Why was life such a cunt at times and goodness what do I even do here all by myself?
These were the questions that kept on coming in my head again and if someone tries to rape me?

I know you might think I am extremely paranoid or worse mentally unstabble but the truth is I was very close to being raped when I was only a kid of seven years,yes I know I am no longer the same old fragile me but such events do leave a horrible effect on your brain.I still remember the day as if it was yesterday,My parents were out and I was home alone and we had a creepy kind of a teenage boy across the street who used to come to our place and used to wash the cars on the weekend and by that way he used to make his monthly allowance,his name was Sean and just thinking about him gives me the creeps.

Hell that boy was creepy.
He had knocked on the door and I was freshly out of the shower smelling of apricot because that was the scrub I used to use those I unlocked the door he was standing before me,his hair slightly disheveled and the first two buttons of his shirt were open in a total I don't care about what people might say because truly I do not give a fuck kind off way.
His lips were curved so that he was partly smiling and his face was looking down right sinister and the minute my eyes met his I knew that he was up to no good and boy my sixth sense was never more right.

I was in a baggy pair of shorts which were light blue in color and hugging my body perfectly and I had white cotton shirt over which showed a bit of my cleavage but when your seven years old you basically don't have any breasts so its not like that my cleavage was the thing that lured him to me,his intentions from the beginning were purely evil.

Sean had leaned in close to get a whiff of me and told me that I smelled really nice and the dumb ass I was I still couldn't get it that he was sexually harassing me and that I need to bang the door on his face and run as far as possible.

He slowly opened the door wider and my eyes were bulging out of their sockets and suddenly I felt him press into me,at that time I was an innocent and every child is and I had no idea that the thing he was trying to press into me was a boner and the proof of him being sexually excited because of me, the thought just repulses me and thats why I haven't had sex with anyone yet because frankly I am just too scared and I can't let my old demons go.

As I was telling you before I lost my train of thought so that little fucker was mockingly smiling at me and then grabbed my hand and dragged me to the kitchen and I was becoming more and more bewildered by that,what wrong with him?

"Hey mom and dad aren't home so you can come back later?"I had said in a voice which was not much above a whisper.
"Baby your so so so stupid,the reason I am here is because your parents aren't.I do not want to see them and its for the best that they are not home"He said while smirking at me in a sardonic way.

"Sean why would you want to see me?"I asked him because I was honestly surprised back then.
"I..well ..Ana,I want to do this to you" and then he had started to plant firm kisses on my neck and was trailing the way down.
I knew I had to stop him because his touch was just making me cry but when I tried to push him away,I was unable to move him since he was about ten years older than me and than an instinct older than age it self told me that he was interested in taking me out of my panties,I do not know how I knew back then okay maybe I used to watch movies but still so I tried running away but he was far too quick to catch me and I had started to sob "Please let me go!" I literally begged but he just became more and more determined and said not so fast,I am not done with you.

And that just made me cry more,his disgusting fingers started to unbutton my shirt and he took my shirt out and I had just stood there paralyzed with fear.
Sean was looking at me appreciatively and that was making me sick and then he started to move his fingers around my nipples and then bent down and even licked them and like he wasn't satisfied with all he was doing he literally had to pull both of us on a couch in the living room,him on top of me while I kicked like my life depended on it because it just might bit my nipple and not in the fun way either but properly bit it and I screamed but as if he was anticipating that he covered my mouth with his hand so that no sound will be able to escape and then he just started to take his shirt off softly making it seem like we were lovers when in real I hated him with every ounce of my being.

Then again he began his torture and this time he hands went inside my panties and he started to rub patterns on my private place.
I was startled and lay motionless and he easily took my shorts off and then planted his mouth of my vaginal opening and started to suck the motion shocked me to my very core and silent tears were coming out of my eyes.

I couldn't understand what exactly was happening then but I knew that it was very wrong.I prayed to god to send an angel and I think god listened because just then I heard footsteps but I thought I was going delusional because as far as I knew noone was in the house except the two of us but then I heard Christian's voice "Hey where are you Ana,I rang the bell several times and when no one answered I just came in through your window"

Oh I was so happy he was here! and just then I felt Sean move away from me and run probably because Christian was only four years younger than Sean and Christian knew kick boxing which made him much stronger than Sean and he would have kicked Sean's ass.
And what was I doing you might ask? well I was sobbing silently into the pillow too afraid to speak.
Finally after ten minutes Christian was able to find me and the sight he must have seen must have shocked him and I know it looked like I had been raped but thankgod there was no sexual intercourse.

Christian was my savior,His wide grey orbs met my blue ones for a second but then I looked down since I was too ashamed to face him."Hey look at me baby"He said softly.
And so I did."Yes?"
"What on earth happened Anastasia who was the fucker who did this to you?"

"Christian.."I said pleadingly.
"Baby I need to know this"he said firmly but with a tenderness that I didn't know he possessed.
"Christian I don't want to talk about it?"I had said literally begging him.
"Tell me"He said while he started to pick my shirt up and started to put it back on me when I started to cry horribly again.

"Hey,hey"He said bewildered and then just picked me up and sat down and made my sit in his lap like a baby and I just started to hug him inhaling the scent of him because he smelled like safety.
"Its going to be alright sweetheart"He promised and I had believed him.