The Blender

by LordsFire

This is my repository for miscellaneous story fragments that I thought were interesting, but not interesting enough, or perhaps worth enough effort, to turn into full stories in and of themselves.

5. Beard

AN: ALLLL THEEEEE WAAAYYYYY!

((()))

Behind Ryan's Beard, is another beard.

Out of jealousy, the Dwarvish nation declared war on Ryan's Beard. When was the last time you saw a Dwarf?

Life is horrible, then there is Ryan's Beard.

A list of the top ten enemies of life was compiled; all of them were hairs in Ryan's beard.

Cave Bears live in Caves, Ryan's Beard lives on his Chin.

Zod kneels before Ryan's Beard.

Before entering a barber shop, listen carefully for the sound of shattering razors; Ryan's Beard might have gotten there first.

Ryan's Beard hungers. It hungers for Justice.

Spider silk used to be the material with the highest known tensile strength. This was before Ryan's Beard.

Someone once claimed that Ryan's beard was incapable of time travel. Now no one can find record of who made the claim.