"Chris I, I have something important to tell you." Wesker shuffled his feet, not looking at the man in front of him. "I love you. It's okay if you don't return the feelings, I just need to tell someone. And if anyone deserves to know how I truly feel, that person is you."
"Hey Captain did you see the wreck on the news?" Barry waddled in.
The Captain sighed, and halted his practice.
"What have I told you about knocking, Bartholomew?" The blonde sat down and placed his head in his hands. Why must he deal with such ignorant side characters?
"Uhm," The married male did not know what to say. "I dunno." He just stood there now.
Staring.
"Prolonged eye contact is not very good for your job." Wesker growled. "Please leave."
"But the wreck!"
"You think I give a shit about some cars deciding to have sex in the middle of the highway?!"
"We're S.T.A.R.S.! We're supposed to care! And how did you know it was on the highway?"
Cue illuminate music.
"I, er, didn't. It was a guess." The blonde hid the stray tire popper that was on his desk.
"Hmm." Barry began to think. Shit, stop that Barry! You're breaking the fourth wall!
"Huh? Who's there?"
No one.
"WHO ARE YOU?! Why are you in my head?!"
I'm-uh-I'm you're... Conscious. Yes. I am your voice of reasoning.
"Really? Well, what should I do?"
You should go, (jump off a bridge?) (Shoot your skull in?) (Have sex with Brad?) (Have a threesome with Forest and Brad?) (Be useful in the plot to this story?) (What plot even is there by now?) kill yourself.
"What?! Why would I do that?!"
Because I said so.
Barry slowly grabbed the gun on Wekser's (who was now knocked out don't ask how just know he is.) desk and aim-
"WAIT! I'm not doing this!"
Sorry Barry. I'm the author, and what I type/write goes.
"Oh yeah?! Well how's this for fourth wall breaking!"
NO DON'T DO TH-