They spent entire night making love and giggling like children that did something forbidden. They had their little secret no one knew about.
''I can't believe we are having a baby…''
''I can't believe I'M pregnant…One of the reasons I married you was so you would do this and I would drink and party with our friends after the baby is born….''
Holly's face fell for a moment. Gail regretted what she said.
''I'm so sorry… Me and my big mouth…''
Gail really felt bad about what she said. Sometimes she just… She was speaking without thinking. She remembered some of their old jokes and the ways she teased Holly before…before IT happened to them.
''No, it's fine… I remember you said something like that when we got married… After that crazy weekend we didn't leave the hotel room. You were making jokes about one of us getting pregnant. And I remember saying that I'm almost positive it would be you. I want you to know I'm fine. I know you didn't mean anything bad by it.''
''But I hurt you…''
''Gail, it will never stop hurting when someone talks about it. I will never stop wondering what would it be like to feel and experience it all. But, I have you and we are having a small family love. I can't tell you how happy I am for this baby…. I will not lie to you and say I am not jealous of you, but also I will not be lying to you if I say there is no happier person in your life about this.''
''Unless it's a boy and my mother decides to turn him into a Peck heir…''
''I want OUR baby to be who it wants to be. I don't care that the Peck family is made of cops and Stewarts are mostly lawyers or doctors. I will be happy with our baby being what makes it happy.''
''Holly, I want our baby to be happy. Promise to me you will not let me turn into my mother… Please…''
''I promise, but I believe you wouldn't do that.''
''Why?''
''Because you still remember how she made you feel.''
Gail nuzzled to Holly's neck and kissed her favorite spot.
''You could never make our kid feel that way. You are not your mother and I am not your father. I would never let you say or do any of the things she did to you. I wouldn't ever let anyone hurt our baby like she hurt you.''
''That is why I have no doubts about this. I know I will always have you to call me on my crap and if I do something to hurt our baby or babies…''
''You want more than one?''
''Yes, but not at the same time. I wouldn't handle twins..''
''And if they are?''
''If they are….we are screwed… We will have at least five years of hell.''
''Oh, ever the optimist…''
''I love you Stewart….''
Holly smiled at her wife…
''And I love you too Stewart.''
She placed her hand on Gail's stomach and smirked…
''And Stewart little…''
''Oh, my God! You didn't do that! You didn't call our baby Stewart Little…''
''But it is…. It's little and it is Stewart….since both of us are Stewart… We are starting our small Stewart dynasty…Our parents will go insane when they find out that we are having a baby. Especially mama Peck.''
''She is going to flip when she learns that baby will be Stewart.''
''Why?''
''She wants Peck grandkids.''
''Steve and Tracy could…''
''No, that wouldn't be possible. Tracy can't have more children. She had some complications during her pregnancy and Leo is it for her.''
''Oh, so it's only you…''
''Yap! No pressure!''
Holly kissed her wife's cheek and smiled at her.
''Secretly, you love it that it's up to you if they have grandchildren. You love that you are her only hope.''
''I do… I know that it's immature and all, but… For the first time something will make me more important that Steve. It will be ME who will give her a grandchild, not him. ''
''Gail…''
''What?''
''It's not nice to say that. ''
''It's true. ''
''Gail, listen to me. She loves you. She has some special ways of showing it, but she loves you wery much and she needs you to be there too.''
''Holly, she was never there for me… In the moments I needed her most she was not there.''
''When was that?''
Holly noticed Gail was upset. Something was bothering her.
''Long time ago. Not worth remembering….''
''Gail…''
''Yes?''
''You promised me the story of how you got promoted…''
''Wow, way to find a story for the night…''
''You don't have to…''
''I promised and you want to know…''
She took a deep breath and started her story.
''It started few weeks after you left. I couldn't stand to be at home and to be near the things that reminded me of you. I applied to the undercover operations and I spent pretty much five years going from one to the other.''
''Five years?''
''Yes.''
''That is a lot…''
''I know. So, I had a lot of good results and all of my operations resulted in arrests and all that I could do to get them I did.''
''You mean you risked your life?''
''I always did… You met me and knew I was always the one not to run from the fire and the situations where I was needed.''
''But I have a feeling you did it more than usual.''
''Maybe…''
''Gail?''
''I almost died….''
''What?''
''I almost died during one of the operations. I didn't care much if I live or die. I just wanted to solve it.''
''What happened?''
''I infiltrated as an escort to one of the parties. I had a little to drink….actually…a lot… I needed to get my emotions off. It was my birthday and our anniversary. During my ''session'' with client I ate something with tomatoes on accident...I think it was an accident.''
''Oh, God.''
''Paramedic came on time and they managed to save my life.''
''Gail…''
''At that moment, I didn't care about anything Holly….I missed you so much and I wanted to die.''
Holly was crying.
''I'm so sorry Gail. I never imagined breaking you that much. I'm so sorry.''
''Hey, it's not your fault. I am responsible too…''
''I know… But, it doesn't make me feel any better.''
''Holly, we did some things to each other, but we did the most to ourselves. We are responsible for our actions and things we do. You didn't push me to do any of the things I did. I would probably do most of them regardless of what you said or did.''
''I know, but I still feel bad about all the things that happened. You risked your life and I worked myself to forget it all. I lived in the morgue for first two years. I had such a hard time to sleep in the middle of the bed. I was always leaving you some space… even when I knew it's not real. I would fall asleep on my side of the bed and I was waking up hugging your pillow. I did it to us. And I feel so bad about it.''
Gail sat in the bed and looked at Holly.
''Baby, listen…. Before you left…we were at the bad place. We were not talking; we were not working on our issues. We stopped being friends, we stopped being lovers and we just run from our problems into work and more work...''
Holly nodded and looked at her wife.
''We are back on track and we are working on us. I love you and I think we can make it now because we know how had and bad we had it when we were apart.''
Holly kissed her and small peck turned into something much more. They made love again. Holly made promise to herself that she will pay more attention to Gail in the future and that she will do all she can to make it work. They took a shower together and got ready for work. They made out in the shower and that made Gail laugh like crazy.
''What is it Gail?''
''I feel like teenager again….''
''You were teen mom?''
She slaped Holly's arm…
''No, you dork… I just feel so in love and addicted to our little…moments…''
''Oh, we are talking about sex?''
''Yes….''
''Than why don't you say it…?''
''Fine, I love having sex with you all the time… Happy now?''
''Might be soon…''
She pushed Gail against the wall and it led to more sex. It was time to burst the bubble and face the world. They wanted just a little more time for themselves, but life had other planes. They had to go and be responsible grownups.