Chapter Four
Over the next week I fought off Asvald's advances and received two more switching, along with earning his trust and his mother's. When they would allow me to take strolls by myself, I allows returned within an hour, showing them that I wasn't trying to run away. All the while I was saving up food, put away an extra dress and underdress, and waited.
When I was sure that they trusted strongly in me, I brought my bag of food and clothes with me and went to the river.
After crossing, I walked through the woods at a steady pace, not wanting to tire too soon. My heart was racing the entire time, but I tried not to be overwhelmed by my fear. When I knew that'd start to come looking for me, I began a slow run, getting myself deeper and deeper into the forest.
Darkness fell and I settled down under a large tree, laying out my fur cloak between two thick roots before lying down. I didn't sleep at all, for I was cold, scared, and alone. Strange noises echoed through the woods, and wolves howled in the distance, making the hairs on my arms and the back of my neck stand on end. I only got two hours of sleep that night.
As the sun rose, I ate an apple and tried to make myself alert. Stumbling to my feet, I walked on, praying that I would find my way to refuge. Though I didn't want to die in the forest alone, it would be better than a lifetime of servitude to Asvald. The sunlight filtered through the trees, and I was grateful for my serene surrounding.
Since I did not know where I was going, I assumed that there must be other villages along the coat, so instead of walking east, I went north and walked that way for about five days. Then I went west and started back toward the ocean.
As I was doing all this walking, I had plenty of time to ponder everything. I knew I was only going to find Norsemen at Norway, so I decided I would tell them that I am the wife of a chieftain's son. Maybe my status would keep me safe.
By the time I reached the ocean again, I was running low on food and energy. Sleeping was not comfortable or peaceful, and I was not well rested. I strode along the beach, hoping that at some point I would find a village. When it started to rain, I couldn't stop; I just covered my head with my fur cloak to stay dry.
I wondered if Asvald was angry. No, he wouldn't be angry, he'd be furious, in a rage. If he ever caught me, he'd probably just kill me. I was most proud of myself that he hadn't caught me this time. Or at least not yet.
After walking for five days with barely any food or sleep, I was stumbling around like a drunken person. My whole body hurt and I was so tired. Finally, just as the sky was losing its last light, I collapsed on the ground and slipped into darkness.
I was woken by someone nudging me in the ribs with their foot. My eyes flew open and I sprung to my feet and sped off as fast as I could, not even looking to see who was behind me. I heard him come after me, and I gasped for air and I pumped my legs faster, faster. When I did glance over my shoulder, I saw that it wasn't Asvald, but some stranger I didn't recognize. Unfortunately, taking my eyes off of where I was going wasn't very wise, because I tripped and twisted my ankle. I cried out in pain as I hit the ground, angry because now I wouldn't be able to walk on it. Whoever was following me grabbed me and slung me onto his shoulder.
"Unhand me! I am wife to Asvald, son of chieftain Bork!" I shouted, struggling against him. He came to a stop and set me on my feet again, with both hands on my arms to keep me from running.
"Why are you here?" He asked, his green eyes fierce and cold, his brown hair swirling around his face.
"I need passage to Ireland," I said, trying to sound commanding and brave. My legs and hands were shaking and I was struggling to hide it.
The green eyed man studied me for a moment before saying, "You're his captive bride. And now you're running away."
My face went pale and I tried to shake myself from his grip, but he held me firm. "Release me!"
The man laughed and lifted me onto his shoulder again and began walking back the way I'd come. "I'm taking you back to your husband, wench. I suggest you stay with him from now on," he cackled and spoke something in Norse. I closed my eyes and tried to hide my disappointment. But I wouldn't give up. Maybe it hadn't worked this time, but I wasn't going to stop trying. If Asvald didn't kill me, that is.
We went back in the forest, and walked all through the night and the next day, and though I was not pleased about being taken back to Asvald, I welcomed the break from walking. I actually slept while I was slung over his shoulder.
After four days of this, we came to the river by my village and he carried me across. I struggled with him some, still trying to get away, but he managed the get us both across the river safely.
He went straight for the biggest longhouse, Asvald's and his family's longhouse. I screamed and kicked, desperate not to go back in there. He ducked into the doorway and set me back down on my feet. Groa jumped up and ran to me, wrapping me in her arms.
"Eachna! Where have you been?" She cried, placing kisses on both of my cheeks. I smiled and embraced her again.
"I'm sorry if I've disappointed you," I whispered, rubbing her back. She pulled away and stroked my cheek, saying something softly in Norse. Then she turned and spoke to the man in Norse, before handing him a pouch filled with coins. I let out a sigh of relief when he slipped back out of the longhouse.
Groa had me sit by the fire and fixed me a plate of ham, bread, and cheese. We didn't speak, for I had nothing to say and after the joy of seeing me was wearing off, I knew she was upset with me.
"Groa, I didn't mean to disrespect you and your family," I said, hoping she would understand why I ran away.
"I know," she said softly, gathering her basket of furs and sewing supplies, taking out what looked like a half-finished shirt.
"Where is Asvald?" I asked before taking a bite of bread.
Her hands stilled and she looked up at me, her lips pressed into a firm line. "He's out searching for you."
I looked down, feeling ashamed and embarrassed. Groa didn't deserve my disloyalty even if Asvald did. "When will he come back?"
She resumed her sewing. "In a few days, since of course he won't find you."
"Do you think he'll be angry? Will he hurt me?" I asked, starting to get worried. Maybe I'd just made things worse for myself.
"I won't blame him if he does hurt you. You were wrong to run away," she scolded.
I frowned and looked away, not wanting to be reprimanded for trying to return to my family. "I want to lie down," I said and slipped into Asvald's bedroom. For the first time in over ten days, I slept deeply.
I awoke to someone pushing me off the bed. After hitting the hard ground, I got to my feet and faced a livid Asvald.
"What in Odin's earth were you thinking, woman?" He yelled and grabbed my upper arms, giving me a shake. "If you ever find your way back to Ireland, I will personally hunt you down and kill your family right in front of you!"
Tears filled my eyes as Asvald crushed my last hopes. I could never return home now. "I'm not sorry, Asvald. I'd do it again if I got the chance."
He laughed like he found this amusing and took a short coil of rope from his belt. He tied one end around himself, and tied the other around my waist. "Until you learn that it is futile to run from me, you will remain within my sight." He turned and headed toward the door, pulling me along with him. My body still hurt from my long journey and I did nothing to resist him, following along beside him as he spoke with other villagers. After a while, I lost interest and started pacing back and forth and jerking on the rope that connected us.
"Still yourself, wife," he murmured to me at one point, looking embarrassed in front of his friend. I had noticed that he never called me maiden in front of other people, for he wanted them to assume that we were physically intimate. Basically, I shouldn't be a maiden still.
After socializing for a few hours, Asvald wanted to go riding, so I sat behind him as we galloped over the green hills, the horse's hoof beats quiet against the soft, lush grass. I wrapped my arms around Asvald's waist and pressed my cheek against his back. The wind blew my hair out behind me and I embraced the feeling of freedom, not matter how fleeting it was.
Asvald halted the horse and swung off, then lifted me down, drawing me into his arms. I held my breath and looked up into his blue eyes, waiting to see what he would do.
"I'm still angry with you about running away," he said softly and brushed some hair out of my face. "And I could punish you severely for your disobedience."
I narrowed my eyes and stepped back away from him, until the rope wouldn't reach any further. "Then punish me. It'll only fuel my hate for you."
He shook his head, his blond hair flowing in the breeze. His eyes searched my face, and he smiled.
Turning around, I started to strain against the rope, but Asvald planted his feet, refusing to let me move. I groaned and stopped my efforts, turning back around to face him.
"Do you find in joy in my sorrow? Does it please you that my heart is breaking within my chest?" I asked, tears of frustration filling my eyes.
His face softened and he came toward me slowly. "No, I'm not pleased by your sickness of heart. And sometimes I hate myself for what I've done to you."
Avoiding his gaze, I whispered, "Please let me go home. You will find a better woman then me, a Norsewoman."
He chuckled softly and kissed my cheek, his lips warm against my chilled skin. "There is no better woman."
I shivered despite myself and smiled at his complimenting words. "I want to go home."
"I know you do," he whispered and kissed my forehead. "You are lonely, for you won't let anyone close to your heart."
I shook my head, denying it. "I am close with your mother and your brother Ulf."
Asvald grinned, the smile lighting up his whole face. "I've seen you with Ulf. You're going to be a wonderful mother."
Blush crept up my neck and I murmured, "You have to steal my virtue first."
His hand moved up my ribcage to cup my small breast. "Which I plan on doing soon."
That night he removed the rope so we could change into our nightclothes and I welcomed the space between us. He watched me remove my dress, his eyes lingering on my hips and below. Before I could pull my nightgown on, he placed his hands on my bare hips, caressing the skin there.
"Your hips are perfect," he murmured before kissing my neck. "You'll give me sons."
My heart skipped a beat, feeling bashful because I was naked. His mouth trailed down my neck and over my collarbone, making my breathing hitch. "Asvald…"
He hummed against my skin, his rough hands trailing up my back. "I'm going to take you tonight."
I jerked out of his arms, ready to fight him off once again. This was becoming a nightly ritual. "No, you're not."
He didn't get angry and he didn't try to reach for me. "I know you hate me, but why deny yourself pleasure?"
My face heated and I looked away. "A relationship cannot be built on passion alone. I hate you and I know you don't love me. We don't have a relationship, we aren't even friends."
Asvald shrugged. "It matters not to me."
"Well, it does to me," I said and pulled on my nightdress. "I believe that you don't want to ravish me, otherwise you would have done it already."
He smiled in a way that was almost mocking me. "You are right that it's been my choice not to force you. And believe me; I have no qualms about forcing a woman to do her service to me."
I crossed my arms over my chest and tilted my head. "Then why have you not done it?"
He said nothing, only came forward and brought me toward him, fitting my body with his. His mouth lowered to my neck and he nibbled on my earlobe.
"I will run," I threatened, trying to back out of his arms. They tightened around me, keeping me in place.
"Run, then. I will chase you down," he growled, his lips trailing down to the neckline of my nightgown. I felt my body start to respond to him and cursed myself for it. Struggling against his hold, I pressed against his chest with one hand and tangled the other in his hair, yanking his head away from me.
"I will fight you," I groaned and slipped out from under his arms. "And if you force me, I will never forgive you."
"You hate me already for stealing you from your home and beating you. What's one more thing?" He reached out for me but I skirted around him, trying to get to the door. I made a grab for the latch but Asvald's strong arms slipped around me, dragging me away.
"Let me go!" I screamed, twisting and turning, fighting against his hold.
"Shut your mouth, maiden!" He yelled and pushed me down to my knees. "Calm yourself!"
"Remove your hands from me! Get off!" I cried.
"Flannfluga," he growled in Norse. There was a knock on the door and Asvald released me with a frustrated hiss and opened the door. There stood his father Bork, looking annoyed. He spoke to Asvald in Norse and Asvald covered his eyes with his hands, groaning something in Norse. Bork said something and came to my side, helping me to my feet. He led me out of the room and as I passed Asvald, I stuck my tongue out at him. He frowned and shook his head.
Bork settled me onto a bed by the fire and Groa knelt next to me, her hand on my shoulder.
"This needs to stop, Eachna. My husband and I cannot sleep because of your screams and you're waking the children. Either you learn to live in peace with Asvald or he will build you a longhouse and I won't be here to rescue you every night," Groa said gently yet sternly.
I covered my face with my hands and fell back onto the furs with a groan. "What does Flannfluga mean?"
"It means 'she who flees the male sex organ," Groa murmured, stroking my hair.
I rolled away from her, completely humiliated. "Let me sleep. I will speak to Asvald in the morning."
She got up and left me alone, and it took me a long time to fall asleep as I considered my choices.