For the first time in days, I felt something, a warm pressure on my lips. I heard Kili's voice. "I love you. More than everything. More than life." I felt the pain in my ribs and my leg, but more than that I felt the ache in my heart from being apart from him for so long. Kili.

I remained in darkness. My eyes wouldn't open. I couldn't move. 'Kili!' I tried to scream. 'I'm here! I hear you! Don't leave me!'

He squeezed my hand. I could sense his presence beside me. I could feel more, hear more, but I couldn't see. I couldn't move. I forced all my concentration, all my will to moving. Whether it be a flutter of my eyelids, or a sharper breath, or a twitch of my finger—anything. Anything to let him know that I was here.

What frightened me, besides not knowing how I got to where I was—the last thing I remembered was meeting Maladernil across from Ravenhill—was how weak I felt. My stomach burned and ached as though there was no food in it. I had no idea how long I had been gone, but… it had been too long. I had to come back. For Kili.

'Come on!' I screamed, fighting to throw out my arm, do anything. My finger twitched. I heard Kili's sharp intake of air, and his grip on my hand tightened.

"Aeyera?" he breathed. "Can you hear me?"

'Yes!' I wanted to sob. 'Yes, Kili, I'm here! I'm here, please. Please bring me back.'

"Kili," I heard Fili's soft voice. He sounded weak, and grieving. "She's gone."

"No, she's not." Kili snapped. "I felt her move."

"Kili." Fili tried to reason with him. "You haven't slept in days, ever since she—" he broke off. "She's not coming back."

A tear fell down my cheek. The brothers gasped, and suddenly I heard someone scramble to their feet and take off, screaming for Oin, for Balin, for Gandalf, for anyone and everything. I continued fighting. Feeling rushed to my fingers, to my toes. I tried to jerk, to throw myself off the bed, to move, but instead a small shudder ran down my body. My hands began to shake, and my breathing sped up. My heart began to beat faster. I was panicking. I wanted to move, to see, to speak—and I couldn't. I couldn't do anything.

Kili kept a firm grip on my hand. In that moment I truly understood what it meant to have a lifeline. He kept my anchored, kept me from slipping away.

"Calm down," he whispered. His lips touched my forehead, and his scruff tickled my skin. I slowly began regaining control. My breathing slowed. My heartbeat returned to normal. My hands stopped shaking. "Come back to me. I know you're scared, Aeyera, but you're going to be alright. Trust me."

The sound of voices and hurried footsteps reached my ears. I wanted to see Kili. I wanted him to be the first one I saw. A horrible thought crossed my mind. I couldn't remember anything that had happened… what if the battle had already happened? Was that how I got here? What if I was dreaming? What if Kili had fallen, and this—all of this—wasn't real? What if he was dead?

That though jarred me so badly that my eyes forced their way open. I froze. I stopped breathing. All rational thought left me. I couldn't move, couldn't breath, couldn't speak. I couldn't see. I couldn't see.

I broke down into hysterics, squeezing my eyes shut. I couldn't see.

"Aeyera, calm down."

"Open your eyes, lass."

Oin was here. They all were here. I couldn't open my eyes. I couldn't face the world knowing that I couldn't see it anymore. I couldn't move my body except for my eyes, and those I squeezed shut.

"All of you, leave!" Oin barked. "Or at least go gather in the corner. Do you want to frighten the poor lass to death?" As the voices moves off, Oin spoke again. "Kili, lad. You as well."

His grip on my hand didn't falter. "I'm not going anywhere."

The old dwarf sighed but said nothing more about it. "Aeyera. Open your eyes."

'I can't.'

"Has she opened her eyes yet?" Oin asked.

"For just a moment. Then she shut them and started crying and shaking," Kili whispered. He squeezed my hand.

"I feared so. Aeyera, you must listen to me. You've been asleep for several days. Your body and mind shut down. That means it is going to take a while for you to wake up again. Do you understand me? But if you don't open your eyes, you can't start waking up. Open them."

He waited. I didn't open them. I couldn't. "Please, Aeyera." Kili. "Open your eyes."

I did. I saw nothing. Only darkness. I could hear Oin moving; feel the warmth of a flame. I guessed that he was waving a candle before my eyes, trying to gauge a response. I heard him breathe in quickly. "Oh dear," he said softly. I closed my eyes again. At least, I thought I did. I couldn't tell; everything was the same whether my eyes were open or closed. "Open your eyes again, lass." I did. I kept them open. I humored him, for Kili. Hot tears dripped down my cheeks. I felt nauseous. "Lass, listen to me. From what I've been told, you hit your head very hard on the ground before…" The old dwarf's voice broke for a moment, but he continued on. "From my experience, this sort of trauma can cause blindness." My breathing hitched, and Kili's grip on my hand grew painful.

"Blind?" he whispered, echoing my thoughts. "She's blind?"

Oin hurried on, both answering and ignoring Kili. "However, the condition can be temporary, lasting a few hours to a few weeks. Master Gandalf is here, and he is going to try to heal you, help you along. If it is the temporary sort of blindness, then he can help you vision to recover more swiftly." Please. Anything. "If it is not…"

"Do it," Kili said quickly. "Please."

A gnarled hand rested upon my face, covering my eyes. I could feel the wizard's warm skin, and I caught the scent of pipe smoke from his robes. He began murmuring a spell in an old language, his voice rising and falling like a song. My eyes drifted shut. I felt warm, comfortable, and safe. Finally the spell ended. Whatever happened, I would have to be okay. I took a deep breath and released it. Gandalf lifted his hand from my eyes. I found that feeling had returned to my limbs, although I didn't try to move yet.

"Aeyera," Kili whispered. "Open your eyes."

I did. At first, everything was grey, which honestly was a huge improvement. I could see shapes and shadows, but couldn't focus on anything. I tried harder, focusing on that which was right above me. Slowly, a form came into focus. Dark hair. Dark eyes. Dark beard. Pale, almost grey skin. A white gold bead. A flash of white teeth. Slowly, so slowly, Kili's face came into view.

I stared up at him in silence as tears flowed down my cheeks. My lips parted and curved upwards in a smile. "Kili," I breathed.

He breathed out in relief, tears streaming down his own face. "Aeyera."

"Try moving you arms, my lady," Gandalf offered with a smile. I did, and I found that I could lift them. It was by no means easy, and I was very weak, but I could move. Kili wrapped his arms around me, one hand resting on my back and the other on my hip, and lifted me halfway off the bed. I wrapped my arms around his neck, resting my head upon his shoulder. My side ached and my leg burned, but I could see. I was awake. I was alive.

"Drink this, Aeyera." Oin handed me a large tankard of water, which I gulped down as quickly as I could. When that was gone, he handed me another, which I drank much more slowly than the first.

I looked around as Kili set me back down upon the bed. Most of the company stood in the corner, smiling at me. Most of them—except for Bombur, bless him—sported some sort of injury. Fili, who stood beside his brother, leaned upon a staff. Gloin's arm was wrapped and hung in a sling. A flash of white revealed bandages hidden beneath Kili's tunic.

I frowned. Clearly the battle had already taken place. I counted the dwarves. Balin, Dwalin, Oin, Gloin, Bifur—the ax head was gone! —Bofur, Bombur, Fili, Kili, Dori, Ori, Nori… Bilbo sat in the corner upon a cot, staring down at his feet. Thirteen. I was the fourteenth, but where… where was Thorin?

"Kili?" I asked timidly. I was suddenly afraid. I was very, very afraid. "Where—" I swallowed, not knowing if I wanted to hear the answer. "Where is Thorin?" A look of anguish crossed his face. Fili looked down. Dwalin looked away and crossed his arms tightly. Bilbo wiped his nose. "No," I breathed, feeling tears in my eyes. Disbelief welled up within me. He… he couldn't be gone. Surely not. Surely they were joking—surely he would walk through the doors in a moment, a smile upon his face. Or a scowl, depending on whether or not the gold sickness still controlled him. Nothing could kill him. How—?

"Lassie," Balin stepped forward and rested a gentle hand upon my arm. "What's the last thing you remember?"

I stared back at him and blinked, thinking. "I-I remember meeting my brother," I told him. "Legolas and I met him on the overlook across from Ravenhill."

"Yes," Balin replied, nodding his head. "Go on. Tell us everything, until you can't remember anything else."

I nodded, unsure. "We—we went down and stood in front of the mountain. I went, and I stood with Maladernil, and Legolas, and Gwenithil and Aicanar."

A cry reached my ears, and I jerked around to see a familiar face in the cot beside mine. "Gwenithil?" I breathed. She looked horrible. Her hair was unkempt, her frame frail and weak. She looked like she hadn't eaten in days. Her eyes were bloodshot, her cheeks damp with tears. Only one thing could have made her like this. "No," I whimpered.

Another figure entered the room at that moment. "Aeyera!"

I turned in time for Legolas to catch me in his arms, gripping me gently and tightly. He was shaking. "Legolas."

"You're awake. Thank Eru you're awake. How are you?"

"Prince Legolas," Oin interrupted. "I am trying to gage how much she remembers of the past few days. If you could wait a moment."

"Of course." He moved to sit across from Gwenithil, speaking to her softly in Sindarin. He held her hands, gently wiping the tears from her face. He was trying to bring her back.

"Aeyera," Balin caught my attention once more. "Please continue."

I nodded. "We… we stood between Thranduil's army and the mountain." I frowned, searching for the right memory. "I let Bard and Thranduil pass, and I rode with them to reason with Thorin. Bard revealed the Stone…" I looked over at Bilbo, my brow furrowing. "I didn't know your plan. Thorin, he… he said terrible things. He thought I took it. You—" I turned sharply to stare at Kili, who shrank back. "You believed him," I breathed. My heart ached.

"I am so sorry," he whispered. "I should never have—"

"Lad, let her finish."

"Bilbo, he… he came forward… Thorin wanted to throw him off the wall, but he got away. The dwarves came, then the orcs, and we started fighting, but you stayed inside… until you didn't." I looked back at Kili. "I heard you." I quoted him. "'I will not hide behind a wall of stone while others fight our battles for us. It is not in my blood, Thorin'." Kili's eyes widened. "I heard you," I whispered. "Thank you."

"What happened then?" Oin prompted.

"Avelain, he came and asked for orders…" I frowned. "No, that was before I heard… or was it after the wall… the gate exploded," I recalled. My head was starting to hurt. "Where… where is he? Avelain?"

None answered. I doubted any knew of whom I spoke. To my surprise, it was Kili who answered. "He fell," he breathed. His eyes met mine. "I'm sorry."

My throat closed, and I nodded jerkily, taking deep breaths. "I hit the ground, and the company joined the battle. I fought with Kili, until—" my eyes widened. "Azog," I breathed. I turned to look at Kili and stared at him in horror. I touched his chest with shaking fingers. "He attacked you. He hurt you." He nodded. "He… he attacked me." I frowned. Everything here was fuzzy. "I was on the ground. He was about to kill me, but… I got away? How?" I looked around. No one would meet my eye. "Someone saved me. Who?" I demanded.

"Think," Balin said firmly. "You need to remember on your own."

My head dropped onto the bed. "Someone pulled me out of the way," I remembered. Everything was very blurry. "Azog, he—" my eyes widened, and I sat bolt upright. "He's dead," I whispered, a smile growing on my face. "Azog is dead." I laughed. "How? Who—" A memory surfaced of a blade piercing through armor, of an enemy twisting back, stabbing, then collapsing. I choked, covering my mouth with my hands. "No." I shook my head. "No, he—Thorin."

My memories suddenly came flooding back, and I fell back, sobbing. I remembered everything. Thorin was dead. Oh, Eru, Thorin. I failed. I lost him. "He's dead," I wailed. "I'm so sorry, Kili. He loved you. I love you. He was sorry. I'm sorry."

Strong arms enveloped me, holding me close. "Shh," Kili whispered. I felt his chest heaving as he tried to contain his grief. "You saved him."

I don't know how long I cried. He held me, rubbing my back. There was so much I wished I could say to him; so much I wished he could have said… that never could be spoken. Finally, I gathered enough strength to sit up

"Aeyera, did you…" Balin began. "Did he say anything to you, before he passed."

Kili helped me to rise, letting me leaning against him. Tears continued to stream from my eyes, trailing from my cheeks to my chin, dripping down my neck and leaving cold, salty wakes. "He… he told me that he was sorry. He said… he told me to tell…" I looked around and held out my hand to Dwalin, and to Bilbo. "Dwalin? Bilbo? Come here," I whispered. The two joined Kili and I, standing beside the bed. "Fili?" He moved closer, leaning on his staff, and then sat down, taking his weight off his leg. "He told me to tell you—all four of you, Bilbo, Dwalin, Fili, and Kili specifically—that he was sorry. To all of you, that he was sorry." My voice broke. Dwalin's face twisted in emotion, and he looked down. I moved and stood, shaking wildly. The burly dwarf caught me as me knees buckled. I hugged him tightly. "I'm sorry as well," I cried. "I swore to protect him, but—"

"Ye did, lass," Dwalin told me. "You saved him in the best way someone can be saved."

He sat me gently back on the cot, and Kili wrapped a blanket around me. I reached out and hugged Bilbo. He sniffed, looking down. "I'm sorry, Bilbo." Somehow it hurt so much more that Bilbo hadn't gotten to say goodbye, especially after what had happened at the gate. He nodded but said nothing.

"We are going to bury him tomorrow," Kili told me softly. "We were waiting for you to wake up." I nodded mutely. "I'm sorry, Aeyera. For everything."

The company filed out slowly, all nodding at me or telling me how happy they were that I was back. I nodded and smiled as they left until Kili, Fili, and I were the last three members of the company to remain. Fili stood, leg shaking, and leaned heavily upon his staff, then bent over and kissed my forehead gently.

"Get some rest, Aeyera," he told me gently. I nodded, and he took my hand in a brotherly fashion, looking at Kili. "Take care of her, little brother."

Kili nodded, and Fili limped from the room. Kili watched him go with a heartbroken look on his face, his eyes on Fili's leg and staff. When the door of the infirmary closed, he shut his eyes and took a deep, shuddering breath. I broke down sobbing. I crumpled into Kili's arms, weeping. "I'm sorry," I cried. He held me in his arms, cradling me close to his chest. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry."

"Aeyera, it is I who should be sorry," he answered after a long time. I could feel his heartbeat through his tunic; feel the heat from his skin warming me. "And I am. I am sorry for everything. I am sorry I did not believe you. I am sorry that I let Thorin make you leave. I am sorry that I believed Thorin at the gate, if only for a moment, and I am sorry for how I looked at you. Most of all I am sorry I could not do more to defend you. Forgive me, please."

He sounded so much like Thorin that a new wave of grief crashed onto me, and through the tears I nodded. "I forgive you. Eru, Kili, I forgive you." He kissed me gently, wiping the tears from my cheeks. "Please forgive me," I whispered after he pulled away. "I promised to protect him, to protect you, and I failed. You were hurt defending me. Thorin was killed defending me; Fili… he was injured defending both I and Thorin, I—I'm so sorry." I tried to pour my guilt and shame into my words, to make Kili see how tormented I was by this. I thought over the battle over and over, replaying it in my mind. I could have thrown my knife quicker. I could have paid more attention to my surroundings. I could have—

"Aeyera. Look at me." I lifted my eyes to meet Kili's. They were filled with tears, with sorrow and grief and pain that mirrored my own. "There is nothing to forgive. You did all you could. When Azog attacked you, you were already hurt. You could barely stand. You could not have done anything, Aeyera." I tried to believe him. I did. But it was so hard… "Aeyera, you have redeemed yourself. You have proven yourself in a thousand ways. I know what visions you saw, where Fili and I fell defending Thorin. You changed it, Aeyera. You saved us. You fulfilled your promise."

Legolas moved to sit on my other side, his hand resting on my shoulder. His eyes were tired and sad. He had lost his best friend. "Aeyera, I cannot express how glad I am to know that you are alive."

I gave him a weary smile. "As am I."

He chuckled. A knock sounded on the door, and I looked up to see Maladernil standing in the doorway. His eyes lit up when they saw me. "Aeyera," he breathed. He rushed over and embraced me, and began weeping. "Aeyera, I'm sorry. I should have protected you. I should have been with you. I am sorry. I am sorry. I am sorry."

I hugged him back, mindful of the injuries I had sustained. "I love you, Maladernil. And there is nothing to forgive."

He pulled away, wiping his face, and he and Legolas moved to sit across from Kili and I on an adjourning cot. "Where will you go?" I asked my brothers. The battle was won, and I guessed that all were returning to their homes. Legolas, I knew, would not be returning to Mirkwood. Thranduil would not allow it anyway, but it was no longer his home.

"Mithrandir told me of a young ranger, the son of Arathorn," Legolas said softly. "I will find him, and I will go with the Dúnedain for as long as I need to. I suppose I am following in your footsteps now, little sister," he smiled wearily at me. "I cannot return to Mirkwood."

I nodded slowly, and Maladernil spoke. "I will be returning to Mirkwood," he said. I stared at him, dumbfounded. "I hope one day the forest will once again be known as the Greenwood, and be returned to the glory it held as Greenwood the Great."

"But—but Thranduil would never allow you to return," I stammered, my gaze flickering between my brothers. "You will be imprisoned or killed!"

"I do not think our people would imprison or kill their king, Aeyera."

I stared at them for a moment, confused. Their king? Then it hit me. I gazed at my eldest brother in shock. "You're the king?"

He nodded. I realized that the crown he wore had been enhanced, woven with thin bands of gold and silver. "I am. The coronation was yesterday, but I stayed here to wait until you woke."

"But… but where is Thranduil?" I finally asked. After being unconscious for days, experiencing what I had, and being driven nearly mad by grief so many times… it was no wonder my mind was working so slowly. My brothers gazed at me in silence before Legolas spoke. His eyes were filled with such pain that I nearly wept even though his pain was not my own.

"He fell in battle, Aeyera. Father—Thranduil—is dead."