3. Flawed Design
When I was a young boy
I was honest and I had more self control
If I was tempted I would run
First Year
Her love for Harry Potter was sickening to him, the way she seemed to follow him and adore him. Why did he even care? His father pointed her out to him in a crowd of people in the bookstore. She was muggle filth. His mother didn't allow him to say "Mudblood" because she thought that was a dirty word for her precious young boy to say. Draco Malfoy loved his mother and respected her wishes by keeping his mouth shut and just calling her 'Stupid Granger' in the corridors around the school whenever he had a chance. He never touched her, though; he didn't have it in him to shove her.
She was a girl.
And he was his mother's sweet boy, or, at least, on the surface, that was who he was.
"Granger?"
"Yeah?"
"Help me with Potions." His statements were always facts.
"Of course."
Then, when I got older
I began to lie to get exactly what I wanted
When I wanted it
And I wanted it
Second Year
Those puffy eyes were his undoing, that cold expression on her face was one of death.
He spent every moment he could in the infirmary with her, touching her cold hands. "Granger, I hate you so much. I hope this kills you. I hope I never have to see your bushy little head in any of my classes. Father would be so happy if you were done. He says that I think of you too much. God I hate you, stupid little Mudblood." His fingers ran over her cheek. "I do hate you."
"Malfoy."
"Yeah?"
"We have to go. Potter and his Weasel are coming. What are you doing with Granger anyway?"
"I don't see how that is any of your concern you fat arse."
Goyle walked back out in the corridor, stalling the heroes of Gryffindor from seeing their lioness for a few more minutes.
Draco Malfoy loved being in her den.
Now, I'm having trouble differentiating
Between what I want
And what I need
To make me happy
Third Year
His hands wrapped into silky black hair as he listened to the low moans coming from Pansy Parkinson, as she tried desperately to please him. Pansy was one of his best friends, yet when he desperately wanted something unnameable he called on her to give him that moment of sanity. "Fuck, Parkinson. You're getting… umm, better… that doesn't mean stop…"
Draco's head tossed to the side against the dungeon wall, desire laced eyes opened to see no one other then a wide eyed Hermione Granger staring back at him. He wasn't even sure if she had ever been there considering that the moment he blinked she was gone.
As Pansy's hand wandered towards his pant's zip, he pulled her hand off. "Draco…"
"Later, Pansy." He turned the corner and almost ran through the dungeons. He had to find that meddling little Mudblood. Maybe this time he would actually hurt her instead of just stare at her and call her mean names.
Draco saw curly brown hair sharply turn a corner and he knew he had her. That corner led to nothing but a dead end. This was it; no one probably knew she was down there and now he would have her. He would show her that he wasn't scared of her. That he truly hated her. That he wouldn't ever let her live if he had the chance. This was it, that big moment. Hermione Granger was finally his to destroy. His dreams were big.
"Mal-Malfoy… you stay away from me. I know what you were doing… with Pansy…"
"Then I suppose you saw everything, right, Granger?" The brunette's head bobbed in a 'yes' fashion.
"Then you know how much she enjoyed doing that for me." He could hear her swallow. "You know that she was moaning for me."
"You're sick."
"Not as sick as you, Granger. You watched, little voyeur. You liked it just as much as Parkinson did."
Hermione looked down in shame.
This round was one zero. Draco in the lead.
So instead of thinking I just stop
Before I have the chance to contemplate the
Consequences of action
Fourth Year
Sticky tears traveled down the face of the elegant Gryffindor girl as she walked up the stairs just trying to make her way back to her common room. This night was the worst she had ever experienced; it was even worse then getting the crap kicked out of her by a tree. The way Ron treated her was horrible, horrible enough to where she kind of ditched out on Viktor.
"Well, well, well. If it isn't the princess of Gryffindor out for a stroll, and without her bodyguards, I see. What happened, love? Get into a tiff with one of them? Too bad." His voice was stuffed with fake sympathy and her tears weren't stopping.
"Please, just leave me alone." Her bun was starting to fall out and thick ringlets of perfectly curled hair fell into her face. "Don't you have someone you should be with right now? I'm sure that she would like to show you off a bit more tonight."
"Don't you have Krum?"
"I'm tired, Malfoy."
"I'm awake, so I suppose we're at a standstill here, Mudblood." He took one step closer and she unconsciously leaned back. "How cute, right when I thought you were starting to like me."
"I could never like you, in any form of the word." Hermione pushed past him and quickly walked up another set of stairs. She was almost home. Almost to her bed, almost to anywhere that Malfoy wasn't allowed to follow. She was standing right in front of the sleeping Fat Lady when she felt strong hands on her hips and her body being pulled back against another. A cool hand covered her mouth while the other was more daring, snaking around her waist and grazing over her long neck. It ran down the side of her periwinkle dress and pulled the fabric up slightly. Draco could feel the hot breath of her mouth against his hand and was momentarily disgusted at himself for even touching her.
She was filthy.
But she didn't feel filthy.
His hands moved off her body and he turned her around to face him. Hermione's eyes looked down at his mouth and back up to his silver orbs. "You don't touch me like you hate me."
"You don't reject me like you hate me." His mouth moved over her neck and all he did was breathe. Breathe in her; breathe in everything.
And ever since I figured out
That I could control other people
I've had trouble sleeping
With both eyes closed
Fifth Year
"It's called doing my job, Harry. Just because Umbridge decides that I can't doesn't mean I'm going to listen."
"Don't you remember what she did to me, Hermione?"
"Yes, I remember clearly. I just want to-"
"Oh, how sweet, Granger and Potty out for a late night stroll." Of course they couldn't have just run into some Hufflepuff airhead, no, they had to run into Pansy Parkinson. Her flowing black hair was intimidating to Hermione. Why was it that Draco would slink around with Pansy? She was pureblood, after all. Why did he keep it so well hidden?
"Bugger off, Parkinson."
A blue gaze turned to the brown eyed Gryffindor. "Finally find a voice, Granger? I don't understand what is it about you that fascinates Draco so much. All he does lately is talk about you. You're filth, Granger. You're absolutely disgusting and you know it. You live in filthy skin with thick muddy blood flowing through your veins." The Slytherin took a step closer to Hermione. "You reek of it. Your whole family is better then you. Being a Muggle is one thing, but being whatever the hell it is you are is-"
That was the last moment that Hermione Granger heard anything. Or, at least, for that night it was. Her fist balled and before she could realize what was happening, she was on top of Parkinson and trashing her. There was blood on her hands and nothing else mattered but getting it everywhere. They were rolling on the floor. Evidently Pansy wasn't going to give up and Hermione felt like her eye was going to explode when one rather brutal punch came in. In the back of her mind she could hear Harry yelling and could hear Pansy groaning and coughing but it just didn't matter. Nothing mattered. Pansy thought her blood was dirty; well, let the bitch taste it. She didn't care if tomorrow she was strung out by Umbridge. She just didn't care.
Cool hands touched her. They weren't Harry's because she knew his hands must be warmer then this.
Draco.
"Pansy-"
"Draco, she attacked-"
"I don't care, Pansy. Go get cleaned up and don't tell anyone about this."
"She should get…"
"I said go get healed or whatever" the Slytherin seeker said over his shoulder.
Footsteps belonging to the standing girl faded.
There was so much blood.
"What the hell happened, Potter?"
"Hermione and I were talking and Parkinson said things to her. Hermione just... she just attacked her."
"Is she okay?"
"Yeah, she's fine."
His pale fingers caressed her face and Harry lit up with anger, shoving Malfoy away with as much force as he could muster.
And if I asked permission
If I make sure it's ok
I promise I won't slip up this time
You can trust me
Sixth Year
The seventh floor seemed eerily quiet. Ever since the D.A. stopped meeting she hadn't found that much need to walk those corridors so frequently. Maybe she was just curious was all. Maybe Harry was right about whatever it was Malfoy was doing in there. A part of her didn't want to believe that he was doing anything wrong because that would mean her little fantasy of him being a good person was shot to hell. She never could figure out why she wanted that so much from him, but she did.
A door appeared in front of her face and she watched the knob turn. Out stepped Malfoy who seemed to be holding something shiny in his hand. It was quickly shoved into his pocket when he saw her, though. "What the hell are you doing up here?"
"I don't see how that is any of your business, Malfoy." She looked down at his feet and then up the rest of him. She wanted to bash his head on most days; this day was just another one of those days. "But, my business does concern what you've been doing in that room."
"I think you know quite well what I've been doing in there, eh, Granger?" His promiscuous words made her flush. Yeah, what he was doing in there had nothing to do with wanking but she couldn't help but let her mind wander. It wasn't a crime. He was a nice looking bloke. "You know that it isn't fun and games any more, don't you?"
"Yes, I know it isn't. But I still want to know."
"What I'm doing in there?" Draco tried to chuckle but it didn't work out "Let's just drop it, call it a day." He stared to pick up pace as he walked past her but her arm grabbed his. Draco's response wasn't tactful and surely wasn't safe. Hermione felt her whole body sting as her back connected with the cold stone walls Hogwarts was laced with.
His eyes seemed darker then usual. Eyes were never Hermione's thing but his were captivating to her.
His tight grip on her upper arms was painful as he slammed her against the wall once more. "Do you think this is a game?"
"Never."
"Then why the hell do you play it, Granger? You want me to have to hurt you? Do you want them all to know "
"Draco, you're hurting me."
"Hurting you? Do you think I care? Do you think I can care? I hate you."
"You've never been able to truly hate me. Don't grow a pair now and think it's acceptable."
"I'm one of them." His hands loosened their grip on her. The shocked brunette could only stare. Those wide muddy eyes looked back at him with a mixture of shock and anger. "I hate you." Draco's fist slammed into the wall beside her head.
She didn't flinch.
Just stared.
But never take advice from someone
Who just admitted to being devious
Who just confessed to treason
The War
"You can't think about it. If I was the enemy, if I even seemed like it for one moment, never question it. Always act on it. If you don't, I could kill you. Potter could kill you. Weas- anyone could kill you."
"Well, Harry killing me would be absurd."
"Harry killing anyone other than Voldemort sounds absurd to you, and yet you've watched him take lives."
"Lives of killers."
"Lives of husbands, wives, children, mothers. It makes no difference. In the end we're all just pawns. It's already all mapped out for us, Granger. Either we're going to live, or we're going to die."
Hermione looked up from the spot on the floor. The dingy room they were residing in was filthy, disgusting. It reminded her of the dungeons, so full of grime but you could still call it home. "Do you ever think of me, Draco?"
"Think of you?"
"In terms of us. About what we have?"
"Always."
"Do you have a conclusion?"
"Never I can't think of any and the more I look at you, the more this room becomes home. The more I realize that if I could really breathe without you, nothing would feel complete. My whole life has been nothing but you. Ever. I remember watching you as a child, being told the missions I was to follow when it came to you. I was to best you in school. I was to be better. But how could I ever dream of being better then someone who was born to steal everything away from me; who was born to steal my soul."
"I don't want to steal anything from you. I lov-"
"Don't say things like that to me, Granger. I don't deserve it."
"I still want to tell you."
Draco lifted his head up and gave her a sideways glance. She was his to protect now. Harry had pretty much handed her to him and said that he trusted him. Draco was trusted to ensure the survival of one Hermione Granger. Most days he wished he didn't exist in her world. Maybe she would be happier, safer.
"Draco."
"Yeah?"
"Kiss me."
"What?"
Hermione put her hand over his and looked into his dark grey confused eyes. She bit her rosy bottom lip and leaned in close to him. "I want you to kiss me, just once." Her nose bumped against his and moved back and forth against Draco's. Her eyes closed as his hand wove into her hair. Their lips came close together, so close, he could feel her breathing. His eyes closed while his free hand pushed Hermione into him as light growl emanated from Draco's throat. Hermione gasped lightly as his mouth came harshly down on hers. She groaned into his mouth when his hand grasped her hips, pulling her onto his lap.
Their kiss didn't end even when they felt like breathing was an essential need. They couldn't stop. They just kept feeling each other push the other one into a desperate state of need and desire.
Behind them they heard someone coughing. They pulled away quickly. Hermione landed on the floor right beside Draco when Harry got close enough to push him. "What the hell is going on in here?"
There was blood on his shirt.
"Nothing, Harry" Hermione said, looking up at her best friend with hooded eyes.
"Right Malfoy, I need you and Hermione to cover me. Ron is out of town with Charlie doing recon and tonight is when it ends."
"Ends, Potter?"
"Tonight, either Voldemort or I will end it. This is it, the big finish."
And I will turn off
And I will shut down
Burying the voices of my conscience hitting ground
Post War
He was looking down at a grave.
Not an odd thing since there were many people in this graveyard wandering around and mourning. But none were really for these people. These were the people that killed all the other ones. He set down yellow roses on his mother's grave. She hadn't killed anyone, but she was resting near the husband for whom she died.
"Draco, Harry wants to see you." Hermione's brown eyes stared at his figure.
"Tell Potter I'll speak with him tomorrow."
"But-"
"No. I don't want to speak to him."
"I know it hurts."
"You have no idea."
"I'm so sorry. Is there anything I can do?" Her hand touched his shoulder in a gesture of help.
"I don't want your pity. I want your absence." He shrugged away from her touch.
"Fine, have it your way." Her hand pulled away, but before she could take even five steps away from him, her name was being called out.
"I just miss her. I remember the mornings when father was away. She would come in and wake me up with kisses. She was too good for him. She deserved so much more from both of the men in her life. I failed her." His fingertips ran over the white stone "I wanted to save her so desperately I joined them to save her. You knew that, right? And I abandoned them to save you because I couldn't even fathom the thought of a world without you in it. My mother knew." Draco made himself look at Hermione. "I want to touch you. I want to taste your skin, feel your life under my fingers. I'm so in love with you I don't even know when it started and I can't make it end."
"Draco-"
"And I don't want you to love me. You're so beautiful. You deserve someone better. Someone that is a better person, who didn't make mistakes and almost shagged you in a dirty room."
"I love you! I don't care about what you've done. If you love me then please don't say someone else deserves me more! I want to be with you."
"And I refuse to let you be with me. I look at you and see something forbidden."
And I will turn off
And I will shut down
The chemicals are restless in my head
The Real Beginning
His hands ran over her naked flesh, grasping and kissing his way up her body in quiet desperation. This was love. It wasn't need. It was much too raw for need. Her head tossed back into the pillow that held her head close to his, her mouth opening up to produce sexy sighs and begging moans. He wasn't sure what she wanted but he wanted to give it to her. His thighs rested between her wide spread ones as he basked in her glowing eyes that were burning black. She didn't even look like the Hermione Granger he had shoved away just to pull closer.
Nimble fingertips traced pathways down his back and gripped his shoulder blades. Her pleading moans were becoming louder, ringing through his head as the tip of his arousal touched her wet entrance. A sheer layer of sweat rested over her face and the visible parts of her chest. They were breathing so heavily that he couldn't think. The room felt like it was full of smoke, smoke and her vanilla body wash.
She was warm around him, welcoming as he slid himself inside of her. His head fell into the crook of her neck as a small, longing rhythm was set. They could feel each other giving up, reaching for unreachable things. Dreaming of daring thoughts. "Tell me…" she whispered into his shoulder her lazy kisses coating his neck and cheeks.
"I…" he swallowed, "love you," he chocked out into her hair while his hands grasped her back, flipping them so that she rode him gracefully.
"Again…" His hips bucked up at her and she slammed down onto him.
"Love you… love you… love you…" Draco's voice was hoarse but he couldn't stop telling her. Couldn't make himself stop.
He was crying when he woke up.
Woke up to find a cold bed.
He had screwed everything up. In five hours he was going to watch the woman he loved marry Ron Weasley and all he had was this dream. This one perfect moment in his mind when they melted together and everything was wonderful when he could scream that he loved her more than the air he breathed.
Draco brushed his teeth, took a shower and didn't eat breakfast that morning. Nothing looked good.
Four hours and fifteen minutes later, he was standing at the podium, watching Weasley rock back and forth in a nervous fashion.
"You know, I'll wake up tomorrow morning with her in my arms." Ron said quietly over to Draco as the grey eyed dragon watched him. "But I know that she would have spent the whole night dreaming of you." Draco moved his eyes down to the floor. His shiny black shoes were the only things staring back at him.
The music started.
Draco couldn't breath.
'Cuz I lie not because I want to
But I seem to need to all the time
Yeah, I lie and I don't even know it
Maybe this is all a part of my flawed design
A/N: The lyrics are from the song "Flawed Design" by Stabilo.