Chapter Thirteen

While I waited for the time Asvald and I could be intimate again, I tried to think of ways to keep myself busy. I decided to help Edna, a girl who had been one of my friends in Ireland, who was captured in the raid with me. I had seen her around the village, tending to her work as a thrall. Each time I saw her, she seemed weaker and more pale, looking like a skeleton with skin stretched over it. She was a bed thrall, and her master was not a kind fellow. I decided that I would help her either find a new master or earn her freedom.

I waited for her by the docks, where she went every few days to buy fish for her master. She had a basket under her arm, and her face was thin and weary, her blond hair dirty and mangled. Taking a deep breath, I stepped out into her way, blocking her.

"Hello, Edna," I said and offered her a smile.

Her eyes looked hollow, and I wondered if she remembered who I was. "Hello." Her voice sounded just as hollow as her eyes looked.

"Are you well?" I asked, frowning. It was a stupid question, since obviously she wasn't well at all.

Her bony shoulders rose and fell as she sighed. "I am a thrall." As if that defined her well-being. Perhaps it did. I could recall being Jabez's slave and the sting of his belt.

Sorrow for her made my chest hurt. "I can help you."

Hopelessness made her face shadowed and weary, and her voice was barely a whisper as she spoke. "It is too late for me, Eachna. My heart has stopped. I am cold as stone."

I shook my head and took her hand. "No, I don't believe that. I will ask Asvald to buy you and you may stay with us, until we give you your freedom."

A flicker of excitement showed in her eyes then disappeared. "I can ask noting from you. You should not even be speaking to me."

I chuckled. "Oh hush. We've been friends for a long time."

Her eyes narrowed. "Why have you not spoken to me in so long if we are such good friends?"

The betrayal I saw there in her expression burned me deeply and guilt stung me. "I have had my own trials to handle."

"Oh yes, that's right. Making love to your husband and having his child. How could I forget?" Her tone was bitter and sharp.

"I am trying to help you," I said quietly, keeping calm despite her angry words.

She sighed and hung her head. "I know. And thank you. I will accept whatever help you can give me." She glanced over her shoulder at someone and said, "I have to go now." She darted away before I could say another word.

Sighing, I turned and faced the ocean, looking past the fishing boats and longships that blocked my view. My thoughts turned to Ireland, and how I wished I could see my family again soon.

"Eachna, get out of the way," I heard Asvald's voice and saw that he was standing in front of me, holding one end of a net that was filled with flopping fish. Another man held onto the other side.

I covered my nose and stepped out of the way. "Asvald, when you have a moment, I need to speak with you."

He looked over his shoulder at me. "I am busy now, wife. I will speak with you later." He continued his work and I stood watching. His broad shoulders flexed as he worked, the muscles in his back bunching and releasing. My God, he was handsome. Mmm, I couldn't wait to get him back in my arms and between my thighs.

I blushed at my thoughts and quickly left the docks. I returned home, where I had left Toki in Groa's care.

When I entered, I saw Groa rocking Toki gently in her arms, singing a Norse lullaby. Toki was fussy and squirming in her arms, his little face red and wrinkled. I smiled and went to them, holding out my arms for my baby.

"Thank you for watching him, Groa," I said as she placed in him my arms. I sat down beside her.

She smiled and touched her fingertips to the thick, fuzzy patch of light blond hair on Toki's head. "Oh, it was a pleasure. He's such a handsome boy, Eachna."

"He is," I cooed, and unbuttoned my dress so I could nurse him. Usually I wouldn't want to do that in front of anyone but Asvald, but Groa was there when I gave birth and it seemed silly to be shy around her now. Toki latched on and calmed, his little fists tucked under his chin as he nursed. His eyes stayed locked on mine, and my chest tightened at this beautiful bonding experience.

"How are you feeling, Eachna?" Groa asked as she went to her loom, settling down on the bench. Her back faced me and I was grateful for the privacy.

I smiled ruefully. "I've felt better. I am so tired from waking up in the night every few hours to feed him. I've been grumpy from lack of sleep and that is affecting Asvald."

"He's quite accustomed to it, actually. When he was a bit younger and still a boy living here at home, he would help me with the newborn babies. Ulf is nearly four years old now, but when he was newly born, Asvald helped me care for him."

I nodded and grinned down at Toki. "That certainly makes sense. He's quite good with Toki."

"I'm glad he is being a good father. Didn't I tell you two years ago that Asvald is a good man?" Groa laughed and I laughed with her.

"Aye, you did. Maybe if I had listened to you, I might have saved myself a bit of trouble," I said and laughed. I always had trouble listening to people older and wiser than myself.

Groa chuckled but didn't say anything. I finished nursing Toki, and was ready to return to my house. I went to Groa and kissed her cheek and said goodbye.

Once back in my own longhouse, I laid Toki down for his nap and began to think about how I could help Edna. Maybe I could convince Asvald to buy her, and then we could grant her freedom. That seemed like the best plan.

Asvald returned home a short time later, looking tired from working on the docks.

"I need to talk to you about something important, Asvald," I said as I helped him out of his cloak.

"What is it, love?" He asked and wrapped his arm around my waist. My God, I loved the feel of him near me.

"One of my friends who was captured with me is a bed thrall. Her master is unkind and treats her poorly. I want you to buy her from him so we can free her," I said pleadingly, praying he would agree.

Asvald grabbed my arm. "Listen Eachna. Your friend belongs to her master and I will not take her away from him simply to give her freedom. If I gave every Irish captive in this village freedom, we wouldn't have hardly any thralls. No, I can't do that."

My heart sunk. I wished he would do this for me. "Well, I will do everything I can to help her."

"No, you won't. I want you to stay away from her. Don't go starting trouble with another man's woman," he said and let go of my arm.

I pouted, but didn't try to argue with him. I would help my friend, whether he told me to or not.

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That night we cuddled close together, simply nuzzling and kissing playfully, not passionately.

As we cuddled and kissed, Asvald's hand brushed my side and I let out a squeal, then quickly covered my mouth with my hand. Damn it.

Asvald's mouth tipped up in a smirk. "What's this? Are you ticklish?"

I shook my head no, but that was a lie. I was very ticklish. I was surprised he had not found that out until just now.

He wiggled his fingers against my side and I howled with laughter, kicking him in the belly. He groaned, then laughed with me.

The baby ruined our fun by choosing that moment to start crying. We had woken him up. I started to rise to go to him, but Asvald got up first and lifted Toki to his shoulder, rubbing his little back while making soothing sounds at him.

"Hush, little man. I've got you. It's time to sleep now, yes it is," he murmured to our baby, whose eyes were starting to close. I remembered how Asvald acted when I first arrived here, angry and mean. It amazed me to watch him be so tender with our child.

Asvald kissed Toki's little neck softly and laid him down once again, then slipped under the blankets to my side once again.

"Alright, I won't tickle you because of the baby," he whispered and kissed my cheek.

"I think that's wise," I whispered back and let my hand wander down his belly. "I'll use my mouth on you if you let me help my friend."

Asvald stopped my hand. "That won't work on me, missy."

"Why can't I help her?" I asked, once again trying to plead with him. I would do anything to help Edna.

"I already told you," Asvald scolded gently. "Let it be, Eachna."

"She's my friend. I can't just let her suffer. Don't you understand?" I sat up and glared down at him.

"Keep your voice down, you'll wake up the baby. And aye, I do understand, but I'm telling you no." Asvald pulled me back down to his side. I turned my back on him and tried to get some sleep.

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The next morning I woke up tired because I had to get up many times in the night to feed Toki, though I forced myself to get up and finish this business of helping Edna. I gathered up a gold necklace Asvald had given me, a small dagger that belonged to Asvald, and one of my nice combs, and a few gold and silver coins. I wrapped the things up in some rich cloth and started out the door.

"Where are you going?" Alanna asked as she followed me out the door. She walked backwards while facing me, her eyes sparkling with challenge.

I rolled my eyes but couldn't help smiling at her. "I'm going to help a friend."

"Eachna!" Alanna gasped and grabbed my shoulders. We came to a stop and she shook my shoulders. "Asvald told you not to! You should listen to him or he'll lose that temper of his again. It's not a good idea."

I shook her off and kept walking. As much as I loved Alanna, she was bossy as hell. "Asvald can go drown in the river," I grumbled and squeezed the bundle of goods in my hand, hoping it would be enough to purchase my friend. Toki rested in the crook of my other arm, fast asleep despite Alanna's shouting.

She shook her head and grinned at me. "Sometimes you are so thick-sculled. If he beats you arse raw, don't come complaining to me." She flapped her hand at me as if dismissing me and marched back toward our longhouse.

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Once I reached the right longhouse, I ducked inside. Edna's master sat by the fire, while Edna fixed his breakfast. It seemed like she had a fresh bruise across her cheek and a small bite mark on her neck. Pity for her overwhelmed me.

"Ah, it's the chieftain's wife," Edna's master addressed me with a cheerful smile. With rotten teeth and a balding head and a round girth, he reminded me of a small whale. Poor Edna. "What can I do for ye, mistress?"

I forced a smile and came toward him. "I would like to buy your thrall, Edna. I have payment," I said and placed the bundle of goods in his hands.

"What ye be needing her for?" He asked, opening the package.

I struggled to think of something to say. "With the new baby, I need help in my home."

"Mmm." He picked up the dagger and tested it in his hand. "Why do ye want her? She's a tiny thing. Can't handle much work."

"I won't be needing someone who can handle a heavy load. She will do just fine," I said calmly, hoping he would let me have Edna.

He held up the necklace and let it sparkle in the firelight. "The problem is, she is carrying my child. Otherwise, I'd let you have her without payment. You are the lady of the village, after all."

"That isn't a problem. We'll take care of the baby. Unless you want to keep the girl and have another mouth to feed," I said and plucked the necklace out of his hand.

"No, you can have her," he said and took the necklace back, placing it beside the dagger.

I took Edna by the arm and led her back to my house, glancing about to make sure Asvald didn't see us. I would rather wait to face his wrath for another few hours.

I got her settled on a soft bed of furs and brought her some meat and cheese and bread. While she ate, I asked,

"Are you really with child?"

She shook her head and swallowed her mouthful of food. "No. I told him that in hopes that it would save me from the back of his hand. Among other things," she murmured.

I patted her knee gently. "I'm sorry, friend. Your life will be better now."

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I left her and Toki in the care of Alanna while I went down to the river to wash some clothes.

My back was aching by the time I was almost finished, and I gave a sigh of relief when the last shirt was clean. Just as I was about to spread the wet clothes over some bushes to dry, I heard someone bellow,

"Eachna!"

I winced and turned to see Asvald storming toward me. He came to a stop in front of me, his fists on his hips, his eyes dark and angry, a deep frown wrinkled his brow.

"Why is there a thrall in my house? An Irish thrall?"

I swallowed and tried to smile. "Uh, she's my, um, friend, and I uh thought that um, we could use some help around the house, and um..."

"You disobeyed me!" He shouted, and I fought the urge to cower away from him. I said nothing and hung my head, wanting to burst into tears. Asvald showed no mercy and grabbed my arm, dragging me through the village and up the hill to our longhouse.

Alanna saw Asvald's angry and smirked at me, shaking her head. I told you so,she mouthed to me and grinned.

I stuck my tongue out at her, which earned a shake from Asvald to recapture my attention. He pointed to Edna. "How did she get here?"

"I paid for her," I mumbled, wincing at his tight grip on my arm. He would leave bruises.

"With what?" He asked, still angry and his chest heaved. I had not seen him this furious in a long time.

Even Groa looked a little shook up. Thankfully, the children weren't home, probably out playing with the other children.

"Just some things that were lying around," I answered, trying to skirt around the question.

"What. Did. You. Pay. With?" He asked slowly, his grip on my arm tightening.

"Ow," I muttered. "I paid him with your dagger and a necklace you have me, a comb, and some coins. Alright? Now let me go!" I jerked against his grip, feeling humiliated in front of his mother and my friends. Alanna acted like she wasn't paying attention as she held wee Toki in her arms, but the slight smile on her lips gave away her lie. Edna watched with wide-eyes, her arms curled around her knees which were drawn up to her chest.

He released my arm and gave me a little shove. It had been a long time since he had been this rough with me. But then again, I kind of provoked it this time.

"So you stole from me as well? When are you going to learn, woman?" He ran his fingers through his hair and took a deep breath. "Your friend is going back to her master and you," he pointed at me, "will be taught a lesson."

My heart started pounding, but I put my fists on my cocked hips. "What are you going to do? Whip me?"

My face flushed when Alanna covered her mouth with her hand to hold in a giggle. I whirled towards her, ready to give her a piece of my mind, but Asvald turned me roughly back towards him.

He leveled his gaze on me and raised an eyebrow. "I might." He was being serious. He went to Edna and pulled her to her feet. As they headed for the door, I growled at Asvald, "Damn you and your fucking temper. And your fucking pride!" I hardly ever swore so fiercely, but I felt this was a special occasion. Groa gasped at my filthy language.

Asvald threw a glare at me over his shoulder, then they were gone. I turned and took Toki in my arms, and rushed into my bedroom, slamming the door behind me. Shaking with aftershocks of strong emotion, I went to the bed and lay down, settling Toki between my breasts, lying on his little belly, his cheek pressed to my skin.

My mind flashed back to when I was first brought here. How afraid I was and how Asvald had treated me. I felt the same why now that I had felt back then. Why did I love this man? He stole me from my home and my family, and had treated me so badly at first.

Toki whimpered in his sleep and I looked down at him, feeling a small bit of pain melting in my heart. One reason I loved Asvald was because we had a child together. But was that good enough? Had I only fallen in love with Asvald because I had no other choice?

My thoughts were interrupted when Asvald returned, looking as angry as he had when he left. Standing in the doorway of our bedroom, he glared at me. "Put Toki down, Eachna, and come here."

My legs shook as I got up from the bed and lay Toki down again and went to Asvald, my stomach turning. Please don't hurt me, please don't hurt me.

He took my arm and led me to the bed, and made me lay down on my belly, lifting my dress up to my knees. Oh God. I wasn't about to beg him to stop.

"Don't you dare, Asvald," I hissed as he removed his belt. My heart beat so hard I could feel it in my head. Memories of Jabez's beatings came back to me and I cried out loudly in fear, which woke Toki, who started screaming in his cradle.

"You disobeyed me," Asvald said, his voice deadly quiet. His folding his belt and slapped it against his thigh in warning. The cracking of the leather made me squeeze my eyes shut as I felt true terror grip me.

"I'm not a dog who didn't come when you called," I snapped, grinding my teeth together as I braced for the first strike.

"If you continue arguing with me, I'll strike you twice as many times," he threatened.

I tried to jump up to run away but he caught me in a second and pushed me back down.

"Lie still," he growled.

"Asvald, how can you beat me after that Jabez did to me?" I cried, my whole body flushed in anger. "I still have the scars!"

He pressed his other hand into my lower back, pinning me down. "You need to be punished for your blatant disobedience. But I will not use the belt." He tossed it away. "I will strike you with my hands, though."

I sighed with relief. That wouldn't be so bad. He sometimes smacked my arse during passionate and rough lovemaking, and it never caused me much pain.

"Would you still learn your lesson?" He leaned down so his low voice was right next to my ear

I nodded rapidly. "Aye, whatever." Toki was still crying, and I wished the beating to be quickly over so I could get to him.

"Don't use that tone with me," he warned, then lifted my dress to reveal my backside. He brought one hand down and slapped me hard. It stung, but instead of letting out a cry of pain, I began to giggle. I buried my face in a blanket to try and hide it. He slapped me again and I felt my arse jiggle, and this time I laughed aloud.

"What is so funny?" He asked, highly frustrated. His evil plan wasn't working.

"Me arse is jiggling," I said and laughed again.

"I'll use the belt if you don't stop laughing," he threatened, but it seemed forced. I laughed harder and pressed my hands to my belly, gasping for air.

"Shut up, Asvald. You could never beat me," I said between gasps and giggles.

"I just did!" He cried, though his anger was gone and I could tell he was trying not to smile.

I got up from the bed, still laughing and shaking my head as I lifted Toki to my shoulder, rubbing his back and bouncing a little. He quieted and drooled on my dress.

I turned and faced Asvald again, my anger returning. I no longer felt like laughing. "You took my friend to the slaughter."

He sighed and dragged a hand down his face and over his beard. "Eachna, let it go."

"I cannot. Isn't there something you will do for her?" I asked, pleading with eyes.

Again he sighed and leaned down to touch his forehead to mine. "Damn it, Eachna. I am the chieftain. I have to be fair to everyone in my village, including all of the thralls. I can't free one for no real reason and not free the others."

"No real reason?" I repeated, feeling a pain in my heart. "It's my wish, and that not a real reason?"

He moved back, looking less than pleased. "You are not in my place and you do not understand. I have a responsibility."

"Aye, to me. I am your wife. I just had our baby!" I gestured with my head to Toki, who clutched my braid in his hands and sucked on the end of it.

Asvald jumped to his feet and threw up his hands. "I can't, Eachna! I can't do what you want me to do."

"Her life is horrid life is horrid and you do not even care," I murmured lowly, settled onto the bed.

Asvald came toward me and placed his hands on my arms. "Come now, love. There is nothing you can do."

I pushed him away from me with my free hand and strode out of the bedroom, and out of the longhouse, ignoring the curious glances of Groa and Alanna. They must have heard every single word of our conversation. The evening air cooled my anger, but my heart still ached. The sun was sinking low into the ocean, trying it gold and pink.

My stomach was in a knot and I didn't know where to go. As my mind wandered, I let my feet carry me until I reached Halla's longhouse. She was awake, sitting by her fire. I saw her husband behind her, mending a fishing net.

"Halla," I said softly, standing in the doorway. Tears were streaming down my face.

She looked up and quickly came to me, taking my hands in hers. "What's wrong, Eachna?"

"Would you take a walk with me?" My voice trembled and I bit down on my lip to hold in my tears. Toki still rested on my shoulder, his blue eyes wide as he watched the world around him. Halla's husband came forward and reached for the child. I allowed him to take the babe, and he cradled him against his chest.

Halla nodded and wrapped her arm around my shoulders. We walked to the river, our favorite place.

"Do you want to tell me what happened?" She asked softly. Her blond hair glowed in the moonlight, her round face flushed. Groa's offspring all shared a natural beauty that sometimes took my breath away.

I went on to tell her about my friend and my plan to help her, and how it all went wrong.

"Hmm. You did disobey him, Eachna. But he acted rashly when he returned your friend to her master," she said, rubbing my back gently.

My chest tightened and more tears fell down my cheeks. "I just want my friend to be happy and safe."

"I know, Eachna. I'm so sorry," Halla whispered. "But he loves you and he tries to make the right choices. He couldn't strike you with his belt, because he loves you and doesn't want to harm you. You giggled when he tried to smack your ass, so he must not have caused pain."

Thunder rumbled in the distance, and I could smell the rain coming.

I shook my head and folded my arms over my chest. "I want to go home, Halla. I want to take Toki home so I can see my family again. I am so sick of Asvald and his temper. I forgave him for how cruel he was when I first came here and for nearly forcing me in bed with him. I forgave him over and over again. But I can't do it anymore." My legs were weak and I moved to sit on a large rock alongside the river, which looking like a roaring flow of black ink, instead of water.

Halla followed me, but didn't sit. She wrapped her arms around me. "I know you have forgiven him many times, and it is hard. But you are not perfect, either, and he has forgiven you for things, too. After all, that is how every relationship works. We have to keep forgiving and keep loving, otherwise we wouldn't have a single person to stand beside us."

She was right. I pressed my cheek against her belly, starting to sob.

By the time my tears ran out, a light rain was falling and I was starting to shiver.

"Do you want to go back to Asvald? I'm sure he is calm now," she said, stroking my damp hair.

My eyes were sore from crying and I was cold, but I didn't want to move. I cuddled closer to her. "Everything will be alright, won't it?"

"You know it will," she murmured back, then pulled me to my feet. "I'm done comforting you. It's time you went to Asvald. If we stay out any longer, we'll both fall ill."

We walked back to her home and retrieved Toki, then she walked me back to my longhouse and gave me a kiss on the cheek.

My stomach was in a knot again as I walked slowly into the longhouse. Groa glanced at me with pity at my soaked and miserable appearance. Alanna just flashed her sassy smile at me and tilted her head toward Asvald. He was kneeling, starting a fire. He saw me and got to his feet, wiping his hands on the front of his pants. He opened his mouth to talk.

I held up my hand. "Don't speak, Asvald." Sighing, I walked into the bedroom and to Toki's cradle, lying him down. He was fast asleep, his fist tucked up under his chin. He was beautiful.

Asvald came up behind me and wrapped his arms around me. "You're cold, love. And wet. You need to take off that dress."

My cheeks heated, but I didn't try to wiggle away. His warmth flowed into me, the gentle pressure of his body against my back.

"Would you let me help you or would that make everything worse?" He asked, his voice a gentle whisper in my ear. It had an effect on me that I didn't want to recognize.

My eyes dropped to my feet and I wanted to cry but all my tears were gone. "Asvald..."

"Look, Eachna, I'm sorry for taking your friend back. I swear, I'll find some way to help her. I will free her and find her a husband, and if anyone dares to question me, I will tell them it was a favor and gift to you. I will make it right, I promise." He placed a kiss on my neck.

I sighed. "I'm sorry for disobeying your wishes. And thank you."

He turned me around and lifted my chin with his finger. "The gods have blessed me with such an understanding wife."

I blushed from his praise. "Aye, well...flattery will get you anywhere."

He chuckled and patted my arse. "Does this hurt? Did I hit you too hard?"

I shook my head and giggled. "No. If I hadn't been so angry it would have been even more amusing."

"Well, I'm glad I didn't hurt you," he whispered and kissed my cheek. "Seems like even when I'm angry, I can't hurt you. You have tamed the mighty beast." He puffed out his chest, making me laugh.

I stood on my tiptoes and kissed him softly, though I was still questioning my love for him.

Asvald pulled away and cupped my face in his hands. "You are holding something back from me, I can feel it. Tell me what's wrong."

Tears filled my eyes and I glanced away. "I want to see my mother. When I was a younger girl and imagined what it would be like to bring a child into the world, I pictured my mother being by my side for each step of the way. Now I cannot have that and quite honestly, I mourn that. I want to go home."

Now Asvald's whole faced looked pained. "I cannot allow that, Eachna. Your place is here."

I covered my face with my hands, homesickness becoming a stabbing pain in my heart. I felt physically ill. "I need them, Asvald. I need them so much."

His hands caressed my sides but did little to comfort me. "I know you do, sweet one. But you are here now," he said and looked into my eyes. "Do not forget who I am. You cause trouble for yourself when you start forgetting that I am a Norseman and a Chieftain."

Moving slowly, I pulled off my wet dress and went to the bed and lay down. I covered my eyes with my hands once again to attempt to hold back my tears. "When will I ever be happy?"

Asvald followed me to the bed, and got in beside me. "Forget about your family back in Ireland. I am here and I will love you forever, and I will be your happiness, if you'll let me." His arm wrapped around my waist, bringing me close up against him. Sincerity showed in his face, but still I felt like my heart was breaking for the hundredth time.

My chest trembled with my held-in sobs. "If you loved me, you would allow me to see my family again."

He sighed and pressed his cheek to the top of my head. "And if you loved me, you wouldn't even say that. But I know about your pain, Eachna. And I know that no matter how much time passes, it will always be there. My mother suffered the same fate as you, and she still carries the pain of it in her heart."

I sniffed back some tears, letting out a high-pitched whine as a sob escaped from me.

Asvald pulled me over to face him, and his warm fingers wiped away my tears. "The reason I am not allowing you to return to your family is because I cannot risk losing you. Yes, I know that is selfish but it would kill me to lose you."

My tears slowed and I was able to breathe again. His words did make sense to me. If I returned to Ireland, I didn't know if I would have the strength to return to Norway with Asvald. "Hold me," I whispered and Asvald pulled me closer, kissed the tears off my cheeks before bringing his lips to mine.