AN: Second chapter in one day. She's talking again! Don't own SPN.

Dean reaches out his hand as I pass him on my way out the door. I take it for a moment, squeeze it in what I hope is a reassuring way, then follow myself outside. Behind me, there is a two man chorus of Oh, shit.

Oh, shit is right.

I don't really know what I'm going to say. I don't really want to say anything at all. I want to beat her ass. But I need to know. I need to get some things straight.

"You aren't shocked to see me."

"You aren't shocked to see me, either," she says.

"Wow. You're a bitch."

She smirks. "That was always true."

My turn to smirk. "We used to hide it better. Did someone warn you?"

"I heard there were two Deans and a me with longer hair running around. I guessed. How?"

"Zachariah."

"Hmm," she responds, nodding her head. I wouldn't be surprised by that, either.

"I need to know what happened."

"To the world? To Stoner Cas? To me and Fearless Leader?"

"To me and the love of my life."

"Everything here is destroyed, Jane. Everything and everybody. Sam. Bobby."

I flinch, and she sees it.

"So you know."

"We went to him, to Sioux Falls, first."

"Yeah. I would, too."

"You were there with him?"

"Yes."

"Jane, please," I beg.

She sighs and turns her back to me. I guess seeing the pain on her own face would be too much. It's enough to feel it. "We left here back when we thought it wasn't so bad. We thought the worst of it was farther east. We needed information and supplies and more weapons. Gasoline. Where better to get all that than at Uncle Bobby's?

"Dean was . . . different after Sam," the girl who will be me continues. "It was harder for him to have me around. Just another victim to be saved, another person to watch over. We both needed a break. So I went with Bobby. Someone had to." She turned back to face me, eyes hard.

"The chair. He couldn't go alone," I offer by way of understanding.

"Yes. Anyone of us here could have gone, but I needed to get out."

"What happened to him? Who killed him?"
"Nobody. I mean, no one important. I don't know who they were, just locals looking for the same things we were. There were so many of them. They gave no warning. Just came in guns firing. I was out back. Heard it happen. Didn't get to him in time. Damn it," she huffs, wiping her eyes. Not so cold after all. I just wait. "By time I could safely move around again, he was gone. I was too late. Useless as ever."

"We aren't useless."

"Yes. We are. To him in there, we are. Both of them," she gestures to the cabin.

I shake my head. She's wrong. "He needs me. He loves me. I love him. What happened when you got back?"

"i wasn't going to come back, you know," she continues, monotone. "I knew it was my fault. And I didn't want to be the one to tell him he'd lost another person he loved. But in the end, I had no place else to go. I told him. And things changed."

"He didn't blame you. I know he didn't."

"Not in words," she snaps, and begins pacing. "But I knew. I blamed myself. And it was over. Too much pain, too much gone bad between us. Not enough good left. Not for him. I wasn't enough anymore. If I ever had been."

"He still needs you. He's still Dean," I chuckle. Dean has always needed me. Almost as much as I need him.

"No. Not the Dean you know. And I'm not you."

"How can you even stand to be without him?" I truly can't even imagine.

"He's a dick. You've met him."

"He's a dick because we aren't there to smooth out the roughest edges, Jane."

"You really believe you're that important to that man waiting for you in there? You're not."

"Yes, I am. As important to him as you are to the one waiting for you." I turn my head slightly and see two faces looking out the window, trying not be seen. I smile. How can I not?

"No one's waiting for me," she sneers. "And yours won't wait for you forever. One day he'll leave you. One day he'll take it all back, and you'll be left alone. He will let you go, and you'll run in every way you can. Your heart will break, your life will be empty. All you'll be is a piece of ass to him., and you'll let that happen, Jane. He'll be indifferent. And you'll hate him for it."

I will never hate him.

I've already attacked before I even consciously realize I'm going to do it at all. I have her against the post on the porch, pulling my arm back to punch the stupid bitch. Before I land a blow, my Dean has my fist in his. Her Dean pulls her out of my range. She never fought me back.

"I know you still love him," I tell her, the me who has lost her damn mind. Turning to other Dean, I insist, "She still loves you. She does."

"You can't even pretend to know how I feel," she spits.

"Yes, I can. Because I know how I feel, how you felt right now. It breaks me a little inside to see him walk away. Every time. Whether it's for a case, or a drive to clear his head, or a beer run down the street. Every single time he walks away from me, I know it could be the last. Because I remember all the times he walked away and didn't come back no matter how hard he tried. It's panic and fear and the almost overpowering need to go with him. Protect him. Protect him like he protects me. I know you love him, because I do. Because I could never sleep at night knowing I wouldn't see him the next day. I know I would have no way of dealing with him not being mine. He's mine. And I'm not going to let you give him up."

"Jay, come on, babe," my Dean soothes, trying to lead me back into the cabin.

"No, Dean. Tell her!" I command the other one. "Tell her!"

"I never blamed you. Never, Jane. Bobby wasn't your fault," her Dean tells her, declares to the other me. "That wasn't why."

"Then what was it? Tired of taking care of me."

"No, damn it! I was scared! What if, what if . . . What if you were next? What if I was? Could you have handled it? I couldn't. I couldn't deal with that thought and still do what needed to be done here. I couldn't be afraid of death and still keep us alive."

"Dean," she whispers, placing her hand on his face. I cry, and my Dean holds me close.

"I love you, Jay. I always have. And it made me weak."

My Dean finally gets me to move and holds me in his protecting arms once we shut the cabin door on the two people we can never let ourselves become. While I sob, he whispers in my ear, "That's not true. You have always made me stronger."

I watch them through the window, knowing that he's right. We hold each other up, give each other greater purpose. But not those two out there. It might be love. But it's hollow. Nothing to support it.

An echo.

AN: Reviews make both Deans love you.