sat down beside her, but he could tell that she wasn't thrilled with his company.
Daryl titled his head back so that he was looking up at the sky. Everything was beginning to make sense; the pieces were beginning to come together. Carol had to be right. Beth getting sick every morning, it had to be morning sickness. Maggie and Beth's whispering; Maggie knew. He needed to ask her, needed to know, but there was a part of him that didn't want to know.
Daryl looked down at his hands, absentmindedly picking at the dirt underneath his nails. He turned and looked at Beth, opening his mouth to say something, but then immediately stopping himself. He didn't know what to say. He didn't know how to ask her. He looked back to his hands when Beth wiped her mouth with the back of her hand.
"Are you pregnant?" he asked, his voice barely audible even to his own ears, turning his head slightly to look at her.
Daryl saw the way her expression changed from one of annoyance to one devoid of emotion. She slowly turned and looked at him, and the first signs of her reaction were flashing across her face. She looked hurt, betrayed. And he saw the tears brimming in her eyes, the ones she was fighting to hold back.
"Sh-she told you?" Beth asked quietly, her voice breaking.
"Who?"
"M-Maggie told you. She promised me that she wouldn't tell anyone," Beth said, and Daryl knew that she was talking more to herself than to him.
"I-it's true, isn't it? You're pregnant…"
When Beth didn't answer him, he took her silence as a yes. He looked away from her and to his hands, tightly clenching them into fists. Regret, anger, guilt was swelling up inside of him.
"Dammit, Beth," he said quietly. "I-I'm so sorry. This is all my fault."
Author's Note: Beth's been having dreams. Beth's been getting sick. Daryl's been putting the pieces together. And BOOM! He thinks he's found the answer. And now he's blaming himself. But, just remember, Beth hasn't admitted that she's pregnant, but she also hasn't denied it. This chapter is from Daryl's POV, so this is just his conclusion of what's going on, but we still don't have a definitive answer as to whether to not Beth is pregnant.
Also, just a fair warning, the next few chapters are going to be a tidal wave of emotions. I am really excited for them! I have them all planned out, and now I just have to write them. But I must warn you, updates may be a little slow because midterms are just around the corner, which means a lot of papers, tests, and homework.
Please leave a review and tell me what you think!