The Deepest Betrayals

"What connection to I have to that asshole?" Levi's expression remained calm, yet Liesel could see a guarded look in his eyes. "What do you mean, Erwin?"

"Levi." Erwin-danchō's tone was cool. "I know you have a connection to a man named Kenny Ackerman. Not the specifics, however. I consulted with one of your subordinates, and he also believes that you lied." At those words, the members of Levi's squad looked incredulously at their heichō, hoping to see the bland expression they had come to know from him. However, they were stunned to find their leader unable to look at them. Liesel didn't stare as they did, knowing that her feelings would be reflected back into her. He knows…

"Very well." There appeared to be no anger in Levi's voice, and as she looked back up to find Levi's steeling gray eyes. "I will tell you my connection to that…man."

Stunned blue eyes met dark gray. The others looked in astonishment as Levi talked to Historia, his voice as empty and hollow as hers had been when the blond teen had told her story.

"Historia." For a moment, the name was the only word that was stated. The tension in the room could be felt, and Liesel vaguely wondered if there was something that connected Levi and Historia. "When you talked about your upbringing and the loneliness of your existence, I could understand. You are not…the only child who knows that they were not wanted in this world." Levi paused, as if allowing the information to sink into the others' minds. The members of his squad appeared bewildered in contrast to the expressions Liesel had been expecting. "My mother was a whore. She worked in the Underground in a whorehouse where I was born."

Expressions of disgust and mild horror echoed across the room as the squad came to know of Levi's beginnings. It seems, Liesel thought as she watched the varying looks of her comrades, that prostitutes are seen…as more filthy and horrifying than in my time. The only one that had a pensive and empathetic expression was Historia. Even when I was a girl, the prostitutes were seen a poor people who had no other choice but to sell themselves to men lower than filth. Now however…they seem to be seen as simply dirty women. Liesel swallowed the sadness welling inside her throat and continued to listen to Levi.

"The Underground, because I'm very certain none of you shitty brats know, is place beneath Sina, where the disgusting pigs and their fat asses live. I…do not know very much about the history of the Underground, only knowing that it is where hell is." Levi suddenly stared at Liesel, a soft smirk appearing on his face. "The war that Liesel spoke of…the one that took away every shitty person that she fucking cared about…was in the Underground. There was no light in that place, only darkness and fear and emptiness."

"Heichō…" Eren had his mouth widened in horror and his fists shook in speechless rage. "You…were born in such a place?"

"I was." There was a rasp in Levi's voice. "There is nothing we can do about the hideousness of deeds done by that shitbags in government, so stop your whining and listen." Levi's voice shook ever so slightly, so softly that almost no one in the room heard it. Only Erwin-danchō and Liesel, who knew the man and understood of the speechless horror, could hear it. "I was told that I was born in a bed of blood. My mother had to take care of me myself, as there were no doctors in the Underground. Only the weak and unfortunate die in such a place. I grew up to the sounds of inhuman sounds and screams and of disgusting men and their voices. I could never cry. I could never make a sound whenever my mother's clients would come and they would fuck. I always hid underneath the bed whenever those disgusting men came…never making a sound." There was silence. Levi's face didn't change as he spoke. "The only clear memory I have of my mother was when she died Held down, screaming as she attempted to fight them off. The blood…staining everywhere. The screams echoing across the room. After…they slit her throat and left, laughing." Levi's face was made out of stone. There was no emotion on his face, as if the rage and grief had been buried for so long that there was no recollection of the feeling.

"Heichō…" Armin whispered, tears almost gathering in his eyes as his voice shook as Jean sat silently raging across from him. "Your mother…must have loved you, even in that place. She must have…even with –"

"Unlike you, I do not remember my mother holding me in her arms." Levi's voice was quiet across the varying expressions of horror and shock from the recollection of his mother's death. "All I remember her telling me is…that I should be known as Levi…just Levi. I didn't know what she meant until now." Briefly, he glanced in Mikasa's direction. "She didn't speak to me, not truly. I know that she did not hate me. The memories of my childhood…are only ones of dark feelings. I do not remember my mother ever smiling. Perhaps she did, when I was very small." Levi swallowed, his fists clenching and his voice rasping as he continued. "She did not reveal me as she died. She could have. I had seen children lying dead in the garbage, wounds so horrid I wonder if half of them had died before they were abandoned there."

Tears were trailing across Sasha's cheeks, and the others were staring at Levi, numb and stunned by the words coming from him. "There was no food or water. I was with my mother for days, watching her body wither away into nothing as my pathetic brat self could do nothing but feel his life seeping out of him. It was there I met…him. He found me, on death's door as his sister's body began to decompose. He asked me who I was, and I told him." Liesel imagined the scene. A very small boy with dark hair framing around his dying face, his eyes very large as a tall and imposing man crouched before him. It reminded her of finding the small doll, seeing in her mind's eye of child playing with the doll, her long hair around her face as she smiled. Liesel had cried then, feeling her now-dead brother in her arms. She did not cry now as she listened to Levi speak of how Kenny Ackerman had saved him from death's open arms. Liesel simply swallowed, following Levi's eyes with her own.

"He was the one that trained me. Kenny…made me who I was. I remember holding the knife for the first time, feeling the cold steel in my hands." For a moment, Levi's eyes seemed to stare at his comrades. His eyes were now longer empty, but cold. "He taught me how to fight. Pain is the best discipline, he taught me. I still remember feeling my bones break in my body, the agony exploding through my mind as he aimed a kick at my head. The blood spilling from my wounds as he taught me to forget the pain. To move through the pain." His voice was calm and collected, the dark gray eyes a mask of emptiness.

"I still remember when he broke my hands for spilling his tea, my body still weak from…the training session we had. When I completely dropped the tea cup and the pieces dropping onto the floor, he kicked me onto the floor and I started to bleed from the sharp edges across my face. By the time my hands healed, I was used to holding to holding the cups with my thumbs and fingers." Levi looked at Eren, his expression neutral as the green eyed teen appeared almost frightened. "I saw you looking at me with your shitty face, Yeager. I was easy to figure out."

"He left when I was ten. By that time, I was able to live on my own and survive in the Underground." This time he stared at Erwin-danchō, and there seemed to be an unreadable expression on his face. "That is my connection with that monster of a man."

"Levi." Neither men looked at each other. "You need to tell them the entire truth." Erwin-danchō spoke without any emotion as he stared at his second-in-command. His blue eyes were numb to Levi, not speaking and deathly quiet.

"Fine." The others, including Liesel, were shocked to hear the contempt and rage in Levi's voice. "I…was a thug in the Underground until I met members of the Survey Corps, including this asshole here." There was a deep breath. "I was forced to join them, under the condition that my crimes would be pardoned. After a couple of months –"

"The truth." Erwin-danchō's voice became deep, and disappointment echoed in his voice as he stared hard at Levi. "I know that…your friends would want you to speak of them, Levi. Six years, Levi. That is how long it has been. They would want you tell your comrades the entire truth. Fa –"

"Don't you dare say those names." Impossible anger was heard as Levi continued to stare at the ground. Liesel didn't have to see there was a haunted expression on his face. She knew. "Don't you dare speak them."

"Then tell them."

"I had…two friends in the Underground. Their names were Farlan Church…and Isabel Magnolia." The very sound of their names left Levi almost breathless. His eyes changed, losing the emptiness it had before. "They followed me to the Survey Corps, not intending to die. We didn't care about humanity or the shitty humans. We simply…wanted to live above ground." The only sound was the sound of Levi's breathing, which was becoming more audible by the moment. "A messenger approached us with a deal, and we took it. It was…to obtain documents from Erwin Smith and kill him."

Audible gaps and hard stares followed Levi's words. He ignored them, speaking with a growing listless tone. "My only goal was to kill Erwin Smith. I...personally did not care for Sina. I hated Sina, the pigs rotting in their own shit and filth. Farlan though….he wanted to live there. He wanted to live there because we could actually live. There was no chance we could die with a knife to our throats…and we could have anything we desired."

"Isabel…was different. She would have become like you shitty brats. She saw the Survey Corps hope similar to ours, hoping to see the sun and sky. To actually live. Sometimes…I wonder how she could have been so damn cheery in that damn place. She always…said it was because of me." A faint crack enveloped in his voice. "Because of me…she could never not be happy."

My dear half…

"It was raining that night. On our first expedition…it rained. No one could see. I took that opportunity to get the papers and kill that blond bastard. Farlan and Isabel wanted to come with me…but I…trusted my own strength, not their own." Levi's face was shadowed. He would not look up, as if to not acknowledge the depleting sanity within him. "The mission failed…and everyone died. Because of my arrogance, because of my stupidity, Farlan and Isabel…died. Like my squad, I didn't see them die." Levi took a breath, the sound of the erratic breathing echoing in the room. "Isabel's head, detached from her body, blood covering the ground. Farlan….half of his body destroyed. Four Titans had killed the entire squad. I killed them…but unlike all the times I killed a man, I felt nothing."

"That is why I told you…to not have regrets, Levi." The sound of Erwin voice broke the hold that Levi had on the people surrounding him. The danchō's face was emotionless as he stared at the broken man before him. "When you were in front of me that day…with blood covering your uniform and your face and hair…I told you not to have regrets. It destroys you, Levi. It destroys you until nothing remains until your former self." Liesel heard Levi's breath slightly hitch and his knuckles turn white. "Every person in the Survey Corps was willing to die for humanity. There is no reason for regrets." Then suddenly Erwin-danchō turned to Liesel. His blue eyes bored into her own, something more than pity in his gaze. "Otherwise, you become like Liesel. Haunted and broken…an empty shell waiting to die," he stated as Liesel started to shake. Her eyes were widening. "Living a life wanting to die."

Living a life… Liesel was only aware of her only breathing, listening to her heart. Waiting to… She thought about herself lying on the cot, sobbing and emptiness filling inside of her. She thought about seeing her brother's face flashing before her eyes. Her team…all dead, Edmund's body destroyed and Nina and Erik… Her father and uncle, dying overseas. Living a life waiting to die… She thought about why she had lived. Throughout the times when she thought she wasn't worth living. When she thought she deserved to die. Liesel thought about the first person who had made her give a reason to live. Immediately, she saw Historia looking at her, and she remembered the words she had told her what seemed to be so long ago.

"Levi, I have a confession to make to you." Liesel broke from her thoughts and stared at the two men. Levi's distress appeared evident on her face, his eyes dark and losing their grip of sanity.

"What?" Levi rasped. Apparently, he still had a sense of humor, for he replied, "You're not going to confess your love to me, are you?"

"No." This time Erwin sighed. "I have lied to you, Levi. I have lied to you for six years, and I am sorry." Before anyone could speak, Erwin continued, genuine guilt in his voice. "I did not choose you for the Survey Corps solely because of your skill, Levi. I chose you because of your father."

"My father?" Levi whispered, disbelief and disgust evident in his voice. "What the fuck does the filth that fucked my mother have anything to do with this?"

"Your father was not a wealthy merchant or anything of the sort from Sina, as you probably thought all those years, Levi. He was…the commander of the Military Police. His name was Laurent Favraeu, and he was one of the most skilled military commanders in history." Before Levi could reply, Erwin-danchō continued to speak. "I do not know why, but somehow I believe he was connected to the Reiss family, for his family was beside the false king throughout the generations." He turned to Liesel. "I believe you know of this, Liesel."

A jolt overcame her as his voice faded. Immediately, she could see men with dark hair sitting beside the king. Guarding him, advising him. The cloak across their backs. A young boy besides another, telling one that he would one day be a commander. "He was….a member of the family that swore allegiance to the king. The Favraeus…the Ackermans…the Reiss…and the Asians who survived the war defied the king, but his family did not. They decided to ally themselves with the king to spare their lives. The Ackermans and the others never forgot the memories of the world, but they…" The reason why the memories cannot be simply released into the world besides the Reiss family. Anger and dismay overcame her. "How could I know this…?"

"It appears my theory was correct. I believe your mind is connect to Rod Reiss', Liesel, as of why you knew of his plan beforehand." Liesel stared dully at danchō, hearing the coolness of his voice. "I believe it has something to do with the fact that you exchanged your blood with the progenitor you spoke of." He turned to Levi, calm as the man before him was eerily still.

"Levi, you are the only son of Laurent Favraeu. He died five years before you joined the Survey Corps, killed in the Underground where you lived. You truly believed that I knew of your abilities by simply watching you that one day, Levi? No, I observed you for months. And somewhere during that time, I could see that man in you." Levi's face was grave and he didn't speak. His eyes were empty coals as and dark as the forbidden thoughts in his mind. "Even though most of your skills were obtained from the time with Kenny Ackerman, I could see Laurent Favraeu's judgement in yours, and the most prominent feature were your eyes. Exactly the same. I asked around in the Underground, and after a couple of weeks I came across a prostitution house, and looked for a man that visited the Underground matching his description more than two decades beforehand, and I found that there was one man that visited a prostitute under the name Olympia –"

"Stop." The harrowing glances of the members of his squad turned as Levi abruptly stood. His face was ghostly pale and his lips impossibly thin as his hands lay limply on his sides. The most frightening part of him however, was his eyes. Drowning in desperation, naked from the truths that had been said and spilled…exposed for the haunted memories that burned in his mind. "You…Erwin…"

"The Military Police were also looking into you, Levi. They would have forced you to become your father, to serve the king, so I used my best hands and did the best I could." There was grief in Erwin's eyes as well, but Levi seemed immune to it. The desperation steadily turned into anger as he bit through his lip.

"So…it was nothing about my abilities, was it?" There was an ironic tone beneath the growing rage. His eyes bored into the man that Liesel could see who had trusted with his life, on the verge on breaking the dam that was held within. "Nothing about myself at all. Nothing…about them." Suddenly his mouth turned into burning sneer. "When you said Isabel and Farlan died unnecessary deaths, I didn't know that was what you had in mind."

Erwin-danchō's face was unreadable. "Are you going to kill me now, Levi?"

"No." Levi's response was immediate. "I am…beyond that, Erwin Smith." The tall man did not flinch. "I thought that you trusted me with my abilities, nothing more. I trusted you with what you believed in." There was a long pregnant pause. "But now I see that you used me for nothing more than fucking bastard who…" Levi leaned toward the tall blond, his face inches from his. "I should have said this a long time ago."

"Fuck you."

I decided to make this Erwin's betrayal to Levi because I have a feeling that his greatest betrayal would be choosing him as a member of the Survey Corps for a means to an end, and not his abilities, and of using his friends like fodder. Kenny is different from what we saw in the most recent manga chapter because I already had his characterization in my mind and I didn't feel like changing it. I also was interested in the thought that there could have been a family that swore loyalty to the king that had their memories and who helped the king with keeping the human survivors in the dark. The abilities will be explained in later chapters. Please review, and I hope you enjoyed this chapter!