Welome back chaps and chapetes. A little quote for you all that I found hilarious, 'I hate three kinds of people, cowards, bullies and people who read stories only for the sex.' - That right there was someone's genuine feelings, and that is fucking hilarious to me. Considering who It came from, and their history.

On to reviews.

Omnipotent Anomaly: Maybe. Then again I end up doing that in all of my stories for X reason, so I got a little bored of it.

darelle1000: She does. The bod is all anyone wants. A curse really.

Amused Archer: ALL OF THE HOMO! And thank you kindly, friend. Enjoy your holidays.

guisniperman: Fuckin' hell guis, stop guessing all the shit that pops into my head. Gawsh.

Guest: As I have said previously, I'll continue it when I continue it. That's really all I can tell you.

Start

Menma and Asia were walking about, the Nun and the Devil just traipsing about the town, mostly as he desired to just hang out, and she was always more than willing to do so. Tama had joined in, sitting on his shoulders for the whole trip, once again not that he minded.

"I should probably go to school and check in on the scene around there..." He said quietly, turning in the direction of said building, it was still very early in the morning and the morning mist was still a little visible, the crisp chill of the morning more than welcome to the gothic-dressed Uzumaki, he got to wear his coat again which is always a positive.

Menma sighed and stroked the vulpine tail that fell down to his waist from his shoulders, the coo's of content coming from his darling little fox more than enough incentive to continue. "Asia...?" He asked, not hearing the second pair of steps next to him, he saw her scared look and followed her line of sight, spotting two white robed figures, one with a large bandaged totally inconspicuous sword on her their back. "Well...That was pretty blood convenient...Huh, I should probably question these things sometimes...But I wont. Oi, robes!" He called out, making Asia jump like she was struck by lightning, Tama jumped off his shoulders and stood beside the nun.

The pair turned, "Yep. That's them...Not like there was a bloody question..." He monologued internally, "Would you two happen to be from the church?" He asked with mock curiosity, the brunette nodded happily whilst the bluenette merely did so slowly.

"Now if I may be so bold, what would a pair of young ladies like yourselves be doing in this neck of the woods armed and dangerous as you are?" He asked with a smile so fake it made plastic look natural.

"We're here for our own reasons, citizen. If you could be so kind as to direct us to the local Academy, we have someone we need to meet with." This came from the bluenette. Menma nodded but held up a finger for a moment before rushing back over to Asia, using his body to obscure any view of her they may have, he quickly touched her shoulder and whispered to her.

"Asia, take Tama and go straight home. These two are from the church and so help me Satan I will not let them harm a hair on the pretty little head of yours." Asia's smile made the sun look dull in comparison, she hugged him fiercely, "Also if you tell anyone what I just said I will deny it and then kill that person." This did nothing to dull her brightness though and instead she took Tama and turned back towards home.

"Bye-bye Aniki!" The little fox exclaimed, waving as she turned the corner with the nun.

"Shall we?" He asked striding back to the two women.

"A little early for a child of her age is it not?" Asked the yellow eyed girl.

"Tama is pretty energetic for her age, that and she refuses to leave the house without her various animalist accessories. I am Menma, by the way. A pleasure to meet the both of you." He said with a tilt of the head.

"I am Xenovia. It is nice to meet you as well." She answered cordially.

"I'm Irinia Shidou, it's super nice to meet you too, Menma-san." Said the brunette cheerfully.

"So anyone in particular you too are looking for? I may know them."

"A girl by the name of Rias Gremory." Xenovia looked at the face of their guide and saw the dark look cross his features for a millisecond, though it spoke a million words. She actually felt a small chill go down her spine, but no normal person could make a face like that, then again he was wearing an awful lot of black, so he may not be normal.

"The President of the Occult Research Club." He informed, "Hmm...Maybe I should go to school today..."

"You should not be skipping on your education, Menma-san." Lectured Xenovia, frowning up at him.

"Tsk tsk tsk, I know. I know. Truly I am a villain." He moaned dramatically, almost feeling sick at being this close to the crosses around their necks. Either that or once more having to act pleasant to random people when he'd much rather be rending flesh, fuck he'd even settle for making a few more spells.

"If you pray for strength you can overcome your sloth." Said Irinia, getting ready to do just that on his behalf.

"I'd rather you didn't. I'm an atheist." He said easily, as a human that was true. Now he wasn't even fuckin' bothered by the idea of some creator, he had more important shit to deal with every fuckin' day.

"Y-you what!?" Squawked Irinia, "Oh Lord forgive this heretic for his blasphemous behavior." She prayed, Menma felt the beginning of the 'Ice-pick to the brain' pain he'd come to know from the big G, or whatever felt the need to inflict pain upon him.

"I just never bought into it. Tends to happen when you've got more important things on your mind." He said with a shrug, this made the girl gasp in horror.

"There is nothing more important than the love of the lord!" She exclaimed pointing at him. Xenovia almost sighed, this was a continuous thing whenever they would run into one of these people, whilst the Excalibur wielder was a devout weapon of the church, she at least tolerated peoples right to believe or not...Irinia not so much.

"Living. For one." He said, raising a finger. "Then there's money, to buy food and necessities, to continue living. One big ol' circle of stuff I need to do now instead of worrying if some invisible being in the sky likes me or not. Religion in general has never been apart of my life, so it's not like I'm just rejecting your god. I reject them all. See, equal opportunity dislike all-round."

Xenovia facepalmed while Irinia looked about ready to cut him open.

"Oh look, we're here." He said cutting off any reply, gesturing to the school. "C'mon we're almost there." Tucking his hands into his pockets he made way to the Occult research club. Lifting his leg he kicked in the door and enjoyed the powerful woosh sound the came with it. "Never gets old." He said with a chuckle, walking in.

Koneko and Issei were sitting near the coffee table, one on each couch. Kiba was nowhere in sight. Akeno just came out with a trio of tea-cups, he could sense a final presence, no doubt Rias, in the building but could not see them.

"Oh, Menma-san. What are you...? Who are they?" Asked Issei, only to feel a kick to his shin curtesy of the small white haired girl, "Ow! Koneko what was that for!"

"They're from the Church, dumbass." She insulted quietly. "Why did you bring them here, Senpai?" Asked the girl, curiously.

"They asked to see, Rias. I was coming this way anyway." He supplied easily.

"You too are a Devil, Menma-san?" Asked Xenovia, annoyed that she couldn't even tell if that was the case. He appeared to be human on the surface, then again the deception of the Devils was all too common.

"Aye, I am not of this Peerage though." He smiled at the girl who turned away with a grunt.

"If you are a Devil how can you be an atheist!?" Demanded Irinia.

"Because I have free will and thus choose to not to believe." Said the Uzumaki with a shrug, yawning lazily. "'Sides a bunch of books written by some old fucks in the desert isn't my kind of proof. I'm a kind of 'seeing is believing' kinda guy. Anyway, Is Rias here?" Asked Menma.

"She is." Said Akeno, looking at him with sharp eyes, "But why would a beast like you wish to see her?" She said spitefully, though masked it well behind a veil of false sweetness.

"I don't." He shot back with venom, "These two do, and I said I would bring them here. I'm nothing if not a man of my word, when it suits me." He turned on his heel and face the two sword weilders, "It's been a pleasure." To add extra chaos he took Xenovia's hand and kissed her hand in a flash of movement, the sheer shock at such an action was more than worth the amount of anger that was churning in her at the moment. Nothing like stirring up the massses.

"Have a nice day, and Issei do come see me when you are free." The thumbs up from the Dragon was his signal to leave.

"I have to bathe my hand in holy water..." Murmured Xenovia looking at the place he'd kissed her hand with disgust.

Later

Menma was sitting in the trees, Gin had managed to find him so he was once more hanging upside down with him, "Look at the ass on the blue haired one. Delicious."

"I can agree with that. Though the twin-tails are good on the brunette, gotta hold onto something when you're pounding that pussy." Said the monkey man with a straight face.

"Gin I do believe this is the start of a beautiful friendship." Said Menma without looking away from Xenovia's toned butt. As she and her partner dueled with Kiba and Issei.

"Miracles have happened before I suppose."

"No a miracle would be me getting inside that battle-suit." He let out a low purr as she parried a strike and had to twist in just the best way. "Holy hell that is just pure beauty. Alright, imma go be involved."

"Have fun." Said Gin waving him off as the Devil leapt from the trees and his wings shot out, gliding down and landing without a sound.

"Menma-san?" Came Issei's voice, Irinia turned immediately, whilst the pair of swordsmen across the field did so mid-sword lock.

"Having some fun without me? I'm offended really, the only thing I've fought recently were a pack of Fallen. Tsk tsk tsk." He shook his head and sighed, with a click the Uzumaki opened a red vortext next to his right hand, reaching in he pulled out a large blade, it had a hand and a half grip and a wide blade that was decorated in intricate white-gold coloured markings, the blade stood up to his shoulder from tip to pommel.

"Ludwig's Holy Blade, courtesy of Bloodbourne. It's my first attempt at creating a solid weapon from my own magic, so do treat me kindly." He shouldered the blade and smiled at the shocked looks on the faces of the two church executioners.

"A holy blade!? How are you able to use it, Devil!?" Demanded Xenovia.

"That's the name of it beautiful, I didn't name it." He explained with s shrug, "'Sides it's a construct of magic, it's not a real holy weapon, then again 'Holy' is a pretty subjective thing, but let's not get into that. Twin-tails, back off the dragon and fight me!" He ordered, his eyes burning red as he leapt forward and slammed the blade towards her, Irinia moved out of the way and attempted a strike to his back, the Uzumaki slid down and swept her legs out from under her.

Menma came upright and kicked her away, making the girl skid and roll along the ground. He looked at the weapon she let go with a curious gaze, "Don't touch it, Menma-san! It'll hurt you." Warned Issei, Menma hummed so kicked the blade towards the girl, it spun in the air like a bladed windmill and staked in the ground next to her head.

Sensing imminent danger, he brought up his weapon and used the flat of the blade to stop the attack of Xenovia, "Oh, hello there. Is there a reason you abandoned your duel to strike me?" He asked politely, a smile on his face, her glare was ice-melting.

"You think you can just attack my partner and I won't tear you apart?" She questioned darkly.

"Well Issei seemed to be out of commission, and I was looking for a fight anyway. So I figured I'd step in. But hey, thanks for helping me test Ludwig out, it's holding up pretty well against your sword." He smile turned into a grin as he kicked her square in the stomach and sent her flying back towards the crater she'd made earlier, Kiba standing at the edge of it.

"You have no idea how long it took me to make this thing." He informed a bewildered Issei who looked at the sword warily, "Maybe I should try a gun next...?" He thought, looking closely at the weapon he'd made. Easily parrying the strike Irinia had made at him, leaving her wide open, he kicked her in the chest making her flip backwards several times before face-planting into a tree.

Firmly grasping the blade with both hands he felt the muscles in his arms almost coo with delight at the weight of the weapon, "So this is how it feels to be blended with ones magic...Hmm. Perhaps blood magic isn't so bad after all."

"Blood Magic!?" Cried Xenovia, standing up her blade at the ready. "Who's blood did you use to fuel your dark magic's you fiendish Devil!" Snarled the executioner.

Menma looked at her curious for a moment before humming lightly, "My own, some from the Fallen I killed, some my Grandfather offered to help me trial the ritual, the trick was to convent the holy energy bound in the blood of the Fallen-" He blade crashed into his own making him pause.

"You dare use Holy Blood, no matter how fallen it is, to create this abomination!" Snarled the woman, Menma smirked at her, showing his slowly sharpening teeth.

"Oh yes indeed. Though I would hardly call Ludwig an abomination, besides it was just a little blood, maybe a bottle cap full. Has anyone ever told you how hot you are when you're angry?" He added absently, the girl merely baseball bat swung her sword and sent him back several feet, Menma twisted in the air and landed on a tree in a crouch to let out the tension from the shock of that would no doubt be running in his legs.

"Well I think someone is over reacting a little strongly." He slid off the tree and staked his sword into the ground, leaning on it, "So Kiba, how's the Excalibur vengeance coming along?" He asked, 'kindly'.

"Shut your mouth, Scum." Snarled the Knight.

"Now that's just rude. You're being a rude dude, Kiba. Were did all this hostility come from? It's not like you were locked in a little church, no doubt having several clerics do dirty things to you so you could grip the holy shaft a little better." The roar of rage that came from the boy was beautiful, he summoned several blades and leapt at Menma, closing the gap in a flash.

It seemed eavesdropping paid off.

Now, as he could not see how fast Kiba was moving, Menma had to rely on his reflexes and senses to combat the Knight, raising Ludwig he bat away the first strike and copped another in the forearm, coating his arm in magic he blast the Knight back and into the air, Kiba groaned as the blast struck him and tried to right himself in the air only for a hand to close around his throat, he opened his eyes to see the mad red gleam in his opponents eyes, Menma spun like a top and ended by tossing the Knight into the ground.

Landing with and forming a crater from the strike Kiba felt like his bones had turned to jelly, Menma's sword landed in the ground next to the bluenette and the Uzumaki landed on the guard, his wings gently flapping to keep his balance.

"Well that was a sufficient test of your abilities, apologies if someone happens to bit a bit beat up, I'm not a particularly gentle person." Ludwig was sucked into the red vortex causing to Menma slowly descend towards the ground once more, he looked to the Excalibur wielder next to him and stared into her eyes intently. "Care to go to lunch?" He offered with a chuckle, making the girl shoot him a blank look. "Well I'm hungry and felt like offering, fuck don't mind me then." He said with a dramatic huff.

He'd had enough fun for today anyway, if he had to keep up this illusion of eccentric fool he'd just have to kill himself.

Home

"Aniki! Look who came over!" Came the loud and happy voice of the kitsune, grabbing his hand the second he came in to the house, she dragged him into the lounge room, "She's really pretty, and she wears a really nice dress, and she has really nice hair." Babbled the young girl.

"Oh I wonder who it could be..." He drawled sarcastically, turning into the lounge room with Tama to see Serafall drinking tea with Anna, he wasn't aware he even had tea in the house. Asia quickly rushed over to him.

"Menma-san what happened, Gin-san told me about your battle with the girls from this morning. Are you ok? Did anyone get hurt?" She quickly shot off, "Are they here for us!?" He quickly put his hands on her shoulders and stared her dead in the eye.

"Asia." He started, "Settle your breasts." She looked confused, "Calm your tits, darlin'. I just wanted to see how they fought, one is really slow, the other is really straightforward and blunt so it wont be hard to dance circles around them. And finally, no they aren't after you. Apparently a bunch of Fallen have moved into the town once again and brought 3 Excalibur's with them, hmm...Anyway they came looking for Rias and wanted to basically get her lot to back the fuck off, so you're still safe my wittle nun." He cooed hugging her close and peppering her cheeks with kisses.

"There are you sufficiently calmed?" He asked putting her at arms length, the Nun was cherry red but nodded, sitting down as steam rose from her ears, "'Sup Sera?" He asked, sitting in the chair next to the couch and crossing one leg over the other.

"Well I just wanted to inform you that I decided on your test to Rank Up." She said with a smile. At Menma's curious gaze she continued, "All you have to do, is be super nice and help those girls beat up those meanie fallen who took the swords."

"Can I steal the swords while I'm at it?" He asked with a grin.

"No." She said, making an X with her arms.

"But if we let the church have them back all it does is make them stronger, if some great conflict comes wouldn't it be better if three out of 7 ultimate weapons were taken away from them?" He countered, with what he saw as reasonable.

"I am in charge of foreign relations, Ma-chan. I can't have my Rook going around stirring up trouble by stealing from one of the other factions."

"What if I made it look like an accident, that one of them was destroyed and just snatch the fucker?"

"Nope." She said with a shake of her head. Menma sighed. "Look, Ma-chan. It's the difference between another war or not. Small triggers like taking a sword can be fuel to a dimming flame, we're really close to peace between us the other factions. We don't want to start an incident like this right now."

"Peace? Riiiight. I'm sure all the fallen I've killed recently would have something to say about getting into bed with the Devil race." He informed flippantly, she was in his face in a moment, starring unflinchingly into his eyes.

"Why did you kill them?" She questioned quietly, coldly. Not at all the same way he'd grown accustomed to.

"Because one tried to kill Asia, who actually killed me, so that was mostly vengeance not to downplay how much I like you Asia." He quickly added, the girl was still pretty out of it thankfully, so she didn't hear him admit that, he almost bit his tongue.

"I knew you still wanted friends, ya big softie." Said Madara's voice.

"Shut the fuck up, Jii-san!" He snapped, smacking the wall the voice came behind.

"Menma, focus." Snapped Serafall, Menma had to do a double take, she'd never bothered with his whole name before, he was honestly a little shocked, "And the second bunch were because they were aligned the her, they came after me I just ended the relationship there. Swear to hell."

"Promise?" She asked, leering closer and narrowing her eyes.

"What? Why would I lie to you?" He did have a point, from his perspective anyway, he didn't have any real reason to lie to Serafall, she'd been a pretty fuckin' awesome boss so far. That and he could, begrudgingly admit he liked having her around. Ya know and she fucked like a wild animal. All good reasons not to lie to her from his point of view.

"Alright then. Thank you for telling me this ahead of time, Ma-chan. It would have sucked if it came up out of the blue." She said happily, reverting to her usual self. Menma was once again thrown for a loop, "Anyway, be a good boy and help those girls get those swords back." She kissed him sweetly on the lips before disappearing in a blue circle of magic.

"I don't think I should mess with her..." He said quietly.

"Duh, strong as you are you're no Satan yet kid." Said Madara, walking into the room. "That's a good point. Let's go make you stronger. C'mon it'll be fun. Just two days away for now, then we'll see what's up when we get back." Without waiting for his Grandson to respond the Uchiha began dragging the boy out of his chair and out the door.

"Oi, oi! Wait for a second motherfucker!" He snarled only to go slack as Madara smacked the back of his head hard enough to knock him out.

"Now now, Menma. Jii-sama is just going to hurt you so you get stronger." Tama looked to Anna who shrugged and then to Asia who was slowly coming down from her high.

"Onee-sama, should we go help, Aniki?" Asked the little fox.

"Huh..? Menma-san needs help?" Asked the Nun, snapping out of it.

"Yeah, Jii-chan hit his head and made him go to sleep. Then said he was going to hurt him to make him stronger, should we go help Jii-chan to make Aniki stronger?" Anna sweatdrop, clearly she did not think that was how the little girl was going to go with that scentence.

"Wha? We have to help Menma-san!" Said the Nun with fervor, getting up and rushing after the pair, Tama at her heel.

"Gin." Called Anna, the monkey man stuck his head in the doorway, "Watch the house. I'm going to make sure those four don't get themselves killed." He nodded and went back down the hall.

Anna sighed and stood up, following after the group that drew chaos at the drop of a hat.

End.

Lil shorter, like 500 words so not much, than usual. Anyway hope you enjoyed. Storyline wise there is about 2 more days until the dickhead patrol tracks down the churchies to go after Freed, then again he's dead so oooh what's gonna happen!? Such mystery!

Raxychaz!