Hey: this is an awesome chapter so I won't keep you: just thought I'd let you know that The Princess of Mirkwood has been fully revised. Okay, love you, read on!
"Let's set up camp here for tonight," Fili announced, sliding his pack off his shoulders and letting it bump into the ground with a soft thump. We had pulled the boat under a thicket of bushes in the hopes that it would not be found, but were too fatigued to do much else. We were only about a hundred years from the shore of the lake, but night had settled over the world, and we all were exhausted.
It was beautiful here. The lake stretched out like a shimmering blanket reflecting stars and moon nearly without imperfection. Chunks of ice glided along the surface of the water, occasionally bumping into one another and sending ripples careening across the surface, only to still moments later. The moon had risen and now hung suspended like a jewel over the water, its light yellow since it had risen such a short time before. Its twin floated just below the surface, its light shattered and beautiful all the same. Before long I knew that the twin's glow would turn silver and wash everything in the light the elves loved so much.
The beauty, though distracting, did not help to completely quell the fear and apprehension in my heart. It was at least a two day hike to the gates of Erebor, assuming we stopped to rest and eat, and honestly… I was worried about what we could find there. Assuming that Thorin and the others had survived, it would mean that other dwarves would come; that my time in the company would be over. Assuming they had not made it, Fili was the king and Kili was the crown prince. I would give my all to protect them both.
Once we had gathered enough dry wood from around the camp, an easy feat considering how few times it ever rained this far east, Oin set to work building a fire. Kili and I moved around him, piling up large rocks to circle around the fire to prevent sparks from torching the vegetation in the nearby area.
This done, we set down our bedrolls and lay them close to where the fire would be, moving as near to it as possible without courting the possibility of being burned. Oin was done quickly, although it took him longer alone than if his brother had been with him, and a merry blaze was crackling in the pit in minutes. The five of us huddled around it, sharing blankets and cloaks to keep warm in the cold October night. Fili and Kili sat on either side of me, our blankets resting on each other's shoulders like they had during the nights of midnight watch before we reached the Misty Mountains. We did our best to seem light and happy, although everyone but I had a brother or uncle or cousin missing in the mountain that loomed dark and cold above us. We shared hardtack and dried meat, and then told stories, watching our breath spiral up towards the stars.
"When Uncle first began teaching Fili to shoot," Kili began, a mischievous grin crossing his face, "I feel that he had too much faith in him. See, I learned to shoot a bow when I was very young, and by the time Fili learned…" He cleared his throat, glancing away at his brother's warning look. "Ahem. Well, I had more experience, and we'll leave it at that. Well, Thorin was teaching him one day, and I was out watching and fetching the arrows that missed the target. So… all of the arrows, really. Anyway, Fili was getting really frustrated, and Thorin was telling him to use more force to guide the arrow. So there's Fili, being shown up by his little brother, and he pulls back on the bowstring so hard that the bow actually snaps in half, flies back, and smacks him in the face." I laughed loudly, doubling over. Bofur and Oin chuckled as well, and even Fili held back a grin. "He's still got the scar from it," Kili added, grinning widely. Fili fingered a small white line almost completely hidden by his braided mustache, and he grinned at me. "And so he picks up another bow, fuming, and doesn't notice that I—"
Fili suddenly cleared his throat and stood. His smile had vanished. The blanket that had been draped over both out shoulders slipped off. I craned my neck and stared up at him, confused by his pained expression. "We should rest," he announced. "We leave early tomorrow."
The mirth that had warmed the group faded as the others moved around and settled into their places around the fire. Fili sank down on my other side, sighing heavily, and placed his head in his hands. I moved closer to Kili, who wrapped his arm around me to rest on my back, and rested my cheek on his shoulder. "What happened?" I asked Fili softly.
"I didn't see Kili behind the target," he whispered, voice filled with pain. "We were in the woods, see, and he was hidden, running off to fetch some missing arrow. I was angry, and I didn't pay attention to where he was. My next shot went wild, and..." I could imagine what happened next, and I pictured it in my mind as he spoke. A young, impulsive Fili pulling back and releasing the string, but losing his grip. Watching as the arrow flew off to the left into the leaves. Turning around to ask his brother a question as a blood-chilling scream splits the air. A tiny, terrified Kili screaming and falling to the ground clutching the shaft of an arrow. The connection between the shot and the scream registers first for Thorin, and then for Fili, and the uncle darts off towards the younger brother. A small Fili, panicked and horrified at what his actions had caused, running for his baby brother, the one he loved most. A pale Thorin scooping up the injured dwarfling and running as fast as the wind back to the healer and to Dís and Kiri, leaving a small, frightened Fili alone in the woods to cry and follow after his family. "I nearly lost him," Fili whispered, curling his fingers in his hair and tugging on one of the braids there. "I nearly killed him, Aeyera. I don't want others to know the story, but since I expect we'll know each other a long time, you might as well."
"That's why you were so adamant about staying in Laketown," I realized. My heart warmed at the show of affection between the elder brother and the younger, and I felt tears prick my eyes.
The golden-haired heir nodded. The fire caught in his eyes and sent shadows dancing across his regal features. It might have been a trick of the light, but for a moment I could have sworn that I saw a crown perched upon his brow. "I belong with my brother," he said, his deep voice full of emotion.
I nodded, unable to speak past the lump in my throat. So much love flowed between the two brothers. They would do anything to protect one another, and would never leave each other. I thought back to when the stone giant had separated the two of them; how terrified they both were at being forced away from the other. I wondered if they had ever been forcefully separated before. I wondered again how close my brother and I would have been had I not been exiled. I loved him; I would always love him, but I wondered now if I loved him as much as I once had. I chose the company over him.
'No,' my thoughts interrupted gently. 'You chose Kili over him.'
Fili stood and went to his bedroll, leaving Kili and I together watching the fire. I added a pair of branches to the flames, watching as beads of sap snapped and exploded into sparks.
"Kili?" I whispered.
"Hm?"
"The other night, you…" I swallowed, suddenly terrified. My brother's ring suddenly became remarkably interesting, and I twisted it around my finger with quaking hands. "You asked me something. You had a fever, and I don't know if you remember, but you asked—" my throat was as dry as a desert, and my tongue felt like wood. "You asked if I could have loved you. And then you… You asked—" I couldn't breathe. I couldn't finish. He watched me with wide, curious eyes, and I choked. I couldn't do it. I sat back, falling off the log, and scrambled to my feet, dusting off my tunic with shaking hands. "Never mind. Forget it."
"Aeyera—"
"I'll take first watch, you go to sleep." Without waiting for a reply, I darted into the nearest tree, hiding in the foliage.
"Aeyera." I shook my head even though he could not see me, wrapping my arms around my knees. "Aeyera, come down." When I didn't reply, he sighed and walked away. I relaxed, but tensed a moment later when he returned, dragging his bedroll behind him. "If you won't come down, I'll sit here until morning. You know… to protect you. From danger, and… stuff." He settled down and pulled his blanket up over his legs, leaning back against the trunk. "Do you mind if I talk?" he asked. "I prefer to talk than to sit quietly." He waited for a reply, but since none were forthcoming, he continued. "I first noticed you at Bilbo's house," he began. I shifted, my eyebrows furrowing together. "You were hooded, remember? And you were so afraid that we would reject you because of your past. You were brave, as well, and you stood up to Thorin even when he had you pinned; literally." He sighed. "I wish I could have kept you from getting hurt. And I wish we hadn't fought so often. It was all over nothing, wasn't it? Like Fili's courtship; you asked if I was engaged and I ignored you for a week."
"It was only a few days," I whispered, looking down at him through the branches.
"Yes, I suppose so," he mused, pleased that I had answered. I could see the dimples appear in his cheeks as he smiled, although they were nearly covered by his beard. "But it felt like a year. Even then I hated when we fought; I was just too prideful to admit it." I smiled slightly; I always thought so as well. We were very similar in that respect, I supposed, though I had tried to make amends before he had. "Do you remember the stone giants? I was so afraid when you and Fili were torn away, I didn't… I was terrified you weren't going to make it. I was afraid I had lost both of you forever." I looked away, biting my lip. A pinecone rested a few feet away, and I recalled the events of Goblin Town with a shudder, once again feeling the bite of the whip against my back and feet. "And then you were alive, and I was so overjoyed. Right after that, we were captured by goblins. Aeyera, when you took my place down there, I—" he let out a shuddering breath and clenched his fists so tightly that his knuckles turned white. "I still want to yell at you for that, honestly, even though I am thankful. And that wasn't even the first time, either—You saved my life before Rivendell by jumping in front of that warg, and in the goblin caves. You saved Uncle even though you could barely walk by standing up to Azog even though he had tortured you. You pushed me out of the way at Beorn's house and were nearly bitten in half. You stood up for all of us in your father's palace even though you could've walked away; they didn't recognize you. You gave Fili hope even when he was lost, by reminding him of the love he holds for Kída. You healed me, Aeyera, when I was dying from that blasted arrow wound. Aeyera, I can never repay you for what you've done for me, but I will spend a lifetime trying." He paused for a moment. He seemed to be thinking hard about something, and I caught the look of regret he gave the lake as he gazed at it sadly. "I wish we hadn't fought."
"I do too," I whispered, hugging my knees to my chest. My heart ached; I yearned to be near him, but I was too afraid.
"But we made it out," he said softly.
I laughed gently. "We always do."
"And we always will," he finished. I jerked in surprise and nearly fell off my branch. I gripped it with a shaking hand and stared down at him. "Aeyera, I know I haven't known you for very long. I know there are others you've known for decades longer than I who care about you, but I want you to know that none of them could ever love you as much as I do." I sat up, pressing my hand against my mouth as hot tears spilled onto my cheeks. "Aeyera, I want to spend the rest of my life with you. And I know I might sound selfish, and I don't want to hurt you if I die and you're left alone. I won't do that to you if you don't want me to. But Aeyera, I love you." He laughed, his voice choked with emotion. "I love you more that I can say, more than I ever can express. I want to spend the rest of my life with you, Aeyera."
He stood and faced me, turning his face upward so that he was illuminated by the moon and starlight even as shadows from the leaves dappled his face. I leapt from the tree and landed in front of him, tears drying on my cheeks. I knew I had to make my choice. Because of my mother's blood, I could choose a mortal life. I knew I would age differently that mortal men, or even dwarves, but I would do it. For him. I would live, and then I would die, but I would be with him. Always.
He reached out and touched my cheek with feather-light fingertips, looked apprehensive. His eyes were full of love, and my heart felt as though it would burst. "Aeyera, I love you. I've can't remember a time when I didn't. It's as if this whole time my heart knew exactly who it was looking for: you." He knelt down until he rested on one knee, the other in front of him. His right hand held mine gently whilst his left hand took my other one, and then he brought them together. "Aeyera, Princess of Mirkwood, member of the Company of Thorin Oakenshield. I love you more than any other. More than Fili, more than my mother, more than Thorin, and I always will. We have had our adventures, and now I ask you to join me for another one, one that we will only take together: will you do me the honor of becoming my wife?"
He gazed up at me with dark eyes that reflected and shone with the light of the stars, and I saw my mother's constellation there. He radiated such joy, such hope—My heart swelled and pounded against my ribs, and my mind raced with thoughts. What would happen were I to marry him? Who would accept an elf as a princess of a dwarf kingdom? I couldn't bear children—or could I? I thought about the wound that had healed, and a sudden hope grew within me as well. What if I could have children now? I wanted nothing more than to be a mother, than to have a family—and yet I wanted nothing more than to protect Kili and Fili and Thorin, either. What if I failed because I was Kili's wife? What if Thorin didn't accept me? What if—?
I suddenly knew: I didn't care. As long as I could spend the rest of my life with him, with Kili, I was content. I nodded my head rapidly, letting out a breath I didn't know I had been holding, a smile breaking across my face. "Yes. Oh, Kili, yes!"
His face lit up, and he took me by the waist and picked me up, spinning me around and laughing. When he set my feet on the ground, we stood very close together. Our hands were intertwined between us, resting on his chest. "Kili, I love you." I suddenly couldn't form another coherent thought. "I love you, I love you, I love you."
We stood for a while, our foreheads pressed together, before a hearty laugh broke out from behind us. We both turned to see Fili standing before the fire, hands on his hips, a kind smile on his face. "Congratulations, little brother," he said warmly, striding over and clasping both of our shoulders. "And sister, I suppose." He winked at me, and I smiled brightly, my heart singing. "It took you long enough," he added good-naturedly to his brother.
Kili laughed. "How long have you known?" he asked. His eyes crinkled when he smiled, nearly disappearing.
"That you carried a torch for her?" he clarified. "Well before now. Before Rivendell, even. I can't put my finger on a date, precisely. I knew you loved each other, though, even if you both were too stubborn and hard-headed to see it." He rested his lips against my forehead, then Kili's, and then backed up and smiled softly at us both. "I wish you the best," he said. "Now get some sleep. We have a long hike tomorrow. It's my watch."
We nodded and followed him back to the fire, Kili dragging his bedroll behind him. We pulled our things close together and sat down, parallel to the fire so the light shone on both of us. Kili took down the messy braids in my hair and brushed through it with his fingers, gently removing the knots and tangles from it. He then began to braid an intricate design into my hair, weaving piece after piece together beginning near my right eye and travelling down behind my ear.
"It's a courtship braid," he explained softly. "Fili can show you how to give me one tomorrow. It shows that you are betrothed to me." He smiled so brightly the stars were put to shame. He finished, binding it with a single silver bead. It was simple, but it had an intricate design etched upon it that matched the design on Kili's hair-clasp. "The bead is supposed to be a symbol," he told me. "But I do not have a courtship beat yet. When we reach the mountain I will find or make a real one for you." He leaned forward and kissed my cheek, managing to catch the corner of my mouth. "I love you Aeyera." "I love you Kili," I murmured. We lay down facing one another. Fili moved to the edge of the firelight and sat guarding us against whatever lurked in the shadows. Kili's eyes drifted shut, a smile on his lips. His breathing evened out as he relaxed, and the scent of pipe weed hung in the air from Fili's pipe. It was a comforting smell, somehow, reminding me of the years spent with the Dúnedain. That journey was over, I realized, accepting it with grace. I was surprised to realize that I felt no sadness, no grief that the life I had missed for so long was now gone; only peace. Lost whom I had lost had moved on, and it was time I did as well. I gazed at Kili with love, my heart full to bursting with joy. Another journey had just begun, and I intended to make it last as long as I could.
I reached over and brushed a strand of hair out of his face, letting my fingers rest against his skin was hot; burning like the sun and the forges his kin loved so much. Mine was cold, like the light of the stars and moon. Together we were beautiful, shining like the sky. I leaned over and kissed him in the same manner he had kissed me, allowing tears of joy to escape my eyes and trickle down my face. In that moment, I knew what my choice was, and I knew I would never regret it. I felt my heart thrum with life, pulsing with new life as I whispered the words that would change mine and Kili's lives forever.
'I choose a mortal life.'