The most noticeable thing in the room should have been the angry woman standing in the middle of the floor yelling at just about everyone. Tessa barely registered her. Her attention caught and held on the piece of the past standing across the room with a bemused smile he probably should have tried to hide on his face. Will wore black trousers and a white shirt he had rolled to his elbows. It had one button undone at the collar but he'd taken the time to tuck it in. He leaned one shoulder against the wall with his arms crossed. How many times had she seen him like that in years gone by? The answer must have been in the hundreds. She knew what he was doing. He looked disinterested but he would be able to recite back everything that was said.
Jem stood beside him, looking incongruously like the younger one in jeans and a t-shirt and those blue shoes. He stood straight and looked alert though Tessa was sure that he was paying less attention to what was being said. He was picking up on all the strange details Will missed. Will could tell you exactly what had been said. Jem would be able to tell you what someone was feeling when they did.
It had been so long since she'd seen them together like this that she had forgotten it. They filled in one another's gaps. One's weaknesses became a part of the other's strengths. They stood close enough to touch and when Jem's attention moved, Will's followed it. They acted in tandem even when they were just watching a conversation unfold.
"They are alarmingly pretty, your boys," Magnus whispered at Tessa elbow and she jumped a little. She turned to look at him and he shrugged elegantly. She found a seat on the far side of the room from where Will and Jem stood and Magnus followed her. He turned his attention back to the room. She gave her boys as he called them another look before she let the yelling finally have her attention. Jem smiled at her and a moment later Will's attention found her as well and he looked a touch startled beneath his cultivated disinterest. She gave him her best impression of Jem's kind smile and his eyes softened as he returned it.
"This should not have been a surprise," the woman in the middle of the room said. She was narrow with dark skin and long thin braids pulled back into a tight hairstyle at the back of her head. She was in her 50s and looked distinctly familiar. Tessa tried to place her to some Clave meeting or another.
"Was she at the Battle of Alicante?" Tessa asked Magnus in a low voice.
"Probably but that's not why you recognize her," he said. Tessa was silent as she looked the woman over. "Try to imagine less conservative navy and more neon orange."
"Alison?" Tessa hissed. Magnus pointed finger guns at her and gave her a sarcastic smile that made her smack him in the shoulder. Someone nearby looked at them. They gave him matching 'don't mind the warlocks' smiles before going back to their whispered conversation, "I would not have pictured her growing up to wear business suits."
"I don't think she did either," Magnus said pointing across the room. Alison, the one in her 20s whom Tessa had met, was in the room as well. She was not wearing neon but she was wearing tight jeans and spike heels that she might have borrowed from Isabelle Lightwood. Her shirt showed a lot of skin. She was the antithesis of the woman in the middle of the room. She did not look happy.
Magnus filled Tessa in at that same low volume. When the Shadowhunter near them glanced back again as though nervous to have warlocks plotting behind him, Magnus switched to a purgatic dialect that sounded much more menacing. Tessa sighed because she had to concentrate much harder to make sense of what he was saying. She knew enough of the language to do it but it took far more effort. The little glares made it almost worth it but Magnus seemed to find it much funnier than she did.
Through the purgatic and Magnus's editorializing on fashion choices she was able to put together what was going on. A new piece of information had come to light and a group of Shadowhunters who had been working on recreating the maps of where each individual had been when they disappeared had been brought in to see if there was a pattern to be found. Alison, the older one, was a member of that group but all information up to that point had been provided blind. She hadn't known she would be walking into a room with her younger self.
"This language doesn't have a word for boots," Magnus said before he tried a couple of circular translations including saying 'large foot and leg covering' in a few different combinations. It came out sounding like an incantation to raise a demon. A different Shadowhunter turned around to frown at them and Magnus dropped his volume as he tried to translate "foot sheath" but it wasn't much less cumbersome to say and still sounded like a spell for dark magic.
"What is the pattern we're looking for?" Tessa interrupted in English. She wasn't willing to play his language hopping games.
"Oh, right, there are missing persons who match up with each arrival," Magnus said then his voice turned drawling, "Your very pretty boys put it together. We're all very proud."
"You're in an unusual mood," she said.
"It was a good day. Was. Anna has decided she's going to be a writer and Alec has been teaching her to write letters all morning. It is adorable. Disgustingly adorable. I'm a little nauseated just thinking about it," his smile was not nauseated, "Then we got some baby free time while she went shopping with Auntie Izzy and that was going very well but now I am here with you. Not that you aren't lovely but this," he waved a hand covered in rings at the arguing Shadowhunters, "Is not how I wanted to spend my afternoon."
"So leave," she said. "I can take official warlock notes for you."
Magnus leaned out a bit and shot a pointed look at Alec who was sitting near his mother and looked just as involved in the argument as anyone else. Tessa laughed at his cranky look. She felt a little like the student misbehaving in class as a few more people looked their way. From across the room, Jem raised his eyebrows at her. She rolled her eyes at Magnus and he gave her a crooked smile that made her think about things that were far away from the patterns in magic and geography that everyone else was discussing.
The woman who Alison would grow into was at the center of it all. Poise and authority and not a small amount of Alison's attitude. The longer she watched her, the more Tessa could see that they were the same person. She knew, better than most people, how much a person could change over the years. This was Alison's Shadowhunter arrogance all grown up. Tessa didn't find herself liking this woman any more than she liked the younger version but she was certainly impressive.
When the circular conversations started to break up, Tessa left Magnus to his sarcasm and annoyance and crossed the room to Jem and Will. They were leaned in, heads together as they talked. Jem had his hand on Will's arm and there was something about their body language that made the moment feel just a little too private. She paused before she had finished closing the distance.
It was Will who turned to her first and he surprised her by reaching out a hand. She took it and he tugged her in so she stood closer. It was a very conscious action and he watched her reaction carefully as though trying to decide if it was the right one. She smiled at him and adjusted her fingers to hold his more securely. He echoed the smile. It was so endearingly self conscious that she almost kissed him again even though it had gone so poorly the last time.
Will squeezed her fingers and then dropped her hand. The gesture made her heart hurt. He took her hand while Jem stood beside him and told her with just a brush of fingers that something Jem had said had gotten through. It was almost an apology. Almost a request. He was calmer than he had been but there was something he needed to say and it ran through him like a current.
He held all her attention.
Will squeezed her fingers and said softly, "I would like to speak to you."
"Of course," she said before glancing at Jem to see if he had any clues as to what was about to happen. He gave her a little flash of a smile but it wasn't really an explanation. She let her guard down. Jem would look worried if it were something she needed to be concerned about. Jem didn't look worried.
Will offered her his arm in a charmingly old fashioned gesture. He probably didn't even realize that it was old fashioned. She took it and Jem fell into step on her other side as they ducked out of the room before any of the little scattered conversations could grab hold of them. Tessa needed to know if Will was alright far more than she needed to answer questions about portals or hear about how strange it was to meet a younger version of yourself. If she held onto his arm a little tighter than was proper, he didn't comment on it.
The room they found themselves in was a sort of study room. It had a table and a blackboard and an oil painting of a street scene in Alicante. Jem hopped up onto the table beneath that painting and swung his feet. It made him seem young. Tessa looked at him. He was very happy and a little anxious. Usually a room full of Shadowhunters pushed him into being Brother Zachariah but there was none of that distance in him right now. He was utterly present, bright and alert.
"Having him here is good for you, have you noticed that?" Tessa said to him. She still stood with Will but Jem swinging his feet held her attention. Jem tilted his head and considered that and then laughed and looked down at the floor.
Will shifted just slightly beside her and looked at Jem like he had lost his grip on reality. His discomfort turned her back to him. He was calmer than he had been when she'd last seen him but he was still oceans away from being truly comfortable. Maybe he never would be, maybe he would go home without ever being able to relax in this time and place. Tessa's heart recoiled at the idea of sending him home but she was certain she managed to keep it off her face as she turned to look up at him.
Will was serious. He glanced past her at Jem and whatever expression Jem shot him annoyed him. He frowned and Tessa smiled just a little bit. She was careful with her expressions. She was careful with the words she assembled to say to him. She was not going to make him more uncomfortable.
"Would you like to let me in on the secret?" Tessa asked.
Will's eyes were deep, dark blue and held hers. She wasn't sure she could look away from him if a bomb had gone off beside them. Will was assembling things to say as carefully as she was but he kept discarding them before he actually managed to get the words out. She waited.
"I kissed him," Will said and he made it almost sound like a question.
"I started it," Jem said.
It was Jem that Tessa turned to look at and he was nearly laughing. She started to say something and then stopped because she wasn't quite sure what words she needed. Will didn't seem to find it quite as funny but there was something about Jem's humour that was catching and Will's lip pulled up in a little half smile. Tessa looked between them again. She was sure that they were being ridiculous on purpose.
"He pushed me up against a wall," Jem said in response to Tessa's expression and it wasn't the words that made her reconsider, it was Will's reaction to them. He looked away from her and coloured just a little. Will did not blush. It simply did not happen. Tessa looked between them for a moment and then she laughed and leaned into Will's shoulder.
"I'm sorry. That was an inappropriate reaction," she said a moment later. She had her hand over her mouth and still held onto Will's arm. Will was too startled to pull away from her.
"I was not expecting hysterics," Jem said but he still looked amused.
"I wasn't expecting this at all," she said. She pointed at Jem. She was smiling more in response to his giddiness than anything else. She was still barely convinced that they weren't pulling jokes on her, "You've gone emotional. You're really happy about this."
"It was really very good. You'd know that," he flashed her a smile that made her raise her eyebrows at him. Tessa looked up at Will to see how he was taking this and he looked baffled and maybe a little worried. Will's worry wasn't just his anxiety about how his behaviour would be received. He was worried about Jem.
"This just happened," Tessa said to Jem. His behaviour was starting to make more sense.
"We very nearly had to explain ourselves to Maryse when she came to tell us that this meeting was going to happen," Jem said like it was a hilarious joke.
She turned to Will, "His emotions were suppressed for so long as a Silent Brother that sometimes a particularly strong one will roll him over. Surprises or just strong feelings can set it off. Grief will tear him to pieces or something will make him absurdly happy and he'll giggle for a day. He'll be fine."
"Am I far enough gone that I need to have my behaviour explained?" Jem asked and some of the manic energy in him settled while he looked between them. That he had managed to keep himself in check during the meeting seemed a feat.
"I would have guessed you were drunk," Will said.
"No, just emotionally unstable," Jem said and he hopped down off the table to come and stand a little closer to them. Will watched Jem with that concern he had always had when they'd been young and Jem had been ill but there was a difference to it now. There was a greater tenderness in that look. They'd always loved each other and now they were standing on the edge of changing that love completely. She watched Will's expression and Jem's laughter and realized she was wrong.
They were not at the edge of the change. They'd fallen off the edge. Will was tender and protective in the way he watched Jem. Jem's giddiness had some of the shocked, pure spun happiness he'd had on his face when she'd agreed to marry him so very long ago. She stood between them just touching this massive feeling. She wasn't quite a part of it but she wasn't separate from it either.
They were watching each other like people who had been in love their entire lives. Maybe they had.
She took their hands. Jem immediately linked his fingers through hers but Will was more cautious. He'd thrown his whole heart into this without looking at where it might land. He'd gone and flung himself into love with someone else he couldn't have. Whether it was the Clave's rules or Jem's marriage or the fact that he was going to have to go back someday didn't matter. Will saw all the ways he would end up alone, Will had always been able to see the ways he would end up alone. Jem was too caught up in the giddiness to see how much this could hurt.
"I thought we were complicated yesterday," she said, "Now we're just an incomprehensible tangle."
"I don't think I care," said Jem.
"That's because you're half drunk on happy thoughts," Will said.
"They're good happy thoughts," Jem said and he dropped an arm over Will's shoulder to close the little circle. Tessa worried Will would pull away but instead he shook his head and just a little of the tension in his shoulders was released. Jem had always calmed Will's more wild edges and she could see it happen more clearly now. Will saw himself as the protector but Jem was his anchor.
"You two love each other more than air. I've never seen a love like yours. I don't belong here," Will said and Tessa tugged on Jem's fingers to shut him up before he interrupted, "But there is no where else I want to be. I would not, could not, do anything that might damage what you have found and yet I keep finding myself here, on the wrong side of an unconscionable choice and yet neither of you are angry, neither of you react the way normal people would react."
"I'm not angry, Will," she said pulling his hand in a little closer and he followed it, tightening the circle. "Surprised, I am surprised. Though watching you like this, I shouldn't be. This has always been there between the two of you. You have always loved each other. Of course you would push him over into one of his moments of happy madness. I have lived too long to believe anymore that there is a normal way to do anything. Promise me that you won't hurt each other trying to do the proper thing. Do the right thing or if you can't, just a good thing."
"And what is the right thing?" Will asked in a soft voice.
"Right now, this, this is the right thing," she said and she lay her head against his shoulder. Having them both close enough to hold on to calmed something inside her. It calmed something she hadn't known needed calming. Jem still thrummed with manic good cheer and for a least a moment Will's anxiety took a backseat and she felt his cheek come to rest on the top of her head. She closed her eyes and let herself forget about the rest of the world.