Sonara wrapped her shivering body in her thickest coat. If the cold had managed to find it's way into the keep than the stables would be freezing. She silently crept out of her room and closed the door as quietly as she could manage. Her feet silently padded down the hallway, barely making a noise.
She had made it through the castle without encountering anyone until she reached the door that lead outside. There were two guards stationed at it just as she expected. She stayed hidden until she could make out their faces in the torch's lining the walls dim light.
The first man was a familiar face his name was Adrian. He was a really only a boy, only 17 and he often guarded this door. He got his high-ranked job through connections and not his dedication to protecting the Stark's and she knew she could convince him to let her leave. The man on his left was not someone she recognised. He was around his mid-twenties and he had a stern look on his face.
When she approached them she let her footsteps sound a bit louder so that it seemed less like she was sneaking around. She rearranged her face to look upset and desperate. The guards looked at her with curiosity.
"Please excuse me. I'm afraid I had the most awful dream. May I please go seek comfort in my dog? He is being kept in the stables and I would be ever so grateful if you would allow me to see him." She asked quietly.
The older man regarded her with doubt. Adrian however was more interested in the swell of her breasts. She hated to play it that way but she discreetly shouldered her coat off of her on one side to reveal her thin nightgown. The man fortunately had no interest in little girls and was unaffected. She didn't think she could handle both men staring at her without shivering in disgust.
"Go girl. Your father will punish me if he sees you out here." He said.
"Don't worry Alfred. I will escort the girl to the stables. Her father will only find out if we tell him." Adrian said.
Alfred hesitated but then slowly nodded. He was new and hadn't established his place in the guard yet. He did not want to upset the son of one of Eddard Stark's personal guards.
"If you are caught I'm telling them that it was all your choice and I had no part in it." He said.
"I won't get caught." He replied with an arrogant smirk. "My Lady." He said holding his arm out.
Sonara pulled her coat over her shoulder and wrapped herself properly once again. She then linked her arm with the boy's and let him escort her out of the keep. Cold air burst out from the open door. It felt like icy lashes being brought down on her face but she pushed on.
They made their way to the stable arm in arm. She didn't like huddling up so close to him but his body broke some of the wind before it hit her and the warmth of his body was too tempting. They reached the stable and he opened the door for her as she rushed inside. He went in after her and slammed the door shut. They both sighed in relief.
"Would you mind staying outside please? I would prefer if this was private."
"You want me to stand outside in the cold?" He asked incredulously
She nodded as sweetly as she could. She was starting to panic internally. Maybe she shouldn't have told him to wait outside but she couldn't have him waiting around while Jon and her have an intimate discussion. If she couldn't convince him she would have to go back to her room. She needed to talk to Jon. If she didn't talk to someone about everything she thought she might explode.
"Please do this for me Adrian." She said putting a hand on his chest.
"No" He said "Actually I ought to take you ba-"
She cut him off by pressing her lips against his. It was all she could think of doing in that moment to convince him. She pulled away to see a dazed look on his face. She had him right where she wanted him.
"Please for just a few minutes?" She asked biting her lip.
He nodded his agreement and left. She breathed a sigh of relief the moment the door shut. She was glad she could drop the sickeningly sweet facade. She made her way to where the pups rested. To her surprise Jon was already there, hidden behind a bale of straw. Ghost layed next to him, relaxed by the soft strokes Jon gave him. He didn't acknowledge her presence as she settled down next to Dusk. Instead his eyes remained focused on a spot on the wall. She ignored his strange behavior and instead closed her eyes and enjoyed the feeling of relaxation that she had lacked all day. She pulled herself out of her trance and focused on Jon instead.
"I don't have much time. Are you going to tell me why you stormed out of the hall?" She asked.
"I don't feel like sharing anything with you at the moment." He replied venomously.
She stared at him with her mouth agape. His eyes were still focused on the spot on the wall. He almost never lost his temper with her especially over seemingly nothing.
"Why are you acting like this?" She asked.
His temper blew and he snapped his head towards her. His glare fixed on her face.
"Why am I acting like this? What about you!" He shouted.
She had no idea what he was talking about. Her confusion quickly changed to anger. 'How dare he shout at me like that. I didn't do anything to him' she thought.
"Are you going to tell me what you're talking about or am I going to have to guess?" She shouted back.
At first he didn't say anything back. He went back to focusing on his spot and calmed himself down. He couldn't keep his thoughts to himself for long.
"At first I thought 'It's the Prince of course she's happy to be with him. It's not surprising that she's flirting with him a bit' but then you kept touching him and pretending to laugh at all his stories. I still didn't think much of it but now you're doing it with the guards too? Do you just go around kissing any boy to get what you want?" He scoffed.
"It's none of your business what I do or don't do!" She retorted.
"You can be so selfish and manipulative. Do you ever think of how your victims feel when you use them like that?"
"Well they feel pretty damn pleased from the looks of it. Why does it make you so angry anyway?"
He opened his mouth to fire another retort but closed it again and went back to his spot on the wall. He obviously didn't want to give up the reason and she couldn't figure it out herself. It wasn't as if he was saying all of it from a big brother perspective by the way he reacted. The reason clicked in her mind when that thought crossed it.
"But Jon you're my brother!" She exclaimed.
"I'm not your brother. I've looked into it." He said.
"What evidence have you found that suggests we don't share the same father?" She asked doubtfully.
"I overheard two old women gossiping about a man that was seen walking out from your mother's room late at night nearly fourteen years ago. They thought that it was a bit suspicious that his visit was nine months before your birth. Apparently he was an old friend of her and he had come to congratulate her on Robb's birth about a week before father came back to Winterfell. I followed the lead and found the logbook for the inn he was staying at. I found a matching name and date. He did check in in the early hours of the morning and it was a few days short of nine months before you were born. It makes more sense than the story that you were conceived 8 months before. I didn't want to tell you because I knew you'd be hurt by it."
No way was she ever going to believe that story. It was not proof at all. It was just a story that Jon found to make sense of his twisted attraction for her. Her mother loved her father and even if she didn't she was too honourable to commit adultery. Nothing could make her cheat on her father.
"That doesn't prove anything. I was just born a month early." She argued.
"Babies that are born a month early almost always don't make it through birth. If they do they are at least some what unhealthy and small. You were completely healthy and average size, big even. I talked with Maester Luwin about it." He said.
"You're just grasping at straws." She said shaking her head. "I have to go."
She got up and started walking away but Jon continued.
"You know it's true. You just won't accept it. You don't look like father. You don't even really look like your mother either. You had to get your looks somewhere. You've told me you don't think you belong with your family"
She stopped walking away at that. She had shared her feelings with Jon about her family and how she didn't think she belonged. Where her family was honourable she was sneaky. Where her family was honest she was manipulative. There were too many differences to list. She always tried to be more like a Stark but it wasn't in her nature.
"You are not a Stark. You know it and I know it." He finished. "And... And I know you've felt something for me too" he added hesitantly.
It was true that she had... feelings before. She had always pushed it away though because he was her brother. She just dismissed them but now they were all resurfacing.
Her mind was a confused mess. Jon was making her doubt herself with truth but at the same time she so strongly believed that none of it was true. The easiest thing to do was just push all of her doubts aside and direct all her feelings at him. He was the one that made her feel this way after all. He hurt her with his lies. She turned back to him with tears building in her eyes determined to hurt him.
"You and I both know that you are not a Stark. You are a Snow. A bastard. How could I ever have feelings for someone like that?" She said.
He winced like her words had physically hit him. She almost felt regret that she used his worst weakness against him. Her fury was too great to really regret it though. What he had told her was something that hurt her in a way that she had never felt before. He made her doubt her whole life. All she wanted was for him to feel like she did and then worse.
Suddenly the door opened. In stepped Adrian shivering from head to toe. Jon was hidden from his sight. All he saw was Sonara standing in the middle of the stable with tears streaming down her face.
"Are you crying?" He asked dumbly.
She hastily wiped the tears from her cheeks.
"I'm just-um-" she mumbled.
She looked up at his face and had an idea. It would certainly hurt him. She motioned him forward so that Jon could see them both clearly. He hesitantly stepped forward. Once he was right in front of her she reached up and wrapped her arms around his neck. This time when she kissed him there was no holding back. She put all of her anger into the passionate kiss. He matched her with equal enthusiasm. His hand traveled down her side and settled at her butt. It lasted for over a minute before she pulled away. Their foreheads rested on each other as they both panted for breath.
"We better go. The longer we're here the more likely we'll be caught" he reasoned.
He grabbed her arm and lead her towards the door. Before Jon could disappear from her view she sneaked a look at him. She felt a sick satisfaction when she saw the tear tracks running down his face and his tight fists in his lap.
That night she tossed and turned in her bed unable to sleep. After she had time to calm down she felt sorry that she hurt him so badly. If he was that upset that she pecked Adrian on the lips and flirted with Joffrey then she could only imagine how the little show she put on would have hurt him.
His feelings disturbed her because they made her think of all the times she felt the same way. Her feelings were the most convincing thing that made her doubt herself because they made Jon's words that she knew she wasn't a Stark true. How else could her feelings be justified besides her knowing deep inside that she wasn't a Stark? His words slipped in and out of her mind all night. 'You are not a Stark... You are not a Stark... You are not a Stark...'
I think this was my favorite chapter so far. So much drama! I know Sonara is a bitch but that's how I like her. She's going to be doing some shit that is a lot worse than this later on. However she will learn to become a better human being. Tell me in the reviews if you think Jon was right about her parentage or if he was just desperate to justify his feelings.