A Choice of No Regrets

Pain.

Agonizing and excruciating pain. That was the first feeling she was aware of. The screams echoed in her mind, blinding her of the feeling of her limbs and the new reality. The faces, the impossibly widened eyes as tears streamed down their faces, and the sickening sound of limb torn from limb relentlessly echoed in her mind. But then she thought. Liesel thought about what he had said to her. She thought of the others, depending on her to see another day tomorrow. The demons from her past when she had once been a mindless monster stilled. And she opened her eyes.

She was now taller than the cave itself, and debris continued to crack as she slightly moved in her Titan form. Her blue eyes widened at the sight of Historia's father crawling further away from the cave, the ice falling onto his body. The others… Liesel could not see them. She hoped that they had made it to safety, given of the distance from the cave to the cottage. A surge of energy went through her body, and she used the body weight in her Titan form to immobilize the skeletal Titan. There was a roar from bellow, and Liesel could feel Historia's father struggling to overturn the weight from his body. It took only a moment for the heat from the steam to become too much for Liesel. The steam caused her body to boil and writhe in pain, and a roar of pain escaped from her mouth.

It seems that humans aren't the only ones affected by the steam, Liesel thought ruefully as the burned skin started to heal. Immediately, the skeletal Titan attempted to bite half of her face off, which Liesel barely avoided in time. As the Titan continued to lunge at her as her head bowed, Liesel aimed a punch to his head. The contact caused the Titan to moan but not relent in his battle. The debris were falling around them now, causing blood and muscle to leak out of the wounds as Historia's father continued his relentless pursuit. I have to finish this, the fellow Titan-shifter thought.

Liesel moved her body leftward, causing the skeletal Titan's face to create in indent in the cave. His face was stuck. Gathering the strength in her fists, the dark-haired Titan aimed her fist directly at the Titan's neck. The spurts of blood as the head disconnected from the body landed on Liesel's face, shortly becoming steam as it faded away. The decapitated body was still. The fight had taken more out of her than she thought it would. Her gasps echoed throughout the cave, and her limbs trembled as she walked toward the decapitated body. It…reminds me of when I killed my first with my bare hands.

The Titan-shifter thought as she crouched down towards the body. Except there was more blood, and I didn't feel the rush of adrenaline as I did then. His head wasn't missing either. She wondered vaguely how the others would react if they found out that she had individually killed more humans than she could count. She had told Eren that she was the monster, as he had stated when they first met. I killed to survive, but this feels different. Using her hands, reached into the neck of the fallen Titan and pulled when she felt the human body in her hands. Rod Reiss appeared calm, almost as if he was sleeping. As Liesel held him in her hands, she wondered what had caused him to be the human that he became.

What he said to Historia was true…I know that because for some reason, I remember when the Walls were created, and the king. For another reason unknown to her, Liesel could accurately hear the conversation between Historia and her father as she was fighting with her comrades and Levi. Why? she wondered. Why could I hear his voice even though I was so far away, and remember what had occurred one hundred years ago? I was…a Titan then, wasn't I? Then why could I remember what was said, and hear his voice as if he was right next to me when he was down below? Frustration burned through her mind.

The threat, now in her hands, had been stopped, and now Liesel had to get out of the Titan form that she was in. The young woman tried to ease herself out of the cocoon of tendrils that ensnared her, but the former strength was almost nonexistent as she futilely tried to pull herself away. They were slick against her face and legs, and were hard. I…have to get out of here, she thought breathlessly as the exhaustion from her multiple efforts and the fight before ached inside her. I have to! Suddenly a sound of laughter erupted into the walls. Turning her head as much as she could, Liesel's one blue eye that was not covered by the mass widened. Kenney Ackerman was standing before her as a smirk echoed across his face.

"I have to say, that was very impressive for a brat like you," he stated as Liesel's heart started to race as he eased a gun on his hip. "I thought you were the same as the other brat with green eyes…but it turns out you are so much more interesting." He was tall. The bowler hat he wore only exacerbated his height. His light gray eyes did not hide the hardness that aloofness that Liesel could see. Levi had told them that Kenney was part of the Ackerman family, as he was. Although the young Titan-shifter could only see the vague differences between Levi and Kenney, staring at those eyes reminded her of another. Smirking eyes, as if mocking it all.

"I didn't think he could defeat that fucking idiot so quickly. Well," he said with a bark of laughter, "the damn fool didn't think this through." Liesel observed the older man, her fear slightly abating as he continued to stand among the debris. "I was about to flee with my squad…when I thought it would be more interesting to say." The sneer widened. "And the damn fucking bastard stopped making a fool of himself when you stepped in." The gun was raised, and Liesel could even hear the click as she could see the gun pointed at her head. "But you need to die, I'm afraid," he stated, not feeling sorry at all. "You know too much…of everything. The old fart did tell his cute grandson some things, after all."

I will not die! With a furious pull, Liesel gasped and found herself free from her Titan form, falling on her side as the debris pierced her skin. As agony seeped through her bones as fresh blood spilled on the ice from her side, Liesel ground her teeth and managed to stand half way. "Arschloch," she muttered as blood leaked from her lips.

"I have no idea what the fuck you just said, but that was interesting." I…can't make in time, Liesel thought as she wheezed. Too weak…and the bullet…if anything like what I saw before, is too fast for me to dodge. There was a sound that Liesel had heard many times before in her past, and her bleeding body attempted to avoid the bullet when there was a sudden clang.

"I thought I told you to not fucking die, you stupid brat."

The bullet was embedded in the ice, and the once whole sword was broken into two. The shards fell onto the ground. Liesel's eyes widened at the sight of the man that she had told her name to. "Levi..." she breathed. "What…?"

"It doesn't matter," he snapped. "Everyone is safe, you goddamn martyr. Now, what about you?" His dark gray eyes narrowed. Before Liesel could make a choked response, he barked, "Kenney, what the fuck are you doing here? Killing one of my subordinates?"

Kenney didn't respond for a moment. Then his smirk appeared as he stared at the captain of the Survey Corps. "No hugs, Levi? After such a long absence, I was certain we could…"

"Cut the bullshit," Levi growled. A murderous look appeared in his eyes. "You don't give a fuck about me. Never have." There was a heavy pause. "I know you wouldn't have made such a foolhardy plan as letting that asshole become a Titan, but why kill this brat?"

"She knows things that no one is supposed to know," Kenney stated as he stared at the two Survey Corps members. "Which is why…I come with a proposition. You take this brat back to your little and suicidal group over there, and I take this idiot as well. It is much more… interesting this way."

Levi's eyes narrowed. "You expect me to believe that?" he spat.

Kenney didn't reply. The two watched as the older man managed to grab the fallen Titan-shifter and lifted him on his back. He seemed to relish in Levi's anger and as he managed to climb onto the taller debris. "We will meet again." Then he was gone.

Liesel did not make eyes contact as Levi simply stood among the chaos. Her wounds were healing. The blood was the only evidence suggesting that she had been injured. There was a lengthy pause when suddenly Levi turned toward her, his expression solemn.

"You better be worth it," he rasped. His dark gray eyes captivated her for a moment, as it was strange to her that disappointment or even anger was not in his gaze. It was only a moment later that Liesel felt herself being lifted on his back. An uncharacteristic blush ordained her cheeks.

"Levi, what are you doing?" she gasped.

"There's no way you can carry yourself to even the cottage." He didn't look at her when he spoke. His eyes were firmly ahead on the scenes before him as he walked. "After every transformation, Eren was so weak he often had to have someone support him as he walked. You are no different."

Liesel was silent for a moment as her eyes steadily grew heavy. She felt her head rest against Levi's back, slowly losing herself in exhaustion. "Sleep," she thought him say, softly. "It will do you no good for you to be fucking exhausted when we come back." A hint of a smile echoed on her face at the sound of Levi's cursing. It would feel even stranger if he didn't, and…

"Danke, Levi," she whispered. "Thank you."

She let herself fall into sleep's embrace with a smile on her lips.

What the fuck am I doing? Levi had thought to himself when he could see the bare glimpse of the brat calling herself Liesel as he and his squad retreated into the other direction. For some reason, it seemed that the situation was far away. The sound of the ice falling didn't seem to belong here. He thought of the girl sacrificing herself as an unknown feeling burned within him. No, it wasn't unknown. He had felt it too many times before to not be acquainted with it. "Heichō…" In his dreams, he wondered what would have happened if he had refused Erwin's orders. If he had saved his squad. Perhaps then their bodies wouldn't be forever burned in his mind. How they had loved him.

They saw him a person they trusted most and someone to die for. Especially her. Her copper hair stained with blood with her spine broken with her eyes staring at him. The blood underneath her, soaking the grass. Levi wondered what she would say to him if she knew that he regretted his decision of letting her die. He should have told Erwin, "Fuck you," and saved her before the blow that should never have come came and destroyed the only light he had in his life. Her kisses, her voice, her smile, and her laughter. Petra...I miss you. The memory of the rain caused him to ponder and regret. Isabel and Farlan. How long had it been since those names had passed his lips? Their deaths never drifted away. I made that choice, he thought over and over again it fucking hurt. I cannot go back. And yet…why did it hurt so bad when the rain came down? Why did he forever see the blood being washed away, and the screams?

"Oniichan…" Her blank emerald eyes against his own. The head, red with the pigtails that Levi himself had made for her so long ago when he had found her dying, burned into his memory. He killed them all. He killed all the Titans, but it didn't make a difference. He had cut Farlan from its stomach, but he was already dead. Not one wound on him. The smile of farewell on his face now gone. Levi had made his choice. A choice of regrets. And… In his mind as well, he could see a woman screaming. Her agonized cries and blood that streamed from her wounds and the tears that streamed from her eyes as shouts and violence became too much. His name on her lips…

As he stood in front of Kenney and later felt the brat's cheek against his back, Levi thought about the choices he had made. He had told his squad to move without him, and he didn't miss the confusion and shock as he went back to where he had left Luz – no, Liesel. "You will be under the command of Jean until further notice," he had shouted to them. He didn't miss the growing incredulous stares at his back, or did he care about what Erwin would say. Or the fact that he could very well die for his reckless and selfish actions. I… As he carried the dark-haired Titan-shifter on his back and felt her smile, Levi wondered what he was feeling now. I…have made a choice of no regrets.