Someone asked: I just had this incredibly cute mental image of Bowser and Mario on cars that are WAY too small for them and them like busting ass and laughing and having a great time. Then, one of them busts ass like hella hard and gets a terrible scrape out of it, and the other starts laughing at first but then is like "Holy shit, he's actually hurt." And comes over, checks on him, asks if he's alright and patches him up. He's like "Thanks." and smiles kinda genuine and it makes the other blush.

Echo: That is cute! Let's see…can I make a semi-Mario Kart one-shot out of this?

Warning: It's kind of…sort of got hints of Bowser/Mario gay fluff in it. I mean, it doesn't have to be read that way, but…it also is, so yeah.

One sunny afternoon outside of Princess Peach's Castle, the Mario Bros. were chattering with Toad, Yoshi, and Peach about the upcoming kart-racing tournament. Abruptly, a kart skidded along the road nearby and screeched as the five clutched their ears in pain.

"BWAHAHA!"

Groaning, the five gazed ahead to Bowser, who picked himself up from his small orange Pipe Frame and stomped over to the group.

"Oh, Bowser, please," pleaded Peach. "We're having the tournament in a few days, and we made sure to invite you this time. Can't you just wait until then, like everyone else?"

"Ha! What fun would that be, Princess?" Bowser grinned at her, to which Peach rolled her eyes and folded her arms. "Anyway, which of you runts wants to be my first victim? I'm looking to get some practice in right now!"

"I'll race you!"

Everyone quieted and stared at Toad, who cheerfully hopped forward to challenge Bowser.

"Y…You?" Bowser blinked. "You're just a meek mushroom. None of your kind challenges me."

"Technically, you're challenging us," corrected Toad. "And kart racing isn't the same as you trying to burn us! I can take you!"

"Toad," whispered Luigi. "If he does lose to you, which is likely, he'll fry you anyway."

"Um…n-never…Mario, you can handle this, right?" Toad shivered and glanced to the red clad plumber, who happily nodded. "Ok! You got lucky, Bowser! Mario will take you on today, but come tournament time, you'll be eating my dust too!"

With that, Toad quickly fled to hide behind Yoshi, who gently patted the little mushroom. Mario stepped forward, rolled his red Pipe Frame out next to Bowser's, and nodded.

"Wouldn't have it any other way." Bowser laughed and sat onto his kart. He looked far too large for it, as did Mario when he hopped into his seat. Nevertheless, they started their karts. "All right, we'll race on your track. Let's go, Mario!" He paused before roaring. "A-And get ready to get roasted, too!"

They sped off in their karts while the remaining four watched them race away. Luigi scratched his head in confusion while Peach turned to him.

"What is it, Luigi?"

"Come to think of it, if this is just a practice race that Bowser wanted, why didn't we just all go? We could use some test runs before the tournaments, right?"

The other three let their mouths fall open as they mentally scolded themselves for missing the opportunity.

Further along the road, already near Mario Circuit, Bowser and Mario kept a steady pace with one another. Entering the track and rolling to the starting line, Mario glanced at Bowser, who twisted around in his tiny kart and smirked.

"Thanks for coming out, Mario!" The plumber raised his eyebrows in confusion. "I'm looking forward to making you choke while I keep you behind me!" Mario gave Bowser a disgusted look as he scratched his head. "…What?!"

"Look, Bowser, can't we just…I don't know, race without trying to wreck each other?"

"Where's the fun in that?!" Bowser folded his arms. "It's not a good old kart race unless we're slamming Koopa Shells at each other."

"But then…you have to give me a few minutes to gather the item boxes." Mario sighed. "And then I have to do an inventory check, then figure out where their proper positions are, place them around the track, and—"

"FINE, no items!" Bowser slid back around and squeezed down into his kart, which creaked under his weight. "Buzz kill."

"Oh, and do you really want to do three whole laps?" Mario squished into his kart, readying to race. "Because I think one would be—"

"Yes, three!" Bowser punched his steering wheel. "You're taking all of the fun out of this!"

"Since when did you want to race for fun?"

"Since right now, ok?!" Bowser grumbled. "Right now's a good time to not be serious about this. I'm just looking for a practice run." He turned his head while Mario stared over to him. "I'm not always a complete jerk, you know! …Just most of the time."

They turned and watched the automatic countdown timer, which filled in for Lakitu during practices. The lights flashed green and both racers sped down the road.

Coming up on the first turn, both Mario and Bowser drifted into it and boosted off the end of it, pivoting into the next turn. A wider turn came up and they took a minute to go around it.

After the turn, Bowser hopped his kart around and drove backwards. He stuck his tongue out and waved at Mario, who burst out laughing.

The road twisted a bit as they went, and Mario decided to twist around his kart, running a circle around Bowser. They both laughed as the road narrowed and they straightened their karts out before entering a tunnel.

Once out of it, the pavement became a dirt road and the two raced along it until a wide turn came up. Bowser hopped his kart into a turn, but the whole thing crashed under his weight. He skidded across the road and slid out from his kart's seat, scraping his legs and tail as he rolled off.

Mario stopped his kart and spun around, laughing at the sight. His laughter slowed as he leaned on the steering wheel and waited for Bowser to get up with a roar, but the large Koopa just groaned along the side of the road.

"B…Bowser?" Mario forced himself from his kart and stood up. "Are you ok?"

"N-No."

Panicked, Mario hurried over as Bowser picked himself up a bit, rubbing his scratches. He yelped out and winced as Mario dug into his overalls.

"Hang on, I've dabbled into medical work."

"You what?"

The Koopa King watched as Mario pulled out disinfectant sprays and bandages from his overalls.

"Hold still a second." Bowser glared slightly at Mario while he reached over to his wounds. "Look, I need to check how bad they are, ok? I'm not trying to hurt you."

Nodding, Bowser relaxed as Mario gently checked on the scratches along Bowser's legs. A little red and sore, but nothing appeared to be broken. He then moved along to Bowser's tail, and the Koopa shuddered at Mario's touch. Again, no major damage, but it was pretty sore from the crash.

"Hang on, this will sting a bit."

Mario used the spray while Bowser winced and clenched his teeth. His wounds bubbled a bit as Mario pulled out an unused cloth to dab them down a bit. He then unraveled the bandages and carefully wrapped them around each spot that Bowser had torn open. He tightened the wrappings and dusted the Koopa off a bit before helping him up from the road.

Glancing down, Bowser inspected himself and moved around to check everything. "Huh. You weren't kidding." He chuckled and nodded. "Thanks, Doctor Mario!"

The plumber smirked as he put his supplies away. He waited for a biting insult to follow up on the gratitude, but nothing came. Instead, Bowser brightly smiled and pat Mario on the back, causing the plumber to blush.

"You know, aside from completely destroying my kart and getting nailed, this was actually pretty fun."

"Y-Yeah, it was."

They stood quietly as they gazed at one another, unsure of what to do next.

"Uh…maybe we could do this again, sometime?" Bowser's cheeks flared up. "Just a race, just…us." He clawed through his hair and tried to look everywhere aside from Mario.

"Sure, that…would be fun." Mario focused on fixing his cap, but caught Bowser's eyes as they stared at one another. "Of course, we should probably, um, get new karts for the upcoming Grand Prix."

"Right, yeah."

They turned and stared at Mario's kart, which was still in one piece. Bowser sighed and ran his claw through his hair again.

"You going to get going?" Mario glanced up at him, concerned, while Bowser snorted. "It's fine, I can walk."

"Well…I'm not feeling particularly safe about these karts anymore. Maybe we can get the Pipe Frame line remodeled." Mario shrugged. "And…I could use a walk myself."

"Great!" Bowser grinned to Mario's smile, but coughed as he turned away a bit. "If you want, that is. No big deal." Still, he glanced back down to the plumber. "Um…you, uh, need me with you? I mean, not need, but uh…we could, you know."

"Walk together?"

"Yeah! …Uh, yeah."

"Ok, let's go." They started walking along the track, back to the finish line. "And maybe you can help me pick out the new karts that we should use."

"Sure! Maybe something that can carry the weight of two racers."

The two discussed the matter as they walked the length of the track together, certainly in no hurry to leave, even as the sun began to set.