Chapter Eleven

Spring came and went and summer began, and still the men did not return. Apparently it took a long time to raid village after village along the Irish coast.

Sleep avoided me those few long months, nightmares waking me every night. A cold sweat would coat my skin as I remembered flashes of swords and spurts of blood and high-pitched screams which taunted my mind as I slept. Sometimes I would see Asvald, a helpless woman pinned beneath him in the blood-flooded cobblestone street. Other times I would feel Asvald's hand curling around my own neck as he dragged me away from my family.

With the lack of sleep and the constant headaches and roiling stomach, I almost felt glad that Asvald wasn't around to see me in such a way.

Groa helped me cope with the pregnancy, and offered me advice, but despite her tenderness toward me, for the first time in a long time, I felt myself longing desperately for my mother. My family's faces were beginning to dissolve in my mind, and with the heightened emotions due to the little bump forming at my waist, I fought the sadness every day, longing to accept my current life.

The child would be an unbreakable bond to Asvald for the rest of my life. Whether I wanted it or not, Asvald would be a part of my life until my death. As the tiny bump appeared, I felt the searing pain of watching my dreams of returning home dissipate
Of course I wanted the baby, but at the same time there was the loss of my chances of seeing my family again.

One night I went to Groa and fell into her arms crying, despite the late hour. She listened to my sobbing and the source of my pain, all the while her cheek pressed to the top of my head as she rubbed my back.

"I know, Eachna, I know," she murmured and squeezed me, and I felt comforted because she honestly did understand.

Slowly my sobs eased and I listened quietly to soft and soothing voice.

"This child, and Asvald, will become your family, and soon the loss will change into the greatest blessing you have ever known. Believe me, the first time you hold your child and see its precious face, you will realize that you had been waiting for this moment your whole life. Do not mourn. Just wait." Gently, she wiped away my tears. "Do you love him, Eachna?"

I nodded, and when I spoke my voice was thick. "I do. I love him very much." It was the true, I never would deny that I loved him. Groa gave me a look, a disapproving one, and for the first time, I felt guilty for my tears and my self-pity. For months I said I loved my husband, and then cried myself to sleep missing my home, hoping to make him see the hurt he put me through, hoping he would hate himself for it. Was that love? How could I treat the father of my child in such a way?

Slowly I withdrew from Groa and settled back into my bed, which felt much too large without Asvald sleeping by my side.

For the first time in nearly three months, sleep came and the nightmares faded away.

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On a warm day late in August, the dragon ships arrived on the horizon. The whole village gathered on the shore to greet the returning men, the crowd buzzing with excitement.

I searched the ships for Asvald's face when they got close enough, and soon found him in the largest ship, standing at the bow. A warm feeling like mead on an empty stomach flittered through me. My husband was home. I glanced down at my slightly rounded belly and caressed it. How would Asvald react to seeing my blooming form?

But as the ships docked, my heart sank as Asvald got off the ship with a young woman, wrists tied in a rope as Asvald dragged her from the docks into the crowd, coming towards me. I heard the young woman growling in Irish.

Soon they stood before me, Asvald with a triumphant grin on his face. "Come here, kone, and give me a kiss."

My hands went to my face as I felt blood rush to my cheeks in anger. "What have you done?" My voice was low as a warning.

"I brought her as a gift for our household, both ours and my parents. She will mostly be a help to my mother, you have no need to worry about her." His hopeful eyes searched mine, like he was begging me not to be angry.

But I ignored Asvald and looked over the girl who seemed to be near the same age at me. Perhaps a little taller than me, she had a heart-shaped face with brown eyes, and sleek brown hair. It was easy to see that the girl was livid and ready for a fight, as she growled in Irish and struggled against her bonds. My ears felt a strange shock at hearing my native language after such a long time. I had stopped speaking Irish months ago.

Her lovely brown eyes met mine, the look therein almost intimidating. I felt myself shrink under her glare.

"Don't you dare look at me with pity, woman," she snapped in Irish. Her brows arched and her gaze didn't waver.

I tried to change my expression and instead turned to Asvald, folding my arms over my chest. "How could you do this to any Irish woman?" I could see that Asvald's temper was rising to the surface.

"You are not my authority and I do not answer to you," he growled slowly and leaned over me. "You are my wife, not my leader."

Quick as lightning, I reached out and slapped him across the face. As soon as the smack cracked the air, I regretted it. But I had a temper before I was pregnant, and the child seemed to make it worse, along with all my other emotions.

He grunted and grabbed my wrist, twisting my arm behind my back. "I could have you whipped for such a blatant act of disrespect!" The force he extended was frightening.

"Stop!" I cried and my other hand covered my belly. "Please, the baby."

Realization dawned in his eyes and they dropped to the hand on my belly, the bump underneath. He released my other wrist. "You are with child," he breathed in awe and brought me to his chest. "You are with child!"

I melted into his warmth, despite how much I wanted to resist him. "I am." But then I pushed away from him. "Back to the matter at hand," I said, gesturing to the tied up girl, who stood watching us with her lips parted, her brows close together.

"Eachna, I know this upsets you and I am sorry for that, especially in your...delicate condition, but she will hardly affect you." He patted my arm as if to convince me.

I threw up my hands. "She will live in my house, so yes, she will affect me!"

Asvald took my arm and the three of us walked toward our longhouse, though the girl dug her heels in the ground and resisted.

Pity tugged at my heart as I knew exactly what she was going through. I turned to her and placed my hands on her shoulders. "Listen to me. I am Irish, which I am sure you can tell. This man next to me captured me a year ago and made me his wife. I have tried to run away twice, and I can tell you right now there is no point because there is nowhere to go." I paused for breath. "What is your name?"

"Alanna," she answered and pressed her lips together. Her eyes amazed me, for I could see the strength and the resistance of her own fear.

"Alanna, you can trust me, and my mother-in-law, who was also captured as a girl. We know what you are going through, and we can help, but first you must trust us. I can assure you no harm will come to you." I tried to copy the levelness of her gaze, to reassure her. "I promise you."

Though her body language was still wary, she nodded and followed us into the longhouse, which was empty. Groa and the rest of her children were still down on the beach welcoming Bork.

"Eachna, I am exhausted. If I lie down for a while, can you make sure that Alanna is bathed and fed, and dressed as a thrall?" Asvald asked, his hand brushing my arm. As if a simple touch of his hand could persuade me to do his bidding.

I resented him for making me play a role in this girl's thralldom, but I nodded, remembering what a help Groa had been to me when I first arrived.

Asvald went into our bedroom and shut the door, and I turned to Alanna. "Would you like to bathe or eat first?"

"Eat," she answered and sat down by the fire, glaring down at her bound wrists.

I grabbed a knife and cut the ropes, revealing the bloody, raw skin underneath. Alanna hissed in pain and let her wrists rest on her knees. I handed her a plate of bread and cheese, knowing that she probably hadn't eaten well in weeks, and giving her meat right away could upset her stomach.

She ate quickly and I sat nearby, running my hands over my stomach. "I am sorry my husband took you. I told him not to when he left on the raid."

Her gaze met mine, and she shrugged her shoulders. "He is a brute. I doubt you could control him anyway." She looked down at my belly. "Did he force you?"

I shook my head and smiled. "No, he never did."

"So you gave in to him." Her brow arched in disapproval. "The wee babe inside you will be the child of a whore." Shaking her head, she went back to eating.

Since her life had recently been turned upside down, I did not take her words to heart, and inside passed her a cup of water.

When she set aside her plate, I gathered a clean dress, stockings, and a pair of shoes, along with a bar of soap and a rag, and gestured for her to follow me outside.

We walked to the river side by side, Alanna taking in her surroundings.

"Why wouldn't you escape? Why didn't you follow the shore?" She asked, pointing behind toward the beach.

"I still don't know the land, and I don't know how to survive in the woods on my own. Running away never would have worked, and I think I always knew that." I kept my gaze on the path in front of me, not wanting to make the girl beside me uneasy.

"How could a true Irish lass like you turn into one of them?" She asked, her words biting. Seems like we shared a spirit of stubbornness. Of course, the Irish tended to share that particular trait.

I sighed and tugged on the end of my braid, considering her question. "I am not one of them, I will always have Irish blood and it will always be my homeland. But I chose to try to be happy here with them rather than live in misery for the rest of my life." I thought of my time with Jabez and the scars on my back seemed to burn on my skin. But I would keep that to myself a while longer.

"We could escape together," Alanna nearly shouted and turned to face me, her hands gripping my arms, her eyes alight with excitement. "You said you shouldn't survive in the woods on your own, but we could survive if we went together!"

For the first time in a long time, I felt a yearning to take off at a run and never look behind me. Alanna's longing for freedom reflected what I'd been suppressing since Asvald and I made love for the first time.

But my hand went straight to the bump of my belly and I felt my throat tighten. I knew that the child would be the bonds that would forever connect me to Asvald, and I knew I could never try to leave again. I loved Asvald, too, and that couldn't be denied any longer.

I sighed and gently pulled my arms away from her and kept walking. "I am having his child in six months. I cannot leave him, and I know you can't understand it now, but I love him."

She cursed quietly to herself and glanced at me. "I feel like I can trust you."

Smiling, I handed her the rag and soap. "I am glad. Now show me that I can trust you. Go into that clearing and bathe quickly in the river and put on these clothes." I laid the folded dress and stocking in her arms with the shoes on top. "Met me here when you are finished."

Her eyes widened as she looked past me toward the clearing cut in half by the river, then back at me. But she didn't speak.

I held her gaze and said, "You will not be treated like a slave in our house, I will see to that. You will eat with us as a family, and you will have a comfortable place to sleep, and you will do as much work as the rest of us do. You will not be beaten or touched physically in any way. I will protect you."

She pursed her lips and nodded, lowering her eyes so I couldn't read her expression. "I will be back." With that, she turned and walked into the clearing.

I sighed and sat down in the grass beside the path, listening to the sweet birdsong and the breeze through the trees. Such a beautiful day. What a shame that it was the beginning of a difficult road for Alanna. She would struggle just like I did, but she would not have a man attacking her, but she always wouldn't have him love to lean on. But I would make sure that she could lean on me.

A short while later, she reappeared in my dress, which fitted her a little loosely, because I was a bit bigger than she. Her damp her was braided over one shoulder like my own and she looked healthier without the grime of travel on her face. I was almost surprised to see her, and that she hadn't run off.

"I wanted to," she said with a guilty smile. "But it would feel too wrong to break your trust."

I knew that she might be trying to earn my trust now so she could run later, but I still appreciated it that she returned. "Thank you." I grinned and bumped her with my shoulder as we headed back to the longhouse. "You saved me from a fight with my husband."

"You're welcome," she grumbled, and I bit back a smile. Perhaps I was selfishly glad to have a friend from my homeland.

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Asvald woke as we were sitting down to dinner, and he blinked the clouds of sleep from his eyes as he looked over Alanna. "Why isn't she dressed as a thrall?" His question was aimed at me.

I handed him his plate of food and tugged him over to the fire and sat him down. "She will not be treated like a thrall in this house. She will be respected and protected, understand?"

Asvald's brow arched and he glanced from my face down to my belly and back up.

That's right, I thought. Do not argue with a pregnant woman.

"Alright," he murmured. "As long as she carries her share of the work, I do not care what she is or isn't wearing. I will leave her under the control of you and my mother." He glanced at Groa, who was speaking to her husband as he ate.

"Thank you," I murmured and kissed his cheek. The talk I had with Groa flashed through my mind, and I reminded myself to speak privately with Asvald as soon as possible.

Alanna ate quietly, her face filled with sorrow she could not hide. The tension showed in her eyes, in the way she chewed slowly. I felt myself mirroring that tension. I left Asvald's side and sat beside her.

"Do you want to tell me about your family?" I asked softly, knowing that talking about the people one loves can make one feel as if they are with one again.

"No," she grunted and set aside her food, having hardly touched it. "Do not ask questions." Her voice was sharp and she refused to meet my gaze.

"Alight," I sighed, wishing she would accept some form of comfort me, if not for herself, than for me.

Asvald gestured for me to return to my place beside him and I did, leaning on his shoulder. "I am still furious with you." A smile rested on my lips, though, and the words came more from stubbornness than from truth.

He chuckled and wrapped one arm around my shoulder, keeping me close to his side. "I know you are. But," he lowered his head so his mouth was near my ear. "Did you realize that I brought a bit of your homeland home to you?"

"That is sick, Asvald. She is not a part of my homeland, like you brought me home a rock from an Irish beach. She is a human being with a family who loves her." Emotion rose in my throat but I choked it down. Damn pregnancy, it was making me unstable.

"I know that, Eachna. I knew that when I took you." He turned his attention to his food and began inhaling it.

I picked at my own food, taking a few bites but still feeling a little too unsettled to eat.

After our meal, I moved to help Alanna and Groa with the cleaning up, but Asvald caught my hand and tugged me toward our bedroom. "We need our time alone, come on."

Of course I didn't resist, and he shut the door soundly behind us. Within moments, his arms were around me and his mouth was on mine, devouring me hungrily.

When he pulled away, he mumured in my ear, "Take off your dress. Let me see you."

My heart pounded with excitement and I obeyed, though a little slowly. My body had changed, obviously with my bump and all, and I worried about his reaction to it.

But as soon as my dress hit the floor, Asvald's hands were on my belly, caressing and running his thumbs over the taunt skin. He got to his knees and pressed his lips to my navel. "Sweet little babe," he murmured. "I love you."

Smiling, I stroked his hair and felt my heart melt as he expressed his joy for the wee babe inside me.

Finally, he got to his feet and tugged me to the bed, lying me down on my back. But instead of covering my body with his own and opening my legs, he laid on his side next to me, his hand resting on my bump.

"We created this wee one with our love," he whispered and looked at me with gentle eyes. "Simply amazing, isn't it?" His fingers drifted lightly over my skin.

I nodded as I felt tears pool in my eyes. Sighing I wiped them away and laughed softly. "My emotions are severely heightened right now."

He chuckled and drew me to his chest, draping one leg over my hip so we were as close as possible to each other and perfectly entwined.

When I heard the rest of the family settling down for bed in the other room, I whispered to Asvald, "You know she is going to try to run tonight."

"I know," he grunted and refused to meet my eyes.

"I will go after her," I said and got up from the bed, pulling my dress on again. "She'll probably try in another hour or so and I'll listen for her. When she sneaks out, I'll follow her."

Asvald started to protest but I held up my hand. "You will only frighten her more."

He nodded reluctantly and nodded, patting the bed for me to join him once more. I did, and he pulled the blanket up over my shoulders.

...

Asvald fell asleep, and the longhouse was silent as I waited for the sounds of Alanna getting up from her bed.

It was around midnight when I heard shuffling, and I peeked out of the bedroom door to see Alanna slip out of the longhouse into the night.

I quickly followed her as she headed toward the shore. Sneaking up behind her, I took hold of her wrist. She jumped and have a little scream before turning on me and slapping me across the face.

I shook off my shock and gripped her shoulders. "You cannot escape. Trust me! Do you think that I wanted to stay here? Don't you realize that I wanted to get away just as much as you do? Trust me when I say that this won't work!"

She growled and struggled against me, sending us both to the ground. I rolled and pinned her beneath me. Luckily, I was heavier than she.

"Alright!" She cried and pushed me off of her. Getting to her feet, she looked upward in frustration and took a deep breath. "Fine! I understand."

I grabbed her arm and pulled her back toward the longhouse. She shook me off but kept walking with me. "Of course escape is impossible, since you keep stopping me."

I ignored her and we snuck slowly back into the longhouse and I pointed to her bed and rasied my eyebrows. Alanna made a face at me but settled beneath her blanket. The snores of the rest of the family rose up around us, and I suddenly felt extremely tired.

I left Alanna to her own devices and slipped back into bed with Asvald, who still slept soundly. With one leg draped over his hip, I fell back asleep.

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Thankfully Alanna didn't try to run away again, and she was helping Groa with breakfast when Asvald and I emerged from our bedroom.

When the morning meal was over and settled in our stomachs, Asvald suggested that we take a swim in the river, and I readily agreed.

Asvald took my hand and raced toward the river and I tried to keep up.
Upon reaching the river, Asvald stripped off his shirt and helped me with my dress, his mouth hungry and eager against my neck.

"I want to get my fill of you after being parted from one another for so long," he murmured, nibbling on my ear. I smiled and ran my fingers through his hair, though my response to his attention was a bit less passionate than usual.

He tugged my dress from my body and tossed it aside. Looking over my body, his eyes sparkled with love and desire, and returned to my face.

"Your breasts are bigger," he stated, his hands coming up to cup them. I tried to hide a wince. My breasts had become very sensitive since Asvald had planted his seed in my womb.

I reached out to caress the tent in his pants, trying to take his mind off my changing body. He quickly stripped out of his pants.

Wrapping my arms around his neck, I brought my lips an inch from his. "Asvald, if you do not take me right now, I will find someone else to do the job." My words had the intended effect. He lifted me into his arms with a possessive growl and carried me into the water. I twined my legs around his hips and clung to his neck. His mouth roamed over my chest, nipping me and kissing me, taking the hardened tip into his mouth. I groaned and my head fell back, the heat between my legs painful in the crisp water.

I felt his straining manhood against my arse, and rubbed against it.

"Gods, woman, you're killing me," he moaned, his hands tangled in my hair. I grinned and bit his chin, moaning as I moved against his taunt abdomen, grinding myself on him shamelessly.

"Fuck me senseless," I growled, needing him more than I thought possible. Earlier my body didn't seem all that willing, but once Asvald got my blood pumping...I was more than willing.

Asvald laid me down on the riverbank, most of my legs still in the water. Placing one hand by my head and the other on my hip, he entered me with a quick thrust and began pounding into me. For a moment I worried about the baby. Was it safe to make love while carrying a child? It was too late now.

My whole body trembled with pleasure, my cries sounding almost like I was in pain, Asvald's lovemaking was so intense. Asvald's face was flushed, his lips parted in bliss, his eyes half-closed. His cries were also loud, the kind of sound that made my stomach jump with wanting, making me even slicker between my legs.

His hips rolled faster and more jerky, his breathing deep yet quick. He was almost done. I wrapped my arms tighter around him, burying my face against him.

Reaching down between us, Asvald stroked my sensitive bundle of nerves, making me gasp and pant his name. My back arched off the ground, and that was it. I was lost in my pleasure, letting it roll over me again and again until I came back down to earth.

Asvald's eyes were squeezed shut and with one last deep plunge, he finished inside me. He rolled off me and gasped for air, both of our bodies flushed and spent.

"That was..." I started to say.

"The best it's ever been," Asvald finished for me and took my hands and pulled me up into a sitting position, then splashed some cool water on my flushed cheeks before leaning back on his hands. "I'm so very happy, minn kone. You've made me a very happy, happy man." He pulled me into his arms and squeezed me.

"I'm glad, my love," I whispered and returned his loving embrace. "You've made me happy too."

He pulled back and brushed my damp hair away from my face, his brilliant blue eyes searching mine. "Have I? I thought I ruined your life."

I shook my head and ran my fingers through his long, soft hair, letting the ends tickle the sensitive skin on my hands. "I am sorry for how I've been acting. I've been a spoiled bitch and I'm sorry."

Asvald smiled softly and kissed my cheek, then rubbed his beard against my neck. "It's understandable, love. But thank you for the apology."

We clung together again and I felt like a burden had lifted off my shoulders.

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A few months went by and my little bump grew into a big bump, and I could now feel the baby's kicks and movements inside me. Some nights Asvald would lie in bed with my and rest his hand on my belly to feel the baby's jabs.

"It's going to be a son," Asvald said to me as he rubbed his hand over my belly, waiting for the baby to respond.

I smiled and ran my fingers through his hair. "Why do you say that?"

"He's kicking," Asvald said with a grin and placed a kiss on my little bump. No matter how big my belly got, to me it would always be my little bump.

"All babies kick," I giggled and shook my head. "I think it's a daughter."

Asvald shook his head. "I pray that it's not. The last thing I need is another hot-headed female running around."

"Are you saying that I am hot-headed?" I scolded him with a smile. I already knew about my stubborn side.

"I love you," he murmured and kissed me gently. He looked at me for a moment, before moving down between my legs and lifting my shift.

"What are you doing?" I asked, my heart starting to pound.

"Giving you something you haven't had in a great while," he murmured before lowering his mouth to my center. My back arched and I clutched at his hair, crying his name. He hummed against me, cupping my bottom in his hands, keeping me close to him. The pleasure made my sight blurred, my limbs shaking as I soared to my peak. When my pleasure subsided, my eyes opened and met his, and he smiled.

"Minn fagr kone,"" he rumbled and gave me a passionate kiss. I smiled. An overwhelming tenderness for this man poured from my heart and I kissed him more fervently. This man was my lover, my husband, and my child's father, and I loved him.

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The pregnancy enhanced my dreams, making them vivid and all too real. Often I woke in a cold sweat, my heart pounding as the last whispers of the dream slipped away.

One night I saw my sister in my sleep, her smile just as I remembered it, her hand in mine as we walked on a beach. She asked me to come home, and I glanced down, seeing the bulge of my growing child. Her eyes followed mine and she touched my belly. "A wee demon, that's what it is."

Her words chilled me and I searched her face, dismayed to find tears standing in her eyes.

"Demon or no, he's mine," I whispered, meaning the child, but I was looking past my sister, to the outline of a man on a hill, a man I knew was Asvald. Kalin turned and waved to the form, before facing me again. Her golden eyes seemed to bore a hole right through my chest, like a beautiful sun that quickly blisters skin.

"You made your choice," she whispered and started backing away from me. I reached out to grap her wrist but it was already too far away. When I tried to move forward toward her, my feet felt heavy as a ship's anchor and I couldn't move. I screamed as she walked away from me and straight into the sea until she disappeared under the waves.

That scream is what woke me from the dream, tears coating my face. Asvald leaned over me on his elbow, brow furrowed with concern. "What is it?"

I closed my eyes and gulped for air, my chest squeezed in a tight fist. The homesickness left me breathless and shaken. The desire to see my home was so strong I felt I could run arcoss the sea back to Ireland.

"My sister," I hissed out from between my clenched teeth, in an attempt to hold in the sobs.

"Love," he whispered sleepily and pulled me into his arms, holding my head to his chest like a child who had just fallen and scraped his knee. But he did not say anything else, he just waited for me to relax against him. I found it odd that the same man who had caused this pain was now trying to ease it away. For a moment, I wanted nothing more than to cuff him on the side of his head and scream in his face. Damn fool of a man, he was.

But then he spoke the most sincere words I had heard him say in a long time. "I am sorry." The words rang with honesty and the pain of his own guilt. Perhaps his mistakes became the demons that tortured him at night.

I curled closer to him and inhaled his scent deeply, wanting to draw it into my heart. "Thank you," I whispered and kissed the smooth skin of his neck.

"We make choices, kone, and sometimes we hate the choice itself, yet we love the result." His hand went to my stomach, underneath so he could feel a bit of the weight of the babe. "I want to tell you that if I had the chance to go back and undo it, I would let you stay with your family and pass on by. But I cannot say that I could do that, knowing that I would have all of this," he paused and patted my bump. "I put you through the worst emotional pain a person can feel. I love you too much, kone, a selfish love that wants you here with me, even if you would be happier with your family."

I let his words soak into my soul for a while and simply breathed. Finally I spoke. "I would not be happier with my family. I am sorry, again, for acting like I would be, but it's not true. I love this land, I love the people, and I love you and this baby." I grabbed his hand which caressed my belly and trailed my finger over the back of it, enjoying the tickle of light blond hairs under the sensitive tip. "Let it comfort you, husband, that if I left right now to go back to my family, I would be most unhappy and spend most of my time longing to have your arms around me again."

A warm silence dropped between us, but did not separate us. The link of our echoed breathing kept us close to each other's bodies and the worries of life faded away and there was just the two of us. Well actually, the three of us.

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It was two weeks later that I was at the river washing clothes when Alanna came running into the clearing. Alanna and I had grown almost as close as sisters over the last few months, and she settled into Norse life with an ease that almost made me jealous.

"Eachna! The chieftain, he is very ill! Groa needs you!" Alanna called before running away once again. Feeling my heartbeat pick up speed, I pushed myself to my feet and groaned, my back aching. Moving as fast as I could, I headed for the village.

I reached our longhouse and Groa met me in the doorway. Her face was streaked with tears and her eyes held more panic than I'd ever seen there before.

"Oh thank God that you're here. Please, take the children," she said and the little ones clung to my dress.

"What is happening?" I asked, reaching out to take her hand. Her eyes filled with tears.

"It's Bork. His heart is failing," she whispered and slipped back into the dark house. I heard Bork's moans and heard Asvald's voice as he comforted his father.

Taking Ulf and Thord's hands, I led them toward the ocean. "Kom igjen, små." I said, telling them to come. Ulf and Thord splashed in the foamy surf, laughing and splashing one another. Inga sat beside me in the sand, her face in her hands. Sibbi was standing with his feet in the water, staring grimly out over the clear blue ocean.

"He's going to die, is he not?" She asked in Norse, looking up at me with sad green eyes.

"I do not know, little one," I said. She just sighed and shook her head.

My baby kicked and rolled inside me and I reached out to take the girl's hand, placing it on my belly. "He is kicking. Can you feel it?"

Her eyes widened and for a moment she seemed to forget that her father was dying. "Yes! Doesn't that hurt?"

I shook my head with a smile. "No, it does not hurt. It reminds me that I am growing a little person."

She smoothed both hands over my bump, watching intently. "It is amazing, yes?"

I stroked her hair and kissed the top of her head. "Yes it is."

A short time later, Asvald came walking slowly to the beach, trying hard to hold in the tears. I got to my feet, ready to receive him. Instead of coming to me, he went to Ulf and lifted him to his hip, and placed his hand on Thord's head. They gazed up at him, wanting their questions answered. Inga and Sibbi went to his side, both of them crying. Inga wrapped her arms around his waist and cried into his shirt.

My eyes filled with tears as I watched Asvald comfort his brothers and sisters. He would make an excellent father. My hand drifted to my belly and I rubbed, feeling the baby's foot through my skin.

Asvald put space between him and the children, and came to stand in front of me.
"I am Chieftain now."

I looked at him, my lips turning down as tears rolled down my cheeks. "I am sorry, husband."

He leaned down to kiss me, then turned to wander off into the forest. I sighed and gathered the children to bring them back to Groa's home

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It was late and Asvald had not returned home yet so I spent the evening talking with Alanna and preparing for the baby, who was due to be born in around two months.
Alanna, Groa, and I were already in our beds when Asvald finally returned. He came into the longhouse looking mournful and heartbroken. I reached out for him like I would a child and he came to me, burying his face in my shoulder.

"He's gone, Eachna. He's gone," he mumbled into my shoulder, feeling the wetness of his tears on my skin. Was my husband, the all-powerful Norseman, crying?

"All is well, my love. You will be fine," I whispered. With a sigh of anguish, he pulled back and kissed me fiercely, as if trying to force his pain away. I wrapped my arms around him and held him close. He took my lower lip between his teeth, his tears wetting my cheeks, his hands gripping me tightly to the point of pain. I pulled away, for he was hurting me in his grief. Once again he cuddled into my shoulder, fisting his hands in my dress to keep me close.

"Easy, love," I murmured and stroked his hair as he wept. Finally, he took a few shuttering breaths and looked up at me with bloodshot eyes.

"My father is gone...I am the chieftain," he said, his voice scratchy from crying.

"I know." I looked him in the eye and smiled. "You will be a kind, loving, and respected leader."

Sighing, he buried his nose in my hair and breathed in my scent. "I love you, minn fagr kone."

{}{}{}

It was only a matter of weeks before Asvald adjusted to being the leader of a large group of people. He also became the owner of eighteen farms. Not only was he carrying that responsibility around, but he was also about to become a father. My belly seemed huge and I was most thankful that Asvald did not see me unclothed very often.

On one chilly evening, Asvald and I sat by the cliff and watched the gray ocean roll gently against the shore.

"Asvald, I want to teach our baby of my God. I do not want him to grow up believing in your heathen gods," I said while twisting a blade of grass between my fingers.

"Are you worried for his soul?" Asvald asked, giving me a crooked smile.

"If the child grows to believe what you believe, then aye, I would be concerned for his soul. Also, we do not know if it will be a son. My heart is telling me it's a girl," I said, grinning back at him.

"Alright. I care not what gods he believes in," Asvald said and picked up a smooth stone and threw it as far as he could out into the frothy water.

"Also, you will never strike our child. Promise me," I said, my smile vanishing as I stared into his eyes.

"You may do the disciplining of a daughter. If it is a son, as I know it will be, I will discipline him as I see fit," Asvald said firmly, looking at me from the corner of his eye.

I sighed but nodded. "Fair enough. As long as you never truly hurt him." I paused for a moment and placed my hand over Asvald's. "If it does turn out to be a son, I do not want him to go on raids when he becomes a man. I want him to be honorable."

Asvald's eyes flashed angrily to mine. "He will be a Norseman and the son of a chieftain. He will go on raids and he will conquer many lands."

My eyes filled with tears. "No. The child is not only of Norse blood. The child is Irish as well. Just like you are part English."

Asvald growled. "Do not ever mention that I have English blood ever again. Do you hear me?"

"Are you ashamed of your mother? My God, Asvald, she gave your life to you and yet you resent her bloodline?" I ripped up a handful of grass in my agitation and started shredding the blades.

"Enough!" He bellowed and it echoed through the still air. I ducked my head and shut my mouth, but still boiling with anger. Tears rolled down my cheeks, much to my shame.

After a short moment, I looked up at him. "Damn you, Asvald! This child is mine, and you know that. Mine. Inside me, needing me for life. I will decide what to teach him and how to teach him."

"Ah, he may be safe inside you now, but once he is born, he is at the mercy of my hands. I can decide if he lives or dies. If I choose not to acknowledge him, you will have to abandon him. Anyone could kill him and it would not be murder," Asvald threatened with fury in his eyes.

Though my heart was pounding, I would not let him intimidate me. "You jest. You would never kill your own child."

He shrugged and gave me a look that said, Want to test me?

I slowly got to my feet and waddled back into the house. Alanna was sitting by the fire, her chin in her hands. Her eyes met mine as I walked in.

"Are you well, Eachna?" she asked, frowning at me with concern.

I nodded, though I was fighting tears. "I am well." I sat beside her and rested my head on her shoulder. She wrapped her arm around me and rubbed my arm.

"What did he do?" She whispered and watched the doorway. We both got uneasy when Asvald's temper was evoked.

"He threatened to kill our baby once it's born. He has the power to do so," I murmured, trying to keep my anger at bay.

Alanna rolled her eyes and shook her head. "That man is a piece of-" she paused and glanced at the little ones in the room. Thord stared back at her for a moment before flashing her a smile. Alanna sighed loudly and looked back at me. "We all know he has temper and of course he didn't mean it."

Nodding, I pressed my palm to my stomach and took a few deep breaths. "He loves me and the child."

Later that day when Asvald came in for the evening meal, I asked him if he was serious about killing our child.

He chuckled and pulled me into his arms, kissing the top of my head. "I was just angry, my beautiful one. I did not mean anything I said. Will you forgive me?"

I sighed and nodded, used to Asvald and his moods. "I suppose. You really must work on keeping control of yourself, Asvald." The man had serious problems control his tongue, along with his temper. But then again, so did I.

He laughed. "Aye, it seems I have no self-control at all."

"It's not a jest, Asvald. You need to get it under control." I folded my arms over my chest and stared sternly up at him.

He tried hard not to smile. "Yes, dear." He kissed my forehead. "I still say it's a boy."

I lowered my head, biting my lip. "If you want him to raid, that's fine. It's your- our – culture, so if that is what you want, I will not stand in your way." The words were difficult to say, but it was time that I accepted his way of life.

Leaning down, he kissed my cheek and patted my belly. "My sweet wife. Thank you."

…

Later that evening, Asvald and I lay in bed with a good amount of space between us. I was still angry with him, even though he said he didn't mean anything he said about killing the baby.

Asvald knew I was upset, and kept glancing at me and sighing. Finally he said,

"I did not say I would kill our child, I said that I could if I wanted to."

I pressed my lips together and looked at him from narrowed eyes. "Why would it matter anyway? Why do you always have to hold your power over me?"

He chuckled. "Because you're always testing it." He rolled to face me and put an arm over my waist, tugging me toward him. "You may be Irish, but you have turned into quite a Norsewoman."

I cuddled next to him, but stayed silent, still unsure about my feelings. Our child kicked inside me, and poked an elbow into my rib. I laid my hand over the spot where a little foot showed through my skin and poked the baby back.

Asvald was watching me play with our unborn child, a smile resting on his lips.

"I love you both so much," he murmured, and pressed his fingertips into my belly where the baby last kicked, and a moment later, the baby kicked back.

I giggled and lifted my face toward Asvald, who placed a sweet kiss on my lips. "You make me angry sometimes and you speak without thinking, but I love you."

Asvald kissed me again and smoothed my hair with his hands. He knows I love it when he touches my hair. I sighed and leaned into his touch.

"Have you been missing your family?" Asvald asked softly, still stroking my hair.

I rested my head against his chest and closed my eyes, breathing in his scent. "No, not too much," I whispered. It was true, my family was starting to fade away as my future with Asvald and my child got brighter.

"That's good," he said and kissed my forehead.

I looked up at him and grinned. "You're in a loving mood tonight."

"Mmm, I want to hold you," he whispered and wrapped his arms around me. Asvald didn't usually like to cuddle.

"Asvald..." I whispered and trailed my fingers over his chest and over his stomach muscles. "I am glad that I came to be here."

Asvald rolled so I was under him, though he was careful not to put any of his weight on my belly. He looked down into my eyes, smiling. "You're happy," he said.

I nodded. "Aye, very."

He moved off me and I turned my back to him. He moved up behind me, the whole length of the front of his body touching the back of me. He draped an arm over my waist, keeping one hand on my belly. I closed my eyes and soaked in the warmth of his body, for the nights were getting quite cold. He nuzzled into my neck, placing soft kisses there. I was loving all the affection.

As we fell asleep together, I wondered how I could have ever slept alone.