Chapter Seven
Sleep refused to come to me that night, despite my strong desire to disappear in darkness. The bench felt too hard beneath me and the blankets too rough, the furs too heavy.
I knew my condition would only worsen by morning, so I cried as quietly as possible, my thoughts lingering on my family. Loneliness was my constant companion and I wanted nothing more than to see my loved ones again.
Thin morning light poured in through the doorway as the sun rose, signaling my doom.
Asvald's door opened, and I wondered if he hadn't slept either. His family rose as well, but Asvald ignored them as he gathered a few things. He stood before me and placed the items on the bench beside me. A knife, a thin, plain dress, and a leather collar. My heart sank.
He didn't speak as he sat behind me and pushed on my head, asking me to lower my chin. I obeyed and he took the knife, and lifted my braid from my back. Tears stung my eyes because I knew what he was about to do. He sawed my hair at the base of my braid, cropping my hair close around my face. He tossed my severed braid into the fire and a sob escaped me. He brushed off the loose hairs from my shoulders, then took the collar, fastening it around my neck. It would be my yoke of bondage.
He placed the plain brown dress on my lap. "Put this on."
Standing, I turned my back on his family and dropped my old dress, and pulled the new one over my head. Asvald regarded me with an emotion I couldn't place.
My chin trembled as I made an effort to control my spinning emotions. I gritted my teeth.
"Come with me." He headed out the door and I trailed a respectful distance behind him. After all, I was no longer his wife. I was only a thrall.
We gathered in the same place we had yesterday, in the middle of the village. Again, Asvald called for attention and a crowd gathered.
"This woman is for sale as a thrall. She will work hard. I cannot assure you that she will do as she's told, but I believe a good whipping would cure her of that." The crowd laughed and he smirked at me. I lowered my head and squeezed my eyes shut as my shoulders shook. I feared I would fall over without something to lean on. But I refused to crumble to my knees. They would never break me. I lifted my head and blinked away my tears.
Asvald continued, asking for a certain price, but I stopped listening, finding myself lost in reverie. In my mind, I could see myself as I young child, running through the Irish meadows, chasing butterflies amid the wildflowers, laughing and playing. Somehow I always found myself in trouble as a child. Rules did not appeal to me, and that hadn't changed. The ocean became a second home to me at a young age. I spent my days dreaming of the adventures I'd have and the happiness that would be mine. I'd dreamed of a home with a loving husband and children. How could such a care-free, happy young girl turn into a thrall in a foreign land with a leather collar around her neck?
My attention was captured again when a middle aged man with a thick beard stepped forward. "I will take her."
Asvald smiled. "Ah, Jabez! The deal is done." He shook the man's hand, then received a large bag of coins from him. He gestured to me. "She is all yours. Try not to treat her cruelly, old man."
The man, Jabez, nodded and laughed. "I would not dream of harming such a pretty little thing. Of course, if she disobeys, there will be punishment."
My eyes snapped from Jabez back to Asvald, praying he would say not to harm me. Asvald returned my stare, though he spoke to Jabez. "She is aware of that. I hope she is wise enough to avoid such discipline. But if that situation should arise, I'm sure it will be her own fault and she will have to bear whatever punishment you see fit."
He came to me and leaned close to whisper in my ear. "You are no longer my concern. You are nothing but a worthless slave to me."
I searched his eyes, pleading with him to protect me, even though I chose to leave his care.
"How dare you look in my eyes, thrall!" Asvald suddenly bellowed and I jumped, startled. I quickly lowered my eyes, my heart racing. "Remember your place, girl." With that, he turned and walked away.
Jabez called to me. "Come, girl. You have work to attend to."
"Sir, I must insist-" I started to speak but was interrupted by a sudden, stinging slap across my mouth. I cried out and lowered my head.
"Do not speak unless you are asked a question!" He scolded and I nodded, still keeping my head down. Humility was not a character at which I excelled. But I would learn. I would melt into a nothing, a mindless person with numbed emotions. Hopefully I would die young from the hard labor and my miserable life would be over.
Jabez led me into his longhouse, a dark, small, one-roomed building that stank of stale ale and roasted meat. A frail woman laid in a bed against the wall. She seemed quite ill.
"As you can see, my wife is dying. You will take over her duties, as well as help me with mine. You will milk the cows, churn the butter, cook the meals, weave and sew the clothes, and wash the clothes. You will also help me slaughter the animals when the time comes," he said firmly, commanding me.
I nodded, allowing my mind to go blank. I did not want to think of all the work in my future. What I wanted was blessed relief from this life.
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The next morning I leaned over the fire, stirring a pot of porridge. My hands knew the motions, my mind wresting its way out of that awful longhouse.
Jabez sat by the fire and ate his food, bits of the porridge sticking in his beard. He did not offer me any of the food, and I knew it would be too bold to serve myself a bowl without his permission. My stomach grumbled but I ignored it, kneeling on the ground to grind more corn between two rocks, one long and flat, the other a little larger than my fist.
"Stupid thrall," Jabez growled and jumped to his feet. He towered over me and I resisted the urge to cower. "Put your back into it! You will take all day at that pace."
Gritting my teeth, I ground the corn faster and harder, a burning pain spreading through my shoulders and down my back.
The time dragged as I worked and I sang softly to myself to help it pass, hoping the sweet notes of my own voice would soothe me.
Is this really any better than being Asvald's wife? A voice inside me asked. I reasoned with myself. I never said it would be better. It was simply the right choice.
Jabez's wife moaned and I glanced over my shoulder at her. She rested below a pile of blankets, so I could only see her face. Her skin appeared as pale as moonlight, her eyes silver and watery. She watched me, her lips moving like she wished to speak, but no words followed.
I rose and dusted the flour from my hands. The poor woman stirred compassion in my heart. Though I hated my current situation, dying was worse.
I brought her a cup of water and lifted it to her lips. She sighed and closed her eyes as she took a small sip.
Smiling, I gently squeezed her hand and returned to my task.
After several hours of work, the job was done. Jabez returned and commanded me to tend to the garden. More kneeling. Excellent. He walked away and I groaned as I headed outside to the garden growing alongside of the house. It was cluttered with weeds.
"You chose this," I whispered to myself and got to work, tugging up the weeds at the roots. Pain shot up my back as the already tired muscles strained.
Sweat trickled down my face despite the cool breeze. Dirt itched between my fingers and under my nails.
Thankfully a few hours later the sun began to sink into its bed behind the ocean, and I stopped pulling weeds.
Jabez came strolling down the path toward the longhouse, and I rushed inside. Quickly I washed the dirt from my hands and started chopping vegetables for the stew.
His form appeared in the doorway, but I knew better than to look up at him. I held my breath as he came to my side and dropped a rabbit carcass. "Skin it," he demanded.
My stomach turned and I tried to hide my disgust. I had never in my life skinned an animal. "Master..." I murmured, hoping he would allow me to speak if I addressed him with respect. "I cannot skin this rabbit."
"You are useless. You are a waste of my silver!" he shouted and I braced for a blow, but it didn't come. Instead he snatched the rabbit and stormed out the door.
I breathed a sigh and steadied my hands before continuing to chop the vegetables. Is this what the rest of my life would consist of? Grinding corn, pulling weeds, and chopping cabbage? I sighed, and allowed myself to go numb.
He returned a few minutes later with a skinned rabbit and dropped it in my lap. I gasped as blood seeped into my only dress. But I simply lifted my knife and cut up the meat.
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Several days dragged by, with the same exhausting chores that began before the sun rose and after it set. I couldn't live like this any longer. Yes, if I chose to stay with Asvald, I would have had to let my family go. But I realized as I laid in bed one night that my family would mourn to see me living the life of a thrall. They would be happier if I tried to make the best of my life with Asvald.
So I made up my mind. I would go back to Asvald and plead with him to take me as his wife again.
I opened my eyes and glanced at where Jabez slept. He seemed to be sleeping peacefully. Slowly I got to my feet and slipped out of the longhouse, too nervous to breathe.
The night air filled my lungs and for the first time in days, I felt truly alive. My heart raced as I glanced around. I couldn't be caught. It might cost me my life.
Without lingering, I headed swiftly toward Asvald's home.
"Slave girl!" A voice called harshly and I stopped dead in my tracts, cringing. Slowly I turned around my head down.
A man's feet approached me and a strong hand clamped down on my arm. He dragged me back toward Jabez's longhouse and I did little to resist him. I would be whipped, perhaps even killed.
"Wake up, Jabez!" The man bellowed as he thrust me into the house. I covered my face with my hands, trying not to sob.
"What is Thor's name is going on?" He jumped up from his bed, and I peeked at him through my fingers.
The man who found me smirked and pushed me toward my master. "I found her out wandering about. If I were you, I'd beat the skin right off her back." He nodded and slipped back into the night.
Jabez circled me like a hawk. I could feel the anger in the air between us. I kept my eyes on my feet.
"Get on your knees," he growled.
I shook my head and my shoulders began to shake. "Please, no."
"You dare speak to me!" He roared and shoved me until I fell forward onto my knees. I bit my lip and tried to prepare myself as I heard him grab his belt.
"Take off your dress," he commanded in a low voice.
I obeyed, then curled into myself, hiding most of my body, but baring my back.
The belt came down. My eyes opened wide and I gasped.
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Jabez refused to let me rest and heal, so the next morning I went about with an oozing back, and every move sent pain searing through me.
"Go to the docks for some fish," Jabez told me and placed a basket in my arms. Nodding, I headed out the door as quickly as possible.
As I walked through the village toward the docks, I felt the scabs on my back cracking and blood dripping from the deep wounds. Last night Jabez had beat me with his belt till I was barely consciousness. I was amazed I was even able to stand, much less walk.
I lifted my eyes as I approached the docks, and my steps faltered when I saw Asvald standing on the rocks, speaking with his father. I glanced over my shoulder. Perhaps I should just turn and head back to the house. But if I returned to the longhouse without the fish, another beating was sure to ensue.
Taking a deep breath, I grasped the basket closer and continued onto the docks. Asvald's eyes met mine and it took me a moment before I lowered them.
While buying the fish, I felt his eyes on me. I longed for him, to be held in his embrace while falling asleep. Perhaps I had been too stubborn for my own good.
The coin purse slipped from my hands and out of reflex I bent at the waist to catch it. A scream tore out of my mouth as I felt my wounds rip open again.
Asvald was at my side in an instant. "Eachna, what is it?"
It the first time I'd heard my name in days. The pain blurred my vision and I swayed on my feet. "My back," I sighed and slowly tried to straighten up.
He glanced at my back, at the blood soaking through the thin fabric of my dress. "Jabez did this to you. Why?" He took my arm, letting me lean on him.
I lowered my head. "I simply disobeyed him. Why are you even speaking to me?"
"You are hurt," he murmured, his voice soft like a caress.
I lifted my eyes to his and glared at him through my tears. "I am a thrall."
His eyes filled with sadness and he pulled away from me. "Go about your work, then. After all, you chose those wounds for yourself." He walked away without looking back.
A sob built in my chest but I could never release it. I was property, and property did not have feelings.
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Throughout the next endless days, I worked steadily on and the wounds on my back healed, turning from ugly caterpillars of pain into butterflies of remembered wounds.
My master stopped calling me "girl" and instead referred to me as "it." I never spoke aloud except to answer with a "yes master." I felt my identity slip away and left in its place a hardworking, lacking of thoughts. My only motivation was avoiding the bite of the belt.
I found comfort in caring for his mute and dying wife, who alone offered me comfort with a squeeze of her hand or a kind glance.
But the sad day came when her body went cold and her soul embraced death. Selfishly I wished she had lived longer, but inside I felt relief at the end of her suffering.
It was my job to prepare her body for burial and never will I forget the chilling feeling of touching the shell of someone's life.
Thankfully I slept soundly that night, at least until I was awake with a rough shake. A scream escaped my lips when I realized what I was face to face with, so to speak.
Jabez knelt over me, his manhood free from his pants and far too close to my face. It grew larger with each passing second as Jabez stroked himself. "Open your mouth, thrall."
I hesitated a moment. It came down to taking him in my mouth, or taking the belt again. The belt would be heaven compared to having his filthy cock down my throat. I covered my mouth with my hand, knowing he would try to force it in if I tried to talk. So I spoke through my hand. "Put that thing in here and I will bite it right off," my voice was a rough, low growl, dusty from lack of use.
It was too dark to see Jabez's face but I could hear the sneer in his voice. "You would never dare."
I removed my hand from my mouth and spoke loud and clear, despite the pounding of my heart. I almost wanted to thank him for making me feel alive for the first time in many days. Finally I would feel my heart inside me.
"Do it, see what happens," I threatened.
Jabez growled and tucked away his member, and sprang off of me. I didn't allow myself to feel the relief though. He was only going to fetch his belt.
"Strip and roll over," he commanded and I quickly obeyed, biting down on my pillow as my master knelt beside me. A crack sounded in the air and pain burst down my back and spread throughout my whole body. A moan left me and I trembled. Crack. White hot pain seared my skin and blood trickled down, staining the blankets on my pallet.
Crack. A scream. Skin split. Blood. Crack. Light splashed across my closed eyelids. Crack. My head started to spin. Crack. "You will not break me," I hissed through clenched teeth.
"Oh, yes I will," he growled.
Crack. Kill me, let me die. It would be a mercy. Crack. Blackness.
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I didn't know how much time had passed since I passed out, but I was thankful my master ignored me and allowed me to stay of my pallet. Throbbing pain ate away at my back.
What a mistake I made, choosing this life over being Asvald's wife. I made up my mind. That night I would find my way back to Asvald's bed.
….
I waited for my master to fall asleep, and when he did, I slipped out into the darkness.
My heart pounded fiercely and my back ached and burned, but I ignored it. To my relief, I soon found myself at the doorway of Asvald's home. I entered before I could be seen. The house smelled more like home to me than I ever thought possible, and I felt tears sting my eyes. There had been little comfort in the last few days, and I longed for it now. I smiled upon the sleeping faces of Groa and Bork, and of Asvald's siblings. But they were not the ones I wanted to see.
Quietly, I opened the door to Asvald's room and shut it behind me. His sleeping form huddled under the blankets, and I could hear his soft breathing. Good God, how could I have missed him so?
I crawled onto the bed beside him, wincing. With a shaking hand, I touched his hair. I lowered my head and brushed his parted lips with my own. "Wake, Asvald."
He groaned and stirred. Slowly his eyes opened and he jumped a little. "Eachna? What are you doing here?"
Instead of answering, I took his head in my hands and kissed him, this time with passion. His hand went to the back of my neck and he returned my kiss.
When our lips parted, I answered, "I cannot stay with that man. You must buy me back."
He looked confused for a moment and passed a hand over his eyes, sitting up. "You chose being a thrall over being my wife."
I nodded and decided on the bold move of straddling his lap, my hands on his shoulders as I gazed intensely into his eyes. "I cannot live like that any longer. Please help me."
He narrowed his eyes. "I am sorry that your master beats you, but that is the life you decided on. The only reason you want to come back to me is because you now know how awful the life of a slave is."
I groaned in frustration and squeezed his shoulders. "No, I made the wrong choice. Please, Asvald." I moved off of him and peeled off my dress, wincing as I had to tear it off my back because the dried blood made it stick. I turned my back to him and pointed to it. "Look at this. How can you be so cruel as to make me return to the man who did this?"
Asvald sighed and touched his fingertip to a bruise on my back. It was gentle enough that it didn't hurt. "Oh, Eachna. But how could I be so cruel as to allow you to return to the man who stole you from your family?"
His words sunk in and I realized how wrong I was to come here. He would not save me, not after everything I had said to him. "Forget this happened," I whispered and grabbed my dress. "I was wrong to think you would still want me."
Asvald grabbed my arm and stopped me from dressing again. "I never said that. But listen to me, Eachna." He paused and grasped my chin, forcing me to look into his eyes. "If I buy your freedom and you become my wife again, you have to do it for the right reasons. Because you want to make a new life with me, not because you want to escape thralldom."
I nodded. "Let's start a new life together," I sighed, wrapping my arms around his neck. "I mean it."
He grinned and spoke the word I longed to hear. "Yes."