Before we get to the chapter:
Guys, please. If you are having trouble with life or you're depressed, find someone to talk to about your feelings. Tell somebody how things are going. Find positive outlets to express how you feel or how you are doing. Don't bottle things up and keep them to yourself if you feel you are barely functioning. A few weeks ago, I lost a good friend of mine. She committed suicide. No one even knew she was going through some rough things because she was always laughing and smiling and being her typical hyper self, so it's been really hard coming to terms with the fact that we would see her at school and never know what she was going through. It breaks my heart. We were her friend, and we could do nothing to help her. So I'm begging you, if life is difficult or if you have ever thought of ending it, please talk to someone, anyone. If you need some support, I can listen. Just PM me. We can chat for as long as you'd like.
You might be fed up with life, but believe it or not, someone's life has been changed for the better because they met you. And if you think that's not the case yet, someone's life will be changed for the better when they meet you. You are a light in this world. So please, please, please get some help from anyone if you start thinking the world would be better without you. The world will NEVER be better without you. You are in this world for a reason and the world needs you around.
And finally, someone loves you even if you think no one does. I love you. Okay? If you can't find anybody to live for, live for me, kay? Because I love you.
Please think about it. The ones who hurt the most and are in the most pain are the ones you leave behind. Think about how losing you will affect those who won't ever see you again.
I know that was kind of morbid, but I needed to get it off my chest since she's been gone.
Apologies: let me continue with the story now.
A/N: Writing the latter half of this chapter was so damn hard... I might go back later and change it...
And finally: The Weasley's Second Daughter asked me how many chapters I projected for this story. The answer to that question is 5.
Thanks for the reviews! Always appreciated! :)
Disclaimer: I don't own IDDI and I'm only using the characters to entertain!
"Good news Jasmine!" Lindy cheered, coming in from the kitchen waving her beer in the air, "Logan says he found your phone."
"Did he sound… put off? Or like, different on the phone or something? Like he knows?"
"No, I don't think so. He sounded normal. Maybe a little tipsy?" Lindy shrugged, "He said he'll give you the phone at the pregame."
"Hell no. After last week's Incident, I'm not going to any pregames any time soon." Jasmine responded, lying fully on the couch after Delia stood up.
"What?" Delia rose a brow, "But pregames are awesome shit. You really don't want to come?"
"Hmmm, let's see. Get crazy drunk around Logan while I currently have a 'hard-on' for him and possibly end up in bed with him again? Or worse, reveal my secret?" she snarked testily, "I'd rather not."
"Well, you'll be missing out." Delia said, grabbing her coat. "We'll see you at the game though, right?"
"Yeah. Just call the apartment when you guys are getting ready to head over. I'll meet you there."
Lindy sighed, "C'mon Jaz… Are you really going to let this whole thing with Logan dictate whether you have fun and go out and party?"
"Yes." Jasmine said simply, burrowing her face further in the pillow, "I almost kissed him. Don't you think it'll be totally awkward?"
Delia shrugged, "Only if you let it."
"Well I feel awkward! I know I'll act weirdly. It's better if I just avoid him for now. You think you could grab my phone for me, Lindy?"
"Sure." She and Delia turned to leave the apartment and go to the pregame. "We'll see you later at the game, Jaz."
"Have fun guys." She called out.
"We will!" Delia shouted back as the door closed.
Jasmine sighed and furrowed deeper into the comfort of the couch. So maybe she was being ridiculous. There was a good chance Logan didn't care at all about the almost kiss and had already forgotten about it entirely, but she couldn't help it. She was terrified.
The whole sleeping with Logan thing wasn't as terrible at this point, because he was still completely clueless about that. But almost kissing him? There was no way he wouldn't jump to some conclusions as to her reasoning of why she decided to kiss him. He had tangible evidence that she wasn't opposed to kissing him. If he didn't come to assume that she was interested in kissing him after that, than he really was more clueless than she thought.
"Dammit…" she moaned into the pillow, drowning out the sound of the TV.
She was jittery and nervous in a way she hadn't been since she got her first crush in middle school and accidentally revealed it in front of the whole class. She had tried to convince her mother to let her stay home from school the next day because she thought she would die of embarrassment. That kind of feeling.
Lindy was right. She probably had overcomplicated things and now he would know she had feelings for him. She would be so embarrassed if he found out and said he had no interest. He probably didn't have any interest either. She still couldn't think of any reason why he would want to kiss her in the first place except that he was a guy and guys wanted to kiss girls and were horny idiots.
Blowing out a long breath, she pried herself up and stretched loudly, trying to push it to the back of her mind for the time being. It was starting to darken outside because of the impending rain from the storm clouds, and no doubt, in about half an hour, the pregame party would make their way to the football stadium for the game. She had to take a shower and get dressed.
She groaned, knowing that she would end up running into Logan sooner or later. She couldn't hide from him forever. If she did, he'd definitely know that this almost kiss was fucking her up. Big time. She only hoped that he would ignore what might have happened and just act like it never did.
~.~.~
"'Scuse me! Coming through!" Delia's voice came from somewhere behind Jasmine.
A few seconds later, Delia came up next to her and perched against the banister railing of their stadium section. She was scowling and looking like she was about to clobber the guy behind her. Jasmine was sure he had been shoved into Delia's back at least a handful of times.
"Jeez… What does it take a girl to grab a damn soda…?" Delia slurped her drink in annoyance.
"What?" Jasmine yelled through the noise, "Can't hear you very well!"
"Nevermind!"
The crowd around them ooh'ed and cringed when their quarterback took a particularly brutal hit from the opposing team and was thrust roughly into the ground. Jasmine winced. She could never understand why anyone would willingly want to play such a brutal sport.
Lindy shook her head and leaned over to Delia and Jasmine, "What the hell's wrong with our defense? Can't they block properly?"
"I don't know!" Jasmine shouted back, sighing mentally in annoyance. Why the hell did they come to the game? Sure, it was Homecoming, and they were here to support Garrett, but this was singlehandedly the most crowded and crazy game of the entire season. Alumni came back to watch it and every student basically went to get the free stuff. All the bleachers filled pretty quickly and all tickets were sold. So she and the pregame group they came with ended up on the second level behind the damn marching band, wedged into the metal railing. They didn't even have seats! It wasn't ideal and having her eardrum blasted out because of the fucking tubas was definitely less than stellar. Especially since it had been drizzling all afternoon and had now picked up a bit of girth. Though she wasn't drenched, her tank top was definitely harboring a thin layer of water, and it was only going to get worse. It was hot, and it was sweaty, and it was crowded, and despite the campus police attempting to pacify the craziness, it was futile.
This was supposed to be an enthusiastic, super hype game. Like most all other students, even though she was decked out in school memorabilia, accessories, and colours, she had virtually no enthusiasm at all. She was just tired and wanted to just drift away from the real world for a while. Especially away from all the shit that was going on with Logan. She'd avoided him like the plague, making sure she was always talking to someone or another as they walked over. And last she'd seen him, he had been standing a little ways away with some of their other friends. But honestly, it was hard work steering clear of him. Jasmine was amazed that almost a week had gone by since The Incident. She was so exhausted, it felt like she'd been dealing with this mess for over a month. This couldn't be healthy for her.
The crowd went wild again when they advanced another seven yards, bringing them back to the first down. The annoying frat boy next to her hollered and whooped, slapping a high five to his companion, and in the process, elbowing her in the forehead. She spun to the guy on the other side of her with an almost crazy look on her face.
"Hey! Can you watch it, dumbass!" she yelled.
He spun around too, and her lip curled in disgust when she smelled the alcohol rolling off of him in waves. Yet another reason why she hated football games. The damn drunk people.
"Sorry lady." He laughed, staring down at her chest.
"My eyes are up here, you creep." She growled in response. He ignored her and laughed, turning back to his friend.
Rolling her eyes, she turned back to face the game, wishing half time could come already so she could pretend to go to the bathroom and leave. This was stupid. She didn't want to be there, and she was in a horrible mood. She would rather be studying Comp Pol than be at the game, and that was saying something.
She recoiled in disgust and almost gagged when a wave of B.O. rolled over her nose and leaned over to her friends. She'd had it. She needed to go. "Lindy, do you have my phone?"
Lindy's face took on a somewhat guilty look, "Uh… I couldn't get it back."
"What? What do you mean? Where's my phone?"
Lindy's eyes went to somewhere behind Jasmine, and she gestured to that general direction. Before Jasmine could turn around to see who Lindy was referring to, a hand lightly settled on her waist. Even before he spoke, a thrill went through her body, and she jolted, her breath catching involuntarily. She knew exactly who it was. Because only one person at the moment could make her body react that way from a simple touch.
"You okay?" Logan's voice suddenly asked in concern, right in her ear.
Surprised at the suddenness of his appearance, she jumped and spun around to look at him over her shoulder.
"When did you get behind me?!"
And then she realized he was much closer than she had originally assumed. His left hand was gripping the railing, and he was leaning into her, effectively creating a barrier between her and the rambunctious guy on her left. He was almost fully pressed against her back. He was so close that she could feel the distinct warmth of his body against her back despite the fact that there were several other people around them.
Eyes widening, she spun back around as fast as possible, squeezing the railing with both hands and fighting and failing to keep the blush off her face. She knew her face was horribly on fire. Part of her wanted nothing more than to back up into him and just let him hold her, but she fought that side and maintained the little distance between them, pressing herself more firmly against the rail. Delia snorted and started waggling her eyebrows suggestively. Lindy nudged her to stop.
"Thought you might like some help." He said in amusement, his lips brushing a little against her ear so she could hear him. "I saw you get hit in the head."
She shivered and leaned a bit more forward, trying to put some more distance between them, "I-I don't need help! Can you back up a bit?" she stammered, "I'm trapped."
"Are you?" he said, somewhat in amusement, "Sorry. No can do. There's no room behind me."
Delia nudged her suggestively with her elbow, "Must be nice, eh Jasmine?"
Jasmine shot her a perturbed look, "No… Tell him to move!"
Delia poked Logan's side, "She wants you to move dude." And then she grinned evilly, "But she's totally lying because she's most definitely enjoying this."
Jasmine stomped on her foot, affronted while Delia cackled loudly. The crowd momentarily went wild when the opposing team's receiver fumbled and they reached third down. The tuba near her face began one of the chants, and Jasmine groaned when her ears were once again assaulted. The rain was starting to pick up and with each drop pelting her on the head, her mood increasingly soured.
"Logan," Jasmine asked nervously, "I literally can't move. Move? Please?"
"I have my reasons, you know. Your shirt is see through, by the way. Guys have been talking about you all night."
"What?"
She looked down and realized that the rain had soaked her tank through to the point that her bra —her bright pink bra with red lace, totally cute—could be seen. Now she understood some of the looks she had gotten throughout this 2nd quarter. Her bra was almost completely exposed! Jasmine wasn't exactly fully sober, but she was so not drunk enough to not give a shit about it.
"Crap!" She cried, stooping over and covering her chest with her hands. "Why didn't you guys say anything before?"
"Cuz you're hot." The guy next to her drawled, cutting into the conversation.
She and Logan both shot him a lethal glare, and he put up his hands, turning away with a laugh again.
"I didn't even notice," Delia supplied, a Penelope Harkniss book in her hands. She wasn't even watching the game, "But that's what you get for wearing a white silk shirt in the rain."
Lindy stared at Delia in incredulity. How the hell was she able to read through all of this noise? And where had she been hiding it? "Jaz, I told you not to wear that top yesterday! Don't you check the weather forecast?"
"Nobody but you checks the forecast, Lindy. Besides, I wanted to look cute." Jasmine looked slightly over her shoulder, "Well? What the hell are you doing Logan? Give me your shirt."
He rose a brow, "What? No way."
"I just need it for now so I can go to the damn bathroom and dry mine. I'll be back with it soon enough."
"Fine." He relented, before tugging it over his head swiftly and giving it to Jasmine. A group of girls in the surrounding area catcalled and whistled. Jasmine avoided his gaze and forced herself to stare at the shirt.
Avoiding looking at him directly, she took it from his hands and then crouched to switch out of her clingy, wet shirt. Looking left and right to make sure she wasn't being watched, she took a deep whiff of Logan's shirt and almost melted in the ground. It was buried in Logan's scent, and she absolutely loved it.
"You know, if the camera panned over this way, it would totally look like you were giving Logan a blowjob." Delia said.
Jasmine's hand reached out and slapped Delia's leg while Logan started laughing hard.
"It really does look that way."
"Shut up! Both of you!" She stood back up, face burning red. Jasmine wanted to die of mortification. The t-shirt was entirely too large for her and stopped at her thighs. Honestly, with Logan being shirtless and her in a t-shirt that looked like she wasn't wearing any pants, it looked like they had been participating in illicit debauchery in the stands.
Jasmine turned around to thank Logan, but stopped when she saw how he was looking at her.
"What's wrong?" she said, a little quietly.
"Nothing."
"You're giving me this look."
"What look?"
"I don't know! It's just this look." But she definitely knew that look. It was that possessive look guys got when girls wore their clothes. She'd seen it enough times in the past, and she absolutely recognized it on Logan's face. It was very pronounced. And one could say, considering they were best friends, the look he was giving her was highly inappropriate.
"… Are you envisioning me naked?" she asked incredulously, finally meeting his eyes.
"Hey, I'm a guy." He said, watching her intensely, "And you're wearing my shirt."
"Perv…" she said, though her pulse was racing, and she couldn't break eye contact.
"Get a room you two…" Delia muttered in boredom. "You're making it way too easy to tease you."
Jasmine rolled her eyes and finally nudged Logan aside, "I'm gonna go see if I can dry my shirt a bit. I'll be back soon."
She left the area and walked down the ramp towards the bathrooms under the stadium bleacher seats. Once she was safely in the bathroom and out of any watchful eyes, she hopped up and down and squealed in excitement. There was a good chance Logan thought she was hot. Why else would he imagine her that way? Humming to herself giddily, she ran her tank systematically under the hand dryer. So maybe she was acting like a child with a crush, but knowing the guy you liked thought you were attractive was the best thing to ever happen.
Finally getting her shirt to a decent enough level of dryness so that her bra wouldn't be completely visible, she pulled off Logan's shirt and put hers back on. The pink could still be seen, but it wasn't so bad that it would bring those particularly perverted boys' fantasies to light. Besides, it wasn't like she was going to stay at the game anyway. As much as she loved her recent discovery of Logan's (possible?) attraction to her, she had no interest in football. Especially not some crowded game with terrible, drunk, annoying people. She was going straight home to pamper herself.
Quickly fixing her hair into a ponytail so the small dripping was constricted to one zone, she left the bathroom, t-shirt in hand. There were more people now in the concession area of the stadium than when she had left early in the quarter. She walked by a TV and looked up, realizing that half time was quickly approaching and most people were trying to grab snacks and use the bathroom to beat the lines that would definitely form soon. She'd been gone much longer than she expected.
And then she ran into someone. Shaking her head, she backed up and rubbed her nose.
"Sorry…" she muttered, a little nasally. It had actually kind of hurt.
"No problem." He turned around with a grin, and Jasmine realized she recognized the green eyed brunet. She couldn't pinpoint from exactly where though.
"Hey. You're Jasmine, right?" she frowned a little bit and nodded slowly, "We were in the same Bio Lab bay freshman year."
"Oh yeah!" Jasmine smiled, lightly smacking her forehead in realization, "Luke, right?"
"Yeah. You still premed?"
"Ha! No. I don't really know what I am anymore. I declared Poli Sci last year, but I honestly am just taking whatever I want without regard to my major."
Luke nodded, shifting so that he was fully facing her. "Yeah, me too. I'm BioChem. I thought I could handle it, but clearly I was wrong. I dropped premed sophomore year, and now I have no idea what to major in."
She snickered, "Hey at least you lasted longer than me."
An easy smile lifted the corner of his mouth, and he took a small step closer to her, "I'm surprised I don't see you much on campus."
"Just go to the frats on weekends. I'm usually always there on a table without my top." She joked.
He laughed, "Didn't take you for a party goer. You always seemed super studious."
"Sometimes I just have to let loose." Jasmine replied, smiling.
"You learn something new every day." He said, glancing temporarily down at her lips before meeting her gaze again.
And then Jasmine felt herself shiver involuntarily with the feeling of being watched. She couldn't describe it, but she knew that someone was watching her, and she could feel goosebumps rising on her arm. She knew who was watching her too. She almost missed Luke's next question because she could feel the intensity of his gaze.
"You know, we should hang out sometime. Could I get your number?" Luke asked, with something of a smirk. She realized since she started talking to him, he had gradually reduced the distance between them. But it was only as a consequence of her realization that Logan was approaching them slowly. She hesitated to respond and that must have given Logan all the incentive he needed to cut into the conversation.
"That might be a problem since she doesn't have a phone anymore." Logan's voice said right next to her. He reached behind her and leaned his hand against the wall that Jasmine was standing nearby. He extended his other hand to Luke, "Hey, I'm Logan."
"Luke." Luke responded calmly, though Jasmine wasn't entirely sure their interaction was particularly friendly. "How do you two know each other?"
"He's my best friend." Jasmine turned to Logan, suddenly remembering that Lindy wasn't able to get her phone. "Wait! I forgot you still have my phone!" And then she realized that Logan was leaning into her quite a bit. And he was still shirtless. She blinked in surprise and forced her gaze back to his face.
Logan's smirk grew larger, and he pulled out her most prized possession from his jean pocket. "You still have my shirt."
She took a step back and thrust the t-shirt at his chest, trying to put some distance between them. Logan was invading her space, he was imposing, and it was making the goosebumps rise on her arms every time she met his eyes.
"Shirt returned. Now give me my phone."
Logan rose a brow in challenge but didn't take the shirt, and Jasmine realized with trepidation that he was going to make it very hard for her to get her phone back. Now she knew why Lindy hadn't been able to get the phone back. Because Logan hadn't wanted to give it back.
"Honestly, I don't think I want to." he said, in a low tone, watching Jasmine with an inscrutable expression.
Jasmine frowned, a little taken aback by his response, "What? Why not?"
"I don't know… the possibilities of blackmail with this phone. There are endless options."
She snorted, shifting so she was facing him directly and planted her hands on her hips, "There's no way you'd successfully be able to blackmail me, Logan. I have way too much dirt on you."
"You think so?" he said, somewhat smugly, looking to the left.
Jasmine looked in the direction Logan was looking and realized that Luke was no longer standing there. In fact, he had disappeared somewhere and she hadn't even noticed he had gone. It wasn't lost on her that just by being in her presence, Logan had singlehandedly managed to capture all of her attention.
"What happened to Luke?"
"Who?" Logan responded, turning his attention back to her.
"Luke, the guy I was talking to before?"
"The guy you were flirting with before?" Logan said, eyebrow raised in annoyance.
"I wasn't flirting with him!" Jasmine snapped, affronted.
"Then why are you trying to find him again?" Logan asked with narrowed eyes.
Jasmine frowned. Logan was acting jealous. And Logan rarely acted jealous. Was he jealous? There were several ways to test that theory, but Jasmine was a little worried that trying to push his limits might fuck something up. But she wanted to know why he was acting that way.
"Maybe I wanted to give him my number." She challenged, carefully watching Logan's facial expression.
"So I wasn't wrong. You were flirting with him?" he asked, the expression in his eyes darkening.
"What… does it bother you when I 'flirt' with other people or something?"
And then her voice died in her throat when Logan's smile dropped completely, and his eyes searched her face for a few endless moments in which Jasmine tried unsuccessfully to breathe normally. Silence reigned between them, and Jasmine waited with baited breath for his response.
"Yes. It does." He stepped closer to her, his expression way more serious than she'd ever seen him before, "You know what else bothers me? You and Garrett."
"Wh-what do you mean?" Jasmine backed up in shock, subconsciously realizing that she was trapped against the wall yet again, and Logan was effectively boxing her in.
"I mean, what's the deal with you two?" he near growled, sapphire eyes flashing with heat.
Jasmine's pulse began to race, and she looked anywhere but his face, trying to find an escape route so she could get out of this situation. She was being cornered. And Logan knew he was trapping her, because he turned completely until he was in her line of sight, and she couldn't see anything except his broad shoulders and the peeved expression on his sexy face. She was finding it more and more difficult to breathe when all she could smell was the invasive, alluring scent of his cologne.
"Logan…" she stuttered, alarmed by this side of him, "Th-there's nothing–"
"Did you sleep with Garrett?" he asked, caging her against the wall, his gaze lowering until it was trained on her lips.
Jasmine's face burst into colour, and she choked on her words at his question. She held the t-shirt up in between them with shaking hands, as if it could be a barrier to keep him away, but Logan merely watched her impassively, eyes boring into her as if he was mentally stripping her naked. At least, that's what it felt like to her.
"I-I…"
"Did you?" he asked coolly, lifting his eyes to meet hers once again. It sent a thrill straight down to her core, and Jasmine fought the urge to moan out loud.
Lightning ran down her veins. She couldn't think. Not when he was watching her like he wanted nothing more than to fuck her against the wall. She was having a hard time controlling herself. She'd been turned on before by guys, but never like this and never to this degree before.
"No…" she finally responded, not realizing she had ousted the cover she had been using to protect her secret.
"No?" he said softly, giving her a diabolical smile, leaning down until his mouth was almost pressed against the corner of her own.
Was he going to kiss her? Jasmine nodded in affirmation, and her eyes fluttered closed as she leaned up into him. She felt lightheaded and in that one moment, couldn't care less if kissing him would ruin their relationship. Jasmine let out a little moan when he lightly trailed his lips across her face until they were pressed against her ear. Her arms slid up of their own accord until they were wrapped around his neck and her hands buried in his hair. Who the hell cared who was watching? To hell with decency. She was certain if Logan tried anything, she would be completely down for it, no hesitation.
"What's the Incident?" he whispered softly against her ear.
Under her little cloud of lust, Jasmine might have answered, and not given a damn and thrown all her hard work to conceal her secret into the dumpster, but there was something about his tone that stopped her. Something calculating and almost sinister. Her eyes snapped open to Logan watching her reaction with narrowed eyes.
She scoffed in offense and pushed him away by the shoulders, putting much more distance between them.
"What the hell?!" She snatched her phone out of his hand and swooped under his arms with a look of disgust. How could he toy with her emotions like that to get what he wanted?! "Kiss my ass Logan! There's no way I'm telling you about the Incident."
"We'll see about that. I know you're hiding a secret from me Jaz. You can't hide it from me forever." He shrugged and leaned against the wall. "I'm willing to bet I'm going to find out what it is soon enough."
She swallowed thickly. Logan didn't usually act so forward or antagonistic. He preferred to sit back and let things happen on their own time. But clearly, he was actively seeking out answers now. It scared her. If he had easily been able to breech her defenses and get her to open up and speak, who's to say he wouldn't be able to get her to spill later?
She glared at him confidently, despite the fact that she was shaken beyond belief, "I wouldn't take that bet Logan. You'll never find out what The Incident is."
"Never's a pretty strong word Jasmine." He said cryptically, his eyes dancing in the light.
"Yeah? Still not gonna happen." She hissed, clutching his t-shirt tighter to stop her shaking hands.
She flipped her hair over her shoulder and stormed away, leaving the stadium. She knew Logan was watching her and thanked goodness he could not see her face right now. She was red as a tomato and still buzzing with excitement and apprehension. Not to mention, painfully turned on and trying hard to force herself not to find the nearest bathroom and take care of her problem right now.
Logan was suspicious of her secret. All the work she had done to guide him away from that suspicion had been wiped away. She didn't even know how he had even come to learn of the Incident in the first place. But now, it was obvious that he had connected some dots and was definitely taking measures to figure out what was going on.
It scared her how easily he was able to compromise her and get her to reveal she didn't sleep with Garrett.
She paused temporarily, groaning softly in despair.
"Fuck…"
If he knew that she didn't sleep with Garrett… then that meant that he now knew she could have slept with anyone else… including himself.
"I'm so screwed…"
Her secret was falling apart at the seams and it was only a matter of time now before he found out for real. She had to do damage control. Somehow. And soon. Before everything went sour and before she lost her best friend.