Authors Note: I had this finished last week but have been hesitant to post it online, because apparently my rated M stories are too dirty and shouldn't be on this site. I have already had to delete three stories because of it. If it happens again, I will just stop posting on here and you can read these on tumblr or archive of our own.
writerlivinginadarkworld . tumblr . com - my tumblr page.
archiveofourown users / writerlivinginadarkworld / works - AO3 page.
Just in case you guys want to follow me over on those sites, because it would be a shame if you didn't get to read anymore. Thanks for reading.
The next couple of days were truly stressful for Loki and Frigga. Odin seemed to be hanging on by a string. I believed he was waiting for Thor to return to Asgard before he truly left us. I hated seeing Loki in that state of unrest. He was so nervous about the impending coronation. He still believed the whole of Asgard hated him for the things he had done in the past. I tried my best to calm Loki down, but it didn't seem to be working.
We were in our room after another long and stressful day.
"I do not understand what is taking Thor so bloody long to return. Does he not want to see father?" He wondered aloud while he paced back and forth.
"I am sure he will be here soon. He and Jane just had a baby." I said trying to get him to be a little apathetic.
He shook his head, "He should have been here days ago. He could have left Jane and the child in the care of the Avengers or something."
I didn't like the words that were coming from his mouth. "It is not that easy Loki. Would you leave your newborn child?" I had a feeling I wouldn't like his answer.
"Yes, especially if the matter was of great importance." He said easily. I frowned at his words.
He was still pacing. "Would you sit down or something? You are driving me crazy." I spoke.
Loki stopped and looked at me, "No, there is way too much to be done. Father isn't going to last much longer, and I am not sure I am ready t o take the throne. I do not know how my mother is holding up so well."
"It is going to be alright. You can do it, I have so much faith in you."
Suddenly he sent me an ice cold glare, "Faith does not get a whole kingdom to forgive you. I still have to gain the trust of the citizens of Asgard, and I am not sure that will go well."
I shrunk back at his words. He was beginning to scare me. "We have been over this before. You have been forgiven. Asgard will accept you with open arms."
"You must be blind if you have not seen the group of citizens who object me being on the throne. They would proudly do anything to rid Asgard of my presence." His voice rose a little bit. "I would not expect you to understand any of it. You grew up in a world much different from mine, you haven't been through the things I have been through. You cannot possibly understand how hard my father's death is on me."
All the things I had wanted to say to him died quickly. It was like he suddenly didn't know me at all. Like he forgot all of the stuff I had to go through as a child. Did he not remember I lost my mother at a young age, and my father could care less about me?
"I lost my mother Loki, and my father was not a part of my life. I know very well what you are going through." I defended.
He waved his hand in dismissal and started to pace again. "That is nothing. You were young, and you recovered from it all."
What the hell is wrong with him?
I stood up from the bed. "I never recovered from it, Loki. I blamed myself for years, I thought I had been the one to kill my mother and my father made me feel that way as well. If you think I have recovered from that, then you are sorely mistaken." Tears were beginning to form in my eyes. "You are being very selfish Loki. I cannot be around you right now." I started walking towards the door.
"I do not need you around me right now." He spat breaking my heart. Without turning around I quickly left the room.
I walked the halls until I found my secret hideout. No one would find me here. I could cry in solitude, and that is just what I did. It seemed that Loki could care less about me. What had I done to receive that kind of treatment from my husband? I just let my thoughts consume me for the rest of the afternoon.
That evening Thor and Jane had arrived with their baby. We met up with them in the dining hall. I made sure to keep my distance from Loki.
Both Thor and Jane were very happy to see me. "Luna, you are looking great. How have things been on Asgard?" Thor asked as he hugged me.
I put on a fake smile, "Good. I am sorry you had to return on such somber terms. Have you visited him yet?" I asked.
"Not yet. Mother will take me there after dinner."
Jane rushed over, handed Thor a small bundle, and pulled me into a hug. "I have missed you so much Luna!" When she let go of me, she took the bundle from Thor's arms. "I would like you to meet our daughter, Priya." She handed me the little bundle.
Snuggled into the blanket was the cutest little baby girl. She was awake and she smiled when she saw me. I was in love. She was so precious.
"Oh my, Jane. She is absolutely beautiful." I spoke not looking up from the little baby.
"She is." Thor spoke sounding very proud.
After a couple more minutes fawning over their daughter, I gave her back to Jane. We sat and prepared for dinner. I sat far away from Loki, and dared myself to glance up at him. He didn't even seem to be affected at all. My heart broke a little more. I tried my best to focus during dinner, but I found it very difficult. I ended up excusing myself early and bidding everyone a goodnight. I walked out without glancing back at Loki.
I had asked the maids to prepare my old chambers for the night, so I was sure that Frigga would know something was up sooner or later. Once I had reached the chambers, I quickly changed and collapsed in bed. Memories of my life were on constant replay in my dreams. Not the good memories either. I had a very restless sleep.
I awoke to a sweet voice talking to me, I knew it was Frigga.
"Good morning Frigga." I said sitting up in bed.
She was sitting on the edge of my bed, "Is there any reason why you and Loki are sleeping in separate chambers?"
I frowned and looked down, "He said some hurtful things yesterday. I could not face him last night. I do not think I can face him this morning either."
"Oh Luna. I am sorry for whatever he said. He is just under a lot of pressure right now, and he is letting it take over his emotions. I am sure he did not mean a word he said." She explained. "Things will be better after the coronation, I am sure of it."
More than anything I wanted to believe her, but there was doubt in the back of my mind. Just the way Loki had spoken to me, it was so unlike him. It almost felt like the Loki Thor had fought in New York. Dread filled me with that thought.
"Now child, I come bearing somber news. The Allfather has passed away this morning." Frigga said holding in her emotions. I quickly pulled her into a hug.
"I am so sorry Frigga." I whispered feeling the tears coming on again.
"Thank you, Luna. We will be meeting in the great hall in an hour. Then we will say our final goodbyes." She spoke before leaving me to get ready.
Jane and Thor were already in the great hall when I arrived. I was relieved to see that Loki had not yet arrived. I did not think I could face him today.
Jane smiled when she saw me, "Good morning, Luna." She said as I stopped beside her.
"Where is Loki?" Thor questioned.
"I do not know. I am not his keeper." I spoke a little too bitterly.
Jane frowned, "Trouble in paradise?"
"I do not want to talk about it." She respected my wishes and dropped the subject. Thor looked at me with a worried expression.
The day was full of emotions, and I was not sure how many more tears I could shed. By the time I retired back to my room, I had no more tears left to cry. I did not want to be disturbed by anyone, so I told the Guards to make sure no one bothered me. Tomorrow would be another long day. It would be Loki's coronation.
The morning seemed to come quickly and once I again I had a very restless sleep, but that didn't matter right now. I had a coronation to prepare for. Frigga had a dress made for me. It was a gorgeous golden yellow and long sleeved. It was perfect for me. I opted to get ready without the help if any maids, mostly so I could spend just a little more time alone before I had to face Loki or anybody else. Once I was satisfied with my appearance, I left to meet Jane and Thor.
I idly wondered how Loki was doing, and if he had finally managed to calm his nerves but I should not be worrying about him. Not after the things he had said to me.
"Are you alright?" Jane asked as we waited for the coronation to begin.
Once again I put on a fake smile, "I am fine."
"I can tell you are lying. Now spill." She mumbled making sure Thor couldn't hear us.
"I am worried about Loki." I confessed quickly.
"Have you talked to him?"
"No, I have not spoken to him in two days."
Her eyes widened, "Luna, you cannot go that long without speaking to your husband. You need to talk this little problem out."
"I am afraid it is not that easy. He said some unforgivable things about my past. He needs to be the one to apologize." Jane frowned thinking about my past.
"I am sorry, Luna. I think he feels regret for his actions." She whispered.
"Why do you say that?"
"Well he is looking at you with pure guilt in his eyes. He looks like he wants to speak to you." I turned my head to find Loki studying me. He cracked a small smile when I looked at him, I frowned and looked away from my husband. He was going to have to do better than that.
Throughout the coronation ceremony, I avoided looking at Loki. I feared that my resolve would crack and I would run back into his arms. I was having an internal war with myself, and knew I wasn't going to win in the end. I managed to successfully avoid Loki during the feast, which was a miracle.
At the end of the night I was headed to my chambers when a voice stopped me, "Luna, can I please speak with you?" Loki asked from behind me. I stopped short but did not turn to look at him.
"I do not think that is wise, my king." I added that as an afterthought.
He was right behind me now, "Please, Luna. I need to apologize for my actions." He grabbed my left hand, "You do not need to address me as your king, for I am your husband and you are my wife."
My walls finally broke down, "I will let you talk." I whispered. In a matter of seconds he led me back to our chambers. He led me to the bed and sat me on the edge, then he kneeled down in front of me.
"I am so sorry, my love. I had no right to say those things to you, even with the stress I was under. You deserve no such treatment." He looked down at the floor. "I am a poor excuse for a husband, which makes me a poor excuse for a king." He was barely whispering now.
I did not like to see him like this. "Your words hurt me, Loki."
He looked up at me again, "I am sorry for bringing up your past. I know how hard it was for you to lose your mother. You were only trying to make me feel better but I have forsaken that. I understand if you cannot forgive me. I do not deserve your forgiveness." Tears fell from his eyes. It was a heartbreaking scene.
I too had tears in my eyes, "I will forgive you eventually, but at the moment I need some time."
He nodded, "I respect that." I attempted to stand and excuse myself to my chambers, but Loki held onto my legs so I could not stand. "Please stay here with me. I cannot sleep without you by my side." I contemplated my options, but nodded in the end. "Thank you, my love."
After changing into my night clothes, I quietly got into bed. Loki joined me several minutes later. He whispered a goodnight, while looking at me longingly. I answered back and pulled the covers around me and attempted to get some sleep.
I was not asleep long before I shot up from a nightmare. There were tears running down my face. I had dreamt that Loki went off to war and never returned home alive. I could remember seeing his pale and bloody body unmoving in front of me.
I turned to find him sleeping beside me, and I let out a sigh of relief but the tears would not stop. The events of the dream were fresh in my mind, and I could not get the image of Loki out of my head.
Someone touched my shoulder, "Are you alright, darling?" Loki asked sleepily.
I wiped my tears away, "I-I had a nightmare that you went off to war and returned dead." I managed to get out.
His arms wrapped around my shoulders and pulled me into his chest. "Shhhh, I am alright, my love." He tried to soothe me.
"I do not want to lose you, Loki. You are everything to me, please say I will not lose you." I had wrapped my arms around him as well.
"You are not going to lose me. I am not going anywhere." He promised and rubbed my back to soothe me. "Go back to sleep." He whispered kissing my hair.
"I do not think I can. Every time I close my eyes, I just picture your dead body."
Loki continued to hold me close for a long while. I knew he wasn't going to go to sleep until I was alright.
"I-It is alright, Loki. Go back to sleep. I will be alright." I felt bad for keeping him awake after his long day.
"The tears on your face tell a different story. You are still very shaken up. Let me make you feel better, my love."
"How?"
His lips claimed mine in a sweet kiss. It felt nice to kiss Loki after two days of avoiding him. I had really missed him terribly, which is probably why I had that nightmare. He pulled away and looked to me for permission to continue. I nodded without a second thought. I wanted anything to help me forget about that horrific dream.
Loki kissed me again but this time he deepened the kiss. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him close. I needed him and he needed me. His hands began to wander on my body. Caressing me sweetly and treating me with nothing but respect. His actions told me how sorry he was for the things he said to me.
His hands gripped my waist and pulled me closer, at the same time, my night gown was sliding up. "I love you so much, Luna. I cannot believe I treated you the way I did. I am such an idiot and I do not know how to repay you." He whispered against my lips.
I wrapped my hands around his shoulders and pulled him close, "It will be a while until I can fully forgive you, but I forgive you Loki."
He kissed me gently, "Thank you, Luna. I will do everything in my power to make it up to you. I wish to bring you all the pleasure in the world." His lips traveled down to my neck, where he gently nipped me.
"Gods so help me, if you act that way again. I will not hesitate to walk out that door again. Next time I will not be coming back." I warned in a stern voice.
"I understand, and it will not happen again. I cannot lose you. You are the one who saved me from myself and I would be dumb to let that go. You are the love of my life." Loki smiled weakly before continuing to attend to my body. He was so gentle with the way he caressed and kissed my body.
He continued to pull my night gown up until my stomach was exposed. His lips traveled from my neck and down to my stomach. There he kissed me tenderly and began to move upwards again, until he finally pulled the gown over my head and let it fall to the floor. This left me exposed to him.
"These past two nights were hell without you. I could not sleep." Loki said before continuing his path back up my body. He stopped at my breasts and quickly caressed them making my nipples instantly pebble. "I wish I could take back everything I said to you." Before I could respond, he closed his lips over my left nipple. I moaned as he began to play with it. His hand handled the other one until he was done and moved onto the right nipple. All thoughts left my head, all I could think about was the feeling of Loki's lips pleasuring me.
He pulled away, causing me to groan at the loss. "Shhhh, my love. I am going to make sure you are thoroughly pleasured before the night is over." Loki's voice was fully of lust. He pushed himself off the bed and removed his clothes. "My queen deserves all the pleasure in the world. She deserves everything she could ever want." He spoke as he crawled back onto the bed.
"All I want is you, Loki." I moaned as his hands traveled up my legs and stopped at my thighs.
He quickly brought his lips to mine and kissed me passionately, "I am all yours, love."
Loki gripped my waist and pulled me close. I could feel his erection against my heat, he was more than ready. I grinded myself against him, telling him that I was ready. He kissed me and slid into me. Even after all these years together, it still took me a little bit to get used to his size. Once I started to move, Loki began to thrust into me. I wrapped my legs around his waist so he could thrust in deeper.
Even though it had only been a few days since we last had sex, it still was too long for me. My body missed his and he knew it.
"Oh Loki, you feel so good inside me." I moaned scratching his back and he thrust into me. He could almost make me forget while I was mad at him, almost.
"Are you getting close, darling?" He asked picking up the pace a little bit.
"Yes, oh yes. Keep moving." I said scratching so hard that I was creating deep marks on his back.
"Me too. Let me help you out." One of his hands traveled between us and found my clit. He began to rub slow circles on it, driving me crazy. My body was humming with pleasure and I was getting so close to my climax. "Let go darling." My body seemed to be listening because I hit that ultimate high and threw my head back moaning really load. My orgasm triggered his and he came deep inside of me and pulled me close as we rode out the pleasure together.
Once we were finished, he was hesitant to pull out of me but he did. He cleaned us up before pulling me close and pulling the covers over us.
"I can never tire of you, Luna. You were made for me." Loki said sounding tired.
"I love you, Loki." I mumbled snuggling closer to him.
I felt him small against my skin, "I love you too. Get some sleep, my love." He kissed my forehead as I was drifting off. I fell asleep in his arms, feeling better after the past two days. I couldn't live without Loki and he knew that. I was right where I belonged, in his arms.