AN: Because Keratin is just that scary.
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Originally, the Cthulu Mythos contained Ryan's Beard; however, after a 'talk,' Lovecraft and his writing associates were persuaded not to include it with 'the riff-raff.'
Ryan's Beard has been the presiding chair of the League of Beards since its founding.
Ryan's Beard was slated to appear in 40K, but the Emprah decided to go clean-shaven instead.
Originally, the Sun was simply a Gas Supergiant at the core of solar system. Then Ryan's Beard decided it was too dark, and told the solar system's other celestial bodies to do something about that.
Once, in an age long past, there was a continent occupying part of what is now the Pacific Ocean. The entities now known as Ryan's Beard, Chuck Norris' beard, and Mr. T's hair, had a throw down; now all that remains is the Ring of Fire.
For kicks, Ryan's Beard operated under an assumed identity and dabbled in Comedic Villainy in the mid 20th century. The ultimate product of this later became known as The Lost Skeleton of Kadavra.
Ryan's Beard was once spurned by a major player in the Anime industry. Beards became so scarce therein, that the Bishi emerged as a result. This act of retaliation is one of the few things the Beard regrets.
The Romans considered beards to be a sign of an uncivilized people; rather than simply destroy their civilization outright, Ryan's Beard spent more than a thousand years rubbing their noses in the folly of their ways, before finally finishing the empire off.
The influence of Ryan's Beard upon Egypt was so strong, that even the female Pharoah's were expected to have beards.
Ryan's Beard watched the Tsara Bomba detonation. From Ground Zero.
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AN: I like cake!