Armin supposed the sight was a bit odd: Eren perched up high in a tree, hugging the trunk like a lifeline and Lance Corporal Levi at the base, hurling daggered stares and curses the other's way. The two had quite a strange relationship he thought; if they had to work so near each other, shouldn't they at least try to get along a bit better? He wondered what had gotten the Corporal to fume like this.
"G-guys? What's going on?" Armin asked a little too quietly.
"Get down here so I can kill you, shit face!"
"Why the hell would I do that?! I'm staying up here until you calm the hell down!"
"Hey guys?" he spoke up this time.
"Calm down you say? Do I look upset to you? I only want to cut off a few limbs, dumb shit. Maybe your head."
"Someone want to tell me what's going on?" the blonde tried to put more urgency in the words.
"What the hell were you even carrying tea for, you dumb fuck?!"
"It was for you god dammit!"
"Do I look like I need your shitty tea?"
"GUYS! Will you just shut up for one second and tell me what the hell you're yelling about?!"
As the rabble quieted, Armin realized it was because he had been screaming. His cheeks flushed—he tried to keep his composure when he could, but when he lost it people tended to look at him weirdly. He cleared his throat, as if inciting their responses.
Levi sent one last sharp stare toward Eren before sheathing his blade. He turned to face the small blonde, crossing his arms and glaring at him like why'd you have to come ruin my fun, you shit?
"Eren spilled his shitty tea all over my papers. Any other questions?" he said neutrally.
"It was an accident!" Eren cried from the tree.
Levi shot him such a pointed glare that the teen visibly flinched, gripping tighter to the bark of the tree.
Armin blinked in confusion. "You're chasing him down, blades drawn, because he spilled his cup of tea?"
Levi's eyes narrowed, "You got a problem with that, Arlert?" His hand traveled back down to the swords at his side.
Armin gulped.
"W-well I mean…He said it was an accident. And besides, spilled tea shouldn't have caused any permanent damage to the papers—maybe some stains and a little crinkling but if let out to dry they'd be fine. In fact, the ink would've only smeared if someone had tried to wipe away the mess…"
The Corporal's hand gripped the hilt of his blade, "Just what are you trying to say, brat?"
Armin spoke, resolute despite his superior's toxic glare, "Any real damage, sir, was probably caused by whoever tried to clean up the mess," he continued, slightly quieter, "Which I assume was you, sir."
That had been the wrong thing to say. Levi's sword was drawn with undo speed and pointed at the blonde's neck. The Corporal's disinterested gaze had once again filled with fire. Armin raised his arms on immediate instinct. He grimaced slightly, but stayed his ground.
"I'd watch that mouth of yours, cadet. That is…unless you'd like a taste of my steel as well?" His brow lowered treacherously. A slim finger ran down the blade's flat, calling attention to its razor sharp edge.
Eren shifted uncomfortably in the tree, "Armin you might want to run now."
Intelligent blue eyes fell upon the Corporal; they were filled with an odd determination despite there being a blade drawn at their owner. "Of course, the initial incident was obviously Eren's fault."
The latter gave an indignant squawk, "Hey! I—"
Armin shot him a look and the brunette quickly shut his trap. Armin returned his attention to the one before him.
He took a breath before continuing, "And despite his guilt in said incident, it seems that it was just an accident—and one out of kindness at that, I mean, he said the tea he brought was for you, so isn't it a little extreme to run after him with the intent to kill?"
The Corporal's entire face distorted in disgust. Armin could see the answer written plainly there: No, not extreme in the least. Levi's blade didn't budge.
"Ya' know…maybe you should take Eren's advice, huh Arlert?" Lance Corporal Levi examined the long edge of his sword with new found interest.
Armin began spewing out his logic again when Levi's boot inched forward, "W-wait! Eren may be an idiot, but really there's just no sense in harming him!" Seeing those fiery eyes again he added, "Or me."
Levi scoffed, "Tch! Well what do you want me to do then? Let you little shits get away with whatever the hell you please? Hold hands and skip into the sunset with Eren McShitface, the brat who destroyed my vital documents?"
"Excuse me?!" Eren really wasn't helping Armin's case. Levi's head snapped back to look at the tree-bound teen with such vigor it was a miracle his neck didn't snap.
"No, sir! I'm just saying there are other ways to punish him…ways that won't cause any strife to the army should battle break out." Armin was starting to worry his argument was all in vain. At this rate, the Corporal would have them both disfigured by dinnertime.
Levi reluctantly lowered his sword—a great relief to the one whose neck it was aimed at. He didn't quite sheath it, but having its point away from a throat was progress enough. Levi sighed, blatantly fed up, "Your logic is starting to get on my nerves, brat. Just what the hell kind of punishment are you suggesting?"
That was good. It seemed the Corporal could understand logical reasoning after all. Armin piqued at the cooperation he was finally receiving. He racked his brain, What kind of punishment would the Corporal find satisfying? Eren looked incredulously down on the situation.
"I'm waiting," Levi demanded.
"Well, of course his cleaning sucks…so that's not an option…" Armin began to speak his thought process.
Eren was opening his mouth to protest but decided against it. He'd leave this to the one with actual negotiation skills.
"But some kind of difficult labor…something that must be done often—like taking care of the horses in the stables."
"That's not good enough. He does that normally. I'd rather pare his flesh." Levi had put away his blade, his arms now crossed.
Eren watched helplessly as they discussed his fate.
"Right, but he normally has help, no? Stable work is usually done by multiple hands along with shift changes. You could make him do it all alone."
"Oh?"
"Yeah. That way he has to work long and hard, sun up to sun down, with time only to eat, sleep, and train a bit."
"ARMIN!" Eren didn't approve of this plan, but no one really paid him any attention.
"I see…but what if he just does the shitty half-assed job he does with everything else, eh?"
Eren buried his face in his palms. What did I do to myself? I should've only made tea for myself…
"Well, he wouldn't be distracted by his comrades like usual. He'd be forced to focus on the job at hand. And on top of that, you could threaten to beat him if he does a bad job—that way he'd be scared into working harder, or you can give him the beating he deserves if he doesn't."
"I thought the point was to get him to not beat me…" Eren grumbled. Again, no one was listening.
It was quiet as Corporal Levi considered his options. Eren was willing to take the beating at this point.
"Alright, Arlert. I won't kill him."
Armin breathed a sigh of relief.
Levi glared up to Eren, still perched up high in the tree, "Get down here, shit face. You've got work to do."
The Corporal turned heel and began to walk back in. Armin stepped forward to help Eren down when Levi stopped him. He pressed his shoulder almost painfully into Armin's, and leaned in to whisper in his ear, "Watch that damn mouth of yours, Arlert. I'm not afraid to slice you up."
Levi walked casually into the building. Armin was frozen in place; Did I just make a huge mistake? His thoughts were broken by the sound of Eren falling out of the tree. He rushed over his friend and lent him a hand. Eren refused to take it, still salty from Armin's betrayal.
"Thanks a lot, Armin," he said bitterly.
"At least you're not dead," Armin retorted, optimistically.
The two reentered in silence. Though Eren would never admit it out loud, he was really thankful to Armin for what he had done. After all, Corporal Levi was humanity's strongest, and boy did his kicks reflect that.