Chapter 4
The little bubble of happiness surrounded me for the next two weeks.
Today, rain poured softly outside the bay window. It hadn't stopped for days. Eugene sat on a wooden stool across from the easel, an unreadable expression on his face. I couldn't quite capture it in the painting. Brow furrowed, I decided to add a smirk to his expression. I remembered it all too well that he didn't need to smile himself. Carefully marking a sideways grin below his lopsided nose, I dipped the paintbrush into the reddish-pink bottle. It took a full 13 minutes to get the mouth right, and even so, when I looked at it, his face looked sort of odd. It was as if he didn't know what expression to wear. I dipped the paintbrush into the bottle again when Eugene spoke.
"Hey, can I ask you something?"
Thinking nothing of it, I replied. "Sure."
I heard him inhale before he spoke again. "Am I just a distraction to you?"
I looked up at him, confused. His expression was stern. When I didn't respond, he spoke again. "I've been thinking a lot, and your whole life, it seemed as if you relied on distractions to get you trough." He was looking out the window now. "No, not really distractions. More like routines. Yeah, routines that help you distract yourself from what's actually going on."
"-What are you-"
"First the tower. All those chores that you do. The paintings, cleaning, they distract you from the reality – Gothel keeping you as prisoner." The mention of Gothel's name made my skin crawl. "Sometimes I wonder... if you had actually checked the facts, or even, thought for your ownself, I wonder if you would've gotten out of that tower sooner." Was he blaming me for this...? I wondered. "And now, a year ago, you seemed so..." He drew a breath. "You shut me out. It was clear that you were unhappy. But everything that's happening in this castle, you let it distract you. And now me. Before that night," I thought back to the candlelight dinner, "You wanted nothing to do with me. I thought..." He looked at me, his eyes glassy. "I thought you were going to leave me. But all of a sudden, something changed. I didn't know what it was, but suddenly, it was like it never happened. I went along, obviously, I wanted to be happy with you, and, I loved you, but all those times that we spent together, you hadn't bothered to do anything else. Was it because you found your new distraction?" He blurted all of this out, and I didn't know how to react. Now that I thought about it, it sort of made sense, but at the same time, it didn't.
"Please say I'm wrong." Eugene looked at me, and after a few silent moments, he sighed and left the room.
When I was getting ready for bed, Eugene returned. "I'm sorry that I forced all of that onto you earlier." He drew in a breath. "I didn't know what I was thinking. I dwelled on it for so long, I thought it was true." He muttered something under his breath, but he looked down and it was clear that he was ashamed of his accusations.
Not closing any space between us, I spoke. "You're not a distraction, Eugene." I said in the most comforting voice that I could manage. "You're so much more than that. You're the only thing keeping me sane." I forced a smile. The joke came out weak.
He didn't lift his head. I could've sworn I saw a tear fall down from his face, glinting in the moonlight. "Yeah I'll see you in the morning." And with that, he left, without so much as a goodnight, leaving me feeling cold and empty.
I woke up in a clatter footsteps outside the hall. Suddenly, a knock came from the thick wooden door. As I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes and sat up, a weird feeling came in my stomach. Something bad was going to happen. I opened the door cautiously, and was greeted by the troubled eyes of my mom and dad. They both exchanged nervous looks. My mom spoke up first. "Honey, we got some news."
The anticipation was killing me. "Just blurt it out mom." I bit my lip. They exchanged looks again, and then my dad handed me a piece of paper folded in half. A messy 'To Rapunzel' was written on the front. I opened it and read the words breathlessly.
Dear Rapunzel,
I'm going away for a while. I'm not really sure how long but... I'm not going away because of you, but because of me. I can't really explain it. I'm ashamed that I couldn't tell you myself, because, well, I was afraid that if I didn't leave now, I would never leave. I'm also sorry if this causes you pain in any way, but sincerely, I want you to be happy. Please understand. I love you so, so much.
- Eugene
I reread the letter about two times, each time not daring to believe that this was real. Too bad it was. Eugene has left me.