Someone asked: AU in which Mario is a lizard and Bowser is human
Echo: That should prove interesting. I think. Let's find out!
Warning: It doesn't go the full length, but there is some gay subtext between Mario and Bowser.
A red lizard-man raced toward a dark fortress, leaping over a turtle along the way. His red cap nearly flew off from his head and the lizard grabbed it as he came back down. Running to the castle, the lizard tugged up his blue shorts and tightened his brown shoes.
However, he skidded to a halt upon seeing a man stand before the stronghold. Before him stood a man in a dark green suit with long red hair. The man straightened his black tie against his yellow shirt, and then tugged on his studded wrist cuffs. The man grinned wickedly at the lizard-man before him.
"Bowser!"
"Bwahaha!" The man laughed. "If it isn't Mario, come to save the day and put a stop to my actions!"
"You've given the Lizard Kingdom enough grief, Bowser!" The lizard tightened his fist. "That ends now."
"Aw, right now? This isn't even my final fortress."
"Tough break."
Quickly, Mario rushed over to Bowser and jumped. The man pulled out a lighter and rolled away from the lizard's stomp. Grabbing a log, Bowser lit it on fire and threw it at Mario, who ducked as it flew overhead.
Following up on it, Bowser threw a punch as Mario rose up from the ground. It connected and Mario went back down. The man readied another punch, but this time, Mario used his tail to trip Bowser's legs, knocking him down to the ground. Before he could move, Mario leapt on top of Bowser.
"Slow it down," mocked Bowser. "This is our first fight of the week."
"And it will be the last!" Mario raised his hand.
"Honey, let's talk this through." Suddenly, Bowser overpowered Mario and threw him to the ground, climbing on top of him. "There, see? Wasn't so bad letting me in, was it?"
Struggling, Mario thrashed against Bowser's weight. "This isn't over!"
"Isn't it?" Bowser laughed. "You know, I could do whatever I wanted right here and now." Slowly, he leaned closer to Mario's face, breathing his warm breath against the lizard's nose. He grinned wickedly as Mario's eyes widened. "Let's use our imagination, shall we?" With a chuckle, he pressed his mouth against Mario's nose.
Swiftly, Mario kicked between Bowser's legs. The man cried out in pain and rolled off of the lizard, who jumped up and back down on Bowser's back.
"Give up yet?" Mario taunted.
"For…now." Recovering, Bowser threw Mario off of him. He snapped his fingers and a purple muscle car rolled over to him. Bowser jumped inside and laughed. "Catch you later, lizard lips!" The car sped off as his laughter continued into the distance.
Mario stood up and watched his enemy disappear from him. Slowly, he touched his nose and shivered. Sometimes, these battles would get a little too close to be comfortable…or between mere enemies. Shaking his head, he entered the fortress to raise the victory flag.