Ch.16

Beth woke early in the morning, cramps low in her back. She rolled so that she was lying on her back, the blankets bundled up around her. She knew that Maggie had thrown more blankets on her after she had gone to sleep. It had become her routine; Maggie would try to force Beth to take more blankets, Beth would refuse, but as soon as Beth had fallen asleep, Maggie would lay the blankets on her, insisting that she needed them more than anyone else.

Looking up at the sky, Beth guessed that it couldn't be later than six. The sun was just rising, the sky shades of pink and orange. If it would have been a few months ago, she would have smiled, remembering all of the times that her and Maggie had sat outside at the farm watching the sun as it rose. But now, something as simple as a sunrise seemed so pointless; it was just another reminder of how much she had changed.

Beth rubbed her eyes tiredly before standing up, noticing that everyone else was still asleep, other than Tyreese, who was on watch. She sluggishly started walking out of the camp, only stopping when she heard Tyreese's voice.

"Beth?" he asked quietly, causing her to glance over her shoulder at him.

"What?" she mumbled.

"Where are you going?"

"I have to go to the bathroom."

"You know that Maggie doesn't like you going anywhere by yourself."

"God," Beth said, frustration heavy in her tone. "I'm just going to the damn bathroom. I'm not a toddler. I can go by myself."

She didn't give Tyreese a chance to reply before marching deeper into the woods, away from the camp. She was getting sick of Maggie and everyone else treating her like she was fragile. Sure, they would give her space, but their eyes were always on her.

Beth went behind a tree, glancing around to check for walkers before unzipping her pants and squatting down slightly. The red stain in her underwear caught her attention, and she felt tears come to her eyes as a huge weight was lifted off of her shoulders. She had started her period. She wasn't pregnant. She wasn't carrying any of those men's baby.

Quickly, Beth finished and went back to camp, rummaging around in her bag until she found the box of tampons Maggie had given her a few weeks ago. She grabbed one and headed back into the woods, ignoring the glare Tyreese was giving her, and returned a few minutes later.

"Where were you?" her sister's voice called from a few feet away.

Beth sat down on her pile of blankets, ignoring her sister.

"Beth…I asked you a question," Maggie said, slowly standing up and walking over to her sister, sitting down beside her.

Beth remained quiet, jumping slightly when she felt her sister's hand on her shoulder, squeezing it lightly.

"You okay?" Maggie asked quietly, and Beth knew that se was trying to hide her true concern.

"I'm not pregnant…" Beth whispered.

"You know?"

Beth nodded her head slowly. "I just started."

She felt Maggie's hand hesitate on her shoulder before her arm wrapped around her back, pulling her in for a tight hug, Maggie's chin resting on top of her head. Beth's entire body stiffened, but Maggie didn't loosen her grip.

"That's good, Beth. That's really good," she said quietly.

Beth swallowed hard, nodding her head.

Maggie pressed her lips to the top of Beth's head before releasing Beth from the hug. She gingerly reached her hand out and brushed a loose strand of hair out of Beth's face, tucking it behind Beth's ear.

"Now we can focus on gettin' you better. Now you can try to move on from what happened…"

Beth quickly looked away from her sister. "There's no getting better, Maggie. There's no moving on."

"I know that that's what it seems like Beth, but there is. I know how strong you are. I know that you can make it through this."

Beth tilted her head and looked up at the sky, letting out a heavy sigh. "Why doesn't anyone understand?" she asked, trying her hardest to keep her tone even.

"What do you mean?" Maggie asked confusedly.

"There's no getting better. This is who I am. This is who I'll always be. I'm broken. There's no fixing me, so stop trying," she said harshly.

"How about I just get you some breakfast…" Maggie said quietly after a few moments, standing up and walking away.

She slowly opened her eyes, the sun drifting in through her window, casting strange shadows on her bedroom wall. The house was quiet. Her mom and dad had taken a weekend trip to Amicalola Falls to celebrate their anniversary. She was 13. Maggie was in charge for the weekend.

She knew that something had changed as soon as she moved, but she didn't think anything of it until she went to the bathroom. The red in her underwear causing her to panic.

"Maggie!" she screamed, quickly walking out of the bathroom.

She heard the shuffling of tired feet as they quickly made their way down the hall. She saw the worried expression on her older sister's face.

"Beth? What's wrong?"

Beth looked down at her feet, her fingers nervously fumbling with the hem of her pajama shirt.

"Beth?"

"I started…I started my period…"

Her sister immediately pulled her into a hug. "It's okay. You don't gotta be embarrassed about it. It's natural," she said reassuringly.

Beth nodded slowly.

"Here," Maggie said, taking Beth's hand and dragging her to her room. "Sit down," she instructed, pointing to the bed.

Beth sat down on the bed, watching as her sister went into her bathroom and came out with different things.

"I know mom had the whole talk with you about this, but I can give it to you again if you need it."

Beth shook her head no, looking down at her hands as Maggie pushed a pad and tampon into them.

"Use whichever you're more comfortable with," she said with a small smile.

A few minutes later, Beth came out of the bathroom, starting to fumble with the hem of her shirt again, causing Maggie to let out a quiet giggle.

"My baby sister's growing up."

"Stop…"

"What?" Maggie asked, giggling again. "You know that I like teasing you. Plus, this is a big moment in your life. You're a woman now."

Beth didn't respond.

"Want me to call mom? I'm sure they'd come home if you wanted her to be here…"

"No," Beth said, shaking her head.

Maggie nodded. "You know what's gonna come next, right?"

"What?" Beth asked, furrowing her eyebrows and looking up at Maggie.

"'The talk,'" she said, another laugh escaping her lips.

Beth groaned. "I don't wanna have 'the talk.'"

"I know. That's why it's gonna be hilarious. Especially considering the way you reacted when you found my birth control pills."

"Maggie…"

"What? It's just sex, Beth. Nothin' to be all embarrassed about. You get all freaked out by it…it's cute."

"Well, I'm not gonna do that anytime soon, so I don't need t'have 'the talk.'"

"You better not be messing around with any boys. If a boy touches you, I'll beat him up…so will Shawn."

She was sitting by the fire. They had walked all day, slowly making their to D.C. She had listened over and over as Abraham discussed the importance of this mission. She had listened to Eugene describing what was waiting for them in D.C., but he was never willing to give any detailed information. But now they were stopped for the night.

"We should find a goddamn car or something," Daryl mumbled, twirling one of his arrows between his fingers. "It'd get us there a lot faster."

Everyone turned their attention to Judith when she started crying loudly, Daryl's gaze shifting to Beth for the briefest of moments. Nobody else knew that she wasn't pregnant. She had only told Maggie. In fact, since telling Maggie, she hadn't said a single word the rest of the day; she had remained completely silent, reserved to herself, keeping her distance from everyone.

When Sasha handed a granola bar to her, she didn't take it, causing the woman to sigh quietly and kneel down in front of her. She set the granola bar on the ground, looking at Beth for a moment before speaking.

"Hey," she said softly, reaching a hand out and gently taking ahold of Beth's, starting to unwrap the bandage around her wrist. "Your wrists are looking better. I was talking to Bob earlier today, he said that they probably won't scar."

Beth shrugged her shoulders. "What does it matter anyway," she mumbled.

Sasha frowned, releasing Beth's hand. "You wanna talk about anything?"

"I want you to leave me alone."

"Beth…you know that what happened to you…nobody looks at you any differently."

"Well you should."

"You're still you…you're just…you just need to heal."

"Are you guys all really that blind? If I were you, I would've just left me there on that road after you guys found me. I don't know how many times I have to tell you all that I've changed. I'm not sweet little innocent Beth Greene."

"What those men did to you, Beth…you can come back from it. It's just gonna take some time."

"Stop sounding like Maggie. Stop being so optimistic. You'll see it…one of these days you'll see how much I've changed, and you'll realize that there's no coming back from it."

"Beth…" Sasha trailed off, standing back up. "Just eat something. I haven't seen you eat all day," she said before walking away.

And in that moment Beth realized what she needed to do. She had been slipping. The darkness inside of her had been seeping out. Everyone had a vague idea of what had happened to her, and she realized that they all had the same hope, the same belief that she could honestly be the girl that she had been before. None of them were willing to open their eyes and see the truth that was in front of them. And she didn't want to hurt any of them.

She stayed awake as everyone settled down for the night, allowing Maggie to wrap the blankets around her before she settled herself down beside Glenn and drifted off to sleep. Tara and Carol were on watch right now, but they would be switching with Rosita and Abraham in a few hours.

A little while later, everyone had fallen asleep, and she glanced over at her bag, sitting right beside her. Carol and Tara were idly chatting. They were distracted. She grabbed her bag and slowly stood up, being quiet as she started to walk away, the camp slowly disappearing behind her.

It didn't hurt. Leaving them didn't hurt, because she knew that what she was doing was right. Nobody would want her when they found out who she really was. She was saving them the heartache. Sure, she knew that they would probably look for her, but soon enough they would realize that she didn't want to be found and that her being away from them was for the better.

Author's Note: Sorry for the delay...again. Blame it on the flu!

Anyways, I'm not really sure how I feel about this chapter. I had difficulty writing it. I knew what I wanted to happen in the chapter, but when it came to typing it, the words just didn't want to come. So, I may end up rewriting the chapter, but I'm not sure.

That being said, this is an important chapter. We finally got the answer to a big question...Beth is not pregnant! Also, Beth ends up sneaking off, running away from the group.

Please leave a review and tell me what you think!