The girls had left (the Megido's with their girlfriends), and Dave was currently shrugging on his dress. He stood in front of his full length mirror, and gave a little twirl, checking out the dress from all angles. Dave would admit that the dress was hella cute- it was a sleeveless cocktail dress (held up by god knows what. Dave doesn't even bother to question it), that ended above his knees in a muffin-top poof. The dress itself was black with red stitches and red horizontal line at the very top and bottom, and a simple red sash around his waist. He decided to put on his red gear earrings (a joke birthday gift from John, that Dave chose to take seriously and had Porrim pierce his ears), then put on the above-the-knee socks and platforms- which, he was happy to note, was hell of a lot easier to walk in than stripper heels.
Dave then took out the makeup bag Rose had given him, sat by his (totally ironic shut up) vanity, and stared uncomprehendingly at it. So many fucking things were in that bag. Some he recognized like lipstick and eyeliner, but the rest were a mystery.
"What the fuck even is this?" Dave mumbled to himself as he took out some concealer. He opened it, and sniffed it, feeling remarkable like Terezi, before he shrugged an put a big blotch of it on his face. Unfortunately, it seemed as if he took out Kanaya's concealer, as his face now looked like he was out in the sun for too long and a part of his face burnt to a crisp.
Dave looked at his reflection, before sighing and face palming. Damn his pride, he should've asked the girls for help.
At this moment Dirk walked in, "Yo lil man, can we borrow your nail pol..." Dirk trailed off as he noticed what Dave was wearing on his body and face.
"...Sup Dirk." Dave said awkwardly. Dirk just face palmed, before entering the room fully, shutting the door behind himself.
"No Dave. Just. No." Was all Dirk uttered as he made his way over Dave, crouched in front of him, and hurriedly cleaned off the concealer, before reaching for the makeup bag himself.
"Woah bro, what you doing?" Dave asked looking down untrustingly at Dirk with barely concealed terror.
"Kan told me you have a date with John. Good for you and all, you've been pining for so long it was slightly pathetic."
Dave scoffed as Dirk took off both of their shades, "Like you can say anything, after how you were about Jake."
Dirk paused from adding some concealer to the brush- Dave's proper skin tone this time, as it was Rose's- and glared up at his younger brother, "Anyways. I had told myself that I wasn't going to intervene. But, as you were about to make a colossal fool of yourself, I suppose I can help."
Dave slightly winced at the feeling of the cold concealer being brushed and rubbed into his skin, "You sure you know what you doing? Just because your gayer than rainbows, doesn't mean you're suddenly a makeup guru."
Dirk snorted, and put away the concealer, taking out some red liquid eyeliner in it's place, "Please, when you're close friends with any of the Maryam's, you pick this shit up. Plus the amount of times I had to do this for Rox. I'm actually more surprised you haven't picked up on how to do this, as like almost more than half of your close friends are female. Look up."
Dave looked up and suppressed flinching from the red eyeliner right by his eyes, "Well I'm sorry I never paid closer attention to the girls when they put on makeup. I should've been taking some fucking notes, as apparently this is a thing to be graded on. There should be like a fucking AP Makeup class on this shit. Just imagine, we'd all wear frilly tutus to class and practice makeup on each other and model walk everyfuckingwhere. Makeup is a fucking art, I have realized." Dave then closed his eyes at Dirk's prompting, and felt the powdery feeling of black eye shadow and red blush being dragged across his eyes and cheek, as well as a wet feeling right under his left eye. He decided not to question it for now.
Dirk just snorted once more, with a "Hell yeah.", and cupped Dave's face in his hands, tilting his head down, being very careful not to let his leather fingerless gloves smudge anything. "Okay, open your eyes and pucker your lips."
"Hold on bro, I don't think I'd be that into incest. Though fucking Stridercest would be the hottest thing ever, don't even deny. Girls be fainting and nosebleedin' all over the place. The president would be amiss, the Earth would implode. We could fucking take over the world, and make our sick raps the new anthem. We could even have a fucking army of shippers, just tearing away at any naysayers. All in favour say 'Hell fucking yes."
"Hell fucking shut up and pucker your lips, you lil shit." Dirk replied with an amused, fond, and a bit impatient smirk and eye roll.
Dave shut up and did as he was told, feeling the bright red lipstick smooth over his lips, before smacking them together.
"That's all I can do for your face. Anything else would be a fucking miracle." Dirk said as he closed the makeup bag, "Look at how goddamn beautiful I made you, and pass me your sash for a quick moment."
Dave passed Dirk the sash without a word- surprisingly- and Dirk left the room with it. As he was gone, Dave finally decided to take in his appearance in the vanity mirror. Dimly, he heard a sewing machine going on, but paid it no mind. He looked like a fucking majestic princess. Dirk had worked wonders with the concealer making his already pale skin paler, and brought out his freckles in a sharp contrast. The bright, bloody red of his lipstick merged perfectly with the light pink blush dusting his cheeks, and the black, smoky eyeshadow looked flawless paired with the red cat-eye of the eyeliner, and made his eyes look bright and sparkly. Then he noticed a small red heart painted under his left eye.
"What the hell..." Dave trailed off, not believing his appearance.
"Oh, the heart?" Dirk said, walking back into the room with sash in hand, noticing where Dave was looking, "That's kinda like my trademark. Roxy usually gets either pink or dark blue heart, Jane a beige and red or light blue and red, Kanaya black or Jade green, etc... Solid red worked for you best though." Dirk said nonchalantly, kneeling at Dave's waist to reapply the sash. The sash now was longer, reaching to the floor with a black and red bow and trails. In the center of the bow, where the knot should be, was Dave's trademark broken record symbol.
"Holy shit Dirk." Dave stood up and twirled, "I look hella. Thanks, I guess. I mean you don't totally suck after all." Dave's seemingly insincere words were contradicted by the quick hug he gave Dirk.
Dirk shook his head with a smile, before dragging Dave out of the room, "Grab your purse and be gone. You're gonna be late, and my sleepover can not be put on hold any longer, thanks to a fifth wheel."
Dave did take his purse as he came out of the room, forgetting his shades, and complaining loudly how girls clothing never has any proper pockets. He then heard a slightly slurred "Hallelujah brother, speak da truth!" From Roxy.
Roxy, Jake, and Jane were all by the sofa, which was right by the door, so there was no way to get past them without flash stepping, but Dirk's firm hand on his shoulder prevented him from doing so. Dave slightly pouted as he stepped into the room, fully intending to ignore the inhabitants, when he got accosted into a hug by a slurring (but sober- she's been clean for about five months now, but the slurring had become a basically permanent fixture in her speech), Roxy.
"Damn boi, you look hella fineeeeee." Roxy all but sang, stepping back to look at him.
"Yes indeedy! Dirk sure did a dazzling job with your face, ol'chum! I could almost mistake you for a lovely damsel!" Jake exclaimed, throwing in two pistols and a wink for good measure.
"You do look great, Dave! Where are you going though?" Jane inquired, tucking a piece of loose hair behind her ear.
"He has a date with John." Dirk said in a deadpan.
"Dude, not cool!" Dave said blushing, as Roxy squealed. Dirk just shrugged and took a couple pictures of Dave, "S'true though", was his only justification.
Dave just groaned out loud, before quickly absconding the fuck out of the apartment, hoping he wasn't going to be late for his very important date.