a/n: Been awhile!
Quinn sleeps in ignoring all the calls. He never sleeps in. It's just another assignment in another city and one that he'll have to leave for tomorrow. He deserves this sleep. He'll get to it, eventually.
Hours pass and his eyes pry open to a mysterious light. Low and behold, it's the sun. He's made it past the dawn of day. An accomplishment in his book. Now he understood the whole rest in peace thing - but still alive, still existing.
He stumbles to quench his thirst, for once needing water before his coffee. Replenished and feeling good, he finds a spot on the couch - soaking up the sun. He smiles thinking about her and about what she might be doing right now. Mostly he's wondering if she's thinking about him too. What were the chances of that? Whatever she's doing, he wants to know.
He gets bored just thinking, then decides to look her up and see what he can find. He hacks into various utility companies trying to find her address. Once he has that It'll be easy from there. 'Is this stalking?' he thinks for a moment - likely.
Of course it's the water company that he's able to circumvent - it's never been difficult before. Such an amazing distraction at the moment. These numbers across the screen are where she lives. What better way could he spend the day then to look at her?
He follows her for the day, each moment passes quicker than usual. It's quite routine in the morning. That man - he still doesn't know his name - arrives just as she leaves with Franny. It's strange to see her with her kid - just so normal, so natural. It's twisted, but he just wants her alone. All of her for himself with no distractions.
Things change up after she drops her off. Some things he expects, and some things not at all. But there's a confidence like he's never seen before. The kind he wishes he had too. It's like he never came back at all. A snapshot of someone he doesn't know, but he can't look away and he wants get closer. It's all a priority now. The fangs sink and refuse to let go.
A few nights pass and he follows her to a trendy part of town. He hadn't really anticipated this. And she's alone right now - very alone. No Franny in sight - which was quite different from the past couple of days. Exactly what he wants right now.
The only thing he can see are her red stilettos and skinny jeans, and her hat covering her golden locks, shivering in the winter wind. She waits patiently at the door for her turn and he can only imagine what she could be doing by herself at this restaurant. Likely to meet that man - Stefan he had found out was his name. He hadn't been around all day. It'd ruin everything at this moment.
His hand clasps around his mouth as he waits with bated breath. He hasn't even touched his beer with the possibility of him losing her in his sights. Blinking is risky at this point. Even the passing traffic is unsettling. Yet he stays in place, just watching, waiting. His lips are now raw from the slow chew.
Finally, Carrie enters and he can see her smiling and waving. She sits with three other women and removes her trench. Once she sits, he nurses his drink as he watches now that he's out of the danger zone. She's in place.
They all laugh as it seems she's telling them a story - something funny. These were her friends. She has friends. She has a life.
Her drink arrives at the table - the same kind that he had estimated it would be. It looks like clear liquor with a citrus fruit on the rim. He can't quite see her face, but he knows that she's smiling too.
He'd hardly seen her smile the first two years he knew her. There were the isolated days she did, but it had been mostly diluted by everything else, possibly fake. This isn't fake at all. He finishes his own drink in dyer need of a closer view.
The bar has an ample number of seats available, and he chooses just the right one. Incognito mode takes over immediately, surely his best skill. It's she that he wants at the moment. His unquenched longing for something better, which is practically anything, but she's the best. The landing strip for his never ending flight.
Every time she moves, he feels himself moving to. Even just a slight twitch of his finger or a quick smack of his lips. It's painful knowing that there's not going to be an exchange tonight. Only a view of her life that he chose to miss. Such a wishful thinker with the worst intentions.
The time eclipses and he not even sure how long it's been. Minutes? Hours? Suddenly, like fate, she gets to her feet and he just realizes that his little niche in the world is directly next to the bathroom.
He turns and makes a pitiful attempt at blending in, yet she still doesn't notice him. He really wants her to notice, so he makes her. Nothing can stop him.
"Carrie," he says meekly as she's walking by.
Her eyes widen at his presence, though she's not as surprised as she thought she'd be. She grabs him by the hand, whisking him off to the corner where they can't be seen. Her sudden contact with him leaves it's mark as soon as they touch.
"Quinn! What are you doing here!?" She whispers, but is loud enough to get her point across.
He forces a patient smile, and tries to come up with the right answer.
"I don't know," he says in fear of dissapointing her with anything else.
"You need to leave! They're going to see you," she motions towards the group.
000ooo000
It was difficult at first to meet anyone here or to talk to anyone outside the four walls of work. It was even comfortable, just herself and Franny. The focal point of her world after leaving her old world behind. Her eyes more open as each day passed.
But after meeting Stefan everything else had become easy. Life was easy. Social skills, who knew? She made friends, and kept them. Just more positivity orbiting in her new life here.
Despite being the youngest doctor on staff, Stefan was quick to become popular with the other physicians. He met their families and so did Carrie. And tonight is girls' night.
000ooo000
"Carrie I-"
"Stop. Not here." She takes out a sheet of paper, writing a few words down. "Saturday morning?"
"Sure."
She could have said 4 am and he would have agreed.
"I'm trusting you with my address Quinn." She says it like she knows he's guilty. The pleasant surprise is that her number's on there too.
"I know."
Sometime during the wait, he had rested his left palm against the wall over her right shoulder, like he's going to be there awhile. It's comfortable just being able to be here, seeing her, knowing that she's safe. He gets lost in the moment, not wanting to let it go.
"Bye Quinn," she attempts to awaken the reality. But she can't stop staring either.
It's subtle, but she slowly begins to move past him.
"I missed you," he turns and says. It's perfectly aligned, he knows that she felt his breath tingle her ear. She does.
Carrie watches as he pulls up, like he knew exactly where he was going. She can only imagine how many times he'd driven by in the past two days.
"Coffee?" She asks him.
"Sure."
"Not your first time her, is it?," she asks as she pours him a cup.
"No," he tells her, taking a seat. There's really no point in lying.
"Fuck," she cocks a slight smile. "I can't believe you're still here," she sounds slightly annoyed, judgmental even.
"Yeah. My choice," he emphasizes.
The stillness remains for awhile after. Carrie diverts her attention to Franny who's relentlessly scattering her toys all over the next room over. She's at the point where she wants to do everything 'all by herself'.
"Why can't you just..." she starts.
"What?" He hardly moves.
"Talk!"
"About what!?"
It's just sitting there that's safe and content. This way there's no possible way to mess anything up. It'd be even easier if he could guess what's on her mind. To know exactly where she's at without a single word being said.
Franny rushes over, startling Quinn. Carrie immediately shifts her attention.
"Mommy, I broked it," Franny panics, hiding the plastic treasure chest behind her back.
"You broke it," Carrie corrects her.
"I broke it," Franny repeats.
"Let me see it."
Franny hands it over, diligently watching as Carrie attempts to snap the plastic toy back together.
Quinn watches her struggle and instinctively takes it out of her hands and - like the machine he is - puts it right back together.
"Who are you?" Franny is curious about Quinn.
"Who? Me?" He looks around looking absolutely foolish.
"Well she's not talking to me," Carrie tells him sarcastically.
"Uh... I'm Peter... um Quinn," he says awkwardly.
"Is it Peter ... or Quinn?" She's adamant.
"Either or," he says.
"What?"
He confuses her. Franny studies this strange man's face who's sitting so comfortably next to her mother.
The last thing Carrie needs is for Franny to tell Stefan about him. Things were going fine this past week. Though she had thought about him - a lot.
"Call me whatever you want."
Carrie can't help but laugh.
"Okay Peter who-are-you?" Franny's louder this time, maybe thinking he didn't quite hear her.
"Mommy had a different job - when you were little. I used to work with Peter," Carrie intervenes.
"You did!?"
"Mmhmm."
It's so relieving that Franny couldn't remember then, because she still remembers so much. The lonliness and depression had engulf her whole being, and the only way for it to go away was to do what she did. It's cloudy, yet vivid.
And Quinn was there, he was. He instilled so much faith, yet hadn't left any for himself. Quinn never told her what to do, just let her know what she could do. That's what she misses the most, having him as a friend.
"What did you do mommy?"
Carrie gulps, but her patience seems immaculate.
"Lots of stuff," Carrie concludes with a smile. Franny is particularly satisfied with that.
"Okay. I'm going to go play again," Franny dismisses herself.
"She's like you," he says as soon as Franny leaves the room.
"I know."
Carrie waits for him to say something else, all the things she knows are hovering in his mind. But he's as silent as he's over been. The conflict of what he's been doing is tightly wound and it shows on the outside. He's a bundle of nerves waiting for something to happen instead of making something happen. It's time to break the barrier.
"Honestly Quinn, do you see yourself doing this everyday?"
"I don't know," he's honest, taking a deep breath at the end. She's throwing stones at his glass house.
"What do you see then?"
"I'm trying to figure that out," he says with desperation in his voice.
"Yeah," she turns away, looking at her feet. "Well I have it all figured out... and you don't," she slightly chokes at the end.
"So this is it? This is what you want?" He's more calm than she expected.
Carrie looks him straight in the eyes, letting him know she means it.
"Yeah," she nods. "As long as you're there, no."
The conviction is finally out, floating like the smoke after a bomb goes off. It wasn't a game or a point, but a deal breaker. She's leaving no room for compromise. All or nothing.
He's lost and bewildered with her stance, especially with what he's witnessed.
"I think I can make you happy," he says sliding his hand down her leg.
Her eyes follow his movements for only a moment. He's still not understanding even as she pushes his hand away.
"As long as you're there, I don't want to see you. I can't."
His breath is heavy, mind scrabbling to make it right, arranging the words in his head, but he can't.
"I'll leave," he pleads.
"No you won't Quinn," she fires back.
"Please," he lightly grabs her face forcing her to look at him.
"Quinn!?" She's nervous now knowing that his emotions have quickly shifted.
"Carrie, just listen to me," his hands move to her shoulders, holding on tight.
"You don't have anything to say! Let go!"
"No!" He screams. He can't if this is the last time they'll touch.
"Let the fuck go!" She screams.
Franny easily identifies the conflict and emerges at the edge of the room. Quinn releases, terrified at what he's done.
"Okay momma?" Franny asks.
"Fine baby. Peter was asking about your bunny," she assures her. "Can you go get your bunny?"
"In my toy box?"
"Yes. Go get it."
"Why?"
"Franny go get it!"
Carrie waits as she finally agrees, ready to end this.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" He backs away. The hysteria is too overwhelming even for himself. Redemption now is key.
"Quinn you need to get the fuck out of my house!" Carrie demands.
None of this has gone by plan. There never was one. Only one thing left to keep this alive. The hook, line, and sinker. Not that it would help in this moment, none the less vital.
Their faces are closer than they've been all day, locked with the same expression of confusion. His last hope awaits in the words yet to be said. Leaning in closer he finally releases them, almost whispering.
"I saw you with the Station Chief Carrie."
She huffs louder than before, never as angry with him as she is right here right now. They both know he's not going away anytime soon. For the time being, he leaves before she can even say another word.