A/N: Thanks for the reviews on the first chapter! They made me smile :) I know this chapter was kind of long, but I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it! The M rating for this fic will be justified in Chapter 3… so consider this your WARNING for PHANSEXUAL SMUT coming up soon ;)
We walked out of the classroom together after explaining the progress we had made to Slughorn, and successfully making him believe that we had been forced to evaporate the potion because we had added too many fairy wings which caused it to start coughing out blue dust.
"Hey Phil," Dan said to me when the dungeon door swung shut behind us.
"Yeah?"
"Could you, like, not tell anyone about what happened? I would probably have to sleep with one eye open if my friends found out. If you were a Slytherin girl, they would be all for it, but given the circumstances…"
"Listen, I know. I won't say anything, okay? No one knows I'm gay either." Dan flinched. "Look, I just hope you aren't… ashamed of what happened."
"Um, not at all," Dan said, not looking me in the eyes.
"Okay," I said, seeing his discomfort. "I'll see you around then." We had reached the end of the corridor and my dormitory was in the opposite direction as his, so I turned to go.
"Bye, Phil," he said quietly.
As I walked back to my dormitory, I could not believe what had just happened. I had just kissed Dan Howell. The sexy, brilliant, powerful, Slytherin sixth year whom I had been crushing on since we played our first Quiddich match against each other last year. And even though Dan had been hesitant, it felt right. Perfect. Like it was meant to be. I had been in a few relationships before over a few summers and I had of course kissed my boyfriends, and even gone further with a few, but none of them compared to kissing Dan. Perhaps it was because our kiss had been so spontaneous, because it had been so unexpected, or because Dan had seemed particularly vulnerable. Whatever the reason, I knew that I wanted to kiss him again. It took everything I had to not turn around and run after him. Instead, I forced myself to get into bed and go to sleep.
oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooo
I awoke the next morning with a nervous excitement, anticipating seeing Dan at breakfast. Of course, I would not say anything to him, or even probably make eye contact with him, but the thought of being back in the same room with him gave me butterflies. I dressed quickly, but carefully, making sure my cloak fell just right and my tie was in properly straight.
"Where are you off to in such a hurry," Alex asked me sleepily from his bed.
"I'm really hungry," I replied before grabbing the books I needed for my first classes and dashing out of the dormitory.
When I made it to the Great Hall there was barely anyone there. Good. I need time to calm down. I sat down and began nibbling on a piece of toast while frantically trying to flatten my hair.
Alex and Carrie came down while I was waiting and joined me for breakfast. By the time we finished, the Great Hall had already filled up and was starting to empty as people began to leave for their classes. I still had not seen Dan. I tried not to think about it too much. Perhaps he just was not hungry that morning. Or maybe he had eaten super early.
I left with Alex and Carrie for Transfiguration, pushing all thoughts of Dan to the back of my mind. But even with my new commitment to not thinking about the previous night, I was still easily distracted.
"Just what do you think you are supposed to be doing?" Professor McGonagall asked me during our lesson.
"I'm trying to make my mouse vanish, Professor," I responded innocently.
"Then what is a mouse tail doing dancing around the classroom?" she asked, exasperated.
"Sorry, Professor," I said quickly, summoning the tail in question which had indeed been hopping around the classroom and doing a little dance, causing the rest of the class to get distracted and watch its progress.
"That was brilliant," Alex muttered to me when McGonagall had walked out of ear-shot.
I just laughed and made the rest of the mouse vanish, not caring to admit that the dance that the tail had been doing mirrored the one I was doing in my head as I could not help but recall the events of the previous night.
I did not see Dan for the rest of the day or even the next day despite my efforts to get to the Great Hall early and leave later.
Thankfully, on Thursday, there was a Slytherin v. Ravenclaw Quidditch match. Dan, as seeker, would have to be there. Alex and I met up with Charlie before the match and we squished into the stadium with the Griffindors. Our side of the stadium erupted with cheers and applause as the Ravenclaw team soared out onto the field. The deafening cries drowned out the announcement of the names, but I knew most of the team anyway. I recognized my friend PJ Liguori as he zoomed by as a streak of blue, making his pre-game lap around the pitch. The Slytherins took the field shortly after. Dan was last to take to the air. I watched as he rocketed into the sky with grace.
The game began and the players took off, cheers and insults from the crowd following them. I cheered loudly with the rest of the Ravenclaws, but I was secretly hoping Dan would catch the snitch. As I watched him play, it looked as though he was distracted. There were a few times that I saw the snitch fly within feet of his head and he did not even notice.
The Slytherins had made some excellent goals at the beginning but the Ravenclaw chasers had worked hard to close the gap and they were quickly pulling ahead.
"170-60 to Ravenclaw!" I heard the announcer shout after PJ made a particularly spectacular goal. If Dan did not catch the snitch soon, there was a good chance they would lose the game.
Dan made a sudden dive and the Ravenclaw seeker, Bryarly, who had been tailing him followed closely behind. There was a collective gasp from the crowd as everyone looked for the snitch. Abruptly, Dan shot back up into the air and the other seeker shot past him, almost taking out one of the Ravenclaw chasers. He had been trying to fake her out. The crowd exhaled.
Before Bryarly could recover however, Dan began to zoom off in the opposite direction.
"Do you reckon he sees it this time?" Alex asked.
"Its right there!" shouted Charlie, looking through his binoculars and pointing to the bottom of the farthest goal post.
Dan shot down through the middle of the field, causing several of his own teammates to swerve out of his way. He was a blur of green and silver as he raced toward the snitch, Bryarly gaining on him.
"Come on Bry!" Charlie cheered for his girlfriend as she fought to win the snitch.
As Dan began to extend his hand, Bryarly slammed into him from the side, knocking him from his course and gaining the advantage. I covered my eyes, unable to watch but quickly spread my fingers so I could peek through them.
Just as Bryarly lunged for the snitch, it rocketed upward. Dan pulled up sharply, changing direction before anyone else knew what happened. It took Bryarly too long to pull out of her lunge and by the time she and recovered, Dan had caught the snitch.
The green and silver mass on the opposite side of the stadium erupted with cheers. I made my best effort to look sad, but inside my head, I was dancing.
There were a few hostile shouts from our side, but the crowd surrounding me was mostly reduced to angrily muttering. "I can't believe it! She was so close!" Charlie said in disbelief. "I'll catch up with you guys later." Charlie began to push his way through the crowd exiting the stadium in an attempt to get down to his girlfriend, who was now sitting, disappointed, on the field, while Dan took a victory lap around the pitch hundreds of feet above her.
Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooo
I looked up to see the owls swooping into the Great Hall the next morning at breakfast. No matter how many times I had seen this phenomenon, I could never get used to it. I usually did not receive any mail; my parents, being muggles, did not understand how to send owl post and all of the magical friends I had were already at school with me. This morning however, a large gray owl landed in front of me and promptly stuck out his leg. I quickly untied it and immediately recognized the seal as Slughorn's. He never failed to be extravagant when he had the chance.
I unfurled the scroll and it read:
Dear Mr. Lester,
I would be delighted if we could have another little potions gathering tonight in my classroom at 6:00.
Professor H. E. F. Slughorn
I looked around to see if any of the other three had received a letter. Dan and Snape were nowhere to be seen, but I quickly spotted Lily's flaming hair at the Griffindor table and it looked as though she had indeed received a letter as well. She looked up and saw me, throwing a smile in my direction and holding up her letter. I waved politely back.
My heart began to beat double time. Dan would surely be there. I would finally get to see him again. I wondered briefly how he would act after what happened last time and I could not suppress the thought that I was part of the reason he had not been eating in the Great Hall. I decided to confront him about that tonight if I go the opportunity.
More good news came when I was told that all of my classes had been canceled for the day. Professor Kettleburn was in the hospital wing recovering from some injuries he had incurred from some illegal creature he had been keeping hidden in the Forbidden Forest. And double Herbology was canceled because Professor Sprout had to harvest some emergency plants for a remedy for him. That left me with nothing to do until 6:00.
I decided to spend that time in the library and get some work done. Everyone had really begun to pile on the work because it was our OWL year so I figured I should use my spare time productively. I went to my dormitory to gather my books then settled down in the library to begin my two-foot long essay on giant wars in the early 1300s.
At 5:30 I decided to stop working and go get ready for Slughorn's. I ran to my dormitory to drop off my things and spent some time in front of the mirror, checking my hair and clothes. With plenty of time, I left and walked down to the dungeons, hoping Dan would be there early so we could talk. Our departure last time had been somewhat awkward and I had gotten the feeling that he had regretted kissing me, but I still clung to the hope that being in back in the same room together would rekindle whatever had been between us.
When I pushed the door open to Slughorn's classroom, I was half expecting to see Dan there waiting for me. Instead, I was greeted the sight of Lily talking with Slughorn again.
"Hello Phil," Lily said brightly as I walked over to them.
"Hi," I said, trying to mask my disappointment. "Are you feeling better?"
"Much, thank you. Madam Pomfrey got me sorted out almost immediately."
"Glad to hear it."
Just then, Dan and Snape strode in, apparently deep in conversation.
"You just have to make sure you are one hundred perfect focused when you cast the spell," Snape was saying.
Dan looked up when they entered the room and his eyes met mine. It was difficult to see through the dim haze of the potions room, but it looked for a second as though his face paled and all emotion drained from it. But as I held his gaze, I thought I saw his expression soften and corners of his lips twitch up in a smile before he glanced away.
"Well now, we're all here! Lets get started, shall we?" Slughorn said brightly as Dan and Snape took their places around the table. "I believe Dan and Phil made some good progress last time, so Lily, Severus, if you look over their work and make some notes of your own, that might give you a good place to start."
"Okay, Professor," said Lily.
"Splendid. Off you go." And with that, Slughorn retreated to his office, leaving the four of us with a cauldron, a book, and some ingredients.
We gathered around the textbook and Snape and Lily quickly looked over what we had already written, then we got to work. With four hands we were able to work much more efficiently but this left a lot of spare time waiting for the potion to brew, which we filled with slightly awkward conversation. I noticed that whenever Dan talked, he avoided making eye contact with me, but when I spoke, I was all he looked at.
As we were preparing the lionfish spines, I glanced up to see Dan's eyes focused on mine. Instead of blinking and looking away quickly like I expected him to however, he held my gaze. I felt a small smile begin to form on my lips as I looked into his deep brown eyes and I saw his lips mirror mine. Just like that, the energy that had been between us before was back. Our eye contact was only broken by Lily asking for our lionfish spines to add to the potion.
"We need more salamander blood," said Snape.
"I'll get some," I offered. I walked around the table to go to the store cupboard and discreetly squeezed Dan's elbow as I passed him, partly to see what his reaction would be and partly because I could not keep my hands off him. When he glanced back at me, I saw a small smile on his face.
I returned from the store cupboard, placed the salamander blood in Snape's outstretched hand, and began to prepare the sprig of mint. I was carefully making slices down the stems when I felt a hand briefly touch the small of my back.
"Need any help?" Dan asked, leaning on the table next to where I was working.
"That would be great," I said, glancing up at him, my eyes locking with his yet again. "Would you mind holding the stems flat and straight while I cut them?"
"No problem," he said, breaking off the first stem and promptly holding it down on the cutting board.
The energy between us was palpable and I could feel myself heat up as I leaned in close to Dan to cut the plant. It was physically impossible not to touch each other in the process of preparing the ingredient. For him to be able to hold the stem straight and for me to be able to cut a precise line down the middle required that our arms be practically entwined and our bodies be almost pressed up against each other's. I could feel his light breath on my ear as I cut through the stems, my hand brushing up against his at the end of every cut. Even with a lack of complete physical contact, it felt intensely intimate working in such proximity. The fact that we were so completely in each other's personal spaces but not quite touching created a tension—a good tension—between us. And I knew Dan could feel it too. I felt like I needed to close that small gap of space keeping our bodies apart, but my common sense and desire to not reveal ourselves to the other two in the room made me refrain from throwing my arms around him and kissing him until I could not breathe. I suddenly could not wait until we were done with the potion for the day. I did not know how he would feel about me bringing up our kiss again, but I fully intended to talk to him after we were done.
I worked as hard as I could to make sure the rest of the potion was made quickly. There were a few more times when I caught Dan staring at me as I worked. He only blushed slightly, but otherwise held my gaze.
When we had finished the potion, we were all satisfied with our work; it appeared as the book described.
"Marvelous, marvelous!" Slughorn declared when we told him we had finished. "Very good for a second try! I'm sure it would work if we had to use it, but it could use a few adjustments to make it more potent. You did very well today." With that we were dismissed.
I quickly packed my things with the others and was about to walk out the door with them when I heard Slughorn say my name. A crushing wave of disappointment rolled through me as I turned around to Slughorn, letting Dan walk out the door without me.
"I just wanted to tell you that I am very impressed with your work. You are only a fifth year, yet you are managing to keep up with even the brightest seventh years. I hope you realize how talented you really are."
"Yes, Professor," I said, anxious to leave in the hope that Dan had not gone very far.
"Don't let it get to your head though. You could really learn a lot from the other three. They are quite excellent themselves and with their guidance, you could gain a whole new understanding of the subject."
"Yes, Professor," I said again.
"I would like it if in a few years you could be mentoring other students. I could see you becoming a brilliant Potions master one day, Mr. Lester. But for now, go. Get some rest. You all worked very hard today. Thank you for agreeing to do this."
"Thank you, Professor," I said quickly and hurried out of the room, hoping to be able to catch up to Dan. I half jogged down the corridors to the Slytherin dormitory, thinking that was the most likely place he would have gone. The halls were practically deserted; anytime I saw someone my heart skipped a beat.
I stopped eventually, not knowing exactly where the dormitory was and wandered around for a while, clinging to the idea that he might still be there. I was not too sure what I would say when I saw him, but I knew that I needed to talk to him. There was no question in my mind as to whether he was interested in me now. His reserved flirtatiousness was enough to show me that. But I needed to know if there could be something more. I was not even positive that I wanted more, but I did know that Dan was really hot and a really good kisser.
After an hour of aimlessly wandering around the castle, I found myself on the seventh floor. The castle had become deserted and, glancing at my watch, I realized that it was past curfew. Just as I decided to give up my fruitless search, I heard someone address me.
"What are you doing out so late, my boy?" A portrait of a knight inquired of me.
"Lost track of time," I said, not wishing to have this conversation.
"You should be in bed, young man!" he called to me as he ran through another painting of what looked like trolls trying to do ballet. I ignored him and was about to round the corner when I ran straight into something.
I was prepared to run, thinking it was the caretaker, Pringle. When I looked up however, I saw an extremely flustered tall boy with perfectly straight hair and deep brown eyes.
"Oh my gosh, Dan. I'm so sorry!"
"That's alright," he replied, looking slightly confused and uncomfortable.
"Why are you out so late?" I asked.
"Just going for a walk."
As I looked into his eyes, I began to see tears forming and I noticed that his eyes already looked slightly red as though he had already been crying.
"What's wrong?" I asked, concerned. He had seemed more than fine just over an hour ago. I placed my hand gently on his shoulder to comfort him.
"Phil, its just…. I…. You…. I'm so confused. Everything I thought about myself—"
He broke off suddenly and we both froze. The sound of footsteps was coming from not too far around the corner. Shrinking back against the wall, we stood perfectly still, barely daring to breathe.
"If you breathe a word of this to anyone…" a female voice whispered threateningly.
"I'm not going to tell anyone. You know I would probably be murdered in my sleep if they found out. But I just hope you don't forget about this. And maybe you can realize that leaving your arrogant toe-rag of a boyfriend would be a good thing for you," a deep male voice responded pleadingly.
"Arrogant toe-rag or not, I love him."
"But you love me too. You can't deny that anymore after tonight."
"It doesn't matter," the female voice said scathingly.
The heavier set of footsteps stopped and the lighter sped up. The echo of the pair that was moving was getting louder. Not wanting to get caught out of bed after hours, I grabbed Dan and pulled him through a doorway that I was pretty sure hand not been there moments ago.
I closed the door quickly behind us. "That was close," I said.
"Yeah," Dan responded quietly.
I looked around to see a cozy room about the size of Slughorn's classroom that was set up much like the Hufflepuff Common Room. Light from a fire in the corner danced around the room. It was sparsely furnished, but everything that was there looked like it was fit for a king. A thick carpet lined the floor and three rather large couches along with four armchairs of varying size and shape sat around the room. On the walls, there were shelves of books and cabinets that held who-knows-what and a large mahogany table that stood in the corner.
I looked over at Dan. He was quietly staring at the ground, looking a little bit like a lost puppy.
"Do you want to tell me what's up now? Now that we won't be interrupted again?"
He just looked at me with a lost expression.
"Come here," I said, pulling him by the hand over to the couch that faced the fire. Sitting him down, I turned so I was facing him. "Now tell me what's wrong."
He stared into the fire and I waited patiently. After a moment, he opened his mouth to speak but shut it quickly. He took a deep breath, opened it again and said, "I just… I don't know who I am anymore."
"What do you mean?" I asked, puzzled.
Tearing his eyes away from the fire, he looked directly at me and said, "I thought I was straight, Phil. But ever since our first day in Slughorn's, I haven't been able to stop thinking about you. And I don't just mean thinking about you; I mean thinking about you."
My heart rate had doubled. Dan had just admitted that he had feelings for me and this made me unbelievably happy. But my delight quickly became diluted with waves of guilt over how it was making him feel.
"There's nothing wrong with that Dan. I haven't stopped thinking about you either," I admitted
"I know, but…. When I was younger I used to think of myself as bi. I never had any feelings for any guys but I just kind of knew, you know? But my friends started teasing me… about how I acted and how I dressed. When I got a girlfriend when I was 11 all of those problems went away and I was happy. I decided sometime then that I was straight. And I haven't questioned that since." He paused and took a deep breath. "But then we were working on the potion and I noticed how smart you were and how beautiful your eyes were and how your smile is all crooked. And then you kissed me and, well, I liked it. And now I can't eat or sleep because I feel like I shouldn't feel that way."
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have been so forward last time." All I wanted to do was wrap my arms around him and hold him and tell him everything would be okay, but I figured that doing so would not help his predicament.
"No, don't apologize. It wasn't your fault. I wanted to kiss you. That's why I'm so confused. It's so strange to want to be with you. To have you touch me again." His voice was barely a whisper now. "In that last Quidditch match, I saw you in the stands and the entire time all I could think about was kissing you again…." He trailed off, his eyes drifting back to the fire again. "And now I'm just scared. I don't know what to do about what I feel. It's so different from everything I thought I was. But at the same time… I don't know if I want to go back."
"That's understandable. I always knew I was gay but when I found out that guys were 'supposed' to be with girls I felt like a freak. I felt like everything I felt was wrong, so I pretended to be straight. When my friends asked who I had a crush on I would make up a name of a girl who lived on my street or who I had met at camp. But then I began to meet people who were like me and I learned to embrace who I was. I'm not going to flaunt it here at school, but I'm not ashamed of it anymore." I put my hand on his knee to comfort him. He just continued to stare into the fire. "If you want, I can help you. I can show you how normal it is to be with another man. I don't want you to feel pressured into it, but I would really like to be with you if you give me the chance. We can take it really slow, okay? I promise not to do anything that will make you uncomfortable. If you say stop, I will stop."
I looked intently at his face, shadows dancing across his perfect skin. I saw his head nod almost imperceptibly.
"Phil?"
"Yeah?"
"Will you hold me?" He looked at me imploringly.
I moved closer and wrapped my arms around him, pulling his body into mine. Instead of stiffening like I thought he might, I felt his whole body relax and he nuzzled his head onto my shoulder. I sat there and reveled in the feeling of his warm body pressed against mine. We breathed in synchrony; I could feel his chest rise and fall against mine. Reaching up to stroke his silky hair, I felt something land on my hand. Noticing that it was a drop of water, I looked down at Dan and noticed that silent tears were rolling down his cheeks.
"It's okay, Dan," I said, gently wiping the tears from his face. He responded by pulling himself closer to me.
"Can I… try something?" I asked softly after a while. Dan lifted his head to look at me. I placed my fingers under his chin and looked into his eyes, making my intentions clear. "You can stop me if you want."
Behind his red-rimmed eyes I could see his hesitation but also a hint of eagerness. I moved my head fractionally closer to his, feeling hesitant myself. When I saw that he did not resist, I closed my eyes and slowly brought my lips to his.
He responded immediately, moving his mouth against mine. His lips were especially soft from the tears that had washed over them. I trailed my tongue over his bottom lip, licking up the salt that remained there from his tears. This action seemed to ignite a spark that brought back with a shock, the electric charge that had been between us earlier that day. The tender kiss that I had planned suddenly exploded into something much more passionate.
Without thinking, I tangled my hands through his hair. His lips parted to allow my tongue to enter his mouth. Our tongues danced together like the flames of the fire that were licking at the interior of the chimney. His breath mixing with mine in my lungs was intoxicating and made me feel lightheaded.
I leaned farther and farther into the kiss, bending him backwards until he was lying down on the couch and I was on top of him. Bringing one hand down from the back of his neck, I let it roam over his chest, exploring his perfect body. Only when he entwined his fingers with mine did I realize how far I had let this get.
Abruptly, I broke the kiss and said, "Dan, I'm so sorry! I didn't mean for this to get so—"
"Shhh," he said, pressing his finger to my lips. "You make me forget about everything else. You make me lose control and not care. I like it. Don't worry about me." And with that he brought my head back down to his and nibbled at my lower lip, causing a small moan to escape my lips before I devoured his mouth once again.
We became breathless and broke apart whereupon I began to trail kisses across his jaw line and down to his neck. He squirmed underneath me when I reached this area and again, I pulled away.
"No, don't stop. My neck is just really sensitive." I looked at him skeptically. "If you don't get your mouth back on me right now, I'm leaving," he threatened in mock-sternness.
Smiling, I returned my lips to his neck and began to nibble and suck at his sensitive skin. I felt him un-tuck my shirt from my pants and his hands slipped up inside. He ran his large hands over the skin on my back, massaging the skin slowly as I massaged his neck with my mouth. Pulling his collar down slightly, I dipped my tongue into the dip just above his collarbone, causing him to gasp. I trailed my flat tongue from this point slowly up his throat and over his Adam's apple.
I recaptured his mouth in mine, but he quickly tangled his hands through my hair and removed his lips from mine.
"Let me tell you a secret," he whispered. He pulled my ear down next to his lips, but instead of speaking, he lightly licked the ridge of my ear, causing me to shudder. I had not realized how sensitive that part of my body was before. "You taste so good," he murmured in my ear. He began to nibble my ear lobe and kiss the space between my ear and my jaw line. I captured one of his hands in mine and began to plant kisses on it. Then I slowly put one finger in my mouth and sucked hard. He gasped again, momentarily derailed from his work on my ear. I did the same to each of his fingers, swirling my tongue around and sucking hard.
He pulled my mouth back to his, capturing it in another impassioned kiss. When we broke apart, breathless, Dan said, "I can't believe I was avoiding you."
"What?"
"Well, you were the reason I was feeling so confused so I figured if I just stayed away, everything would get better. But being here with you now just feels so normal. You make everything feel right."
"It always feels right letting yourself be who you are," I smiled. "I'm glad I can help you see that." Giving him a peck on the lips, I sighed and said, "We should probably get going though. Its late."
I climbed off of him and stood up. Dan sat up and watched me as I gathered my things off the couch. "You should probably wait a few minutes after I leave so we aren't caught together out late," I said.
Dan was staring into the fire again but he looked up at me when I went and stood in front of him. "We should do this more often," I said, leaning down and giving him one last long kiss.
I walked across the room to the door, leaving Dan on the couch.
"Wait," Dan said quietly. I paused, my hand on the doorknob. "Stay with me." I turned around and Dan was still on the couch, but he was looking at me pleadingly. "I haven't slept well since I met you. If you leave now, I'm just going to start over thinking things again. I need you here."
I hesitated at the door. I was glad that Dan was feeling more comfortable with the idea of being with me, but I knew that he was still fragile. If anyone were to find out that we spent the night together, it could be bad not only for our relationship, but also for Dan himself. I also did not want to push things too far too fast, for fear that he would feel overwhelmed and run away.
"Please?" he begged.
I looked into his eyes and saw that he did indeed look sleep-deprived. His eyes searched mine and I could see that all they sought was comfort. Crossing the room in a few long strides, I sat back down and pulled Dan into a hug.
"I'll stay."
"Thank you."
I lay down and pulled Dan down next to me, wrapping my arms around him. "Sleep now," I whispered, running my hand through his hair and giving him one last kiss. He pulled himself closer to me and let his eyes close.
I watched him through my heavy lids as he drifted off into sleep. His face looked peaceful and almost childlike as he lay there. As I looked at his perfect features, I could not help but think of how lucky I had been. If I were not good at potions, if Slughorn had not needed to make that potion, if he had not asked Dan to work on it too, I would not have been lying there and falling asleep with the most gorgeous man I had ever met in my arms.