AN: It's like an electrical storm right in front of my retinas!
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Ryan's Beard does not get shaved or trimmed, it periodically turns on itself to thin out the weak.
Ryan does not open doors; his Beard intimidates them into giving way.
In the age when pirates were known by their Beards, Ryan's Beard was all of them. At the same time.
Ryan's Beard has met Starswirl the Bearded.
Ryan's Beard taught Happosai Anything Goes Martial Arts. Such is Happosai's fear of Beards, that he refuses to grow the traditional 'Ancient Master' martial artist's beard. He also refuses to allow his students to grow beards.
Paul Bunyan was Ryan's Beard in a clever disguise.
Ryan's Beard was once the dictator of a third world country. It wasn't worth its time.
The USSR once lost a test missile during the Cold War. Since that day, Ryan's Beard has been a Nuclear Power.
Ryan's Beard was asked to audition as a villain for Sailor Moon, but was too terrifying for the target audience, and Pharoah 90 and Wiseman threatened to quit out of jealousy. (The Shittenou were found crying in a closet over their lack of manliness)
Ryan's Beard demanded tribute of the Elemental Nations and the Hidden Villages. Only the Sarutobi clan were wise enough to pay. Beards have been mighty scarce amongst the other clans ever since.
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Omake:
One day, Ryan was making use of the facilities, when a fly began buzzing about and troubling him. Due to its speed and size, he was at first unable to swat it, however, soon it landed on the window. This being a part of the world with heavy winter, there was both an outer and an inner window, the fly having just landed on the outer. Ryan proceeded to close the window, then swat the inner window over where the fly had landed.
Over a short period of time, the fly became accustomed to the motion of Ryan's hand, and learned to ignore it. Then Ryan opened the window, and swatted the fly.
The moral of the story: Ryan will use behavioral psychology to exterminate nuisances.
Translation: Ryan can kill you with your mind.
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AN: I'll also be posting more of Cameron's Legacy on Space Battles this weekend, bar unforeseen complications. If you want to see it on FFnet, you'll have to wait another week. In case it wasn't clear, The Blender is not exclusive to Harry Potter stories.