Fathers and Sons Chapter Eight: Paradise Lost
With gloved hands, Buck and Mano waved goodbye to Casa Cueva in late afternoon. Dust clouds billowed as they kicked Rebel and Macadoo into a steady lope. An hour from the pueblo, surrounded by cholla, ocatillo, saguaros, and sky, they slowed their horses.
"Mano, how we gonna explain to Big John that we don't have all his money? I mean you paid Roy what John owed him but after that…"
"Compadre, what Big John does not know will not hurt him, will it?"
"No...but what don't he know?"
"Buck, Tucson is on the way back to the Chaparral, is it not?"
"Yep."
"Well then, we shall stop in Tucson and withdraw $150 from our account at the bank, si? This we shall give to Big John. We have merely, cómo se dice, taken out a small loan of short duration and without interest from your brother."
"Well, long as he don't find out. We still owe him 'bout hunnert dollars from the money he give us to pay off Patterson."
"I know that, hombre. He will not find out. And anyway, we tried to pay him back in full and he would not accept it. 'Wait' he said. 'Leave yourselves some cash reserves.' Did he not say this?"
"Yeah, he did."
"Well, then we have only taken his advice, have we not?"
"He do love to give advice."
"Sí," Mano laughed. "In that he is much like my father, no?"
"Yep, but I don't think I'd tell him that anytime soon."
"Es cierto. At least not till we pay him back." Mano laughed.
"Hey Mano?"
"Sí?"
"While we's in Tucson, we might as well git us a drink or two, don'tya think?"
"I would have never thought of that, amigo! Andale! Vamonos!"
A weary night on the trail made El Toro Loco look pretty good the next evening. Tinny piano music drifted their way as Buck and Mano tied their horses outside the Tucson saloon. A cowboy pitched headfirst out of the swinging doors, landing on his face in the dirt. Mano and Buck eyeballed the fellow and each other and smiled.
"Heh, heh, heh, seems like things is goin' jes fine tonight, don't it?" Buck chuckled.
"Sí, amigo. Vamonos!" Mano grinned and slapped Buck on the back as they pushed open the batwing doors.
An old timer in a derby and shirtsleeves pinned by garters bashed out "Buffalo Gals" on the piano in the corner. Around a card table in the middle sat four serious gents paying no mind to the three gals dancing around them on the arms of some dusty cowpokes. Buck and Mano dodged the dancers and reached the bar, where a space opened up.
"Hey Mike, lively tonight. Red-eye for me and tequila for Señor Montoya, please."
"Comin' up Buck." Mike poured their drinks and returned to filling beer mugs, sliding these down the bar to thirsty customers who flipped him coins.
Buck, grinning, shifted around to survey the scene.
"Hey, Buck! Buck Cannon!" a loud yell resounded from across the room.
"Bart! Hey, Mano it's Bart!"
Before Buck could set down his drink, Bart Kellogg lumbered over to pound them both on the back. Mano had taken a sip too soon.
"Bart," Mano coughed, shrugging the shoulder that the bear of a man had slapped.
"Hey Mano, Buck!" Sam, Joe, Pedro, and Reno banged through the batwing doors next, rowdy and glad.
"A quiet drink, amigo," grumbled Mano, his good humor fading. "You promised me a quiet drink. Ay yi yi!" He had not expected this reunion and felt his mood darkening, although he was not sure why. These were his friends, after all.
"Hey boys! Look Bart, it's the boys!" Buck roared.
Much back slapping and ordering of drinks and clinking of glasses continued for many minutes, to Mano's chagrin. He smiled, his mouth a thin straight line, and said little. Try as he might, he could not even feast his eyes on the lovely senoritas, surrounded as he was by large cowboys, whom he could see very well at the rancho the following day.
"Manolito!" Uh oh. A throaty voice told him Pilar had found him. Since she had arrived in Tucson after leaving El Lobo in the desert, she had been making a constant play for him. Caramba, what next?
"Manolito, do you not still love me, hombre?" Pilar purred, pouting and pressing against him. "Come to Pilar." She stroked his hair and brushed her buxom chest into his side. He blinked and sighed, forcing a smile.
"Hola, Pilar, cómo estás? Quieres tequila?" He pressed his still almost full glass in her hand and dropped a swift kiss under her ear which she reciprocated.
Buck stayed in fine form with his drinking buddies, passing out whiskey and beer and chuckling.
"You shoulda seen Big John on the way up to your place the other week," Joe said. "His face woulda scared the devil."
"Yep, I can jus imagine, Joe."
"Hey Buck, what'd y'all do with Roy?" Sam asked. "Leave 'im in Mexico?"
"Well now that you mention it, amigo Sam…"
Mano quit listening and spied a free table some cowboys just left. He hurried over with a fresh bottle of tequila, another glass, and Pilar on his arm. She nestled in his lap, fingering his hair. He smiled at her more out of politeness than passion and poured a drink.
Moments later, Buck realized Mano was no longer at the bar. He slapped a few more fellows on the back and handed out a couple more drinks before gathering a bottle of red-eye and a glass and heading over to Mano's table.
"Amigo, what you doin' over here all by yourself? Oh pardon me, Miss Pilar, I didn't see you there." She scowled at him, then looked at Mano whose expression remained grim.
"Ay, hombres!" She flounced off, leaving them alone at the table.
"What's wrong, Mano? I thought you wanted to have some fun in Tucson, didn't ya?"
"I wanted to take some time and relax with a few drinks, but I did not want to meet everyone from the rancho and old friends as well." He jerked his chin in the direction of the bunkhouse boys and Bart who roared at another joke Sam told.
"But they's jes' havin' fun, Mano. Don't you want to have fun?"
"I don't know, amigo. I thought I did, but now this is all too much, too loud, too many people. I don't know. What is wrong with me, hombre? Ay yi yi!"
"C'mon, Mano, have a few drinks. Forget about your daddy!" Mano shot Buck a look sharp enough to slit his throat.
"No good lookin' at me like that, I know'd you be riled about him. Him not saying goodbye an' all." Yet another sharp look, but no words. Mano just sipped his drink.
"Relax, Mano, we got the cash out the bank; we got the bill o' sale for the cattle for Big John. We can give him all this in the mornin', cain't we? Shore we can! So let's have some drinks and some laughs with our friends, okay?" Mano's eyebrows went up yet still he said nothing but looked straight ahead.
"Hey Bart, Sam, Joe, c'mon over here and let's have us a friendly game of poker."
Mano resigned himself to feigning good cheer...either that, or the questions they would all ask would be too much, demasiado de verdad!
Early the next morning, Buck squinted into the rising Tucson sun. Sam dunked his head in a water trough; Pedro held his head in his hands, moaning in Spanish. Joe and Reno laughed with hoarse voices.
Mano remained as clear-headed and unamused today as he had been yesterday. He had sipped maybe two or three drinks all night. He had played poker and had laughed at the stories, but his heart remained untouched by this fun Buck insisted he really wanted. Señoritas stopped by the table to talk to him, but soon walked away. He had not felt like talking...or anything else. What was wrong with him? Not wanting to drink, play poker and laugh at bad jokes-this was bad enough. But not wanting to talk to or caress a lovely señorita or one not so lovely was a disaster insoportable! Qué pasa hombre? he asked himself.
Once mounted, they rode back to the ranch at a fairly brisk pace. John had told the boys to enjoy themselves but to get back early, Buck figured. His head felt disconnected from the rest of him. Seemed like he was seeing two Manos ahead. He spurred Rebel to catch up with both of 'em.
"Mano, how you be doin'?"
"Fine, Buck, just fine."
"You don't sound fine."
"Really, estoy bien, gracias."
"Well, if you don't want Victoria asking you a million questions, you better get your face to look more fine than you feel, amigo, or you is in fer a full dose."
Mano looked at him sideways from under his hat brim, but he knew Buck was right. Victoria would not be fooled. What was he worried about anyway? His father had not said goodbye; that was not unusual. Why did it affect him so this time? I am a disappointment to you, Papá, this I know, but you could show some affection, some pleasure in my company. Just acknowledge that I am your son, could you not do that for me? Such thoughts swirled around in his head like a fog that would not lift. His head was too full of them.
John Cannon raised his eyebrows and shook his head yes, pleased as Mano handed him the contract for the purchase of cattle, a receipt for half the amount due, and a thick fold of banknotes he had not needed to use when buying the vacas from his father.
"Six dollars a head? Not bad. Good job, Mano," said John, perusing the paperwork.
"Had you needed fewer than 500, Papa would not have been so willing."
"Did he get wind of why?
"Nope, Brother John, he surely did not," Buck confirmed. "We kep about as quiet as church mice 'bout that." He grinned. "Ac-shully, Don Sebastian seemed more interested in Roy an' his horse whisperin' than he did them cows."
Mano grimaced. "Claro que sí."
"Manolito, how was Papá?" Victoria called, wiping floured hands on an apron as she emerged from the kitchen to greet brother and brother-in-law.
"Oh, howdy there, Victoria!" Buck exclaimed with a big smile which Victoria returned.
"Papá is Papá, Victoria," Mano said without emotion. "Anyway, John, I told Rodrigo we would return with a crew to collect the cattle in two weeks."
"Fine, fine. Thank you. You two get some rest. Tomorrow we start moving the herds up to the north range and clearing that south range. Give the grass a chance to recover before we put that 500 head of young stock on there."
"Uh, we left Roy down in Casa Cueva, time bein', John," Buck added.
"Oh?"
"Don't you worry none. He on horse business fer us. You ain't payin' him this month."
"Horse business?"
"Sí, Juano. We may have need of part of your corrals for some mares we have, ah, managed to acquire….'
"Well, I don't see any problem with that. It's part of our arrangement, isn't it?"
"Shore is, Brother John," Buck exclaimed. Mano blinked and took a deep breath, wondering what his brother-in-law would say about Toronado...and the need for a trip to Sonora en febrero.
Well, part of this could wait. But his sister would not.
"Manolito, ven aquí!" Victoria called to him from the dining room. He complied as he always complied. "What do you mean, Papá is Papá? How is he, Manolo?"
"Victoria, he is the same. He never changes. You know."
"Mano, I do not know. He is not young."
"Sí. But he is as strong as a lion." Or is he? Mano paused but dismissed the doubt.
"Manolito, you do not look happy," Victoria assumed a honeyed tone.
"Hermanita mía, I am ecstatic. Delirious."
"Mano, you have not been the same since you came back from that, that place," she said, then, softer, Tell me what happened, Manolito. Tell me."
Ay, here it goes, he thought.
"My sister, I was betrayed by an old friend and almost hanged. It was not a pleasant experience. I wish to forget it."
"Oh, you and your...your friends," her tone became dismissive.
"It was Dave Redmond." Victoria's eyes widened.
"No? Dave? The one who accompanied you when Mamá... But he was so polite...so…"
"Decent. Yes. But not anymore. Anyway, now he is dead."
"Ay, Manolito. No wonder you have been unhappy. But he is dead, you are alive; this is what is important."
"Sí, but…"
"But?"
"But I have realized something, Victoria. There is none immortal. I have looked death in the face many times but never have I known it to be waiting for me, just outside. And never have I really believed it would come."
"But it did not."
"No. But if it had...what would Papá have said to that? Hanged as a murderer and thief. And he would not have been surprised. It would have confirmed his opinion."
"No Manolito. He would never think that. And this did not happen, Manolo. This you must remember."
"Sí, but for now I simply wish to forget. Can you not understand this?"
Victoria nodded and kissed him on the cheek. Never in her life had she been without her brother for more than a few months at a time. They thought as twins. She understood that this time, he must be left alone.