He missed that at one point in his miserable incarceration, Kaizuka had visited for only thirty minutes, once every two weeks. At the time, he'd hated it. Now, he would gladly go back to it.

Kaizuka had been there for the transfer, making sure that he'd been moved safely, securely, and he noted, secretly. Slaine had his suspicions about that, but he let them go. It made sense that he would be a wanted man out in the normal world. He wondered if the whole 'for your own protection' argument was valid in his case. Kaizuka had never used it before. Slaine wished he could test it, but the impulse only lasted a few seconds. He was having a hard time feeling strongly about much of anything, other than Kaizuka, who he would rather like to have gone.

Kaizuka had stayed that whole day, listening patiently to nurses and doctors alike, both in and outside of his earshot. Slaine now knew a lot more about his actual health than he had in months. His doctor at the prison hadn't ever been forthcoming with diagnostics or explanations. He had preferred threats and intimidation instead of explanations. He obviously had not anticipated rational responses, which Slaine admitted was a fair estimate of his mental state. He'd seemed rather used to the idea that Slaine had little say so in his own care. To be fair, Slaine had never asked either. He didn't care, it had just been one more spiteful thing that had been denied to him. Now that he had some of that information, it was easy to see how little it mattered. Sure, he could go out of his way to sabotage the whole situation, but that felt like so much effort. He was still spiteful, that hadn't gone away, but it was dulling. Almost every time they'd fought, Slaine had lost in some way. Even when he'd sunk a bullet in Inaho's still functioning head, he'd been the loser. He'd only had victories when he'd played his cards right, when he'd waited, and been patient. Even then, his victories had been few and far between. Some petty attempt to refuse care would likely earn him a feeding tube and heavy mediation. He was numb enough already, he didn't want more. He'd wait and bide his time till the opportune moment, when an obvious solution presented itself.

Kaizuka had spent the night, sleeping in the adjoined bed. Unable to sleep for most of the night, Slaine had laid awake, wondering what it would feel like to walk over and wring Kaizuka's scrawny neck. It was in poor taste, even though he hated Kaizuka, suffocation was a horrible way to go. He also wondered if he had the nerve to even try such a thing. He'd only ever killed for the princess, and only ever used bullets or Kats to do so. They'd been easy, and he'd still done it wrong. He couldn't even hang himself, and he was more than willing to be dead. It was exhausting to consider, and hypothetical at best. He could still feel the cuff on his ankle, ensuring that he did not move from that bed. Kaizuka slept softly, safely, next to him. If he cared enough, it would make him mad. At his current predicament, he was more interested in trying to forget Kaizuka's presence, in favor of gazing out the window of the room. There was no moon out that night, and it should have been perfect for seeing stars, but the lights of the hospital glowed beneath him, and obscured the view. All he could see was inky blackness, with lingering hints of blue. Stars would have been better, but he settled easily enough. It was better than the small window in his cell.

The next morning, Kaizuka was still sitting there, clicking away on his phone. Slaine wanted him gone. Kaizuka had people that actually mattered in his life; he had the Empress, and he had the woman. Slaine was sure he had more, but those were the only two he was aware of. Kaizuka had a support group, people that would help him if he needed it, people that he could rely on implicitly, and he was spending his time clicking away on some damn machine, sitting in a hospital room, babysitting a suicidal mass murderer who would much rather be put out of his misery.

It was enough to make Slaine genuinely angry. He'd felt unwavering lethargy and apathy ever since waking up after that psychotic episode, but the sudden burst of anger did not dissipate like all the other emotions did. He wanted Kaizuka to leave. In fact, he wanted all of them to leave; the guards, the nurses, the doctors, all of them, but Kaizuka most of all, because he should have just pulled the god damned trigger. Shouldn't have been the 'better man', shouldn't have been 'rehabilitating' him, shouldn't be investing time and energy and sacrificing whatever else he was shoving to side lines. Slaine thought of the woman, how she openly hated him, how she had probably cried at Kaizuka's bed side, and he wanted to scream. There wasn't anyone in his life that hate the people who'd hurt him. There wasn't anyone that was going to come and cry at his bed side, and if there was he damn well wouldn't be ignoring them. He wouldn't have waltzed right back into the room after the Empress herself came to see him, like Kaizuka had.

Kaizuka just kept clicking away, his fingers moving at rapid speed, his eye glued to the screen of his phone. Slaine thought - making sure to look anywhere but at Kaizuka - that he could have reached over and choked the other man right then and there. It wouldn't have mattered, the guard would have heard the commotion, and they'd have pried him off. Kaizuka might have had a set of bruises around his neck to prove it, but it wouldn't matter in the end. The woman would hate him more, which he deserved, and Kaizuka might actually go away.

He could do it. As long as he was fast, he'd catch Kaizuka unaware. There was no real danger in it, Kaizuka wouldn't really get hurt; it took too long to asphyxiate someone. His situation would get worse, but how worse could it get? Someone's eye was on him every second. Someone awake and aware was always in the room with him. Even air was being pumped in and out of his lungs artificially. How worse could it get if he was to wrap his hands around Kaizuka's neck and tighten?

He wouldn't. Slaine knew that, but he couldn't keep the thought out of his mind.

There was a small knock on the door. He recognized it as one of the nurses, she had a particular wedding band that wrapped on the door in a certain way. He continued staring off into the distance, past the walls and the eyes and the cuff on his ankle chaining him down.

The door slowly opened. He smelt roses.

His eyes were on the door in a heartbeat. Arranged simply in an elegant glass vase, were fifteen blue roses. He was somehow aware that Kaizuka had gotten up, and ambled over towards the nurse, that they were talking in soft tone that he should have understood, but could not. He couldn't keep his eyes off of the flowers, or the hand written card that stuck out of them.

Blue roses have two meanings. Please believe in whichever gives you peace.

-E