I Had My Reasons Ch 8
This chapter just kind of wrote itself.
I don't know how many of you are still watching Glee. I will actually still watch the last season just to see it to the end. My main motivation is that I am hoping the deleted scenes of Finn singing Not The End will be found by Rachel and she will use it to inspire the Glee Club kids. I want this so bad I can taste it, but knowing RIB as we do, I won't hold my breath.
Anyway, it's a wedding! Let's see who is going to the wedding with whom.
Ok, I know there are a lot of songs in this, but it's a wedding and the songs tell part of the story, and that's the reason there haven't been very many songs in the past chapters. So Here they are:
I Love You, by Celine Dion
Trumpets by Jason Derulo
All Of Me by John Legend
If You Say My Eyes Are Beautiful by Whitney Houston and Jermaine Jackson
I Miss You by Beyonce'
I do not own Glee or any of its characters, but the mistakes are all mine!
F+R/
Finn wakes up this morning feeling like something heavy is sitting on his chest. He has felt this way since Rachel's speech yesterday. He went to work and when he returned to the apartment last night, she was in her room. He expected her to come out and waited for her in the living room, but she did not emerge. He can hear her in the bathroom already this morning. He waits until she is out of the bathroom and leaves his bedroom to go into the restroom himself. Once finished he goes into the kitchen in his t-shirt and boxers to get a drink. Walking barefoot, he shuffles his feet across the small hallway to the kitchen. Rachel is standing by the sink rinsing her cereal bowl and placing it into the dishwasher.
"Good morning," he says with hesitation trying to gauge her mood.
"Morning," she whispers back.
She turns around looking at the floor and Finn suspects that she is avoiding his eyes. He also notices that she wears her yoga pants and long sleeve workout shirt and already has a tennis shoe on the foot of her good leg and a cast shoe on the other. She leaves the kitchen by walking the long way around the kitchen table so she did not have to come near him. She picks up her purse and heads for the door.
"Where are you going?" Finn asks her. "I know you don't have rehearsals today."
Her hand freezes on the door knob and she answers without turning around to look at him, "Out for coffee and a walk in the park."
"Want me to go with you?" he asks hopefully.
"No." She proceeds to open the door and leaves.
He goes to the refrigerator and pours himself some juice. The heavy feeling in his chest suddenly gets even heavier.
F+R/
It's Saturday and Finn is frantically getting ready for the wedding. The past few days Rachel has done her best to stay as far away from his as possible. He should feel relieved, but it makes this doom feeling he has in his chest even worse. Rachel's behavior, so unlike Rachel, makes him regret inviting a date to the wedding. His mom has also been a little weird with him. Normally when he tells her he has a date with someone, she likes to grill him about the girl. She has not even asked a single question about her. Not one. When he called her last night she told him she was disappointed in him and that she didn't raise her son to be thoughtless.
He has finished getting ready, but left the jacket on the hanger so it wouldn't wrinkle. Taking one good look in the mirror, he leaves the nanny's room and goes up to Rachel's closed bedroom door. He knocks.
"Rachel, I am leaving for the wedding. I have to be there early." Finn calls out to her through the door.
All he hears in response is "OK." He's been trying to talk to her for the past few days, to explain that he doesn't want to move out, and that they could work some kind of compromise, but she is avoiding him apparently. Tomorrow he'll take the few things that he has here, mostly clothes, and go back home. The last thing he wants is to cause her more stress. It's an impossible situation and she is right. Right now he can't, no, that's not true, he won't, give her what she wants.
He goes to his car and soon he is at his date's apartment. He walks to the fourth floor where her apartment is, and knocks. A very beautiful girl in a baby blue dress opens the door. She is classically beautiful, with blond hair and green eyes and has a certain calmness that he needs right now. She is not high strung like Rachel and she chooses her words very carefully, like they are rehearsed. He guesses that it's because she is a T.V. reporter, but he finds it soothing; easy. Her name is Quinn Fabray.
They walk together to his car and drive toward the country club where Kurt has chosen to marry.
F+R/
Rachel looks at her reflection in the mirror and is pleased with the way she looks. She is wearing a green chiffon dress that is backless. The bodice plunges to where her abdomen begins to bulge revealing the valley between her breasts and the halter like neckline fastens in the back of her neck. The chiffon drapes to the floor, but as she walks, there is a slit on the front of her thigh that goes almost to the hip. Even though the leg that is exposed is the one with the cast, it makes her look sexier...like a badass. When she stands up straight you can't see it, but at the slightest movement, her well toned thigh is exposed. She has a high heel pump in nude on her good foot. Her hair is curled and parted on the side with a crystal studded comb holding one side up, while the heavy side falls slightly over her left eye. Crystal chandelier earrings and a crystal bracelet are all the accessories needed. In her hands, she carries a nude clutch purse. Kurt sure knows what he is doing! Her make up is flawless; it took her over an hour to apply it. Pleased with the way she looks, she turns when she hears the doorbell and walks to open the door for her date.
When she opens the door, he stands there looking...perfect. She couldn't ask for a more dashing partner for tonight!
"Your carriage has arrived, Cinderella." He mimics bending at the waist like a footman with his hand extended. "Let's go get you that prince, and if he doesn't want you, I'd be more than willing to take his place tonight!"
She giggles at his pretentious flourish and places her hand in his. "Why, thank you, my lord! I may have to take you up on that!"
F+R/
Finn is standing in front of the officiant as the best man next to Cooper and Blaine. Any second now, Kurt is going to come through those doors with Burt. It's kind of funny how Kurt is taking the traditional part of the wedding so seriously, but it will be a fun wedding. How could it not be? Kurt planned it. Finn notices that Rachel has not come. He feels a little sad for Kurt, because he really wanted Rachel to come, and for Rachel because she feels she needs to avoid him. Just then the doors open at the opposite end where Kurt is supposed to be, and Finn's heart sinks to his feet. His head feels dizzy like he is going to pass out. This can't be happening, he thinks to himself and looks around at the stunned faces of the crowd who are gawking at the gorgeous couple walking down the aisle, arriving late.
Puck and Rachel walking in. She is stunningly beautiful, possibly the most beautiful pregnant woman in the world. Puck, with a tux walking like he is the luckiest guy in the world to have Rachel on his arm looks toward Finn and actually...winks? The guests are looking at them and the photographer continues to snap photos of them as if they are celebrities. As Rachel walks, she occasionally looks at Puck with that look that is reserved for Finn; the hearts in her eyes look. Finn's eyes actually well up and he bites his lips in a line. How can Puck betray him like this? His best friend. What happened to the bro code, huh? Looking at the ceiling, he takes deep breaths in and out to control himself. When he looks straight again, the first face he sees is his mother's. Carole is shaking her head back and forth with an "I told you so" look.
Puck finds his way down the aisle and sits next to Quinn. She smiles at Puck and Rachel as they sit.
"Hi there," he smiles toward her.
"Hi yourself," responds Quinn with a smile.
Puck's heart is pounding a hundred miles and hour. He has never seen a girl more beautiful! He has to find out who she is and get her number by the end of the night, which will be tricky considering he is on a date with Berry tonight.
All of a sudden, the wedding march comes on and everyone stands to look behind them. Kurt is standing there with Burt. Burt is wearing a black tux like all the men in the wedding party, but Kurt? Kurt is wearing a white tux and carrying a small bouquet of flowers. A lot of aww's and giggles are heard among the guests while Kurt and Burt make their way to the officiant and where Finn is steaming in anger. It's his brother's wedding day and he wants to punch somebody. No, not somebody; his best friend!
F+R/
The reception hall at the country club is beautiful with white china with a platinum trim, and crystal. The centerpieces on each table are vases 20 inches tall with bunches of white hydrangeas and peonies the green of their leaves stunning against the white of the flower. There are also white rose petals scattered on the tables which are covered by silver tablecloths. It looks breathtaking. While waiting for the wedding party to be announced, Finn asks Kurt if he can go into the reception room to find Puck. Seeing how Finn and Puck have occasionally exchanged punches, Kurt is adamant that Finn stay put. Finn's stomach is nauseous. Somewhere in there, Puck is taking advantage of Rachel's weakened resolve and will pounce like a jaguar the first chance he gets.
Finally the wedding party is introduced and Finn goes to take his place at the head table. He looks around looking for Rachel and finds Quinn waving at him. He waves back and notices that Puck and Rachel are sitting next to her. Good, he'll be able to get close to them later.
Kurt leans toward Finn's chair and with a frozen smile, mouths like a ventriloquist holding a dummy."What is wrong with you tonight? You should be ecstatic for me! This is an extraordinary event. A legal marriage between the same sexes. "
"Oh, I'm sorry Kurt. I am really happy for you! I just got a lot on my mind, that's all?" Finn smiles that lopsided smile and looks down at his hands. He raises his eyes and sees Rachel laughing at something Puck has said. Kurt follows Finn's line of vision and Kurt's eyes widen in shock.
"Oh. My. God. Is Rachel on a date with Puck?" Finn shrugs. "You have to admit I did a great job as her stylist." Kurt is not volunteering the fact that he knew about this all along. In fact, he and Puck have something planned that will blow Finn's gasket and maybe put his ass in gear.
"Yes, Kurt you did! She looks gorgeous!" Finn bites the inside of his cheek to stop himself from going over there.
"They do make a striking couple, don't you think? I didn't see them come in, but I heard the hushed commotion. She looks so fabulous, I'm not even mad that she upstaged me at my own wedding, and yet here you are acting all surly." Kurt confides while leaning close to Finn.
"I'm not surly...I'm just upset I can't sit with my date." Finn lies.
"Finn? That's fantastic. It's a good thing you are over her, 'cause it looks like Puck is going to be sipping on some Berry juice tonight!" Internally, Kurt can barely control his laughter.
"Shut up, Kurt!" Finn closes his eyes to erase that image from his mind.
"Don't tell me to shut up at my own wedding, Finn Hudson!" Kurt chastises him while crossing his arms over his chest. "Hey, let's change the subject. Have you thought about your best man toast?"
"Well, I thought with Blaine's brother being "bestest" man, he would give the toast."
"Cooper will, but you also need one give one too, even though technically you are the "maid of honor."
"What?"
"Well, I'm kind of like the bride, so being my best person, you are like a maid of honor." says Kurt with wide eyes and pats Finn on she shoulder a couple of times. "Just prepare something in your head."
F+R/
After dinner was finally over, the cake was cut, and Kurt and Blaine had the first dance, Finn was finally able to mingle and went to Quinn's table. Quinn was in a flirty conversation with Puck, and Rachel was looking a little sad to be left out. As he approaches the table, he refuses to make eye contact with Rachel and Puck!
"Hey, Quinn, there is a slow dance and those are the only ones I can do, so do you want to dance?" Finn puts his hand out for her to take.
"Absolutely," she replies sweetly and puts her hand in his and stands up. As they walk off to the dance floor Rachel can admit with a heavy heart that Finn and Quinn look striking together. Puck glances over at her and asks, "Ok, are you ready for this?" He is enjoying this so much! Rachel nods her head, and places her hand in his and replies, "Let's do this!"
The new song begins, and Puck rushes Rachel toward the dance floor.
Once on the dance floor, Rachel and Puck stand about 10 feet from Finn and Quinn. Quinn glances over to Puck with a shy smile and looks back at Finn. Finn is becoming furious? When did Puck become his competition for women. Normally they go for a totally different type of girl.
"Sorry I had to leave you alone for so long." Finn looks down.
"No problem, I knew that you were in the wedding party, so it was expected. And your best friend there entertained me the whole time, so it was ok. He is really fun. I like him." she replies with a tilt of her head. Finn looks at Puck holding Rachel in his arms looking longingly at her and says, "He is not my best friend."
I must be crazy now
Maybe I dream too much
But when I think of you
I long to feel your touch
To whisper in your ear
Words that are old as time
Words only you would hear
If only you were mine
Rachel laces her hands over Puck's neck and they begin swaying to the song. She keeps up with the act, looking at Puck as if he has hung the moon. Ten feet away, Finn continuously turns his head to look at them, Quinn suddenly catching on to his ping pong behavior. They continue to sway. He looks over at Puck as he lifts his arm for Rachel to twirl once and come back close to his chest. Rachel lays her head on Puck's chest and then bends her head back to look at Puck's eyes. Puck is giving Rachel his smitten, shitty grin and Finn is incredulous that Rachel is falling for it.
I wish I could go back to the very first day I saw you
Should've made my move when you looked in my eyes
'Cause by now I know that you'd feel the way that I do
And I'd whisper these words as you'd lie here by my side
At the next lyrics however, Rachel moves to look at Finn and he locks his gaze on her and unbeknownst to them, their dates are also taking glances at each other.
I love you, please say
You love me too, these three words
They could change our lives forever
And I promise you that we will always be together
Till the end of time
Well maybe I, I need a little love yeah
And maybe I, I need a little care
And maybe I, maybe you, maybe you, maybe you
Oh you need somebody just to hold you
If you do, just reach out and I'll be there
They continue dancing and using the song to out do one another at paying too much attention to their perspective dates. Puck looks at Rachel, "Look I'm going to do something now to make him nuts, so just go with it and act like you love it. I'm not just doing this for you guys...I want Quinn, ok?" Rachel nods. Before she knows it, Puck leans over and kisses her hard on the lips while his left hand, the one visible to Finn, gives her butt cheek a lingering squeeze. Finn freezes on the dance floor and pulls Quinn to go back to the table.
Once he pulls out her chair and she sits, he says, "I need to go to the restroom." He walks out of the hall and walks to the courtyard there. He can still hear the remaining lyrics of the song and just can't watch Puck maul Rachel on the dance floor and see her like it.
He stands at the courtyard and when he turns to go back inside, he sees Puck heading toward the bathrooms. He opens the door and yells, "Hey!"
Puck stops in his tracks with a smile and makes himself lose the smile before he turns around.
"What are you doing?" Finn goes to stand a few feet away from Puck and crosses his arms across his chest.
"I'm doing great! Thanks." Puck shoves his hand in the pockets of his pants trying to keep himself from laughing.
"I don't mean how you are doing, I mean what are you doing with Rachel." Finn keeps biting his lips and shifting his weight from one foot to the other ready to pounce.
"Nothing. She called me and said she needed a date to the wedding, which surprised me since you were required to attend, I figured you would take her, but obviously you decided to rub your date in her face, so I said yes."
"You can't date her...she is pregnant with my kid." Finn says.
"Apparently she doesn't know that I can't date her, because she asked me. Plus, I think she really likes me. We have that Jewish bond thing going." Puck responds innocently. "Anyway, what are you getting so worked up about? You are here on a date of your own, with a gorgeous girl, so why don't you go pay her some attention? Plus, you said you wanted nothing to do with Berry anymore. She's fair game, man!"
"No, she is not...there is a bro code man. You can't go after my ex." Finn points his finger at Puck and taps him with it on the chest.
"We are not in high school anymore, Finn. If she is available and she wants a Puckerman injection to make her feel better, she will get it. And she is available and wants it." Finn thinks back to all the times that Rachel has begged him for sex and he knows she wants it.
"Fuck you!" Finn tells him as he walks away.
"Yeah, you can say "fuck you" to me, but I'll be probably fucking her tonight!" Puck bites his lips in a ooh-I-think-I-did-it-now expression and walks to the bathroom.
Finn returns to the table and he has to fight back tears. He just lost his best friend. He goes and sits next to Quinn and watches Rachel talk with his mom. His mom hugs her...hugs her. Can you believe it?
"You look like you just lost your best friend." Quinn observes after he looks at her.
"I did." Finn says dejected manner and props his elbow on the table and rests his head on his hand still looking at Rachel from afar.
"Who's that girl?" Quinn asks curiously, "You keep staring at her."
"My ex." Finn says and looks at Quinn with a twitch of his lips.
"Oh, I get it now. You guys broke up and she started dating your friend and now they are having a baby together. I see how that would be a little hard to deal with."
"What? No, they are not having a baby together. That's my baby." Finn corrects her.
"You're having a baby...with her? How long since you guys broke up?" Quinn's instincts tell her to run from this situation.
"When she faked that she got an abortion and showed up about a month ago still pregnant."
"And you haven't spoken since?"
"No, we have spoken, we live together," He admits.
"Excuse me? You live with her and you came on a date with me, and in front of her? And she came on a date with your best friend? What kind of screwed up situation is this? You know what? I don't want to know! Needless to say Finn, you are great, but this is too messed up for me to see you again."
"I know. I didn't expect a second date."
Just then Kurt takes the stage and picks up the microphone. "Hello everyone, thank you for sharing in this day of joy with us. We have some special performances planned for tonight. Although the band is fully ready to perform tonight, we have several guests with extraordinary talent who will also be performing. First up is Mr. Noah Puckerman here to serenade his lovely date, who is carrying my future nephew, by the way!" He then looks at Finn and with a cold stare he says, "Enjoy!"
Rachel is stunned! What has Kurt done? She goes to sit at her table...the same table that Quinn and Finn occupy, but a few seats down. Their table is in front of the dance floor and therefore the stage. Kurt has joined Rachel and she is throwing daggers with her eyes at him. He looks at her sideways and lifts his eyebrows with a grin.
Puck begins singing, and if it weren't for the inappropriate lyrics, she would appreciate his voice, but this song is making her want the ground to open up and swallow her.
Every time that you get undressed
I hear symphonies in my head
I wrote this song just looking at you oh, oh
Yet the drums they swing low
And the trumpets they go
Da da, da ra ra da, da, da
Da, ra, ra, ra, da, da
Da da, da ra ra da, da, da
Da, ra, ra, ra, da, da
They go
Is it weird that I hear
Violins whenever you're gone
Whenever you're gone
Is it weird that your ass
Remind me of a Kanye West song?
Kanye West song
Rachel clamps her hands over her mouth...he is going too far and she looks at Kurt and Kurt is shaking his head sideways in beat with the music. She fearfully moves her eyes to Finn, and he is staring straight ahead unmoving like a robot, not even blinking. This isn't happening! "You planned this Kurt, what were you thinking?" She asks. Kurt whispers in her ear, "Sometimes to win the war, you have to use the heavy artillery!"
Is it weird that I hear
Trumpets when you're turning me on?
Turning me on
Is it weird that your bra
Remind me of a Katy Perry song?
For the second time tonight, Finn leaves the reception hall to go outside to the courtyard. He knows Puck is doing it to rub in his face that he has seen Rachel naked, but it really pisses him off. He basically announced it to all the wedding guests. This is the worst wedding ever, although Kurt seems to be enjoying himself along with all the other guests. At least he knows that Rachel was surprised...it wasn't planned by her.
As he turns to go back in, he sees Puck standing by the ladies room with Quinn chatting. He goes up to him and without a word, he throws a punch at Puck which splits his lip and starts bleeding.
"Nice," Puck says sarcastically. "That's a freebie to you 'cause I'd do the same thing if I were you, but the next one won't be."
Finn squints his eyes and points to Puck, "Our friendship is over."
"Yeah, whatever you want dude. It's always whatever YOU want, isn't it?" Puck wipes the small cut on his lip with the back of his hand while Finn scoffs and walks away shaking his head, and goes back out to the courtyard.
After he calms himself down, he returns to his table to find Rachel sitting by herself. He sits down next to her and she keeps her eyes on the dance floor. She doesn't turn her head to look at him but says, "They look great together." His eyes follow Rachel and he sees Quinn and Puck dancing. Quinn is looking at him through her lashes shyly, and Puck has hearts in his eyes, and this time Rachel knows they are genuine.
"Rachel, what's going on? Why are you doing this?" Finn asks her quietly.
"I wanted a carefree night, Finn. No one is more carefree than Noah."
"Look, I really think we need to talk and set some boundaries, Rachel. Seriously, Puck?" Finn starts and she looks at him haughtily, "Not tonight Finn. I know it's Kurt's wedding, but tonight will be all about what I want. Beggars can't be choosers."
The night progresses and Finn proceeds to get seriously buzzed. He is not totally falling down drunk, but on his way. The time to catch the bouquet has come, and Rachel reluctantly gets pulled into the mix by Carole while Catch Me If You Can by Gym Class Heroes is playing. Cooper, Blaine's brother, is at the microphone and Kurt is standing next to him. Cooper more than a little tipsy, begins talking into the microphone, "All you lovely single ladies line up. Look at all these gorgeous women! I'm going to have to pick one of you tonight!" Kurt loud whispers, "Stop it!" Cooper continues while pointing to Rachel, "Not you sweetheart, looks like you got a head start. Ha! ha!" Rachel turns the brightest shade of red anyone has ever seen and keeps her eyes on the floor. Kurt takes the microphone away from Cooper then, "Ok, it seems like the best man has freshly run out of manners. So, here we go." He turns around, keeps in mind where Rachel is and throws the bouquet. Rachel has no intention to even reach for the bouquet, so keeping her hands clasped in front of her, she lifts her head to toss her hair back, when "whack!" The bouquet hits her right in the face and falls to the floor. The crowd is so quiet, you could hear a pin drop. None of the other girls dive for it. With her hand over her face clearing her eyes from stray flower debris, she bends at the waist and picks up the bouquet from the floor to hold it up in the air with a smile. The crowd starts cheering and applauding.
The announcer calls Blaine to the stage and he proceeds to call all the single men to the dance floor. Finn doesn't want to do this, but the idea of Puck catching the garter and pawing Rachel's leg to put it on is more than he wants to witness. Finn goes up there and so does Puck. Puck laces his fingers together and stretches his arms out. He looks at Finn next to him and mouths, "It's mine!" Finn just nods. When Blaine tosses the garter, Finn expertly steps in front of Puck at the last second, his height advantage blocking any chance Puck has of catching it. Finn easily catches the garter and the crowd applauds. Puck shoves Finn in the back yelling, "Cheater!" Finn stumbles a little and turns around smiling. His eye hand coordination is on target even when he is almost drunk!
Burt takes the microphone and calls for the bouquet winner to come forward while Blaine brings a chair for her to sit. Rachel shyly walks to the chair and sits down. She lifts the leg with the cast since it's the one with the slit, and he nervously bends down on one knee. The music they play is the famous "stripper" tune, and Rachel begins giggling. Finn lifts Rachel's leg among the whistles and hoots of the crowd and slowly puts the garter over her cast. He slides it about 6 inches above her knee and is momentarily lost watching his hands move over her skin. His head is facing down but he lifts his eyes to lock on Rachel's. He keeps his hands on her thigh longer, caressing it while running his hand up and down from knee to hip taking a sharp intake of breath. The crowd hushes.
"It's alright folks, he is not molesting her. He is the baby daddy!" The guests laugh and clap while Finn is brought back to reality and stands up to help her off the the chair. "Now the couple will share a dance."
The song begins:
What would I do without your smart mouth?
Drawing me in, and you kicking me out
You've got my head spinning, no kidding, I can't pin you down
What's going on in that beautiful mind
I'm on your magical mystery ride
And I'm so dizzy, don't know what hit me, but I'll be alright
My head's under water
But I'm breathing fine
You're crazy and I'm out of my mind
The lyrics have Rachel getting teary eyed, and to hide her tears she puts her head on his chest. She wishes more than anything for him to feel like the song...to love her so much that he'll take her not matter what she does or has done. Finn, oh the other hand, while listening to the lyrics is brought back to Rachel's speech when she said she would forgive him anything. His hands creep up from her waist to her bare back moving in slow circles over the impossibly smooth skin. He realizes he wants to forgive her, so why can't he just do it.
'Cause all of me
Loves all of you
Love your curves and all your edges
All your perfect imperfections
Give your all to me
I'll give my all to you
You're my end and my beginning
Even when I lose I'm winning
'Cause I give you all of me
And you give me all of you, ohoh
She bends her head back to look at him and sees his conflicting emotions displayed on this face. "I'm sorry," she whispers and wraps her arms around his back and holds him tightly. He bends his head and buries his face in her hair by her neck and with his right hand, holds her head against him. His left hand drops to the small of her back. They sway holding on to each other like it's life or death.
Give me all of you
Cards on the table, we're both showing hearts
Risking it all, though it's hard
The song ends and she looks back up at him and pulls back and walks away, Finn following behind her. Back at the table, Quinn and Puck have been talking, clearly smitten with each other. When Rachel and Finn return, Puck moves to sit next to Rachel. Finn sits as far away from Puck as possible, still pissed that he is here with Rachel and not at all upset that he gave him a split, bruised lip until Rachel reaches over and lightly touching it asking him if it hurt.
As the night draws to a close, Kurt takes the microphone and announces. "We have a very special treat for you today, and we saved the best for last. Rachel Berry, up and coming actress soon to be in her first Broadway play, will sing a song for you. Please welcome: Rachel Berry. Rachel smiles humbly and slowly walks to the stage and microphone. "Hi everyone, thank you! I chose this song specifically because of these two boys and the way they look at each other. Each time see them, there is so much love in their glances that this song plays in my head. So, Kurt and Blaine, this is for you!"
If you say my eyes are beautiful
It's because they're looking at you
And if you could only see yourself
You would feel the same way too
You could say that I am a dreamer
Who's had a dream come true
If you say my eyes are beautiful
It's because they're looking at you
Rachel holds the microphone and glances over to Finn once in a while, but focuses her eyes on Kurt and Blaine who have begun dancing. They start waving for others to join them on the dance floor.
If you wonder why I'm smiling
It's because I'm happy with you
And the warm sensations touch my heart
And fill me through and through
I could hold you close forever
And never let you go
If you say my eyes are beautiful
It's because I just love you so
Rachel is completely lost in her emotions of the song, and her eyes are pooling with tears as she sings. She is so happy for Kurt and Blaine! Its nice to see it work out for someone. When the song ends she gets a standing ovation by everyone, including Finn.
This was the first time he has heard her really sing for an audience, and he is blown away! She turns to hand over the microphone to the band, when the audience begins yelling for more. She glances over at Finn, and he has sat back in his seat. It's now or never, she thinks to herself. This is the last ditch effort she is going to make to try and get him back. Nothing is working anyway, she's got nothing to lose.
She smiles and tips her head sideways and says, "Ok, one more...how about some Beyonce'? This is for the man I had but lost." The crowd claps excitedly. Rachel turns behind her and talks to the band. They nod and she stands in front of the microphone. With her heart pounding, she focuses her gaze on Finn. The music starts.
I thought that things like this get better with time
But I still need you, why is that?
You're the only image in my mind
So I still see you... around
I miss you like everyday
Wanna be with you, but you're away
Said I miss you, missing you insane
But if I got with you, could it feel the same?
Finn looks back at her mesmerized at the emotion in her voice and her face full of regret and longing. He holds her gaze and feels every word drilling into his heart as if they were a jackhammer.
Words don't ever seem to come out right
But I still mean them, why is that?
It hurts my pride to tell you how I feel
But I still need to, why is that?
I miss you like everyday
Wanna be with you, but you're away
I said I miss you, missing you insane
But if I got with you, could it feel the same?
It don't matter who you are
It is so simple, a feeling
But it's everything
No matter who you love
It is so simple, a feeling
But it's everything
As she is finishing the last notes, her tears are rolling down her cheeks. Everyone gives her another standing ovation, and she calls out a quick thank you, drops the microphone to the floor and moves as fast as she can to the exit. She doesn't know that Finn has tears in his eyes as well. She continues running to the bathroom and once inside closes the door and leans against it. She gives in to all the pent up love, hurt, anger, fear, regret, along with a myriad of other emotions which have been under control for the past several months. Her tears and sobs are the only noise in the silent room. She slides to the floor, knowing that she will lose him tomorrow. He will be moving out, and the opportunity to get him back will shrink to nothingness. Her crying turns to gut wrenching sobs, and she's angry with herself and pounds her fists to the floor. How could she have screwed this up so badly? The minutes pass and a toilet flushes alerting her to someone being in the bathroom. Rachel quickly stands up, and pretends she is checking her face when the person in the stall exits. It's Quinn and she slowly walks to the counter.
"Are you ok? I stayed in there longer to give you a chance to vent." Quinn looks at her with kind eyes.
Rachel smiles a little, and says flippantly, "Yeah, I'm fine. I always cry when I sing emotional songs. It's my thing!"
"He doesn't really like me, you know." Quinn says. "Not the way you think. He can try to make himself like me, but it won't work."
"Well, you could of fooled me!" Rachel says dabbing a wet paper towel under her eyes.
"He is fooling you AND himself. But he is not fooling me. I saw him looking at you when you were on stage with the first song, I was in here for the second, but I heard it through the walls. When you were singing his expression was so obviously full of love, I was embarrassed to be with him cause I felt like I was intruding. That's why I came to the bathroom."
"What good is someone loving you if they don't want to? It's the same as if they didn't love you. The result is the same." Rachel finishes and stands to pat a dry paper towel to her face.
Quinn looks at her and starts walking toward the door, "Good luck...with everything. You have a phenomenal voice. Broadway is lucky to have you."
Rachel smiles at her through the mirror, "Thanks!"
F+R/F+R/
As the guests slowly clear out of the hall, Finn walks to the ladies room and leans on the wall outside. Within a minute, Puck comes and leans on the wall on the opposite side of the door.
Puck looks at the floor, his hands in his pants pocket and says, "You're an idiot!"
Sarcastically, Finn tips his head and says, "Thanks, best friend!"
"That's right, we flawed people all have something to apologize to Finn Hudson for. But Finn Hudson, he does everything completely right the first time." Puck spits this out and Finn looks at the floor.
"What are you doing here, Puck?"
"I am waiting to take my date home."
Just then, Quinn comes out of the bathroom an looks at Finn, her expression sad. "Are you waiting for me or for Rachel?" He looks at her with uncertainty and she scoffs. "Right!" She turns to Puck and says, "How about we swap dates for the rest of the night?"
Puck gets a hopeful look on his face and looks at Finn. Finn closes his eyes, and nods giving them permission. "Go ahead...I'll wait for Rachel."
"You've been drinking...I'll wait to take Rachel home." Puck knows Finn has had too much to drink.
"I'll get us a cab."
"Are you sure?" Puck questions with his hand pointing at Finn, smiling.
The smile on Puck's face makes Finn smile, "Get outta here!" he waves them to go. When they are about 20 feet away, Finn calls to them, "Hey!" They turn around with their hands clasped. "You guys look good together!" They smile and turn back to walk/run before Finn changes his mind.
F+R/F+R/
Rachel has been in the bathroom for about 30 minutes. She wants to wait until everyone has gone, hopefully Puck as well. She can always get a cab to her place. It would be so humiliating to go out there after that performance. Wearing her heart on her sleeve like that! How pathetic. Slowly, the door opens and she sees Finn come into the bathroom.
"This is the ladies room, Finn!" she says and continues wiping her under eye. "What are you doing in here."
"I wanted to let you know your date ditched you...mine ditched me too!" He says with a smile she doesn't see because she can't bring herself to look him in the eyes.
"Great! Another man leaves skid marks! No surprise there." Rachel half laughs half cries. "That's fantastic!"
"I'll get a cab to take us home." He extends his hand for her to take so they could walk out.
"I don't have a car, Finn, but I do have a driver's license. I can drive." He shrugs and extends his hand palm up the keys snuggled in his hand. She reaches and takes the keys without touching him and walks out the door leaving him behind her.
After adjusting his seat, Rachel got comfortable in the car and started the engine. She puts it in drive and slowly, really slowly, backs out of the parking spot. Finn is busy observing her profile. She has her tongue out of the corner of her lips in concentration. How cute is that?
They arrive to her apartment building, and she parks. His head is still buzzing, but just barely. He is sobering up. While Rachel is getting her clutch, he jumps out of his seat and walks around to help her out. George the doorman lets them in and Finn continues to hold her hand as they walk to the elevator. George notices this and secretly smiles.
Once inside the elevator, Rachel presses the button for her floor, and leans against the elevator wall.
"You look really, really beautiful, tonight!" he tells her and her head snaps toward him in surprise. She smiles, "You should thank Kurt, it was all his doing. I must admit, I will have him pick all my outfits for big events."
He moves closer to her and she flattens herself against the wall. He reaches over and kisses her; a kiss so slow and tentative and sweet it reminds her of the ones before the pregnancy. It's the first kiss he has given her that he has initiated since they came back from the abortion clinic many months ago. Her eyes get teary under her closed lids as she kisses him back. The elevator dings signaling they have reached their floor, but neither one of them move to leave. He deepens the kiss and slowly slides his hand down to take her hand. He lifts it and places it on his neck to show her she can touch him. She quickly links both arms around his neck and presses her body against his, their tongues busy swirling and twirling around each other. He breaks the kiss, and presses the "open door" button on the elevator and bends down to pick her up bridal style. He exits the elevator, carrying her while she looks for her keys.
Inside the apartment, he carries her straight to her bedroom and sits on the edge of the bed with her on his lap.
"Finn?" Rachel's confusion is written all of her face. "What's going on?"
"I'm gonna give you what you want." Finn whispers and begins kissing her neck.
She grabs his face with her hands and raises his head to look at him, "Are you sure you want this? I want no regrets in the morning!" He takes her hand and places it over the hardess in his crotch and says, "What do you think?"
"Why now? I've been trying for weeks without success." she looks perplexed.
"Because tonight at the reception I realized I don't want you to be with anyone else, and that's not fair to you, and it's selfish of me. If I don't want you with anyone else, I need to be the one to give you what you want."
He lifts her up and stands her in front of him. He turns her around to help her out of her dress and as he lowers the zipper, and releases the clasp at the neckline, his lips follow a little path from her middle of her back to the small of her back, his hands lowering the fabric over her hips. Her nude color thong the only thing left on her body. He turns her around and leans forward to place a kiss on her belly, while his hands cup her breasts. Rachel eyes close and she throws the head back. The urgency comes back like waves crashing on the beach, and she pushes him down on the bed and begins ripping at his tux jacket and shirt. He starts smiling and helps her along, and raises his upper body enough to take his under shirt off. He stands up and she quickly unbuckles his belt and pushes his pants and boxers down at the same time. His erection is there between them now and she falls to her knees in front on him and takes him in her mouth. His gasps and moans fill her room for a couple of minutes and he pulls her up again to kiss her. She shoves him back to the bed and he pushes himself to the top of the bed b the pillows. Quickly removing her thong panties, Rachel climbs over him to straddle him. The cast on her leg doesn't hinder her at all. Finn's hands go between her legs and she arches back when his finger enters her. "Don't worry; I'm ready." She lifts her body just enough and he places his erection at the right spot while she lowers herself onto him. She begins to move and moan whispering, "I missed this so much!" He raises her body to a sitting position, and helps her move on top of him while kissing her neck and breasts. A few moments later, he lies back on the bed and watches as Rachel rides him smoothly. She grabs his hands which are resting on her thighs and she places them on her ass urging him to help her move faster. He helps her move forward and backward faster, and when she gets tired, he lifts her slightly and pounds into her as fast as he can. He has been dreaming of doing this again for so long, he can't help but drive into her like a madman. Rachel's screams of "Yes" and "Faster" spur him on. Her left hand is kneading one of her breasts, while her right hand is between her legs, her fingers feeling him slide in and out. Her fingers are rubbing her clit and soon she climaxes calling his name, eyes scrunched together her orgasm lasting longer than before. Finn can feels the strong pulsing around his erection and can't hold it much longer. He comes with a loud groan and Rachel slowly rolls her hips while taking in the last of his thrusts. Her breathing is shallow and fast and begins getting deeper. She clamps her thighs around him and turns him sideways so they are laying side by side facing each other. "Wow! I forgot how good it was," he says breathless. She grabs his face in her hands, and kisses him hard. "Mmmm, I didn't." He returns the kiss and moves his hands down the side of her body and cups her ass again. He squeezes lightly and he jacks her thigh higher up on his side to get more comfortable. "I want to fall asleep just like this!" She buries her face in his chest, and slowly drifts asleep. Sometime during the night, Rachel awakens with Finn's hand between her legs rubbing slowly. She stretches her body, turns onto her back, and spreads her legs to give him easy access. He kisses her and moves his mouth slowly down her body and buries his head between her legs placing her thighs over his shoulders. Rachel gasps and closes her eyes. Oh yes, they are giong to make up for lost time! She doesn't know what tomorrow will bring, but tonight she is going to take everything he gives her.
A/N: Just wanted to leave you guys with that image of Finn going down on Rachel until the next chapter. LOL! I loved writing the part of Puck doing all the things to make Finn jealous! Kurt too!