I had now been in Litchfield over a week and I hadn't really made many if not any friends, they were all in cliques but I spoke to Nichols, Chapman and morello a lot but because they were in moms crowd I'm not aloud to really hang with them too much other wise mom I know mom would disown them and I didn't want for them to lose that after all I knew what it was like first hand and after all I am Reds actual blood daughter and yet she still chooses them over me.
I decided to make a change today I got up had a shower and then headed to break fast. I joined the line as normal but this time instead of sitting with Nichols, Chapman and Morello, I see mom sitting with them so I look else where . I walk round looking at the tables when I see Diaz sitting with her friends I decide to ask if I can join in I mean after all I can speak basic Spanish so I might have a chance.
I walk over and confidently ask " anyone sitting here?" Diaz looked up at me and shakes her head with a smile on her face.
I glance over at Nichols,morello and Chapman who are all confused why I have joined the Spanish girls and gesturing for me to come over and sit with them but most of all I notice mom looking at me but, I just look away and sit next to Diaz.
I soon learn that I am not really wanted at this table either I mean Diaz is sweet but it's her other friends that glare at me whilst I eat but I just carry on reguardless.
" Yo bitch you're in my seat" I look behind me to see a rather angry puertorican lady.
" I'm sorry.. I didn't realise" I say but she just tuts and walks away mumbling something is Spanish under her breath at me which I didn't quite catch.
" look white girl you don't really belong here do you..., just look around" I glance around knowing she was telling the truth.
" Yo, you're Reds daughter aren't you?" One of the girls said smirking
" yeah, that's right I am so what..." I say shrugging.
" oh look who's finally getting a voice" The girls who seat I had taken said.
" so the great and mighty Red or shall I say mommy dearest didn't like seeing her precious Hija in prison then" I feel the anger rising with in me.
" I heard that she has disowned you" another girl spoke up with attitude.
" speak like that about my mother again and I will kick your ass" I say
" ooooh is that right white girl" I glare at the tall dark haired peurtorican who slammed down her plastic cutlery.
" you better bring it on white girl" the tall peurtorican got out of her seat and walked towards stepping right in front of me.
" ya'll better watch your back and mommy won't be Hear to save you and FYI we don't take liking to filthy Russians"the other girls laugh loudly, I get up out of my seat and pick up my tray.
"bring it on bitches oh... and don't believe everything people have said about me... The truth is much worse" I say walking away.
" everything okay Reznikov" officer Bennett says walking over to me as I empty my tray into the trash.
" please don't call me that...it's Nastya" I say not realise who was next to me until I turn my head " shit sorry.. I didn't..." I stutter.
" hey it's okay...I saw what happened a minute ago and I wanted to make sure you're okay"
" God I'm fine... I can take care of my self I'm not a baby" I say before storming off.
" Hey..inmate" I hear Bennett calling after me.
I sigh and stop dead in my tracks and turn round " talk like that again and I will have to write you up" Bennett says trying to act as normal as possible when inmates walk past us.
" hey..what's up?" Bennett asks me tenderly quickly glancing round making sure no one is watching us.
" look I didn't mean to act like that back there I'm sorry" I say giving him a weak smile before I walk away.
I have a feeling that I shouldn't have said all that back there to the girls I am now rather nervous and on the look out a lot but so far everything seems fine so, I carry on as normal and got out my usual day.
I put on my over sized thick out door jacket they give us thinking it keeps us warm but it really just takes the edge off the cold. I walk outside breathing in the fresh bitter air as it fills my lungs. I shut my eyes and enjoy the moment " hey white girl" hear on my left. I open my eyes to see the crazy tall peurtorican girl shove past me nearly knocking me flying.
She laughs at me as I stumble slightly and she walks away.
I don't let her get to me so I carry on walking calmly outside and it is then that everything that has happened to me comes flashing back. I let the tears slip down my cheeks as I continued to walk feeling the breeze against my warm salty tears.
I decide to come back inside because it was turning fresh out there. I walk back to my dorm sighing with relief that it is empty. I climb on to my bed and lay down looking at the top of the bunk above me.
" Nastya, everything alright?" Bennett said bending down to my level.
" yeah I'm fine" I say wiping away the tears.
" your clearly not...what's happened?" Bennett asks softly.
" ugh...everything I just don't fit in and no one likes me" I say feeling sorry for myself.
" well...I like " he cleared his throat " I like you" I smile at him and he smiled back.
Bennett gets up and smiles at me before he slowly back out the room " I like you too" I say just before he leaves my dorm and we share a quick smile before he leaves.