"I may have just lied to you," Tannis stormed into Jack's office without knocking and tried (unsuccessfully) to wrangle a strange triangular object with glowing purple markings on it from Jack. "The Eridian writing on the artifact from Promethea is illegible, yes, but now that I have translated the new satellite imagery from Pandora, I have concluded that this object was purposefully broken into pieces to hinder its accidental use! If my hypotheses are correct - which they always are - this Key needs to be reassembled and activated to access a certain place of great importance, as the keys are usually wont to do. Also, on the way here my ECHO scroll expressed very disturbing revelations about the sentient tacos ruling our society. You might want to look into that."
"Listen, brothers and sisters, and listen well! This is Comrade Vladof, the voice of the revolution. Your oppressors have gathered! They have sharpened their swords and have assembled their forces! Now is the time to strike! Now is the time to topple their towers of money and lies! And as their fist is readying to punish the masses, Vladof has only one question to ask you: are you ready to fight back? There is only one way to stop your corporate dictators: bloody, bloody revolution. Are. You. Ready?!"
"How the hell did Torgue of all people learn of Pandora?"
"I dunno."
"Angel, you have a brain the size of a planet. Torgue has a brain the size of a peanut." Jack digistructed a snack of peanuts from a vending machine and ate one. "Don't give me 'I dunno'."
"From what I gathered, he is not the only one orbiting Pandora right now."
"I can take 'em all, angel. Roll it on me."
…
"How in the name of God did they all learn of Pandora?"
"I dunno."
The space shuttle shuddered and metal screeched as it was shot on by three distinct fleets. The kinetic shield had been punctured and depleted just a few seconds after the shuttle's arrival; the shock Dust ordinance was replaced by acid almost immediately, showing a great amount of skill among the attackers. Salvador had only a moment to think of a solution before the tin can exploded and he grinned as an idea came to him. Rushing towards a fast-travel station in the cargo bay, he hammered a request for the nearest enemy fleet. A CL4P-TP steward bot helpfully unlocked its own location for travel.
The blue glow of digistruct technology reduced him to little less than matter, transferred all the data towards Crimson Lance battleship, and reconstructed Salvador and his gear in the middle of a hangar bay. A number of Lance soldiers and engineers pointed their guns at him, expecting surrender.
"Knock, knock, bitches!" He activated the storage deck unit on his belt and two guns with Vladof barrels digistructed into his hands. "TIME TO COMPENSATE!"
As the bullets started flying, ECHO software recognised the pattern and activated it's pre-programmed response. Barely noticeable at first, it slowly build up, until orchestral music reverberated across the whole bay. Salvador grinned maniacally and hummed along. His Aura flared dramatically as bullets broke through the kinetic shield and tore into the power of a soul defending his body.
"BIENVENIDOS A LA FIESTA, AMIGOS!" Salvador shouted, unconcerned, moving forward at a sedate pace and daring anyone to stop him.
Someone chucked a grenade at him, and he dived for cover behind a supply crate, returning two of his own back whence it came.
"FIRE IN THE HOLE, PENDEJO!"
A Lance engineer deployed a turret onto the ceiling above them, and Salvador pressed a switch on one of his rifles. It transformed into a spear he harpooned at the turret, wrecking the mechanism and bringing it down on top of his enemies. The Lance scattered, and it was merely a formality from that point forward to find and hose them with bullets one by one. No amount of shielding and Aura saved them from the wrath of a gunserker on a warpath.
"NO KILL LIKE OVERKILL!"
Finally, as the last Lancemen had his tower shield ripped off and shot into the face multiple times, the screams died and an avalanche of Dust munitions stopped. Salvador looked around for more enemies, found none, and was about to move on, but a sudden movement in the corner of his eye drew his attention.
A robot three feet high was jumping on its wheel and waving its tiny arms.
"Hello, traveler!" Claptrap shouted in an obnoxiously cheerful voice and rolled forward.
"Move with caution, James. Several of my students might be running around."
"You think Crimson Lance will shoot teenagers?"
"No, but you may lose Crimson Lance to a man, because some of my students might be running around."
A red warning sign lit up on Ironwood's holodesk, indicating boarding action. The general reached out in alarm, quickly dispatching a commando unit to stem the breach.
Ozpin sipped his coffee.
"If you ever need a sympathetic ear, do not hesitate to call me."
The dropship shuddered under the assault of unimaginable beasts; composite capable of withstanding atmospheric re-entry was torn to shreds by mighty claws. The creatures of Grimm howled and snarled and growled as their instincts urged them on, towards two bright lights inside. The lights that confused most of the creatures, because thy felt no terror or panic expected from the only living beings stranded on the planet. The older Grimm hung back, knowing well that confidence was usually backed up by skill, and planned tactics and strategies, directing their brainless kin at the ship's weak spots. Make sure it cannot stand, make sure it cannot fly, make sure it can't fight back.
The solitary Goliath stood far away, seemingly unconcerned, but in truth guarding the only exit from the plateau. If the specks managed to escape the horde, they will undoubtedly have to go this way, and the Goliath was patient.
The hull was breached, and Beowulves poured in, chewing and ripping through the cords and soft insides. Electricity stung them and killed them, but they never faltered, almost crazed in their only purpose, so close to fulfillment. Finally, they broke into the inner halls, where a mechanical voice greeted them.
"Self-destruct sequence initiated. Ten. Nine..."
Beowulves paid it no mind. Their senses were pointed at the lights, now tucked in a metal coffin at the side of the ship. It will not save them.
"Escape pod sealed. Launching."
The Beowulves looked on as their targets sailed overhead and away.
"...Three. Two. One."
The Goliath observed the explosion and carefully remembered everything it learned about dropships today. The specks were unprotected now; it trumpeted an attack signal that echoed throughout the plateau.
An ambush turned into a chase, it mattered little; this will end the same way at the end of the day.
The air above the rocky ground shimmered, the space folding and blurring and twisting until a tear opened in the middle of a valley. A woman with glowing blue tattoos on her left side casually stepped through, expertly reorienting herself, as if instant travel between galaxies was routine for her; perhaps it was.
"Now to find what knowledge Eridians had about Sirens," the woman muttered to herself, peeking at the mountain range looming above her. The tattoos, briefly dormant, lit up again, and space was torn apart once more.
Roman Torchwick glanced at the expensive detector he stole from the Schnee corp pilot on his way to the dock. Dark matter fluctuations were commonplace across six galaxies, but only one behaved just right. He did a few rough calculations and informed the pilot about their next destination. A middle of nowhere on the edge of discovered space, it didn't have anything even vaguely resembling civilisation. What a Siren could have forgotten there was anyone's guess. With a sigh, Roman settled into his seat. This 'vengeance' business turned out not as fun as he imagined, but he'd be damned if he didn't at least try.
The pilot had only a couple of seconds to input coordinates before he was repeatedly shot in the back and set on fire. Scarlett decloaked and shoved the body out of the pilot's seat, taking it for herself.
"Terribly sorry, do that a lot, you understand. 'Twas nice not knowing ya. Bye." She kicked the ex-pilot towards the garbage disposal unit, making sure that her pirate hat did not fall into it too. It was hard to replace and few of them matched her awesome eye-patch.
"Now where did that kitty cat went to, I wonder?" She tried (and failed) to decipher the coordinates. Frustrated, she abandoned her hard-won seat, instead hacking the (former) pilot's account for the money he got paid for this trip. It would be unfair to take the initiative and do the job herself, only to not be compensated for her trouble.
"ZAAAAAARPEEEEEDOOOOOON!"
"What the hell do you want, Jack?" She answered over the open channel, irritated. The cruiser of the Lost Legion rang from constant bombardment by small Schnee craft in the background, and she was too busy organizing a response to pay respects for pleasantries.
"Nothing, really, but it's such a fun name to scream. Have you tried it yourself? Say it with me: 'ZARPEDON'."
"Go to hell, Jack."
"You must have been a total riot at the school. Have anyone screamed your name at school? I bet they did, Tungsteena. It's so relaxing. So... evocative. So… invigorative."
"Could you save me the trouble and go hang yourself?"
"So much hostility, Zarpederp. But seriously, your parents were such..." she terminated the connection. Her holodesk lit up with a new incoming call immediately. She declined it. It lit up again. With a growl, she took the call.
"Assholes. They were assholes, to give you such a name," finished Handsome Jack and hung up on her.
Forty seconds after entering the atmosphere, the capsule stabilised and started sloughing off its outer shell. Flexible weave spread over a vast distance, a spider net of huge proportions, catching the air itself and parachuting its massive cargo. Thirty seconds later, and the inner shell opened like a flower, braking the fall much harder. Then, with a jerk, the actual parachute opened and spread slowly over the weave net.
A supply crate with "fragile" written on it and then crossed out emerged from within the contraption. Four unintended passengers were able to admire the view through the blast-proof window as the crate was hurdling rapidly towards the ground.
"Getting bored, now." Declared one of the girls inside and kicked the reinforced door off its hinges. She hopped off right after.
"Not again, Yang." A quick activation of the Longbow technology, and a device was deployed in the forests far below. Ruby walked off the crate and the next step seamlessly teleported her on Pandoran soil.
"It's not like we're hurrying anywhere," complained Weiss, but carefully froze sheets of ice into steps she leisurely descended.
The crate fell onwards, empty.
And so, our three girls and their kitty cat made their first step on Pandora, not knowing the horrors that would befall them.