Chapter Seventeen
The startled faces of the men started back at me, shock playing on their features as my words sunk in. I knew these men; many of them had watched me grow up. They wanted to protect me, and I did not blame them for it.
"We cannot allow you to do that, lass," one man spoke, a farmer who didn't live far from my family's farm.
"Please," I murmured, my voice breaking. Desperation clawed at my heart as my stomach clenched into a thousand knots. Losing Asvald was not something I could survive. The loss of my baby nearly killed my spirit, and losing my husband would put me in the grave. "He is the father of my child."
The men glanced around at each other in confusion, and their grips on their weapons slackened slightly. Finally one of the men spoke. "What child, Eachna?"
The fist that squeezed my heart tightened its grip and I had to take several deep breaths before being able to speak. "There was a baby, born to me in Norway." Tears eased down my cheeks, a gentle rain I wished my husband could soothe.
Asvald stirred in my embrace, his lips pressed to my ear. "Is. There is a baby. Toki is alive, my love."
My eyes widened and my heart lifted. Everyone around us melted away and the joy I felt conquered my fear. A sob escaped me as I clung to him even more tightly. Our child was alive! The maternal instinct to find him and return to him grew, and I wished I could ran across the ocean and snatch my child up into my arms.
But first, I had to get Asvald out from under the villagers' weapons.
{}
They dragged Asvald out of the small hut, headed toward the center of the village. I trailed behind, my head swirling with anxiety. What could I do?
The shock of the sudden changes left me feeling like I needed to sit and breathe and let everything wash over me.
People began to gather as the commotion grew, curiosity and fear on their faces when they saw the large blond Norseman among them. Soon it appeared that every villager and farmer was gathered around my kneeling husband. Blood rushed in my ears as my mind raced. Would they kill him? Or perhaps they would beat him and let us leave? I knew the latter was unlikely and my breath escaped quickly, leaving a feeling in my stomach similar to being hit. The crowd thickened and pushed me back, to the point where I could hardly even see Asvald anymore.
But I did notice when my father wormed his way through until he reached my kneeling husband, and stood there glaring at him with those piecing blue eyes that frightened me as a child. I used my elbows to shove my way back to the front of the crowd, ready to stop my father if need be.
He drew a knife from his belt and the crowd cheered, causing my heart to skip a beat in fear.
"Kill 'im!" They roared and pumped their fists, each one of them hoping for a show. "Kill the murderer!"
"Rapist!" Others shouted, and my anger arose. I could not stand by and witness such foolishness from my own people. Springing forward before someone could pull me back, I put one hand on Asvald's shoulder, and the other on my father's arm.
"Stop it now, you foolish men!" I cried, my chest heaving as the outburst silenced the crowd. My father's eyes burned holes into me, but I refused to shrink under their familiar cruelty. "This is my husband and you will not kill him!" Heart pounding, I knelt down beside Asvald, where I noticed two fist sized bags of coins hung. I grabbed them and faced my father again, knocking the blade out of his hand with a quick strike. He opened his mouth to protest, then I placed the bags in his hands. Asvald slowly rose to his feet, and looked down into my father's eyes. "Payment," he said softly in Irish. "For your daughter and her love." He glanced at me and smiled reassuringly, and turned his attention back to my father.
My father opened the backs and shifted through the coins. I held my breath. Take them, and let us leave. Finally he nodded at Asvald. "I accept your payment. Now get out of here and never show your face here again."
Asvald nodded and took my hand, his fingers intertwined with mine. The contact of his skin and the brush of his thumb over mine sent my stomach leaping and my heart racing. Oh how I'd missed him.
"Please, my lord, let us return to your home and allow my wife to bid her mother and sister farewell." Asvald spoke with the most respectful tone I had ever heard him use.
Again my father nodded and the crowd dispersed once they realized that there would not be a fight or bloodshed.
The three of us walked awkwardly back to my family's farm, my hand still in Asvald's clasp. He kept looking at me in the special way of lovers, and I couldn't wait to share a bed with him once again. It had been months since he touched my body.
We reached the house, and when we entered, something shifted in Asvald's demeanor. His back tightened and he shifted, and his jaw tightened. Oh no.
Before I could stop him, a roar of rage burst from Asvald and he grabbed my father by the shirt front and tackled him to the floor.
My mother cried out and looked to me. I shook my head and motioned for her to stay back. "He is my husband."
My mother's face softened and she slowly moved to my side, Kalin following her. Perhaps we had all been waiting for this moment for years. My mother's hand slipped into mine.
Asvald's upper lip curled like a snarling dog as he leaned over my father, who looked utterly terrified. "You abused my wife, you son of a bitch. How could you do that to your own daughter?"
"I never touched her," my father spat and tried to shake Asvald off of him. Of course, Asvald was twice his size and he didn't budge.
"You scarred her heart and broke her spirit. Thank the gods she is as strong as an ocean storm, or she would have been lost forever to your mistreatment," Asvald growled. "Now you will pay with your life." He lifted his fist and smashed it into my father's face. Smash, smash, shush. Blood spurted and bone crunched. I had to turn my face away. None of us made a move to stop Asvald. Shock nailed our feet to the floor.
"You son of a bitch!" Asvald bellowed. Smash. "You dirty scum!" Crunch. "Sick, rotten monster!" Crack.
Slowly, I moved forward and caught hold of Asvald's wrist, stopping the blows. "Enough," I whispered. My father's blood smeared Asvald's hand and speckled his face like red freckles. Blood gushed from my father's nose, his eyes swelling quickly. He groaned and rolled to his side, covering his face with his hands.
I ignored him and tugged Asvald to his feet. "You've done enough."
His chest heaved as he stared down at me, the anger starting to melt out of his face. His lips parted like he wished to speak, but what words could possibly be said at a moment like this? Instead, I turned to my mother.
"Mama, this is my husband, Asvald," I said, my voice shaking.
Asvald did a little bow at the waist and smiled politely. "Good day, ma'am." The blood on his face mocked his manners.
Shaken, my mother stared at him. Her eyes shifted to me. "He is a brute."
I threw my head back and laughed, breaking the tension in the room. "No, he's not." Deciding it would be best to get the blood off his face, I grabbed a rag and wiped it away. "He just doesn't like the things I've told him about my father."
We all looked at my father's crumbled form on the floor. He wasn't moving, but none of us seemed to care.
My mama bravely took a few steps toward Asvald. "You are protective of my daughter, I see." A smirk rested on my mother's face.
Asvald nodded and smiled, wrapped an arm around my waist. "She is my love, of course I want to protect her. I just wish it didn't have to be from her own father."
My mama smiled. "As do I." She motioned to the chairs around the table. "Let us sit and talk."
So we gathered around the table and drank tea while Asvald told our story, leaving out a lot of details that would only upset my mother. My sister seemed pretty fond of Asvald and she joined in to ask questions too.
"What will happen now that you are here?" Kalin asked, folding her hands on the table.
"I will take her home," he spoke firmly now, letting Kalin know that it was not her place to challenge him. I placed my hand on his thigh to warn him to act gently.
Kalin's eyes flashed with anger and she lunged across the table till she was eye to eyes with him. "Try to take her away from me again, you will see what happens."
My heart twisted and my eyes drifted shut. How could I tell her that I had to return to the North and live with my husband and child? That I wanted to return there, that it was my home now? "Kalin, I want to go home to my boy. He needs me and I need him."
We all jumped when my father sat up from his place on the floor and glared at Asvald through his swollen face. "You are not going anywhere with this man. He is not you lawfully wedded husband and your child is a bastard. We could discreetly find you a husband and you can have other children. But you will not return to the North."
Asvald jumped up and his chair tumbled back with a thud. "Eachna, you stopped me once, but this time I swear I will kill him."
I placed my hand on his arm, using my expression to plead with him. "He is not worth your effort."
Asvald's jaw tensed as he gazed down at me. "He hurt you." Tears gathered in his eyes.
"So did you," I said softly before I could stop the words.
Hurt washed over Asvald's face and he shifted on his feet. He was ready to flee. "I am not your father, either."
"No, you are my husband." I set my lips in a firm line and held his gaze. Of course I was right, and he knew it.
At last he nodded and the anger seeped out of him. He turned to my father and offered him his hand. My father took it hesitantly and Asvald pulled him to his feet.
"You are my wife's father and I will give you the respect you deserve for that reason only," Asvald spoke firmly and lowly. "But Eachna will be the one to decide whether she will stay here with you, or come home with me."
All eyes turned to me and I felt a familiar feeling of dread sink into my stomach. My sister's eyes, bursting with her desire for me to stay, something she could do little to hide behind a hazel mask. The arms of my mother, longing to hold me, something she couldn't hide by wrapped them around herself. The lips of Asvald, moving with unspoken pleas for me to remember our child and the life we had built.
This choice had haunted me for several years, always nipping at my heels, always tapping my shoulder. I'd lost count of how many times I'd stood on the forked road, trying to choose the right path. This was the hardest decision yet. I had to choose between family...and family.
Almost on its own accord, my hand dropped to my stomach, which still wasn't as flat as before I'd become pregnant with Toki. The pain of childbirth flashed through my mind, the tired joy I felt holding my son for the first time. Perhaps God had made the choice for me a year ago. At Toki's conception.
I reached out for Asvald's hand and felt reassured by the roughness of his skin. I was grateful that in that moment my father was a defeated man, not the man I was afraid to face. "I will return with Asvald."
Kalin covered her mouth with her hand and squeezed her eyes tightly closed. My mother stared at me with blinking disbelief, and my father shook his head angrily. No one spoke.
A heavy moment, a labored heartbeat. It could be my last chance to say anything to the people who raised me. What words to choose? What had I waited years to say to these people? If only I knew.
"I left here a young girl, and I've returned a wife and mother. Of course this is hard for you to see," I murmured softly, my gaze darting between the hurting faces of my loved ones. "But that is the point, isn't it? I am not a maiden any longer. My heart belongs to this man at my side. My loyalties lie with the babe waiting for in the North."
Silence met my words and Asvald squeezed my hand. "We will spend the night here. In the morning, I will purchase food for the journey home."
My parents nodded, and Kalin wouldn't look at me, so I decided what I needed was my husband's comfort. I led him into the room Kalin and I shared. The bed was small, but we weren't about to let that stop us. Asvald came to me quickly and captured my lips with his. A moan escaped me at the beautiful contact. But before we could get any closer, my sister charged into the room and sprung onto her bed, which was alongside mine. She folded her arms across her chest, and I took a step away from Asvald with a frustrated sigh.
"I have to sleep," she said emotionlessly, though she glared at Asvald as if he was Satan himself.
My frustration with her grew and I opened my mouth to reproach her when Asvald touched my hand with his and nodded toward the bed, his eyes dark and shiny in the dim light. I sighed as he pulled back the blankets and lay down, holding out his hand to me. "Come, love," he murmured in Norse so Kalin could not understand. "Rest in my arms."
Too tired to resist, or argue with my sister, I relaxed into Asvald's arms, my back against his chest. Kalin blew out the candle, leaving us in complete darkness. My heart thumbed heavily in my chest as the day's events replayed in my mind. How quickly everything changes.
"I have missed you," he whispered, still in Norse. "I have missed the light in your eyes and your smile and your touch, and even your scent."
I shivered and smiled as he gently moved my hair off of my neck, where he placed small, gentle kisses. "I have missed you too, my love. Every single thing about you."
"Face me," he murmured deeply, and my heart answered with a definite thump. Obeying him, I rolled so I was facing him, and he placed his hand on my hip. He drew me closer and blindly found my lips with his, catching my upper lip with just one try.
"Eachna, stop kissing your husband while I'm in the room," Kalin growled, only a few feet away. "You will have many chances to kiss him soon, since you are choosing him over me."
Her words were sharp and they cut me, my spirit oozing red. Asvald noticed the tension in my body. "I love you."
Those words mended my wounds, and I pressed my face into his chest, his scent all around me. Tears eased out of my eyes and wetted his shirt. "I'm sorry, I thought I'd never see you again, and that's why you found me in that man's house. There are no feelings, I just needed someone to provide for me." My voice cracked and I had to stop for a breath.
Asvald leaned over me, staring down into my eyes through the darkness. "Kone, hush. I did not doubt you." Lowering his head, he gave me a quick kiss before settling onto his back again. "I love you," he said again and squeezed my hand.
"I love you too," I whispered back and closed my eyes. We held hands as we fell asleep.
{}
The mood was grim in the house next morning. I had awoken to find Asvald gone, though I knew he was just going to reload the ship with goods. Goods that he had bought, this time.
They knew I was leaving them yet again, and none of us knew when our paths would cross again.
After silent tea and oatmeal at a silent table in a silent room, I went for a quick walk through the green fields, the village, and along the beach where I saw the Viking ship that had stolen my away more than a year again, which would soon be taking me home, home to my child and my friends and family.
Once I returned home, Kalin sat with me before the hearth, and we spoke quietly of things sisters speak of, until Asvald strode through the door, as tall, intimidating, and commanding as ever. But his eyes were gentle as they met mine.
"Eachna," he spoke my name with tenderness. "Bid them goodbye."
A lump rose in my throat, and I wondered how I could be so ready to say goodbye, yet feel such a heaviness inside my chest.
My mother came forward first, her green eyes lakes of warmth. She wrapped her arms around me and I melted into her softy, my lips brushing the fragile skin of her neck. My heart wailed silently and my lungs shuddered for air.
Her hands stroked my hair and her calming voice soaked into my bones. "You are free, my little bird."
There it was. The release I had been aching for since I was first stolen. I needed them to let me go.
My mother kissed my cheek and let me go. No more words were needed.
Kalin came to me next. Goodbyes always come in a line. She embraced me and cried into my shoulder with beautiful sobs of loving sorrow. "You had better love that boy with all your heart, you hear me?"
I wasn't sure whether she was speaking of Asvald or Toki, but I nodded and gave her a squeeze, then pulled away. I didn't want her to be the one to draw away. At least I could spare her that.
"I believe I'd like to take her home now," Asvald said to my mother. She smiled and nodded, though her eyes filled with tears.
Asvald gently pulled me away and we left my childhood house. I fought tears and told Asvald that I needed to say goodbye to my brothers and my niece and nephew. We stopped by their houses and I said my goodbyes sadly to them.
As we headed toward the beach, I felt each step crumbling a piece of my heart. At first I only breathed heavily, till finally I could not bear it and sank to my knees.
Asvald knelt with me and blanketed me in his arms. He looked down at me with a sad compassionate smile. "Do you want to stay, Eachna? Would you be happier here?"
I shook my head, though tears flowed freely down my cheeks and neck. "No. But even in my dreams it was never this hard."
Thankfully, Asvald lifted me into his arms and carried me across the beach, setting me inside the longship. The wood felt familiar under my palms, all the scents inside slowing the painful beat of my heart. Home.
We sailed away, and I stood at the stern, watching my green homeland slip away like a paradise in my dreams. I bade it farewell with affection.
When the coast of Ireland was no longer visible, Asvald came to me and tilted my chin toward his face, and kissed away my tears.
"I love you, Eachna. And I will take you to see your family again," he whispered.
My eyes searched his as I dared to hope he was telling the truth. "You honestly mean that? You will bring me here again?"
The corners of his eyes lifted, bringing a sparkle to the ocean of his eyes. "I watched you there at the stern, bidding farewell to all that you've known and loved, because you want to be my wife and the mother of our child. It's a beautiful gift you've given me, Eachna, and I wish to give one back."
"Thank you," I whispered with thick emotion, and he brought his mouth to mine, kissing me gently at first before taking it deeper, his tongue stroking mine. He tasted salty, and just like he always did. Just like Asvald. He brought us down to sit on a bench. I whimpered at his familiar taste and scent, moving into his lap. I didn't care who was watching, I needed my husband. His hands caressed my hips, his mouth firm against mine. My hair swirled around my face, tickling my cheeks and making me giggle into the kiss. My heart beat quickened, and I was so glad to be in my husband's arms again. I vowed that I would never push him away ever again, because nothing he could do was worth losing the feeling I felt when he kissed me.
Pulling back, I buried my face in his neck. "I love you, I love you, I love you. I don't want to lose you ever again."
He chuckled, and placed his hand on the back of my head, cupping me close. "You will not lose me. I came for you, did I not?"
I clung to him for the rest of the journey home.
{}
Upon arriving at the beach, I hastened to have Asvald lift me from the ship and went as quickly I could to Halla's home, where we would now be living until we could build a new longhouse. Asvald was on my heels.
Halla was sitting by her fire, with Toki balanced on her growing belly. I gasped, tears filling my eyes as I looked at my son after what felt like such a long time.
Halla looked up at me and smiled brightly, getting to her feet to place my son in my arms.
"Welcome home, sister," she said and kissed my cheek. Biting my lip to hold in my sobs, I lifted Toki up and placed big kisses on both his chubby cheeks.
"Oh baby, my sweet Toki," I whispered, and clutched him to my chest. His blue eyes gazed up at me, and his mouth opened in an adorable toothless grin. I thanked Halla and looked around at all the other faces. Alanna came forward and hugged me tightly.
"I missed you," she murmured, her voice lacking its normal tone of teasing. "You scared me."
I smiled sheepishly and bumped her with my shoulder. "Thank you for saving Toki."
She flashed her beautiful grin. "Of course. He's like a nephew to me."
Groa came toward me and embraced me, her body unusually thin against mine.
"Are you ill?" I asked, holding her with the arm that didn't contain Toki.
"No," she murmured and pulled away, offering me a gentle smile. "It is just worry, my sweet. I worried for you every moment you were gone."
I frowned in pity and patted her arms. "You are a wonderful mother, Groa." I glanced from her, to Alanna, to Halla, and smiled. "I will have to tell you all of my adventures later."
"Where are you going now?" Alanna called after me as I headed for the door, Asvald's hand in mine.
"To see my home again," I called over my shoulder. Together Asvald and I walked slowly up the slope that over looked the ocean and the village. When I reached the top, I looked out over the village. Buildings there were once houses lay instead as piles of ashes and charred wood, pits of blackness amid a sea of green.
"There is much work to do," Asvald murmured beside me.
We stood there for several minutes, our arms wrapped around each other. Finally, Asvald kissed the top of my head and pulled away. "Come, let's return home."
He led me down the slope, his hand caressing my waist as we slowly walked, careful of my painful ankle. I was glad to have him to lean on.
We came to Halla's home and we slipped back inside. We were greeted with questions, but Asvald gave the three women a look that told them to quiet down and leave us alone. Unfortunately, Halla's longhouse was only one room, though an extremely large room. For once, I didn't care about privacy.
Asvald took Toki from my arms and gave him to Alanna, whose cheeks were red as if she knew exactly what was about to happen between me and my husband.
We moved to the back of the longhouse, the darkest and most secluded place, though we could still hear the hushed tones of sister, mother, and friend.
I sat on the bench that lined the wall, settling into the blankets and furs. Asvald stripped off his shirt and tossed it aside. My eyes wandered up his chest and finally met his gaze. Asvald removed his pants and sat beside me, crossing his legs and reaching for me to move into his lap. I quickly did so, wrapping my arms around him and buried my face in his neck. It wasn't a need for pleasure that drove us together, it was the need for comfort, the need to be one. Asvald reached down between us and lined himself up so I could lower down onto him. Letting out my breath, I pressed my cheek to his shoulder, my fingertips digging into the muscles on his back. His hands caressed my hair as he gently rocked us, his warm breath fanning over my skin. He murmured sweet words to me, and my tears wetted his shoulder.
"Why are you crying, kone?" Asvald murmured into the skin of my neck, his breath a warm caress.
"I don't know," I whispered, and moaned when he gently thrust up into me. "I do not know."
Asvald pulled away and took my face in his calloused hands. "Well, I know." His eyes lit up as he smiled softly. "I know."
I smiled through my tears and laughed softly. "Of course you know."
"I know you," he whispered back, ducking his head to kiss my breasts. I smiled and leaned back, giving him room. When he raised his mouth back to mine, I pressed my chest to his, feeling our hearts beat together as one.