Ch.11

"Are you pregnant?" Daryl asked.

Beth's stomach dropped at his words. She had barely been able to hear him; his voice so low and quiet that she would've missed his question had the woods not have been so silent. And all she could feel at the moment was betrayal.

"Sh-she told you?" she asked, turning slightly so that she was looking at Daryl.

"Who?" Daryl asked confusedly.

"M-Maggie told you. She promised me that she wouldn't tell anyone," and Beth wasn't sure whether she was saying this to Daryl or to herself.

She had known that this was going to happen. She knew the moment that Maggie had promised her that she wouldn't tell anyone about her possible pregnancy that the promise would be broken. She had been preparing herself for it, but there had been a part of her that was holding onto the hope that Maggie would be able to keep her secret.

"I-it's true, isn't it? You're pregnant…"

And Beth didn't answer him. She was too caught up in her own thoughts and emotions to form an answer. Even if she had been able to answer him, she wouldn't know what to say, because she didn't know the answer.

"Dammit, Beth. I-I'm so sorry. This is all my fault."

And she knew that she should've said something to him, but she didn't. Instead, she quickly stood up and walked back to the camp, leaving Daryl sitting on the forest floor. She could feel the tears swelling in her eyes, but she pushed them back. She knew what she had to do. She only had one option now.

She knelt down on her pile of blankets and began throwing her few belongings into her bag. She took one of the blankets and folded it up, stuffing it into the bag along with everything else. She was vaguely aware of the crunching of leaves as Daryl walked past her.

"Beth, what're you doing?" Maggie asked softly, walking towards her.

"You told him?" Beth asked, throwing a few more things into her bag without really even seeing what they were.

"Told who what?"
"Told Daryl, Maggie!" Beth said loudly. "Told him that I could be pregnant!"

She glanced up and saw that everyone was looking at her. Now instead of just her, Maggie, and Daryl knowing, everyone knew.

"She didn't tell me, Beth," Daryl mumbled.

"Then how the hell did you find out?!"

"I told him that you seemed like you were having morning sickness," Carol spoke up, taking a small step forward.

Beth quickly stood up, slinging her backpack onto her back. She adjusted the straps before she started walking.

"Where are you going?" Maggie asked worriedly.

"I'm leaving."

"Beth. Don't."

"I thought I could trust you, Maggie! I-I told you, and I thought that I could trust you!"

"I didn't tell anyone, Beth. I kept your secret."

Beth turned and looked at Maggie. "Then how does he know?"

"Carol," Daryl said. "We were just talkin', Beth, just tryin' to figure out why you were so sick. Maggie didn't tell me anything."

"I'm going."

"Beth. Stop. Let's just…lets just talk," Maggie said, trying to reason with Beth, desperately trying to convince her to stay.

"There's nothing to talk about," Beth said, turning and starting to walk again.

"You know that's not true. You know that there's a lot you haven't told me. And maybe talking about it will help."

Beth stopped walking again, turning to face her sister. "Oh, and like you really even care," she said sarcastically.

"Of course I care!" Maggie cried. "You're my sister."

Beth heard the desperation in Maggie's voice, the way her voice wavered. She knew that Maggie cared; she knew that Maggie would always care about her, but only one image was flashing in her mind.

"I saw the signs you left, telling Glenn to go to Terminus," Beth said, her voice eerily calm despite the intense mixture of emotions she was feeling.

"Beth," Maggie said, just above a whisper.

"Did you even worry about me, or did you just assume that I was dead?"

"Beth, it's not like that."

"Well guess what Maggie, I wasn't dead. I was just goin' through hell, and all you could care about was getting back to him!"

"Beth, I'm sorry. I…I…I'm so sorry, Beth. I didn't think you were dead. I should have been looking for you; I should have put your name on those signs. But I didn't, and I'm sorry. But you need to talk about what happened to you."

"You do not get to tell me what I need to do. You lost that right the moment those men took me and I escaped."

"Beth…"

"I'm leaving," she said, adjusting the straps on her backpack again.

"No you're not," Maggie said hurriedly, taking a step towards Beth.

Beth ignored Maggie and started walking away.

"Beth, get back here!"

Beth stopped walking and turned to look at Maggie.

"Just talk to me," Maggie begged, her voice soft and gentle. "Talk to me. You can talk to me. You can trust me."

"What do you want me to say, Maggie?! You want me to come out and tell everyone that I could be pregnant? Huh? Is that what you want? Well guess what everyone, I could pregnant!" she yelled.

"Beth," Maggie said quietly, shaking her head slightly.

"Do you want to hear what happened? That's what you all want, isn't it? You've all just been waiting for the answers to your questions. Fine. The car drove up and took me back to a cabin. I woke up in a dark room, hands tied, eyes blindfolded. And they didn't do anything the first few days. No," Beth said, laughing sadly. "They just made me sit there, let me wonder what was going to happen to me. Didn't take me long to find out. I think it was the fourth night when it first happened," Beth said, nodding her head. "Connor was the first to do it. Walked into that room like what he was about to do wasn't a big deal. Untied my hands, took off the blindfold. And I tried to run, I tried to get away, but I couldn't. It was so easy for him to hold me down, to take off my clothes. And I can still hear him laughing when I started to cry. And it went on for what seemed like forever, and I kept fighting, and he eventually stopped. And I thought it was done, thought that it was over, but I was wrong. Because you know what, Maggie, there were ten other men lined up outside the door, just waiting to have their turn with me. And they did, they all got their turn with me. Every single night.

"So while you were snuggling up next to Glenn keeping warm, I was locked in a room waiting for the next man to come in and use me," Beth said, her voice shaking heavily, her breathing stuttered.

Nobody said anything. The only noises that could be heard were the rustling of leaves in the light night wind and the crickets chirping. And the realization hit Beth that she had just told everyone everything. Everyone knew what had happened to her.

"I'm leaving," Beth mumbled, turning and starting to walk away.

She had to leave. She didn't have a choice. They knew now. They knew what had happened. They knew what she had let happen to her. And if they didn't believe that she had changed before, if they hadn't seen the darkness within her, they would now, and Beth didn't want to be there to see their reactions.

As she walked away, she heard Maggie beginning to cry, her strangled sobs echoing throughout the woods. She heard the hushed whispers of Glenn trying to comfort her. And she heard the gruff, gravelly voice of Daryl. He was talking to Maggie, his voice heated, but he wasn't mad at Maggie, and Beth couldn't make out what he was saying.

Beth broke through the tree line and stepped out onto the road. She was vaguely aware of the sound of footsteps behind her. Someone was following her, but she wasn't stopping to find out who it was.

"Beth. Stop," Daryl's soft, rough voice called from behind her.

But Beth ignored him.

"Beth, you can't…you can't just leave. You can't leave Maggie. Glenn. Judith. We tried so hard to get you back, we're still tryin' to get you back. You can't just leave," he said, taking a deep breath before he continued. "You can't leave me, Beth," he said, his voice breaking.

Her steps faltered for a moment at Daryl's words, but she continued to walk. She needed to leave, to go, to leave this family behind. She could leave them. She had to leave them. She was doing what was best for all of them. She wasn't a part of that family anymore. She had been, back at the prison, before she was taken. But now she could never be a part of that family. She was too far gone, they just hadn't seen that yet.

"Beth, ya' can't leave me, girl. I-I can't lose you again. I can't take losing you again. You can run, but I'm just gonna follow you."

Beth completely ignored him and kept walking, quickening her pace in an attempt to lose Daryl. But he was keeping his word, he was still following her, quickening his pace just to keep up with Beth.

"What do I have to say, Beth? What do I have to do to convince you to come back?"

Beth sighed in aggravation, stopping and turning to look at him, throwing her hands in the air angrily. "What the hell do I have to do to make you stop following me?" she yelled. "What do I have to do to make you see that I'm protecting you, protecting everyone?"

"You ain't protecting no one by running off like this!"

"You just don't understand, do you? None of you understand! You're all too blind to see the truth?"

"The hell you talkin' 'bout?"

"I'm not the girl that you all want back, Daryl. I'm not the girl that you and Maggie and Rick and Carol and everyone else thinks that I am, the girl that you all remember."

"It don't matter if you're that girl or not."

"Yes it does!" Beth said, tilting her head up to look at the sky. "It does matter," she whispered. "It matters."

"No it don't."

Beth looked at Daryl again. "Everyone changes, I get that. But me, what I've changed into…I-I don't even recognize myself, Daryl. And maybe you guys haven't seen that person yet, not the full extent of it, of who I've become, but you will. Just give it time, because I can't hold it back forever, Daryl. The cracks are already forming. Fuck, you saw some of it today, and back at that building we were at."

Beth stopped talking, waiting for Daryl to say something, but he didn't, he just stood there looking at her, waiting for her to continue.

"That hope that you clung to, that you saw in me…it's not there anymore, Daryl. It's gone. Disappeared forever. And when you found me on that road, I was ready to die. I was ready to lay there and wait for a walker to get me or to starve, or whatever other horrible death could come to me. You know why? Because this," Beth said, motioning around her with her arms. "It's all so pointless. Yeah, I saw hope in the world even after I saw my dad get killed. I still had the hope that we would find everyone else. And when I woke up in that room, I had the hope that you would find me…I knew that you would find me. But now…now I don't have hope for anything. Sure, maybe you and your family have a chance in this world, a chance to have hope and live happy lives. But me? It's just better that I'm not with you guys."

"Beth, that's not true. We all need you, whether all your hope is gone or not. I don't really care. We still need you. And it's not my family, it's our family. You're a part of it no matter what."

Beth clenched her eyes shut tightly, beginning to grow more frustrated with every word that Daryl was saying.

"I'm leaving, Daryl, and you can't stop me."

"I ain't letting you leave. You wouldn't let me give up after the prison, so I ain't letting you leave."

"You don't have a choice," Beth said venomously.

"Beth, do not turn around and start walking!" Daryl yelled when Beth started to turn her body slightly.

Beth began to walk again.

"Goddammit, Greene! Stop!" he bellowed angrily.

"What do you want from me, Daryl? Why won't you just let me leave?" Beth yelled, turning around again to look at him.

Daryl just looked at her.

Beth looked down and then back at Daryl, taking her backpack off and dropping it on the ground. "Oh, sorry. Here, you can have this back," Beth said angrily.

She started to unbutton the buttons of her shirt, his shirt. She hadn't taken it off since he had put it on her. It was soft and warm, and smelt like him, and his scent was comforting to her when she would wake up from one of her nightmares. But it was his shirt, and she was leaving; leaving him, leaving everyone behind.

She undid the last button and threw the shirt at him. And she knew in that moment what she had just done. She was standing there in front of him with nothing on but a bra, jeans, and shoes. That shirt had been hiding the things that Beth never wanted anyone to see. And she saw the look on his face as he took in her appearance. Anger. He was angry, but not at her. He was angry at what he was seeing.

Blood was smeared across her torso. Blood that hadn't been washed off yet because Daryl hadn't dared wash anything other than her arms and face when he had found her. But it wasn't just blood. The blood covering her skin was mixed with the telltale sign of what had happened to her, the substance of her captors' release.

And beneath the blood and semen there was an array of bruises. Bruises that had just begun to turn yellow. Bruises that showed where her captors had grabbed her too roughly, where they had kicked her when she didn't comply with their orders. And there were bite marks, marks from when her captors found their release and muffled their cries of pleasure into her flesh.

But the worse part was the scars. All of the other things would go away. The blood and semen could be washed away, the bruises would fade. But the scars, they were there forever, constant reminders of what had happened to her. They littered her skin, some big, others small. Before she had been taken, the only scar she had was the one on her wrist, the one that had been the result of her actions. But these scars weren't like that; these scars were because of what they had done to her.

She watched Daryl's face, his eyes focused on the long, jagged cuts across her lower stomach. Some of them weren't healed yet, some of them weren't even scabbed over, some of them were already scars. She knew that he knew what they were from. They were from a knife, a knife that had been held against her skin to keep her compliant as a man forced himself on her.

She didn't know how long they stood there like that. Beth was completely frozen by Daryl's stare. His eyes were roaming her body, taking in every single last cut, bruise, scar, mark, taking in the blood and other bodily fluids dried to her skin. And she was fighting back tears.

Daryl took a few steps forward, closing the short distance between them, and roughly grabbed her arm, starting to pull her behind him. "We're goin' back and getting ya' cleaned up."

"Let go of me!" Beth yelled, trying to pull her arm free.

His grip on her arm tightened and Beth began to panic. Suddenly it wasn't Daryl who was dragging her; it wasn't Daryl who had ahold of her. It was Martin. It was Connor. It was all of the men who had touched her, who had taken her away from Daryl. And she did the only thing she could think of.

Her mind and body kicked into survival mode, the mode she had been in for so long, the mode she had to be in to survive what had happened to her. Before she even knew what she was doing, she had her hand on her knife, unsheathing it in one quick motion. She swung the knife blindly, her tears blurring her vision as they began to stream down her face.

She heard a grunt, and the hand around her arm immediately loosened, giving her the opportunity to pull it free of the person's grasp. She took a step back, trying to calm herself down, trying to make sense of what was happening.

"Beth," someone called out to her softly.

The voice was familiar. It was soft and gentle. It wasn't the voice of any of her captor's. It wasn't menacing. This person didn't want to hurt her. It was Daryl.

"Beth, girl, I ain't gonna hurt you."

Beth's vision cleared enough for her to make out Daryl standing in front of her, his hands raised in the air slightly to show her that he meant no harm. Blood was trailing down his arm. It wasn't a lot, but it was enough for her to know that she had hurt him.

Daryl took a small step towards her, keeping his hands raised. "I ain't gonna hurt you, Beth. Okay?" he asked calmly. "I-I just need to get you back to our camp. Alright?" he asked as he reached out and grabbed her arm again, this time more gently.

Beth's hand clutched tightly around her knife, her breath catching in her throat. But she let him pull her back, leaving his shirt and her bag lying on the deserted road. If she would have been thinking clearly, she would have protested, she would have at least made him stop so that she could put a shirt on, but she didn't. And she regretted it.

As soon as they got back to camp, everyone turned to look at them, and as soon as they saw Beth, none of their eyes left her. They were all looking at her appearance, at the injuries they hadn't seen, at the skin that had remained unwashed. And it was silent, nobody was talking, everyone too in shock to form any words.

Beth didn't fight Daryl when he placed his hands on her shoulders, forcing her to sit down near the fire. She didn't fight him when he warmed up water and began to wash her abdomen, but his hands didn't stray any further than that.

"Maggie?" Beth heard him call. "C-can you get the rest of her?" he asked quietly, trying to keep his voice from shaking.

Maggie slowly walked over and knelt down next to Beth, taking the wet cloth from Daryl. She looked at Beth for a long moment, hesitating before she brought the cloth back to the Beth's skin, cleaning her chest and lower stomach. Beth was staring at the fire, but she saw the tears rolling down Maggie's cheeks.

After Maggie finished cleaning the rest of her body, she waved Bob over. Beth knew that she had wounds that weren't done healing yet. She knew that she had bruises that were still black and blue. But she didn't want anyone to look at her, to touch her.

"Beth," Bob said gently. "I just need to get you cleaned up, take a look at your injuries," he said, sitting down in front of her.

"No," Beth said bluntly.

"Beth, you have some injuries that are worrisome. Just let me take a quick look at them, make sure they're healing properly."

"No," Beth said again, tearing her gaze away from the fire and looking at Bob. "Nobody is touching me anymore. You want to clean me up? Fine. But I'm done being touched. Just get me damn shirt."

"We don't want anything to get infected, Beth."

"Get me a fucking shirt," Beth said, doing her best to stay calm.

Maggie sighed and stood up, walking over to her bag and pulling out one of her sweatshirts. She walked back over to Beth and handed it to her. Beth quickly put it on, her body immediately relaxing as her body was covered, hiding the scars and other injuries.

Everyone was still quiet. Nobody had said anything since they had gotten back. But they were staring, their eyes glued to Beth, and Beth could feel the intensity of their stares. Sure, everyone was quiet, but the silence and the staring were drowning her, the unasked questions were hanging heavily in the air.

"You all want to know what happened?" she asked angrily.

"Beth. Stop," Maggie said quietly.

"No. You're all so curious. You've all seen what I look like, what I'm like now. Might as well get the whole story. So come on, gather 'round the fire and we can share stories. Maggie, you can tell us all about your determination to find Glenn. And Daryl, why don't you tell them about that night I got taken…I'd like to hear what happened after that. And I'll tell you all what happened to me. It will be like the old times, Maggie, when we sat around outside by the bonfire and told ghost stories. The only difference will be that these horror stories are real."

"Beth! Stop," Maggie growled through clenched teeth.

And Beth broke in that moment, the weight of everything crashing down at her all at once. The tears flooded her eyes and spilled down her face, her body shook with her sobs. And Maggie was at her side in an instant, pulling her close to her, holding her tightly as she rocked her back and forth, trying to calm her.

Author's Note: So a lot happens in this chapter. Beth immediately assumes that Maggie told Daryl about her possible pregnancy, and it's sort of like the last straw for Beth. She had been talked into staying once before, but now she feels as if she needs to leave, she feels like she doesn't have a choice. But Maggie isn't willing to let her go, she can't lose her sister again. And that just opens a whole new box of worms...the signs Maggie left for Glenn. If you remember in Ch.1, Beth comes across one of the signs, but she doesn't really have any reaction to it. But now we get to see how she really felt about it, how much it affected her.

Another huge thing that happened in this chapter was Daryl following her and Beth getting so angry and frustrated that she takes off her shirt (which is really Daryl's shirt), revealing all of the injuries she had been hiding. The shirt was, in a way, covering her horror story, but now it's completely out in the open. Seeing this causes Daryl to become angry, and he reacts in a way that he probably shouldn't have, grabbing Beth roughly, causing Beth to act out and draw her knife on him. And then she goes back to the camp, and now everyone has seen what she's been hiding.

I am super excited for Ch.12...it's going to be from Daryl's POV! And then Ch.13 will most likely be from Maggie's POV, because I feel that Maggie's perspective is extremely important.

Please leave a review and let me know what you think!