Mike threw his pen across the room and slammed his journal shut, frustrated he couldn't understand the meaning of everything. Everything was in flashes. Colors. Broken memories. There had to be a reason why he came back to life. There had to be some purpose.
He died. For six minutes he was dead and everything changed. He had been given a second chance. To try and right his wrongs. Fix his mistakes. He couldn't begin to count how many mistakes he had made since returning to Graceland. But now he understood how much his actions hurt Paige and he wanted to fix things. If he was being honest with himself, things ended between them months ago, long before she sent Sid after him. Part of him was always going to love her, because when he looked at her, he couldn't help but remember that first night he saw her. But he didn't know what she thought when she looked at him. If she hated him. And even if she did, he still wanted to fix things for her. They both needed to find a way to move forward and put everything behind them. Find someway to forgive each other.
Which was why he needed to see Paige. He knew Paige better than he knew anyone. Mike had known the truth about what happened Lena would devastate her and end any chance of them being together, but he did it anyway. He also knew why she was avoiding him.
Paige thought he hated her. And maybe he should. But they had both done terrible things to each other. Hurt each other again and again. He knew how she felt. Making a mistake she couldn't take back. Feeling alone and carrying the weight of that secret was killing her. She once accused him of being lost and maybe he had been. But how he felt last summer was nothing compared to how he felt this summer. He felt alone. Like a failure. Then he died and suddenly he had a chance to try and fix some of the many mistakes he made.
Mike needed to look Paige in the eyes and let her know he forgave her. Let that truth sink in for her and hope it would be enough to pull her out of the darkness, before she drowned in guilt and her determination to catch Sid got her killed.
Paige wouldn't see him, but it hadn't stopped him from asking about her. His roommates were holding something back, but he knew them well enough to read between the lines. Paige was depressed. Moody. Distancing herself from everyone as she desperately tried to find a way to catch Sid, which was why he wanted Briggs in charge. As far as Sid knew, Briggs didn't know his cover had been blown, they could use that. Paige broke her cover the moment she went to Sid. It was too dangerous. She could wind up getting herself killed, which was exactly what he was afraid of.
Mike's eyes darted towards the door, carefully watching the shadows along the bottom of the door. Something was off. Someone was outside of his room. His heart started racing and his finger hovered over the call button, wishing he had his gun with him. Apparently to hide in plain sight, meant he couldn't hide at all and he was unprotected and no one would give him a gun. As long as Sid believed he was dead, he was supposedly safe.
He felt so trapped in this room. He had been here for days, cut off from the outside world, except for his roommates. They all stopped by to visit, with the exception of the one he needed to see. It was just like before. He got hurt and told Paige something he wasn't supposed tell her. He hadn't even realized what he said until Sid revealed to him that Paige was the one that gave him up, then everything started to make sense. He didn't even have time to fully register what that meant, before Sid was cutting off his oxygen supply.
The shadow went away and Mike relaxed. It must've been someone's family member searching for their hospital room. A few seconds passed and he noticed another shadow. But within seconds it was gone. He kept staring at the door, waiting for someone to enter but each time the shadow slowed down, it kept moving, but the speed was the same and it kept moving from left to right, then right to left and back again. It was if someone was pacing outside his door, unsure if they should enter.
Paige.
Mike carefully climbed out of bed, grimacing in pain. He gritted his teeth, breathing slowly as he waited for the pain to pass. He leaned against the bed, counting to ten, until finally the pain subsided. He groaned in agony and took a few deep breaths and looked longingly at his morphine drip. As badly as he wanted more morphine, he didn't want to have this conversation with Paige while he was out of it. Resting his hand over his stomach, he dragged his IV behind him as he slowly he made his way to the door.
Mike opened the door, expecting to see Paige only to see a few nurses walking down the hall Mike looked around the hall, his heart sinking once he realized Paige wasn't there. He knew Paige had been here. What other person would've paced outside his door, unable to enter? Defeated, Mike stepped back into his room and closed the door behind him and shuffled back to his bed. The brief physical activity exhausted him and his stomach was throbbing in pain. It took more effort than it should've, but he managed to get himself back in bed without aggravating his injury or needing to call for help. A shot of pain flashed through his stomach and as the seconds went by, he found himself reaching for the button of his morphine drip.