Chapter Eight
Asvald spoke to the witnesses and they declared that our divorce was void on grounds of improper reasoning. I didn't quite understand what that meant, but I did know it meant that I was once again Asvald's wife. He also went and bought me from Jabez at the price of ten sheep and a barrel of ale.
He told me the news after I woke up in his bed. He'd gone to the witnesses in the early morning hours while I still slept.
After a kiss of celebration, Asvald's hands went to the collar that was still around my neck. "This must go." He unbuckled it and tossed it away, then carefully lifted the filthy thrall dress over my head, bearing my just as filthy body to him.
"I do believe you need a bath," he teased me, pinching his nose.
I slapped his wrist, though I couldn't help but laugh, too. "Your bed is so comfortable and I do not wish to move."
"Let me see your back," he spoke gently now, his eyes holding sorrow.
Nodding, I rolled onto my stomach. "How bad is it? As bad as it feels?" When he didn't answer, I looked over my shoulder at him. "Asvald?"
His face did not mask his horror. With a trembling hand, he trailed a finger over the scabbed wounds and the deep purple bruises. "This will leave scars, Eachna."
"I know," I whispered and rested my chin on my hands. Little did Asvald know, but scars were not new to me.
"Hold on, I will bring warm water and a rag to wash you off." He disappeared for a few minutes, before reappearing with the items.
First he gently wiped at the blood on my back. It felt good to have the stickiness wiped away. I shivered at the sensation.
"I hate seeing you this way," he murmured, rinsing out the rag. The water in the bowl turned pink.
I shrugged my shoulders and regretted it as pain split across my back. "I'll be fine," I hissed through my teeth.
He was silent as he wiped away the rest of the blood, and the dirt and sweat off my body. After that he gave me one of my dresses back and I carefully dressed, with cautious movements.
"Now you look like my wife again," he murmured and kissed my cheek. "Except for your short hair.
I winced. "Please don't ever speak of my hair again until it has grown back out."
He laughed softly and cupped my face in his hands. "Your wish is my command, kone."
{}
I rested and let my back heal, helping Groa with the easier chores while my back healed. The pain was at its worst at night, and I often woke with cries of distress. Asvald would pull me into his arms and soothe me back into sleep.
The scabs turned into scars, and soon the wounds were only pink stripes on my back that reminded me to always be grateful for what I had with Asvald. My anger started slipping away, like my spirit was healing along with my back.
Since my back was healed and my body restored, I decided one morning that I would begin my life with Asvald, as soon as possible. Whether I'd regret it or not, it hardly mattered.
I walked through the village till I found Asvald riding his horse toward the beach. He smiled and halted his horse when he saw me. "Kone! What do you need?"
My heart raced and I licked my lips. My mouth had gone dry. Before I could let this man take me, I had other scars to show him, ones that could never be seen by the eyes.
"I wish to speak to you." My voice shook and I folded my hands to stop them from trembling.
He quickly dismounted and came to stand in front of me. His long hair moved with the breeze. I couldn't deny it any longer; he was handsome. Not only handsome, but he was mine.
"Go ahead." He smiled and lightly touched my arm. The simplest touch put me on edge.
I motioned back to the house. "Privately, if you do not mind."
"Of course." He nodded and together we walked toward the longhouse. "Are you well?"
"Quite," I answered. "I feel there is something I need to tell you."
We entered the longhouse and went into Asvald's room, shutting the door behind us.
Asvald sat on the bed and looked at me expectantly, waiting for me to speak. His eyes held curiosity, but my stomach twisted and suddenly I didn't wish to tell him anymore.
I paced the room, back and forth, tugging at my braid. How was to word the first sentence? My lips felt stuck together, my throat tight.
Asvald spoke first. "Are you trying to tell me that you aren't a virgin? That Jabez raped you while you were his slave?" He paused and curled his hands into fists. "Because if that is the case, I swear I will kill him."
I shook my head and placed my hand on his shoulder. "No, no. He did not." I thought for a moment about Jabez trying to force his manhood in my mouth. But that wasn't important. Nothing happened.
Asvald reached up and took my face in his hands, his eyes intense as they focused on mine. "Tell me what is troubling you. If you are going to pace the room all day, I'm going back to work."
"My back is healed and I want to be your wife in every way. I suppose this is my life now and I should at least try to be happy. But before we can do that, I need to tell you something." I paused and closed my eyes, taking a deep breath. It was still painful for me to remember, much less talk about.
"Speak, kone," Asvald said roughly and pulled me down so I was sitting beside him on the bed. "Just begin, the rest will follow."
"My father and I, we have never gotten along," I murmured, feeling my heart pick up speed already.
"You never speak of him." He glanced at me, sadness in his eyes like he knew what I was going to say.
I lowered my head and toed a ball of dust on the floor. "There is a reason for that. When my sister and I were young, my father liked to see us naked." I bit down on my lower lip.
Asvald went still beside me, his hands clenched on his knees. "Go on." He growled.
"My mother would go to the market once a week and sell vegetables. She would be gone all day along. On those days, my father would make us strip for him, and tidy the house and do the washing without our clothes."
Asvald stood to his feet, his back to me. "That sick bastard! Jeg vil drepe drittsekken! Hvordan kunne en mann behandle datteren slik? Kona fattige, kjære søte." He switched from Irish into Norse and began to rant so I couldn't understand him.
"Asvald, calm down," I hissed. "You are not making this any easier."
He took a deep breath and faced me. "I am sorry. Continue your story, please."
I nodded. "He often called us names, like whore, or harlot. My sister, mostly."
Asvald pressed his fist to his forehead and clenched his teeth. But this time he didn't speak.
"I trusted him, so I did not think anything was wrong," I whispered, but at least there were no tears in my eyes. I had wasted enough tears on my father.
"How long did he do that? And did he ever touch you?" His lips were the only part of him that moved. He stayed frozen in place.
"He did it until I was about ten years of age. When my body started changing, and I was starting to become a woman, I started to feel shy and I told him I wouldn't take off my clothes. He pressed me to do it, but I resisted. He never made me do it again after that."
"Did he touch you?" Asvald asked again, only slower and more firmly. Finally he met my gaze again.
I tugged on my braid and bit down on my lip. "Sometimes he would bathe me, even when I was old enough to bathe myself. Then he would help dry me off and his hand would go between my legs."
Asvald growled and spun around, swinging his fist into the wall and cracking the wood. I jumped and cowered for a moment before straightening again.
"I will return to Ireland and I will make him suffer for this," he growled, leaning against the wall. His eyes were dark, fierce enough to scare me. "He is a sick bastard!"
My chest heaved as I fought to keep my breathing even. I would not cry, not now, not ever again. Not for my father. "You will not kill him," I said firmly and stood shakily and approached him carefully. "I forgave him, but I wanted you to know why I do not trust men."
Asvald sighed and reached out to me, his anger fleeting. I was glad that for once it was not directed at me.
"My poor kone," he murmured and kissed the top of my head as he brought me to my chest. "I am so sorry. The men in your life have not treated you the way you deserve. Including me. Our love has not been what it should be."
I heard his heart thumping under my ear. The sound comforted me. Lifting my chin, I peered up at him with pleading eyes. "Show me what real love is, how a man should love a woman."
Asvald lowered his chin so our faces were intimately close. He tucked a strand of my hair behind my ear. "I intend to." Our breath mingled in the short distance between our mouths and my gaze lowered to his lips.
He drew me up to him so our lips connected, and I felt pleasure down to my toes at the contact. He kissed me tenderly and released me after not too long. He smiled and trailed his thumb along my jaw. "Tonight I wish to make love to you."
My stomach clenched and I lowered my head, though I felt a yearning for him deep in my belly. "I want that too, but may we talk about something first?"
He looked slightly irritated and I knew he was tired of all the talking. But my concerns needed to be soothed.
"I want to make a new life with you." I placed my hands on his chest and smiled softly at him. "But there is a part of me that still dreams of going home one day and seeing my family again."
He groaned and swatted my hands away. I didn't let him. "Wait," I continued. "I think that part of me will always be there, no matter how much I may come to love you."
"Eachna," he hissed, "I want to understand you, but sometimes you make it very jævla difficult."
I ignored his Norse word and tried to explain myself more. "When you...release your seed inside me, there is always a chance I will become with child. If I have your child, I will be bond to you for the rest of my life and I am sorry, but that is still hard for me to accept." My face burned and I hoped he would not push me away.
Instead he shook his head. "You are my kone. I will do my best to understand you and your feelings even if it makes no sense to me. After all, you are a woman and men do not often understand how a woman thinks." He paused. "There is nothing I can do or say, except that you will have to come to terms with yourself when you have my child."
I nodded. "But I was thinking that tonight, when you bed me, you could...pull out and spill on my stomach instead, so we do not have to think about a child for a while yet." The words felt heavy in my mouth and I tried to fight my embarrassment. After all, we would be saying much more intimate things to each other in a matter of a few hours.
Asvald chuckled and shook his head. "No. Not a chance, sly one. I will always finish inside you."
My face flushed and I lightly smacked his chest. "We shall see about that." I raised an eyebrow and marched out of the room, relief flooding me when I stepped outside and the warm sun landed on my face and the cool breeze refreshed me. I felt like a burden had lifted from my shoulders. My secret was no longer a secret, and I could truly move on.
Halla had married not long ago, and seemed to float on a cloud of happiness, so I headed to her new home to spend the day with her before I had to spend the night with Asvald.
She smiled excitedly when she saw me and threw her arms around me. We still couldn't communicate well, because she didn't speak Irish and I still didn't know enough Norse to carry on a conversation.
She gestured for me to sit by the fire so I did, holding my hands out to the flames. Her eyebrows raised and she smiled at me.
I wanted to tell her what was going on with me, so I went to the bed and smoothed my hand over it and grinned at her. She seemed confused.
"Hmm," I murmured and thought for a moment, then made my hand into a fist and stuffed my finger in and out of the hole in my fist, mimicking sex.
She threw her head back and laughed, slapping her hand on her thigh. She said something in Norse and shook her head.
I came to sit beside her again and glanced at her with worried eyes, hoping she would understand my nervousness.
Her eyes sparkled and she raised her fist to her mouth and kissed her thumb and the side of her hand. She kissed it again and again, making me giggle. She removed her hand and sighed as if in pleasure, then made a rolling motion with her hand, as if saying to continue.
Perhaps she was telling me that once the kissing starts, the rest would follow? At least, that's what I hoped she was trying to say.
I stayed with her until dinner time neared. But before I left, she ladled some kind of tea into a cup and handed it to me. She pointed to the bed and made a motion with her hand like she was drinking something.
"Drink before bed," I murmured to myself, glancing down at the yellowish liquid in the cup.
Halla shrugged and kissed my cheek. "Takk," I thanked her in Norse, one of the few things I knew how to say.
"Ingen årsak," she answered as I slipped out the door.
As I crossed over to Asvald's home, my stomach whirled with the excitement of what I knew was coming. I was grateful that no fear tortured my mind, and I was able to numb the guilt that pricked at me.
Asvald grinned when I entered the room, and he gestured for me to come to him. I playfully stuck my tongue out at him and headed through the busy and crowded living space. Thord and Ulf shrieked as they played, running around and getting under Groa's feet, who then loudly scolded them.
But I only had eyes for my husband as he pulled me into his arms and let his hands slide down to my arse. My heart responded to his touch and my lips parted as I stared up at him.
He took the cup of tea from my hands and looked down at it. "What is this? Where have you been?"
"It's tea. Your sister made it for me," I answered, disappointed that his hands had left my backside.
He frowned and sniffed it, which was then followed with a slow grin. "Dear Halla. This is a relaxant tea." His eyes met mine, his lips curled in a devilish smirk that made me want to slap him and kiss him at the same time.
I reached for the cup of tea but he lifted it above my head and out of my reach.
"Asvald!" I protested and stood on my tiptoes, yet I still couldn't get to it. "Let me have it!"
He shook his head and grinned down at me with mischief written all over his expression. "I want a lively wife in my bed tonight, not a sleepy slug." He tilted the cup and quirked an eyebrow.
"Don't you dare," I hissed. I needed that tea. Just being this close to Asvald set me on edge. We weren't even naked yet, for heaven's sake!
He laughed and handed me the tea. "But only because it is the first time for you."
I nodded my thanks and quickly gulped down the thin, sweet tea.
Asvald brought me closer again and took the cup from my hand, tossing it across the room. His family glanced at us. But when they saw how close our bodies were, they were quick to turn away.
Dipping his head down, he tasted my lips, and when his tongue parted my lips, he tasted my mouth.
I trembled as my body responded to his actions. "Take me to bed now," I murmured against his mouth, amazed at how foggy my head felt.
He grunted and lifted my legs so they wrapped around his waist and I clung to him as he carried me into his room and kicked the door shut behind us. Lying us down on the bed, he continued to kiss me passionately, stirring into mindless desire.
The tea worked its magic as I felt the tenseness in my muscles ease away, my eyelids feeling heavy as I watched Asvald pull his shirt over his head and slip out of the leggings he wore underneath.
Even the sight of his erect manhood didn't frighten me. Instead I let him guide my hand there, let him teach me how to caress a man's body.
My heart skipped a beat when my touch drew a moan from his lips. An ache formed and intensified between my legs. The power I had over him was sweet indeed.
Finally, he pushed my head away and yanked my dress roughly over my head and tossed it away, his hands sliding over my hips, up my sides, until they covered my small, handful-sized breasts.
"Do you like them?" I asked ever so quietly, biting down on my lower lip and peering at him from beneath my heavy eyelids.
He lifted his head, his eyes intense in a way that should have scared me. "I love them," he said huskily and gently gave my breasts a squeeze. "Perfect," he murmured almost to himself and lowered his head, taking one pink tip between his lips.
I gasped at the strange sensation, panting as he sucked, my hand clutching his hair. A little cry escaped me as he did the same to the other breast. Why had I resisted all this time? His mouth was pure heaven. You hated him, I reminded myself but promptly swept the annoying thought away.
The muscles of my stomach tightened as his mouth moved slowly, his tongue circling my navel. A moan passed my lips and I hardly cared.
"Asvald," I whispered, and felt him grin against my skin. He kissed right above my mound, his hands gripping my hips tightly.
Never in my life had I felt so breathless and flushed and desperate. "Asvald," I whimpered again, my legs parting by instinct.
His mouth returned to my neck and he kissed the soft skin there as his hands brushed my private curls, stealing my breath away.
His fingers dipped lower and I groaned into his shoulder, clutching the blankets in my hands. "Holy hell," I moaned and pressed myself into his hand, feeling no shame.
"Do you like that?" he asked, lifting his head to stare down into my eyes. I nodded and closed my eyes, soaking in the delightful pleasure of his touch.
"I want to hear you say it," he murmured in my ear, his voice nearly a growl.
Though I felt a pang of embarrassment, I was too caught up in the moment to ponder it for long. "It feels nice."
"Are you ready? I need to be inside you," he groaned. "Now."
My mind cleared as realization hit me, and my stomach clenched. "Asvald..."
He grunted in response, his head tucked in my neck, his lips placing soft, wet kisses there.
It felt foolish to wish for comfort, I was hardly a child. But Asvald seemed to know what I needed without any hint from me. He curled his arms around me and nuzzled my hair, his breath tickling my scalp, though he didn't speak.
One arm slid under my knee and he lifted my leg onto his hip, allowing himself to slip right between my thighs. When my leg was curled around him, he used that hand to reach down between us. I lifted myself on my elbows and tried to peek down at what he was doing.
"Lie back," he commanded without looking up at me.
My body shook strongly, and I didn't have the control to stop it, so I lay back and closed my eyes, feeling only his powerful body against me.
The tip of his manhood entered me and I gasped, my hands locking down on his arms, but I kept my eyes squeezed shut. My heart beat fast as a bird's inside my chest.
"Relax," he murmured, and shifted forward, moving deeper inside of me just as he caught my earlobe between his teeth.
"Ah," I breathed as I felt him inside me, the strange sensation making my heartbeat faster as Asvald lifted his head and gazed into my eyes, his jaw slack with pleasure.
In answer to my response, he brought his hips forward into me again, the start of a steady rhythm. Asvald's scent soothed me, the same smell on his pillow that comforted me while I cried. I let out a little cry when he moved a bit faster, pleasure replacing the ache.
He grinned and tugged lightly at my hair. "Is this as horrible as you thought, feisty one?"
I blushed and rolled my eyes, tightening my legs around him. "It had more to do with the fact of me hating you, rather than any pain I might feel in your arms."
With the last word of my sentence, he gave a strong thrust and made me moan. He bit down on his lower lip and huffed, his hips beginning to move faster yet.
I felt my heart would burst out of my chest, the excitement and the friction almost more than I could bear.
"I'm nearly finished," he groaned in my ear, his breath hot and quick. "You are so damn tight."
His passionate words sent a spark of pleasure through me, and I let out a loud moan when he touched me again, between my thighs on that special bud that sent me into a heated frenzy.
The groans continued in my ear, the thrusting of his hips lunging and almost rough as he sought his release, he rubbed the little bud even faster.
Tightness formed in my chest and I pushed my hips downward into the bed, my back arching as the beautiful heat moved up from my lower belly and exploded in my chest. I lost myself in the feeling, and left all care behind except for the desire for release. I found myself biting down painfully on my lower lip to stop myself from screaming as the release hit, leaving me trembling and weak, unable to move. Somewhere in that haze, I heard Asvald give a shout and hot wetness filling me.
He pulled out, drawing out a gasp from me, and flopped down on the bed. Beads of sweat covered his forehead, his face flushed like a child with a fever. My own chest shone with sweat, shimming as it rose and fell with every breath.
When I felt like I could move again, I rolled onto my side to face Asvald. Embarrassment teased at me, but I did my best to set it aside. He also rolled onto his side, his hand stretching out to caress my cheek.
His lips parted as he started to speak, then closed again. Instead he brought me to his chest and pressed his cheek to the top of my head.
I could hear the thudding of his heart under my ear; it was such a beautiful sound. The sound of life. I giggled as I found myself thinking, he really is human, not a devil.
"Min kone." he sighed and gave me a squeeze. "I'm suddenly starving." He flashed me his charming grin and pulled on his pants. "Care to join me for something to eat?"
His causal attitude somehow put me at ease and I climbed carefully out of bed, feeling a little unsteady on my feet. Asvald tossed me my dress and helped me tug it down over my head. Once it was on, he wrapped an arm around my waist and tugged me closer to him.
"Thank you for allowing me in your bed, Eachna," he whispered tenderly, his eyes closed as he brushed his nose against mine.
I flushed red and wrapped my arms around his neck. "Aye...well...I was getting tired of fighting you off."
The fire was still blazing in the main room, Asvald's family still talking around the fire and the little ones playing quietly in a corner. A kitten squirmed in Thord's tight hold, and Ulf laughed while patting its head.
Bork gave Asvald a knowing look and Groa smiled softly at me, her gentle eyes telling me that she knew exactly what had just happened between me and her son.
We ignored their curious glances and sat by the fire, where two plates of food waited for us. Asvald handed me one, then settled the other on his knee. He brought his head close to mine so we could whisper.
"Are you alright?"
I nodded slightly and lifted a piece of chicken to my mouth. I'd never felt so hungry in my life. A sudden realization occurred to me and I gasped, then coughed as I choked on my food.
Asvald pounded on my back. "You alright there, love?"
My eyes watered and I gripped my knees tightly, until I could breathe normally again. "Asvald, you forgot to..." I was speaking loudly, so I lowered my voice and leaned close to him. "You forgot to spill on my stomach!"
He smirked at me, his eyes full of mischief. "I believe I told you that I would always finish inside you, kone."
I fought my irritation and instead focused on finishing my meal. Of course Asvald wouldn't listen to my wishes. He never did. If I had a child taking root inside me...I knew not what I would do. I pressed a hand to my stomach, suddenly feeling sick.
"I need to lie down," I murmured to Asvald without meeting his gaze and slipped back into his bedroom.
He followed after me and slipped out of his pants as I crawled under the blankets.
"Don't you want to take off your dress?" He asked as I laid my head down on the pillow, stomach down.
"No," I grunted and closed my eyes, fighting a feeling a panic. What had I done? Asvald had finally seduced me and I went to bed with him, my mind muddled so badly that I hadn't thought through what I was doing. I bit down hard on my lower lip.
"Please don't be angry with me," he whispered and kissed my shoulder through my dress. His hand rested on my hip, caressing gently.
I used my elbow to push his hand away. "Let me sleep, I will be in a better mood tomorrow, I'm sure."
Instead of arguing with me, he sighed and faced the opposite way. It wasn't long before I heard gentle snores.
On an impulse, I got out of bed and pinned on my cloak. Where are you going? I asked myself, but I didn't have an answer.
I slipped out into the main room and grabbed a satchel, filled it with apples and bread, and stuffed a blanket in there as well.
Carefully and slowly, I tiptoed through the village until I reached the river. "Just a little walk," I whispered to myself, shaking off my fear of the dark, and the strange noises that echoed around me. The hoot of an owl, the distant cry of a wolf. Other sounds I could not place.
Fog rose off the river. I stood still. Finally I chose to head the opposite direction than I had went last time I tried to escape. I would just follow the river and see where it takes me.
But as I walked, deeper into the forest and further away from the village, I soon regretted my rash decision. Never in my life had I felt so lost, in more ways than one.
An ache still lingered between my legs, reminding me of my lost innocence.
The silver moon cast a silver light on the river's water, and on the leaves of the trees, rattling in a most disconcerting way.
Danger, the breeze seemed to whisper to me. Turn around.
"I want to go home," I whimpered in response. "Ireland is my home."
The ground was soft below my feet, making each step a struggling effort not to slip, but I feared straying too far from the river.
The river of silver was my guide, its roar comforting me. If a danger approached me, my moon-lit escort would surely swallow it up.
The damp earth soon soaked through my elk skin shoes and my cloak felt thin as air. My toes went numb and I trembled as I walked faster, hoping to build up the heat inside me.
At last I couldn't walk any longer, so I settled beneath a tree and pulled out my blanket, using it with my cloak to keep me warm. Unfortunately, it is extremely hard to fall asleep in a strange dark forest all alone with only the ground, a tree trunk, and a single blanket for a bed.
Sleep avoided me for what seemed like hours, until my eyes closed and didn't open again.
...
The sun was just rising about the mountains when I awoke, filling the sky with soft pink. A smile appeared on my face as the light warmed me and gave me a sense of protection.
After a breakfast of half an apple and a chunk of bread, I kept walking along the rushing river, even singing a jaunty Irish Gaelic tune to myself.
But as it got closer to midday, the roar of the river intensified, and quite suddenly, the river ended abruptly in a steep waterfall in the face of a tall mountain.
Somehow in the night, I hadn't realized that I was headed right for a mountain, which completely blocked my path.
"Damn it to hell!" I shrieked and fell to the ground in a tired heap. As much as I didn't want to admit it, with no river to follow, and no protection against anything in the woods or any knowledge on how to navigate them, I could have to turn back and return to the village. Perhaps I knew that all along.
I cradled my head in my hands and squeezed my eyes shut. Asvald would kill me. He'd beat me within an inch of my life if I returned to him now. Of maybe he would have mercy on me since I decided to come back on my own.
Well, it was decided. I would have to go back. But why rush?
I laid in the grass and let my feet dangle in the cold water of the river, letting fish nibble my toes while I munched on a sweet, crunchy apple. Clouds drifted lazily across the gray-blue sky, and I sighed happily at my first taste of freedom in what seemed like so long.
I tossed the apple core into the river and slowly got to my feet again. I had to face my punishment sometime.
It took the rest of the day and another whole night of walking before I reached the village again in the early morning light.
The villagers were just beginning to immerge from their houses, and when they caught sight of me, a few of them ran off somewhere, probably to alert Asvald of my presence.
I sighed and straightened my spine. "Prepare yourself," I murmured under my breath and walked with heavy feet toward my doom.
But when I arrived at the longhouse, Asvald wasn't home. Groa welcomed me with a fuss, and Asvald's siblings crushed me in their embraces, but then Groa scolded me as she set me in front of the fire and gave me a plate of roasted meat and vegetables.
A shadow blocked out the light from the doorway and I slowly looked up to see Asvald standing there, his eyes hard and angry. He had been gentle with me before I chose to run away. My decision was so foolish. It would take me forever to gain his trust back.
"Asvald," I said softly, my throat feeling tight. A light sweat broke out on my palms and I wiped them on my dress. "I am sorry."
Silently he sat across the fire from me, staring at me without speaking. The room was hushed, even the little ones sensing the tension. Groa quickly herded the children out of the longhouse, leaving me alone with my very foul tempered husband.
I folded my hands in my lap, though I couldn't sit still, my knee bouncing up and down. "Are you going to hurt me?"
He slowly stood and came to my side, curling his hand around my arm. His grip tightened to the point of pain. "Depends on if you consider embarrassment to be pain."
Before I had a chance to consider his words, he dragged me out into the center of the village, which only meant one thing. He intended to summon a crowd.
"Asvald, please, whatever you are thinking, don't do it!" I begged me, and went weak at the knees.
He pulled me upright again and growled in my ear. "You should not have run away."
All the blood in my body seemed to rush down to my feet and left me feeling lightheaded and nervous.
A good crowd at formed now and Asvald began to speak. "As you all know, my wife Eachna decided to run away two nights ago, and she also decided to return again. But, she must still face her punishment."
He shoved me down onto my knees and tilted my chin up. "I tried to change for you, kone. I have tried to control my temper, and show you gentleness and care, but in return you spat in my face."
Tears welled in my eyes and I hung my head in shame, amazed at how deeply his words stung. "I'm sorry, Asvald. I stopped thinking and when I realized what I had done, it was too late. Please forgive me. I made a mockery of your love and that was unfair of me." The words were sincere, and heart-felt.
Something in him shifted, and I glanced at the crowd. The people were holding their breath, waiting to see what Asvald would do to me. I recognized many of the faces, faces of people that I was beginning to think of as my friends.
I heard the creak of his knees as he knelt in front of me and lifted my chin with his knuckle. Tears mixed with snot smeared my face, and my eyes must have been swollen and red.
"I was going to make you do something utterly demeaning in front of all these people, but instead I will give you a less harsh form of humiliation."
Again he rose to his feet and I stayed on my knees, though my leg muscles began to tingle sharply and my knees ached from the small stones beneath them.
"Go gather your rotten food and return quickly. Pelt her with it, and we shall be done with all of this," Asvald commanded, and the crowd burst into an energetic buzz, rushing to do as he said.
Groaning, I covered my face with my hands. How disgusting! But I suppose it was better than what I thought had been coming.
The crowd gathered again and I was glad I covered my face when mushy apples and other vegetables rained down on me, splattering against my body and coating my hair with rotten mush. They laughed and jeered at me, and I knew it would take me a long time to earn back their respect.
Thankfully, the food-throwing didn't last long and the people wandered away, leaving me smelling and looking like a garbage heap.
Asvald lifted me to my feet by my elbows, though he kept me at arm's length. "You are certainly a sight, Eachna."
I spit out a chunk of rotten carrot that had somehow made its way into my mouth. A feisty response came to me but I choked it down, not wishing to evoke any more punishment.
Groa joined us, her footsteps crunching softly as she carefully approached. "Best get you cleaned up," she murmured and took my hand, leading me away from Asvald.
I hurried after her, leaving globs of mush in my wake.
. …
Asvald and I avoided each other for the next few days; I was miserable and sorry, if not a bit ashamed, and he was still angry and hurt. I couldn't even look at him, couldn't be contented in his presence. He didn't smile, and stopped speaking to me. My heart always felt heavy and painful within me. Never in my life had I felt as alone as I did now.
We lived as two different people in the same longhouse as the weeks rolled by. Asvald would give me a kiss in the morning and thank me for the meal, and wouldn't return until the sun started to set. After I finished all my chores, I would spend my time roaming the woods and shore, or with Groa and her children.
Several weeks after the whole food-throwing event, I asked Asvald,
"Can't I go home? What kind of life is this?"
He looked at me with sad eyes and sighed. "You cannot go home."
I groaned in frustration and rubbed my eyes. "That is your pride speaking, not your love for me. If you truly loved me, you'd allow me to return to my family."
He took my hand. "I am your family."
I shook my head and yanked my hand away, ready to walk away. "You never listen. You do not understand what this is like for me."
He rolled his eyes. "Alright, you stubborn woman. I will give you a choice. Stay with me and start a family, or I'll take you home to Ireland and you'll never hear of me again. It's your choice."
My heart skipped a beat and I opened my mouth to say I wanted to go home, then hesitated. Asvald was my husband, I'd given myself to him, and now I wasn't sure if I could leave him. My eyes met his blue ones, filling with tears.
He smiled and gently touched my cheek. "See? You're so loyal, you will never leave."`
"Asvald…" I started, fighting too many emotions to understand fully how I felt. He lowered his head and brushed his lips against mine.
"Let me show you all I have to offer," he murmured against my lips. The tears that had gathered in my eyes fell down my cheeks, and off my chin.
I nodded and cupped his face in my hands. He pulled back and kissed away my tears, running his lips tenderly along my jaw. Shivering, I moved closer to him, my body pressed into his.
"Ireland is my home," I whispered, more tears falling.
"Home is where your heart is," Asvald murmured, and together we knelt onto our furs, his kiss gentle and loving. My heart was beating fast, and though Asvald was trying to comfort me, I could do nothing to stop my sobbing. Laying me back, he leaned over me, propped up on his elbow.
"Hush, don't cry," he said softly, his sweet side showing. I smiled through my tears and wiped them away.
My choices rolled around in my mind, between my family and Asvald. My family seemed like the obvious choice, but with Asvald smiling down at me, his hands caressing me; it wasn't easy to decide to give that up. I didn't want to give up his warmth in the night and his morning kisses, or the feel of his skin under my palms. No, I didn't want let those things go. Asvald was mine, as much as he considered me to be his.
Tears started falling again, my chest shaking and shuddering as I tried to cope with everything I was feeling. "If only…"
He shook his head and rested his finger against my lips. "Shhh. No more 'if only's.' We have our future, our life. I will love you forever."
I reached up and pulled him down to me, kissing him with passion because I didn't want to lose him. If I returned to Ireland, I would be unable to marry again and would live my life alone. I couldn't live alone; I always needed someone there to keep me company. "I love you, Asvald. I will stay, my dear husband. I will stay."
He breathed a sigh of relief and kissed my neck. "Thank you. I will spend the rest of my life giving back everything I took away. It is my wish that soon you will have my child, so your heart will not be empty."
Heat crawled up my neck, and I smiled as I threaded my fingers through his hair. "It's my desire as well."
Moving over me, he leaned down to give me a soft, gentle kiss. Sighing, I held him close and kissed him back. His tongue touched my bottom lip and I opened up to him, groaning when our tongues made contact. The familiar musky scent of him made my heart beat faster, the feel of his muscles under my palms making my head spin. I felt him against my thigh, and a hot blush covered my chest and neck.
"Touch me," he whispered in my ear and nibbled on my neck. I sucked in a deep breath and let my trembling hand wander down his toned belly that was covered lightly in amber colored hair. He let out a loud groan when my hand caressed him. Smiling, I gave myself in to everything my body yearned for and what Asvald needed.
Later, we lay resting together my head resting on Asvald's chest as he sweetly caressed my hair.
"Are you happy, minn kone?" He asked softly, kissing the top of my head. I sighed and ran my fingertips through the course hairs that tampered down toward his manhood. Lifting myself on my elbow, I kissed his chest. "Yes."
"Are you saying that to tickle my ears or do you mean it?" He asked, his voice still husky from our love making.
Nipping him lightly, I giggled. "I mean it, maor."
Smiling, he tilted my chin up and claimed my lips, tasting me like I was some sweet wine. Deep in my heart, the words resounded. I am happy.
After the morning meal, Asvald left to tend the animals and I decided to ask Groa if she needed my assistance. "Can I help you?"
She smiled and nodded. "I'd like that, Eachna."
I knelt beside her and started scrubbing one of the wooden dishes. "Everything is well between Asvald and me now." I glanced at her and grinned.
"That is good," she chuckled. "You will be much happier now. Trust me, Asvald will never stray from your arms now."
I nodded. "I hope so."
That day I took Ulf down to the river to splash in the water, needing to see what it would be like to be a mother. It was possible that soon I would have a child of my own to care for. Ulf sat on the bank, making a ball of mud and moss as his chubby feet kicked in the clear, cool water.
I sat down beside him with a sewing project, and he smiled up at me.
"Na, look!" he cried and put the ball of mud on my knee. I picked it up and tossed it back to him, and tried to wipe the mud from my dress.
"You play with it, Ulf," I said in Irish. I had taught Ulf some of my language. Most of what I said to him, he understood. He had taken to calling me Na, because he couldn't say Eachna. Spending time with him helped ease the pain of never seeing my little nephew and niece again.
Two strong hands came down on my shoulders and I tilted my head back to see Asvald smiling down at me.
"Good afternoon, husband," I murmured and he leaned down to kiss my lips.
"And to you, kone," he said before sitting beside Ulf, who called his name and crawled up into his lap, pressing his muddy hands to Asvald's cheeks.
Asvald spoke gently to him in Norse and removed the child's hands, laughing softly. Ulf grinned and tugged on Asvald's long hair, spreading more mud. Asvald stood, taking Ulf with him, and wadded into the river. He washed the mud from Ulf's hands, and from his own face and hair. Looking up at me, he called,
"Why is he so obedient to you, but is a trouble maker with me?"
I grinned. "Because you are his brother. It is his job to cause trouble for you."
He shook his head and lifted Ulf onto his shoulders, and waded back up to the bank. He stripped off his soaked shirt, his strong back and chest there for me to admire. Remembering how it felt to be in his arms, I blushed and lifted Ulf off his shoulders and placed him on the ground. I took his little hand and together we walked back to Groa's longhouse, Asvald trailing behind us.
Once I got Ulf back to Groa, I decided to take a short walk.
Asvald trotted up behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist.
"I liked seeing you care for my brother. It reminds me what a great mother you will be," he murmured by my ear, nipping my earlobe.
I giggled and leaned back into his embrace. "Maybe tonight…I'll conceive your child."
He spun me around to face him, bringing me tight against his body. Lowering his head, he captured my lips with his. I whimpered and fisted my hands in his hair. Slowly he brought us to our knees before laying me back in the grass.
"Asvald, here is not the place," I whispered, moaning when his aroused manhood pressed into me. He kissed my neck and caressed my thighs, one hand at his trousers, working to undo the tie.
"Asvald, someone will see. We are on a hill," I panted, placing my hand over his to still his movement.
"Let them see," he growled, biting the soft skin where my neck met my shoulder. "Let them know that you are mine." Lifting my dress, he slid between my legs.
"Stop it! It's only a short ways to our longhouse," I said and pushed against his chest. "The whole village need not watch."
He stilled and looked into my eyes. "I did not wish to upset you." He got to his feet and offered his hand to me. I stood and together we walked until we came to our longhouse.
"Tomorrow I will teach you Norse, if that is what you wish," he said as we settled down beside the fire.
"Yes, that would be wonderful!" I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him lightly. "I need to learn."
He kissed me hungrily on the mouth. "And I am always willing to teach."