Ch.13

Maggie slowly made her way to Beth's room, stopping in front of the closed door. It had been two days since Beth's suicide attempt, and Beth hadn't exited her room. Maggie remembered the sinking feeling in her gut she had felt when she had seen the blood dripping from Beth's wrist. And she had cringed when she had been the one to clean up the mess in Beth's bathroom, her heart breaking when she had picked up the bloody shard of glass Beth had used.

"Hey," Maggie said softly, pushing the door open and stepping into the room. "Are you up for a visitor?"

"Do I have a choice?" Beth asked quietly, turning her head so that she was looking at Maggie.

Maggie closed the door and walked over to Beth's bed, sitting down on the edge of it. She didn't miss the way Beth retracted her wrist and hid it under the blankets so that Maggie couldn't see the bandage.

"No, not really," Maggie said, offering Beth a weak smile as she brushed back a loose strand of hair on Beth's forehead.

Beth slowly sat up in her bed, being sure to keep her wrist hidden under the blankets.

"How're you feeling?"

"Tired."

Maggie nodded slightly. "Do you need anything?"

"No…"

"When was the last time you had somethin' to eat?"

"Daddy brought me up food a little bit ago, made sure that I ate it all, too."

Maggie didn't say anything, letting a heavy silence hang in the air, waiting for Beth to say more

"He says that he's not mad at me," Beth said after a few moments. "He said that he's not mad, he's just disappointed," Beth said sadly. "I didn't…I didn't mean to disappoint him."

"I know that you didn't."

"I just…it felt like the right thing to do, you know. I just wanted it to end. I know that it was wrong…what I did was wrong and I won't do it again. But at the time it felt like the right thing to do, the only thing to do. I'm so—"

"Hey, hey," Maggie said quietly, stopping Beth from finishing what she was going to say. She reached a hand out and gently grabbed Beth's chin, bringing Beth's face to look Maggie directly in the eyes. "You don't have to explain yourself to me, okay? You did what you did, but now it's in the past…we just gotta move on. I know that you're not gonna do that again. I believe you."

Beth looked at Maggie, her eyes brimming with tears, before slowly nodding. Maggie frowned slightly when she saw the way Beth was biting her bottom lip in an attempt to keep it from trembling. Slowly letting go of Beth's chin, Maggie placed her hand back in her lap, keeping her eyes on Beth.

"There's something we need to talk about."

Beth didn't say anything, but kept her eyes on Maggie, sniffling quietly.

"Remember what you told me before? How you said all those things about the farm bein' overrun and us having nobody to protect us?"

Beth nodded a little, opening her mouth to speak, but Maggie quickly cut her off.

"I'm not going to tell you that it's not going to happen, I'm not going to say that the farm isn't going to be overrun. I want to tell you that we'll be able to stay here, that we'll be safe here, but I can't promise you that. I want to, but I can't. There's a good chance that we'll have to leave the farm, and I want you to be prepared for that."

Maggie stopped for a moment, keeping her eyes locked on Beth, wanting to make sure that she was listening to her. She gave Beth a moment to let her words sink in before she continued.

"But I can promise you that no matter what happens, you're going to be fine, you're going to be safe. I'm not going to let anybody or anything hurt you. Okay? I promise you that nothing will hurt you."

"She finally calmed down," Maggie said sadly, leaning against a tree.

Beth was still sitting by the fire, a blanket wrapped loosely around her to help her stay warm. Nobody was by her. Everyone had come to a mutual, unspoken agreement that they would give Beth her space right now.

Maggie had stayed with her and held her as Beth had sobbed, burying her face into Maggie's chest in an attempt to muffle the loud noises escaping her throat. And in turn, Maggie had rubbed small circles on Beth's back, holding her close and rocking them back and forth in an attempt to calm Beth down, something she and Beth's mother had done when Beth was a little girl and would wake up from a nightmare or would get hurt. The only difference now was that Beth's nightmare was real and the injuries told a story.

"Can I ask you something?" Maggie asked, casting a glance over at Bob, who was standing next to her, watching Beth closely.

"Yeah," Bob replied quietly.

"Do you think she's pregnant?"

Bob slowly turned his head to look at Maggie, shrugging his shoulders slightly. "I don't know, Maggie. I don't really know all that much about what happened to her. I can't just look at her and tell."

Maggie frowned and nodded, looking back towards Beth. She desperately wanted to know if Beth was pregnant. She needed to know. She needed to know what they were dealing with.

Bob sighed softly, still looking at Maggie. "Do you know when her last period was?"

This immediately brought Maggie's attention back to Bob. "Um, no. I mean, yeah, but I don't have an exact date. She said that she's late, that she hasn't had it since the prison…"

Maggie knew that she should feel uncomfortable having this conversation, that she should feel uncomfortable talking about such a personal matter concerning her sister to a man. But she wasn't. If Bob could give her answers, she'd tell him anything.

Bob hung his head for a moment before looking back at Maggie. "That's been almost three months, Maggie…everything at the prison happened almost three months ago…"

"I know," Maggie whispered shakily.

"Are her periods usually irregular?"

"No," Maggie answered quickly.

She knew the answer to that. She had been responsible for getting all of the feminine care products while they had been at the prison, and because of this, she knew everyone's cycle, including Beth's. Beth had never missed a period, sure, there had been a few times where it had been a few days late, but it had never been this late.

"Maggie," Bob said solemnly. "Given what she's been through…the rape," he said hesitantly, carefully watching Maggie's visible reaction to the word. "The odds are…there's a pretty good chance that she's pregnant."

Maggie knew that her eyes were filled with tears, and she was almost certain that a few had escaped and were now trailing down her face, but she didn't wipe them away. She didn't know if she could deal with Beth being pregnant. She didn't know if Beth could deal with being pregnant. She didn't know what all Beth had been through, but she knew that if she was pregnant the baby would be a constant reminder of her story.

"I could be wrong, though, Maggie. Her period could just be late…sometimes that happens. She's had sex now, and that changes things, messes with hormones, sometimes it throws them off balance. It could be late because of the condition she was in when we found her. She was malnourished, starved, dehydrated, emotionally, physically, and mentally exhausted. Or it could be late because of all the stress she's been under."

Maggie nodded.

"We won't know unless she takes a pregnancy test."

"She already said that she's not going to do that. And I'm not going to force her to…she doesn't need anyone forcing her to do anything right now..."

"Then we're just going to have to wait and see. If she is pregnant, we'll get her what she needs, make sure we find someplace safe for her to rest and relax."

"We'll get her through it," Maggie said doubtfully.

"We will, Maggie. We'll get her through it. Even if she's not pregnant, we'll get her through what she's going through now."

"Yeah, we will," Maggie said quietly, her voice barely audible. "We'll get her through it, we have to."

"Do you think you can try to clean her wounds? Maybe she'll let you. They need to be cleaned. I don't want them to get infected."

"I can try, but I wouldn't count on it. I don't think she wants anyone to see them…"

"I know. Just see if she'll let you," Bob said, handing Maggie the first aid kit. "Make sure you clean them well. If anything looks like it's getting infected, let me know."

"I will," Maggie mumbled, starting to walk towards Beth.

Beth didn't look at Maggie when she knelt down beside her, and Maggie took the moment to watch Beth's face. Her expression was blank, emotionless, and Maggie could tell that she was exhausted. Dark circles were under her eyes and she was pale, paler than usual. Beth had the blanket wrapped tightly around her as her eyes remained glued to the fire.

"Bethy?" Maggie whispered.

Beth glanced at Maggie out of the corner of her eyes before looking back to the fire, which was now starting to die.

"Bethy, we need to clean your wounds. Will you let me clean your wounds?"

Beth shook her head no, the movement barely noticeable.

"I know that you don't want me to, but we need to…you don't want anythin' to get infected," Maggie said softly, brushing a loose strand of hair out of Beth's eyes.

Beth remained silent.

"It's just gonna be you and me…nobody else is gonna watch. Nobody else is going to see anything, I promise. See, look around, nobody's looking at us."

Beth looked at Maggie for a moment before looking around at their make-shift camp. Nobody was looking at them. Everyone was busy doing their own things. Rick and Carl were playing with Judith. Daryl was skinning a squirrel, his full attention focused on the task at hand, and Maggie could tell that something was eating at him, and she had a pretty good idea that it had to do with Beth.

"See…nobody's watchin' us, nobody's gonna see. It's just you and me right now. Okay?"

Beth looked at Maggie again and slowly nodded her head.

"Let's get this off you," Maggie said, smiling weakly, setting down the first aid kit and reaching out and unwrapping the blanket from around Beth.

She waited a moment before she gently grabbed one of Beth's arms, slowly helping Beth take her shirt off. Once the shirt was removed, she place it next to her, making sure that it was close enough for Beth to reach if she suddenly panicked. She looked at Beth, examining all of the different scars and cuts and bruises, trying to decide where to start first, eventually deciding to start with Beth's back and shoulders.

She considered talking to Beth, thought about trying to start a conversation to get Beth to relax and forget about what Maggie was doing, forget about the memories that Maggie knew were racing through Beth's mind. But she didn't talk; she didn't make a noise, because she couldn't. She couldn't form any other thoughts in her head other than images that were in front of her: the bite marks on Beth's shoulders, the long jagged scars on her back.

Once she was sure that she had thoroughly cleaned the cuts on her back and shoulders, Maggie moved to Beth's front. Her eyes immediately zeroed in on the teeth marks just peeking out of the top of Beth's bra. They weren't cuts, they were scars, scars that wouldn't go away, scars that would mark Beth's body forever. And the cuts on her stomach, the ones just showing above the top of Beth's jeans, were worse than Maggie had originally thought. Some of them were deep, and Maggie was sure that they probably would have needed stitches if someone had been there to give Beth stitches when she first got the injuries. Others were scabbed over, pink flesh showing through where the scab had started to come off, revealing a fresh scar. But there were some that were healed completely; the puckered skin the only clue that there had been an injury.

Maggie didn't think that she could take anymore of what she was seeing; she didn't think that it could get any worse. She was just finishing up, almost completely done looking over Beth's torso, only having one side left to look at. She carefully nudged Beth's right arm, encouraging her to move it so that Maggie could look at her side. She didn't think twice about the way that Beth hesitated to move, the long pause between the nudge and the actual action of Beth moving her arm should have been a clue. But as soon as Beth's arm was out of the way, and Beth's right side was visible to her, she saw why Beth had hesitated.

Maggie stared at Beth's side, her eyes scanning over the flesh, her stomach sinking. Without realizing what she was doing, Maggie slowly brought her hand to Beth's side, only stopping when her fingertips touched Beth's skin, and she barely even heard the quiet gasp that escaped Beth's lips. Her fingers began to lightly trace over what she was seeing, her eyes brimming with tears.

Beneath her fingertips was a scar, but it wasn't like the others. It wasn't jagged and uneven. It wasn't made from a knife being held against Beth's skin to keep her still, leaving behind a shapeless mark. This one had a shape. The top of the scar went from the bottom of the band of Beth's bra, finally ending at Beth's waist. It was an "A."

Maggie glanced up at Beth and their eyes locked, and Maggie saw in that moment the darkness that Beth had been talking to them about, a darkness that she had never seen in anyone before. And for a moment she didn't recognize the girl in front of her. Eyes that had once been so full of hope and life were now drained; the bright baby blues she had associated with Beth were now replaced with a dull grey. Her eyes were haunted, and Maggie realized that she was afraid to hear the story behind these haunted eyes.

Author's Note: So this chapter was from Maggie's POV, something that we haven't had before...and I think that I really like it. The beginning and the ending are very important. The beginning is a flashback, taking place a few days after Beth's suicide attempt. It addresses pretty much everything that Beth said to Maggie, all of Beth's fears that the farm would be overrun and that they would have nobody to protect them...the fear that Beth would become a walker. Maggie sits down and promises Beth that no matter what happens, she won't let anything happen to Beth...not a walker, not a person, nothing will ever hurt her. But it turns out that that promise is broken..it's a promise that Maggie couldn't keep. Beth was hurt, emotionally, physically, and mentally.

The ending of the chapter is just as important. Maggie's going about cleaning Beth's wounds, and she's just about to finishes up, thinking that Beth's wounds are already bad enough and that they couldn't possibly get worse. But then she looks at Beth's right side and sees that scar...a scar that is in the shape of an "A." And Maggie looks into Beth's eyes, and she sees that darkness, and for Maggie to see that in her little sister says a lot. Maggie, out of everyone in the group, should be able to look at Beth and still see that spark of the girl that she was; but when she looks at Beth, all she sees is a stranger, a girl who isn't even a shell of the person that Maggie knew. It's a pretty big and defining moment for Maggie.

The next chapter will be from Beth's POV. It is going to focus around that scar. We will get to hear how she got it, the story behind it, which will give some insight into Beth's darkness.

Please leave a review and tell me what you think!