Ch.12
He saw the way Maggie's eyes scanned the bodies in the train car, looking for one face, one familiar mop of blond hair that Daryl knew wasn't there. He wasn't sure how long they had been there, it had to have been at least a day, and she still hadn't asked about Beth. But he didn't miss the way her eyes would search around in the dark, as if maybe she had missed it, as if her eyes had overlooked the blond and she was hiding in the corner somewhere.
"She ain't here," he mumbled quietly from where he was sitting, his back pressed firmly against the hard wall of the train car.
Maggie's eyes stopped their search and immediately looked at him, asking him if he had said something. He knew that he had to tell her, but he had been avoiding this moment, the moment when everyone would find out what had happened. So far, Rick was the only one who knew, and even then, he had only told Rick half of the truth. All Rick knew was that Beth was gone.
"She ain't here," he repeated gruffly.
"I-I know she isn't," Maggie said quietly. "Did anyone see her? Does anyone know if she made it out of the prison?"
And he knew that Rick was looking at him now, he could feel his eyes on him, the intensity of his stare almost unbearable. Daryl kept his eyes glued to the ground. He had been reliving that night since it had happened. Running out of the funeral home, seeing Beth's bag on the ground, the car screeching away, kicking up dust in its wake. And he had ran, he had ran as fast as he could until he couldn't run anymore. He had lost her. He had failed her.
"Daryl," Rick said, his voice echoing off the walls.
"You saw her?" Maggie asked quickly, sitting up a little straighter. "Did she make it out?"
"Yeah. She made it," Daryl replied vaguely.
"Where is she? Who did she get out with?"
"Got out with me," he said, keeping his eyes glued to the ground.
"Sh-she got out with you?" Maggie whispered. "If she got out with you, then where is she?" she asked, her voice wavering.
Everyone was looking at him now. They were all waiting for his answer. He knew what they were all thinking. They were all expecting him to say that she became another victim of this world, that she kept surviving until she couldn't, until a walker finally got her.
"Don't know where she is."
"What do you mean you don't know where she is?" Maggie asked, getting to her feet. "If you got out with her, then you have to know!"
"It means that I don't know. Alright? I don't know where she is."
"Is she…is she dead?"
Daryl shook his head no.
"Then what happened to her?"
Daryl took a shaky breath. His eyes were burning with the tears that he was trying to hold back. Sure, he had been through hell and back. He had dealt with an abusive father, he had lived a shitty life, he had lost his brother, but none of those things hurt as much as losing Beth had hurt.
The girl had annoyed the shit out of him at first. Her hope, her belief that the rest of their family had made it out alive was the last thing that he had wanted to deal with after what had happened at the prison. Her persistence to look for them seemed like a waste of time to him, but he had known that he couldn't just let her go out and search for them by herself.
And then she had gotten the bright idea to have her first drink. And he had seen her determination. He had seen the fight in her. And that's when things had started to change. But the fight at the moonshine cabin, when he had broken down, that was the last straw, that had burned the last bridge that was keeping him away from her, the last thing that was distancing him from her. And after that things had been good, until he had lost her.
"She was taken."
"Taken? What do you mean taken?" Maggie asked.
"Taken. Stolen. Kidnapped. Whatever the hell you wanna call it," he answered gruffly, his voice gravelly.
He heard Maggie's feet shuffle against the rough floor as she took a step backwards. She was comprehending what he had just told her. And he was waiting for her to punch him, to shove him against the wall and yell at him.
"Tell me what happened. I-I need you tell me what happened," she said softly, walking over and sitting down next to him.
"You really wanna know everything?" he muttered quietly, still looking at the ground.
"Everything. From the moment you two got out of the prison. Tell me. I-I need to know."
Daryl didn't say anything for a moment, nervously picking at the dirt and blood underneath his finger nails. He didn't know where to start, what to tell her. He turned his head, finally moving his eyes from the floor and glancing at Maggie before hesitantly starting to speak.
"She ran out of the prison, saw me. We got out together. Ran. Made camp at night. Damn girl was determined to find everyone, said that we couldn't be the only survivors. We found some tracks and she made me follow them.
"We didn't say much to each other. It was just surviving. That's all we were doing, surviving. Living one day to the next. I'd hunt, she'd set up the next campsite, make the fire. We barely said anythin' to each other…I barely said anything to her."
Daryl took a moment to glance around the dim train car. Everyone had taken a few steps closer to him. They were all listening, all wondering what had happened. They were all waiting for him to continue. So he did.
"Then one day she got fed up with it. She was tired of the running and the silence…tired of me. Decided she wanted to have her first drink," he said with a chuckle, glancing at Maggie out of the corner of his eyes. "Didn't know your sister could be so stubborn and persistent. "
Maggie smiled weakly, nodding her head. "Yeah…she has her moments," she whispered sadly.
"She kept running away from me, practically forced me to follow her. We ended up finding a country club. Fucking place was full of dead people…think they committed suicide or something. We eventually made it to the bar. Only drink left was Peach Schnapps. Told her that I wasn't gonna let her first drink be Peach Schnapps. If she's gonna get drunk, she might as well do it right," he chuckled.
"I took her to the cabin that we found," he said, nodding towards Michonne. "The one in the woods."
"The moonshiner's cabin? Michonne asked, surprised.
"Yeah. Got her a glass and filled it with moonshine. Except she wanted to play some game…I Never or something like that," he said, shaking his head. "So we played, but I was drunk, and the game made me mad. I went off on her, said things that I shouldn'tve said. Dragged her outside, yelled at her, told her that she would never see any of you guys again…but she yelled right back at me. The girl knew exactly what to say.
"By the time we both calmed down it was dark. We were both drunk still. We went and sat out on the porch, we talked. She told me about her family…Maggie, Glenn, Hershel…" he trailed off.
"What happened next?" Maggie asked.
"We burnt the place down. Used all of the moonshine and set the place on fire. It was her idea, and I went along with it. And things were good between us after that. I started teaching her how to track and how to use m crossbow. But she ended up stepping in a trap, messed up her ankle.
"We found a funeral home. The place was clean, stocked with food. We needed someplace to stay. Beth…she couldn't walk on her ankle. She needed to rest, give it time to heal. We were planning on staying there. But there was this dog. It had come to the door earlier in the day. We were sitting down eating dinner when we heard the cans rattling. Thought it was the dog…I let my guard down.
"Opened the door to a herd of walkers. I yelled for Beth, yelled for her to run. She didn't want to leave me. I told her to grab her bag, said that I would meet her at the road…promised her that I would meet her at the road. I lead the walkers downstairs, gave Beth time to get out.
"When I made it out to the road…" he trailed off, looking down and then looking at Maggie. "When I made it out to the road…she wasn't there. Her bag was on the ground. And there was a car. I chased it, Maggie. Chased the damn thing all night and into the next morning…"
The train car was completely silent. He kept his eyes on Maggie, saw the tears brimming there. Her bottom lip quivered the slightest before she forced it to stop.
"Black car. White cross. I tried to follow it. I tried…."
"But she's alive?"
"She's alive."
Daryl watched as Beth started to unbutton the shirt she was wearing, his shirt that she was wearing. He shook his head. She was acting like he had never seen her act before. He couldn't understand why she wanted to leave so badly. If she was pregnant, they would deal with it. If she was changed, they would accept it.
But his stomach dropped when the shirt fell to the ground, revealing Beth's bare torso. He knew that he shouldn't have looked, that he should have looked away, but he couldn't stop his eyes from roaming over her. It wasn't out of lust, either, it was horror.
Blood was smeared across every inch of her. Her blood. And he could see the dried, white substance mixed in with it, and it made his stomach churn. And he saw the bite marks littering the crook of her shoulder and neck and the snow-white flesh that was peeking out of her bra. And the bruises; deep blue and purple, some yellow, painted on her ribcage, her breasts, her hips.
But his eyes stopped on her lower stomach. They stopped on the straight lines marring her skin. The deep cuts. He knew what they were from. He knew that they were from the blade of a knife.
He closed his eyes, trying to calm the anger that was swelling inside of him, but all he could see was a bare, naked Beth lying on the ground. He saw a man over top of her, resting between her legs, a knife pressed firmly against her skin to keep her still. He saw him moving, could hear his moans mixed with her whimpers. Saw his teeth sink into her flesh as he found his release. And he knew now that the nightmare he had been hoping Beth hadn't been in was real, he knew that even his worse scenario hadn't compared to what Beth had actually gone through.
He reopened his eyes and quickly walked towards her. Without thinking, he grabbed her arm, jerking her forward slightly as he began to walk. He was mad, furious. Anger was fueling his actions. Anger at the man who had done this to Beth, at the man who had forced himself on her and left her feeling empty. But as much as he was angry at the man who had hurt Beth, he was even more angry at himself for letting Beth go, for losing her, for not finding her in time.
"We're goin' back and getting ya' cleaned up," he muttered angrily, his hand tightening around her arm.
"Let go of me!" Beth yelled.
He could hear the panic in her voice and could feel her struggling to get away from him, but he ignored it. His head was in a fog, his actions clouded by his anger. But then suddenly there was a sharp pain as the blade of a knife slid across his upper arm and he grunted in pain, immediately loosening his grip on Beth and turning to look at her.
Her eyes were wide, her breathing ragged. She took a step away from him, tears swelling in her eyes. He hands were shaking, and he swore that he could see her heartbeat on her neck.
"Beth," he said softly, trying to calm her down. "Beth, girl, I ain't gonna hurt you," he said gently, raising his hands in the air, showing her that he had no weapons to harm her with.
"I ain't gonna hurt you, Beth. Okay?" he asked softly, taking a step towards her, reaching a hand out and gently taking ahold of her arm again. "I-I just need to get you back to our camp. Alright?"
He saw the way Beth's hand tightened around the handle of her knife. She was still scared, but she let him pull her back to camp. He was aware of the blood running down his arm, but he ignored it. His focus was on Beth. He needed to get her cleaned up.
He didn't realize until they made it back and everyone was staring at them that Beth was still in just her bra and jeans, nothing was covering her; nothing was keeping the others from seeing the horror story painted on her naked torso. Placing his hands on her shoulders, he gently forced her to sit.
He grabbed a pot and dumped bottles after bottle of water into it. He knew that they didn't have an endless supply of water, but he didn't care right now. He wanted to get Beth cleaned, to get the memories of what had happened to her off of her.
Grabbing a rag, he turned back to Beth and began to wipe the blood and other bodily fluids from her. He wiped her stomach, back, shoulders, neck, but he refused to let his hands stray to her chest or lower stomach. He refused to let his hands touch where those men had violated her. He didn't want to scare her, he didn't want her to associate him with those men.
"Maggie?" he called out, glancing at the eldest Greene daughter who had slowly made her way over to them when she had seen Beth's appearance. "C-can you get the rest of her?" he asked, his voice shaking despite his attempt to hide it.
Maggie reached out a shaking hand and took the bloody rag from him. He didn't leave Beth's side as Maggie dragged the rag over Beth's skin. He turned his head as Maggie hesitantly unclasped Beth's bra, allowing her to fully clean Beth's body.
Out of the corner of his eye, he could see the tears rolling down Maggie's cheeks, reflecting the light from the fire. He could hear Beth's quiet whimpers when the rag ran over a cut. He could hear the leaves shuffling under Beth as she backed away when Maggie's hands reached the spots of her body that had been the object of abuse for those men.
Maggie nudged his arm after a few minutes, letting him know that it was safe for him to look. The blood and semen were gone, erased from Beth's body, but it only made the cuts and bruises and scars stand out even more. And he wasn't surprised when Bob walked over carrying a first aid kit. He also wasn't surprised when Beth refused to let Bob look at her, demanding that somebody give her a shirt to put on.
He didn't know how long everyone just stood there or sat there, there eyes glued to Beth. They were all looking at her, some as if she were a wounded animal, others with looks of complete horror on their faces, and some people's faces were blank, not wanting to believe what they had seen. He was still looking at her, sitting a few feet from her by the fire, and he knew that his face was one of the ones that was blank, still not wanting to believe what had happened to her, but not being able to deny it after having seen the proof on her body.
"You all want to hear what happened?" Beth asked angrily, shaking Daryl from his thoughts.
"Beth. Stop," Maggie sighed.
"No. You're all so curious. You've all seen what I look like, what I'm like now. Might as well get the whole story. So come on, gather 'round the fire and we can share stories. Maggie, you can tell us all about your determination to find Glenn. And Daryl, why don't you tell them about that night I got taken…I'd like to hear what happened after that," she said, turning to look at Daryl.
Daryl's eyes met hers for the briefest second. He saw the anger and the hurt in her. He saw the tears that were starting to build. He knew that she was about to break, that she was about to shatter.
"And I'll tell you all what happened to me," she continued. "It will be like the old times, Maggie, when we sat around outside by the bonfire and told ghost stories. The only difference will be that these horror stories are real."
"Beth! Stop," Maggie growled through clenched teeth.
And Daryl had been right, Beth had broken. A strangled sob escaped her throat as the tears began to fall. Her body was shaking with her sobs, and Maggie was at her side faster than he had ever seen somebody move before. Her arms wrapped around Beth, pulling her close, holding her tightly, rocking her back and forth. And all Daryl could think was that this was all his fault.
Author's Note: So there's Ch.12. I really like this chapter because we get a Daryl flashback of him telling Maggie and everyone else what happened. And yes, I realize that the last half of the chapter is basically the ending of the last chapter, but I thought that it was important to get Daryl's POV on it. Him seeing what Beth has been hiding, what she looks like, it sort of makes reality come crashing down on him...it forces him to accept that all of the scenarios he had been coming up with in his head are nothing compared to what really happened...it forces him to accept that Beth has been through something horrible. And this realization brings on a lot of guilt for him. To him, it's almost as if this is all his fault. He's viewing things as: if I would have gotten out of the funeral home time, if I would have kept looking instead of sitting down in the middle of the road, I would have been able to find Beth and save her from what she went through. He is blaming himself for what happened to him. And he is furious with the men who hurt her.
Also, I am extremely excited for the next chapter. So far all of the chapters have either been form Beth's POV or Daryl's POV, but the next chapter will be from Maggie's POV. I think that it is extremely important to get Maggie's point of view on things; I mean, after all, Beth is her little sister, and something like this would greatly affect Maggie. There will be something big in this chapter, something that will give us a clue as to what Beth went through. We won't get much information on it, and some of my reader's may overlook it and not think that much of it, but it will definitely be a clue as to how bad Beth had it. It will further be explained in Ch.14, which will be from Beth's POV. So I hope that you are all looking forward to it!
Please leave a review and tell me what you think!