Chapter Four: Forsaken
There are two options: for the coup or against the coup. I can watch Konoha burn, or I can save the village and my brother. At the price of my own humanity.
Just as my clan have made up their minds about the coup, so have I made up mine. Danzo was right when he told me there was no hope left for peace, I learned that after I lost my composure and attacked Kaito and the others – nobody trusts me anymore, I hardly have a voice in this clan. My pleas for peace have fallen on deaf ears.
And so I have chosen what I consider the lesser of two evils.
Tonight I think. I've been putting it off for an entire month, now there are only days left before the scheduled attack on Konoha.
Today will be spent steeling my heart, squeezing every drop of feeling out of it as though I were juicing an orange. When night comes, I must not let panic and empathy worm their way into my head. I must not hesitate or the entire operation will be jeopardized.
Tonight I will no longer be Itachi. Itachi will sink into the darkest depths of my mind to a place that he will never return from. Itachi, the quiet, gentle Uchiha will be lost forever.
Let's practice. I tell myself, See if you can.
In my hand I hold that photo. Yes, that photo. Shisui and Itachi smile up at me, oblivious to the pending danger. I've taken it out of the frame which lies abandoned on the floor. My fingers tremble as I grip the top of the paper.
Don't hesitate, just do it!
I squeeze my eyes shut and pull. There is the sound of tearing paper and the sound of tearing out a young man's heart together. Still with my eyes closed, I tear again.
And again.
And again.
And again.
Until I could not put this puzzle back together if I tried.
Last night it rained hard, and there are still puddles and mucky wet spots on the ground. I burst open the window and throw the bits of Shisui and Itachi out, watching them flutter to the ground and come to rest in a small pool of murky rainwater. The ink blots, marring out anything that could have been possibly recognizable.
And that little voice in my head says, Tonight you won't be able to close your eyes.
I know my mother has noticed that something's wrong. I heard her asking Father if he thought I was having a relapse over Shisui. Father replied that he hoped I was going to get over it and take an Anbu mission soon because he's sick and tired of me moping around the house all day.
"You're coming to my induction ceremony, right?" Sasuke hops onto my back like a squirmy little monkey. "Right Nii-san? It's next week!"
"Of course." I swallow my guilt over the lie and deliver it with a smile. What I don't tell him is that even if I wasn't going to stop my clan, he probably wouldn't be inducted because the attack is planned for that same week and the village would be in the midst of war.
"Now will you teach me shuriken jutsu?"
"Not today." I don't want to throw a kunai until I have to. I poke Sasuke's forehead over my shoulder and his face turns sour.
"That's what you always say." He pouts, jumping off my back, "You never have time for me."
It's not that, I want to tell him as he stalks off, It's just that I don't want you to grow up liking the sound of weapons hitting bodies and pained groans.
Like I'll be hearing tonight.
…..
5 pm.
Five hours to go. I'm packing a backpack to take with me with a little food and some extra clothes. I don't know where I'll go from here, haven't thought about it. I'll probably settle down in some tiny fishing village until Sasuke's old enough to bring me what I deserve. Because for what I'm about to do, I deserve nothing but the worst pain and torture.
Suddenly, I know I can't do this all by myself. I can't be the only one to bear this burden.
I'm that kind of guy. The one who brings people down with him when he falls.
Except . . . there's one person I know who's already forsaken.
…..
"Itachi."
I had imagined a low, baritone voice akin to my father's, but what I hear is something higher and quite average sounding. I don't ask how he knows my name and I don't ask how he can still be alive. I am here for one thing and one thing only.
"Madara." I've found him sitting in a tree, inspecting his fingernails. But as we begin, he leaps down and lands as softly as a cat before leaning casually against the trunk.
"I prefer the name Tobi, if that's alright with you."
"Of course." We are both exuding false politeness, testing the waters.
"How can I help you, Itachi?"
"First," I say, because I'm determined to be in charge here, "Tell me what your plans are for Konoha." I know he's got some nasty plan for the village. Just like the rest of this clan, I think dryly as Madara considers whether he's going to answer truthfully.
"Same as they were eight years ago," he shrugs, "Bring the village and its inhabitants to the ground."
"Everyone?" I ask him, "Or just the Uchiha?"
"Well now," he says softly, "There's an idea."
"Look, I'll make you a deal. You leave Konoha alone, and I'll let you help me take out the clan. I fulfill my duty to protect the village, and you get revenge on our kinsman who kicked you out."
"You know," Madara crosses his arms, "I'd taken you to be one of those pacifist ninja that goes around preaching peace, but now I see you have a healthy streak of bloodthirstiness in you. I like you, so I'll throw in an added benefit per say. You've heard of the Akatsuki, right?"
"Yeah." I remember learning about the organization in world studies, "Orochimaru joined not too long ago."
"Oh, yes, Orochimaru. A little creepy, but a genius nevertheless." Madara nods favorably, "Anyway, I've got some . . . good connections. I could get you a spot if you're interested. Think about that; it's a great honor. They only take the most powerful ninja throughout the world. And," he adds humorously, "The position comes with a cool new coat."
My first instinct is to refuse; the Akatsuki have a reputation as a notorious bunch of sadistic criminals, but then I start to think about the major benefits a position like that would have, chiefly that of passing on inside information to the Hokage.
"I'll take it." I stick out my hand, "Do we have a deal?"
Madara reaches forward to shake my hand once. "We have a deal."
A/N: constructive criticism/feedback always appreciated!
if not tomorrow, next update will be a few days because I'm going on vacation.