I Had My Reasons Ch 10
Hello again! Sorry took so long, and I can assure you that I will finish this (only a couple more chapters left and continue with Finchel in the USA. I have returned to work full time and with kid schedules, and with hubby often gone on business trips, I am stretched a little thin right now. I also had a little mishap that resulted in a couple of broken bones in my right hand, so everything is moving slowly right now.
So here is Thanksgiving in this world. Hope you enjoy.
I don't own Glee or its characters.
F+R/F+R/
"Finn?" Rachel calls him while reclining on the couch.
"Yeah?" Finn comes from his bedroom to stand behind the couch looking down on her.
Tipping her head up, she looks at him and her breath catches. He is wearing his suit pants, zipper half open, threading his belt through the loops, and nothing else. Will there ever be a time when she will look at him and it will not sent her blood racing through her body? She raises her left leg stretches out toward the ceiling and asks, "Do you think my left calf looks smaller than my right?"
He has to keep from laughing because this is the third time she has asked him this in the last 24 hours since they'd returned from the orthopedic doctor.
Finn's eyes squint and focus on her leg then widen in surprise and he responds, "Oh my God! Yes, yes it is! It is the Quasimoto of legs...so, so deformed! Cover it up, get it away from me! It's hideous!" he leans over the couch and begins laughing.
Rachel's lips form a line and she picks up a pillow from the couch and pops him on the head.
"Hey, hey! Be careful with the hair; I just finished it...it has to look perfect. I have to be in front of a camera in less than an hour." He smiles looking at her.
"Truth is Finn, the male viewers don't care about our hair, only the sports you spew out. And the female viewers are not paying attention to your hair, but...other things." Rachel sits up on the couch and puts her feet on the floor. She proceeds to put on a long sock on her left foot, and puts on the removable plastic cast using the velcro fasteners.
"Oh, yeah? What are the female viewers paying attention to, huh?"
"Probably your eyes (she runs her finger to the corner of his left eye), the flirty way your lips move when you speak your lips (she moves her index finger to swipe it across his bottom lip), and ...you know what? On second thought maybe you do need to keep that hair perfect for the show, because I imagine the ladies are also fantasizing about tousling that perfect hair with their fingers...like this!" Rachel quickly places her hands in his hair and quickly tousles it!
He grabs her hands at the wrists, while yelling, "Stop...my Hudson's opus has been ruined! I gotta go fix it." He smiles as he points a finger at her in warning.
Laughing she says, "Look, I am a woman. If you want the viewership to increase, just get on the air with your sex hair one day! Viewership will sky rocket." She yells toward his bedroom.
"No, thank you! I look like a crazy person with my hair like that!" He comes back out a few moments later with his shirt open, tie draped around his neck loosely, "But I could go little messy, like this." He points to his hair which is just a bit off from his normal look but still has that sex look about it.
"Perfect!" Rachel laughs. "Ratings whore!" she teases.
"Gotta do everything I can to keep the job, babe! Got a baby on the way!" He puts his hand on her belly to lightly run circles over it and suddenly he feels an honest to God push against his hand. All the other times the movements were barely discernible, but now it is clearly visible.
"Wow! Did you feel that? Do it again." As he says this, he pokes at her belly a little with his index finger, and a few seconds later feels a push back. "He pushed back! We're communicating already!" Rachel looks at him and he is the happiest she has ever seen him.
"Yes, I have noticed. Actually, if I lie down and look closely I can see the movement on my belly." She said excitedly. "You want to see?"
He nods excitedly and she takes his hand to lead him back to the couch. "Watch this!" she lays down flat on the couch and he leans over the back of the couch to look. She raises her shirt and pushes her waistband down to expose her belly and begins to rub firm circles around her swollen belly. She moves her hand away and points and whispers, "Watch." A few moments later, Finn notices the belly moving from within!
"Whoa!" He looks at her. "Is that weird? Does it feel like there is an alien in there or something?" he asks.
"It feels really weird, but I've gotten used to it. I know when he is awake and when he is sleeping. And sometimes when he has been quiet for several hours, I panic thinking something happened, but eventually he starts moving again. Now that's an experience that men miss out on. Doesn't it make you wish you were a woman?"
"Umm, no! Not at all. I'd freak out! I gotta go finish getting ready." He begins to walk back to his bedroom.
"Too bad! I was enjoying the view." She half whispers to herself.
"I heard that!" He yells from the bedroom.
A few minutes later he comes out completely dressed in his suit looking devastatingly handsome. Rachel looks at him and shakes her head and licks her lips. "You look like you belong on top of a wedding cake!"
"The way you're licking your lips, you'd think I look more like the cake." he smiles and walks toward the door for his coat.
"That too! I'll have to take a bite of that cake tonight." Rachel replies with a laugh. He shakes his head back and puts his hand on the door and opens it to leave. He stops as he opens the door and turns around to look at her. "Hey, Puck and I and the boys are going out tonight. I'm letting the weekend guy, Mike, do the late night for me at the station. He will be joining us after he is done. You've been cooped up lately because of your leg, do you wanna come?"
"Are you asking me out on a date?" she asks being flirty and sidles up close to him.
"No, this is not a date. This is a bunch of friends going out. You can call Santana and Tina to join us also. You haven't seen them in a couple of weeks. The invitation is open. I know Quinn will be there with Puck. She'd probably love some female company."
"Know what? I do need a night out. I'll call Santana."
Finn smiles, "Good, I'll text you the information for your friends. I'll have to change, so I'll come here and pick you up. See you tonight!"
"Ok." She gets on her tippy toes and pulls on his neck to give him a quick kiss on the lips. It's not a quick kiss, but a lingering one full of promise.
He looks at her and after a few moments walks out and closes the door behind him. Rachel promises herself that tonight, she will be the sexiest pregnant girl the world has ever seen. She picks up her handbag and leaves the house to go in search for the perfect shirt to wear.
F+R/F+R/
As he walks out of the apartment, Finn's mind replays the past few weeks with Rachel. This whole thing of their living together but not being together is making him very confused. The glimpse he is getting into their potential lives together is everything that he hoped for himself but...there is always a but. What happened, no, what she did can't be undone. The fact that she didn't come forward voluntarily is what weighs heavily on his mind. Where would they be right now if his mother hadn't discovered her in that store? He realizes that it's not the lie or the secret, but the uncertainty of whether or not she would have come clean on her own that hurts him the most. There is a part of him that knows the truth...she would have never come to him to tell him. And that part of her, the coward, he does not want.
Inside the apartment, Rachel rushes to answer the phone.
F+R/F+R/
Rachel stands in front of her dresser mirror looking at her reflection critically. The tight fitting pale lavender shirt with cap sleeves exposes her upper shoulders and neck perfectly. She is wearing tight fitting jeans over her bulging belly, but she still looks hot, if she says so herself. Her make up, perfectly applied in pale shades of pink, complements the lavender shirt and she runs her fingers through her beach hair waves for a last time as she walks out the door. Finn texted that he'll be here in 5 minutes, so she is ready to go.
Santana, Cami and Tina will meet her there and she also will meet up with Quinn. It should be a super fun night. She walks to the kitchen and gets a bottle of water from the refrigerator and goes to the couch to wait for Finn. A few minutes later she hears his key in the lock and stands up to go greet him. He walks in, suit jacket in his hand, tie loosened and stops short when he sees her.
"Wow! You look really good."
"Thank you. I'm excited for tonight…we haven't really done anything with the whole gang in a long time." He walks toward her and puts his hand on her forearm and begins leading her to the couch. "Come here." He has her sit on the couch and sits next to her. "I need to speak to you about something."
Rachel looks at him quizzically, turns to face him and whispers, "Okay. No one is dead, right?"
Finn's face breaks into a small smile and he shakes his head from side to side, "No, no one is dead." Finn has no idea how to say this, so he is going to go ahead and just say it. His face contorts to an almost pained expression and he begins, "Look, there is a new development concerning my job. I'm really sorry about this, but it's an opportunity of a lifetime kinda thing. At least I really didn't expect this to happen so soon, but it did, and I don't even know if I should pass it up. I…I have…I'm going…" he stumbles with his words when Rachel cuts him off by putting her hand on his thigh.
"Finn, I know about Chicago." She tells him and confusion floods his face.
"You do? How?"
"They called here to confirm the appointment, and I gave them your cell number." She sees his concerned expression. "I'm sure it's a great opportunity, and even though I'm a little upset about your not living here, it will be ok. I'll have the nanny, Kurt and Santana and Tina, Puck and Quinn, and your parents to help me. It will take a village, but the peanut and I will be fine."
"You will? You don't mind if I go?" Finn looks at her calm demeanor confused. He expected yelling and crying and her calmness is freaking him out.
"I didn't say that; I said we will be fine. Look, I love you, and I won't deny that it won't hurt when you leave. But I also want for you to be happy. I don't want you here moping about "opportunities lost." If that's what makes you happy, then I have to accept it. I mean we are just "playing house" right now anyway, so it was going to come to this eventually. Your feelings have changed for me, so.." she takes a deep breath and lets it out hoping he doesn't notice the trembles in it, "…I knew it wasn't going to last. Might as well move on to the new stage now."
His heart drops to his stomach at that and he is rendered speechless.
"Really?" He looks at her suspiciously.
Rachel bites her lips in a line and nods her head, "Really." She looks at her watch and looks back at him. "It's almost time to meet them, so you need to go get ready." She leans forward and picks up a magazine and begins to open it. Finn stays frozen next to her. She glances back at him, "What are you waiting for, silly? Go get ready!"
He snaps out of his trance and stands up slowly, "Okay." Her words replay in his mind as he walks to the bedroom to change. It hasn't felt like playing house to him, but he supposes she is right.
As Finn walks toward the bedroom, Rachel's eyes play tricks on her. The magazine looks like it is waving like a flag in the wind. He is going to the interview. Maybe he won't get the job. Who is she kidding? It's with the same company he is with right now, so they already know his work. This interview is just a formality. Ok, she won't dwell on that right now. She wants to go have a good time with him tonight, so no pouting. They'll cross that bridge when they reach it.
F+R/F+R/
She hasn't felt this carefree and happy in a long time. She is at the bar occupying a large table and looks across to all the people there in attendance. All apart from Tina and Santana, are Finn's friends/family and she is amazed at how much she cares for them and how much they have become a large part of her life. She has been nursing a glass of red wine for the better part of an hour now. She really feels like chugging it now, but she knows it would upset Finn, so she doesn't do it. It will all change when he is gone. Gone. He is leaving. But no…she is not going to have tonight ruined by this! She will enjoy it. She watches as Finn and Puck are having a battle with the dart board and watches Quinn give Puck and kiss and begin walking toward their table.
"I'm not sure if they're 25 or 15 years old right now," she says looking back at them. "How have they not killed each other by now?"
"Don't let their antics fool you, they love each other like brothers." Rachel smiles.
"So how is everything going with the pregnancy? All ok?" Quinn asks.
Rachel nods while sipping the never ending glass of red wine. "All is good with the baby. Growing like a weed. It is definitely Finn's giant genes at work," she teases laughing. She turns serious and looks at her.
"Quinn, since you work at the station, what is the rumor mill saying about Finn and this Chicago job? Is he a shoo-in for it or are they looking at another candidate seriously?"
Quinn's eyebrows raise in surprise, "I didn't know that it was a serious rumor. I just assumed that Finn would turn it down. Is he seriously considering it?"
"Yes. His interview is Friday. I mean, who does interviews the day after Thanksgiving?" Rachel scoffs.
"The boss who wants to discern who is willing to go the extra mile." Quinn takes a sip and continues. "If he is interviewing, the rumor is that he is the only candidate. Oh, and the guy that has the same job here in NY is interviewing too. It will be a lateral move for him if he gets it."
Rachel's face perks up, "Oh, so the other guy probably has a better chance at getting the job, then."
"Not necessarily! The network is famous for their if-it-ain't-broke-don't-fix-it attitude. The guy here has been very successful, so I doubt he would get it. But you don't think that Finn is considering it seriously, do you?" Quinn looks curious.
"Oh, yeah. The salary increase is really tempting." Rachel takes her last sip.
"Wow!" Quinn mulls over how Finn, as excited as he has been over the impending birth of his child, would entertain the idea of leaving him and moving 1,000 miles away.
Rachel changes the subject. "So, Quinn, tell me about you and Puck. How is that going?"
"Good, I think." Quinn looks over at Puck who blows a kiss to her an she smiles.
"He looks really happy." Rachel observes. "But I have to ask, does it concern you that he is such a ladies' man?"
"Well, I believe that a man either loves you or he doesn't. If he does, you feel it. If you feel an uncertainty, no matter how slight, then you worry. I won't worry, until I have a reason to worry, you know? Do I even make any sense?" Quinn laughs through her confusing explanation.
"Perfectly!" Rachel beams. At that time everyone who was either at the dart board, or the dance floor returns.
The band has been playing a lot of current hits, and she sees Kurt over there talking to one of the band members. Kurt is clapping and walks quickly toward Rachel.
"Rachel, they want you to go up there and sing with them. Go." Kurt begins pulling her arm.
"What? No! Kurt I can't do that with no rehearsal or anything. Are you crazy?" she tries to sit but Kurt is pulling her hand and everyone is clapping encouragement, so she gives in. She slowly walks to the band stand and walks up to the stage. She whispers to one of the band members and they nod. She turns to the audience.
"This is dedicated to the man in the audience who has been and always will be my greatest adventure."
I found myself dreaming
In silver and gold
Like a scene from a movie
That every broken heart knows
We were walking on moonlight
And you pulled me close
Split second and you disappeared
And then I was all alone
Woke up in tears
With you by my side
A breath of relief
And I realized
No, we're not promised tomorrow
So I'm gonna love you like I'm gonna lose you
I'm gonna hold you like I'm saying goodbye
Wherever we're standing I won't take you for granted
Cause we'll never know when we'll run of time
So I'm gonna love you like I'm gonna lose you
I'm gonna love you, like I'm gonna lose you…
The guy in the band begins the male part of the song and for the first time since she started singing she takes her eyes off Finn and looks at her singing partner.
When she looks away, Finn finally feels like he can breathe again. Why is she able to still invoke such strong emotions in him? When is he going to finally get over her? Maybe the move to Chicago will be good for him to finally get over her.
The song ends, and Rachel makes her way back to the table. She goes to a seated Finn and pulls his arm off his lap and sits on his legs. She leans close to whisper in his ear. "I meant every word. Let's just be together until we can't be together anymore. No regrets, ok?" She pulls back to look at him, and he looks like he is almost on the verge of tears. His nod is barely noticeable and she moves forward and kisses him softly on his lips holding the kiss for a few seconds. She moves back and stands up she sees Mike, the weekend news guy who filled in of Finn tonight.
"Hey, Finn!" he calls out.
"Mike! I'm glad you could make it. Here let's make room and you go get a chair." As Mike goes to get a chair, Rachel pulls her chair closer to Finn and away from Tina, the only person in the group not paired up with anyone. As Mike returns and sees they have made room for him, he places his chair next to Tina and for the first time notices her. He extends his hand, "Hi, I'm Mike." Tina looking a little starstruck, says, "I've seen you tv. Hi, I'm Tina." He sits and Rachel gives Finn a look and mouths to him, "Did you set them up?" Finn shakes his head no and shrugs. Soon Sam and Artie show up with their dates, so the table becomes very crowded. There is a lot of laughing and teasing and it's nice to see Finn so carefree and so boyish again. When the band announces that this would be their last number and it was a slow one, Rachel turns to Finn, "Last song, you want to dance?" Finn nods, stands up, and puts his hand out for her to take with a smile. She reaches up and takes his hand and they walk together to the dance floor while they band plays Wonderful Tonight by Eric Clapton.
Rachel is almost shy when she puts her arms around the back of his waist as he looks down at her. "You look really beautiful tonight, Rachel."
She looks deeply into his eyes and says, "Thank you. And thank you for putting up with all my crazy since you moved in. You have been incredible." She rests her head on his chests and he rests his cheek on top of her head smelling her shampoo the scent driving him crazy cause now he associates the smell of her shampoo as the smell of home. That song and now this little speech of hers…it's almost like she is starting to let go. So why is that bothering him so much? He moves his hands down to the top of her butt and moulds her against him, baby bump and all. He can feel her increasing heartbeat and that makes him want her right here and now. When the song is over, they quickly say goodnight to the gang and rush home with anticipation for the rest of the night.
F+R/F+R/
It's Thanksgiving dinner. Everyone is seated at Carole's beautifully set table, a picturesque turkey placed as the centerpiece. But everyone is deathly quiet. Rachel looks up from the turkey, at which she has been staring since they sat at the table avoiding the horrified look on Carole's and everyone else's face, to look at Finn who is the only person seemingly unaware of everyone's reaction around him. Or maybe he is just good at pretending. There is Finn, sporting the biggest, black/purple eye she has ever seen. Her dads are just as horrified as everyone else. Since they arrived, every time someone began to question Finn, he just pursed his lips and shook his head from side to side as if to say "don't ask."
Kurt finally throws his napkin onto the table and bursts out, "Ok, I'm sorry. I just can't stand this anymore. Finn, what happened to your face?" Finn just pursues his lips and shakes his head "no."
Hiram, one of Rachel's dads, pipes in, "Kurt's right…we can't enjoy this wonderful meal with this mystery sucking the energy out of the room. So Rachel, darling, why don't you do the honors of explaining what happened to the family of your unborn child?"
Finn jumps in, "It's actually kinda funny…"
Hiram cuts him off, "I'm sorry Finn, but be quiet…it's Rachel's story to tell."
Kurt and Blaine sit up a little straighter in their chairs focused on Rachel with keen interest.
Rachel clears her throat and begins, "Well, in order to understand how things unfolded, I have to go back to when all the stuff happened with Finn and me before I went home. As you guys (pointing to Finn's family) know, I had decided, because of the timing and career and the fact that Finn and I had only been dating for a couple of months, that I would have an abortion." At this claim Hiram and LeRoy look at Rachel and shake their heads. Rachel continues, "At the clinic I chickened out, and didn't go through with it. When I came out, Finn had assumed that I had it done," and looking at Finn, "you looked so relieved, that I couldn't tell you I hadn't done it. I planned on going back with Santana to get it done a few days later, and I did return there. Only I didn't do it again. So I was so terrified by that point of telling you, Finn, I couldn't deal with the reality of everything, that I went home to Ohio. When I got there, my dads were so angry about my career and what this would mean, so I kind of lead them to believe that Finn didn't want to have anything to do with the baby and me." At everyone's gasp at the table, she pleaded, "I didn't want them to try to find Finn until I was able to get up the nerve to tell him myself. Anyway, after Finn found out and moved in with me, I couldn't tell my parents over the phone that their daughter, whom they raised to be a kind, thoughtful person, would do something like this. I wanted to explain in person. Which brings us to yesterday's events:
It's Wednesday morning and Rachel is dreading the conversation with her dads this afternoon. She still hasn't told them the truth about Finn and their disappointment in her is just another thing she has to feel guilty about. It's the kind of thing she has to tell them in person. She has a doctor's appointment this morning, and Finn's mom is coming, so she talked Finn into their picking up his mom. This way he can drop off Rachel first, and then take his mom back, so when her dads arrive she can have that talk with them before Finn comes home. Everything at the appointment is wonderful and the baby is healthy and growing stronger everyday. Once back in the car with Finn and Carole, Rachel asks, "Finn why don't you drop me off at the market in the corner, and take your mom home? You can come home later and meet my dads, ok? This way I can get a snack ready for when their limo brings them from the airport at 5:00 p.m." Finn agrees and drops off Rachel at the market. However, on his way to taking his mom home, Carole changes her mind and wants to go to their hotel corporate offices to visit Burt and ride home with him. So dropping his mom off at his dad's office, Finn decides to go to the apartment and clean up a little more to help Rachel out. As he parks the car and walks in, he notices two men on the steps in front of him. He thinks nothing of it since Rachel's parents are not supposed to be here for a few hours still. As he walks toward their apartment door, he sees the men knocking on it yelling, "Surprise, baby bug! We're early!"
Finn steps forward and says, "Mr. Berrys, hello!" He puts his hand out and Hiram shakes it. "I'm Finn Hudson. You're early! What a surprise!"
LeRoy gets a strange look on his face. "You're Finn Hudson? The guy who knocked up my daughter?" Finn's smile slowly fades as he nods. Before he notices anything, Finn sees a fist coming his way and the only thing he can say before the fist lands is, "No, not the face!"
Rachel looks apologetically at Finn's family. "Well, a few minutes later I came home and explained everything to my dads, and they were very sorry for punching Finn. I'm really, really sorry too!" She looks around at the table to gauge everyone's reaction and everyone is still quiet.
Finn blurts out then, "See, I told you it's kinda funny!"
"Well, I guess what's done is done." Carole says looking at Rachel's parents. "I hope you understand now that my son would have never knowingly walked away from his responsibilities…ever." She clears her throat, and continues, "Let's just put it behind us and have this meal to celebrate all the great things to be thankful for this year. Namely my impending grandmotherdom...is that even a word?"
Everyone relaxes and begins passing the bowls of food around while Burt carves the turkey.
Blaine and Kurt look at Finn and say, "It is kind of funny, though, huh?"
As the meal was winding down, Finn takes his phone and sends a text to Rachel:
I'm sorry I never gave you the chance to explain how everything happened before. It wan't fair of me to refuse to listen. It still wrong, but I can understand how things got out of hand.
Rachel takes her phone and replies.
Thank you for not being mad…I'm going to make it up to you. I promise.
Finn looks at this phone and quickly responds.
UR welcome. And I'm making up a list of the things you could do to make it up to me, as we speak ;)
Rachel types back:
Oh really? Send me the list…I'll start on it tonight.
With a smile on his face Finn types and sends each item individually:
Back rub…
foot rub…
you-know-what rub…
BJ…
Rachel is smiling as each items starts coming through the phone and when the last item comes in she looks at him and blushes and licks her lips while typing back.
You want the last one first? Meet me in your bedroom after dessert!
Finn's eyes get dark with desire and he looks at her before he types:
Ok.
While they're typing, they don't notice that Carole, although carrying a lighthearted conversation at the dinner table, notices their little text exchange and has a small smile for their little antics.
F+R/F+R/
It's Friday morning and Finn is up early to get ready for his flight to Chicago. His flight leaves at 7:08 a.m. and he wants to make sure he gets through security with time to spare. Rachel is on her side curled into a ball on the bed watching him as he gets ready. She loves watching his fingers move across the fabric buttoning, pulling up his zipper, tying his tie. It's almost sexual when she focuses on his hand movements.
"So, do you want to pack a small carry on bag?" Rachel asks him curiously.
"No, I don't need it." Finn replies.
"Aren't you staying for a couple of days to get to know the city?"
"By myself? Nope. I'm coming back this afternoon."
"Oh. You don't have to rush back on my account. My parents will be in town until Sunday. Stay. If you are going to move there, explore and see if you'll like it."
"I'm not going there for a good time, Rachel. I'm going there so I can have the money to support our kid and his future. New York is the city I love…it's home."
When he has finished dressing, he looks as her. "What do you think?"
"You're dashing and handsome!" She gets up from bed and goes to the bathroom to comb her hair and brush her teeth. She comes out and goes to the kitchen as he is pouring himself some coffee.
"Want some? Just a tinsy little bit?" he asks cause she knows she tries to avoid caffeine.
"Sure," she quietly walks up behind him and when he turns around he is startled to see her there.
"Oh, you moved. Here." He hands her the cup and she puts it on the table.
"Look, I'm not exactly sure I want to wish you luck, so I'll just say I hope you find what you're looking for." She toys with his tie a bit.
"Why are you being so 'doom and gloom' about this? Chicago is a two and a half hour plane ride." His eyebrows scrunch together.
"Cause, I'm a little bit psychic. I know what's coming." Rachel shrugs. He hates seeing her so down. It's so...unlike Rachel.
"Oh, yeah?" He begins tickling her. She squeals and moves back while he follows her still tickling her. "You didn't see that one coming, did ja? Your psychic abilities suck!"
"Stop! I'm gonna pee my pants!" Rachel yells in between giggles.
After a moment he stops and takes in a deep breath and lets it out. "Ok, " he says.
"Go!" she laughingly urges, "You'll miss your flight." She reaches up and places a soft kiss on his lips. "Be safe!"
"Tell that to the pilot!" he teases. "See you later on this evening."
F+R/F+R/
Finn is sitting across the older woman who would be his new boss if he was offered the job. She is a no nonsense type of person in her early forties. The interview has gone well and she looks at him critically from across the desk.
"Finn, I think you will be a great asset for us here. What do you think, would you like to work in Chicago?" Amelia asks.
"It is an awesome opportunity. Anyone would be crazy to turn it down." His eyes look dow at his hands.
"I sense a hesitation in you, Finn. What's holding you back? I want someone here who's committed…100%."
"Well, I would really love to take this job, but my…my…" he stammers and that's when it hit him like bitch slap. It's one of those moments which defines your life. What is Rachel to him? He doesn't even have to struggle with finding a place for her in his life, and to be honest, he has known all along who Rachel is to him. And as shocking as it seems for him, he imagines how humiliating it must be for her to feel undefined, feeling unwanted in the most basic way a being should be wanted. She is his. She is his future. Why has he been like this to her? Was it to punish her? Why has he been such an asshole to her? Or was it because he is so sure of her that he knows she would never walk away from him again. If she hasn't done it under the circumstances of the last few months, she never will. He does finally trust her. Maybe subconsciously he was testing her to see what it would take of her to walk away. And yet, she is still here, at home waiting for him to make all the decisions.
He goes silent and Amelia looks at him and after a moment says, "Finn?"
Her voice snaps him out of his deep thoughts and he continues to explain his situation. "I'm having a baby, and my significant other will remain in New York. I need to think hard about whether the money involved in this position is worth missing my kid everyday."
"I see." she simply responds. "Well, Finn you have a lot to think about. Unfortunately, we don't have that much time to wait on this so I'll need your decision by Monday."
"I don't need until Monday. I can give you my answer right now." Finn's determination is written on his face.
"Ok, what's your decision?" Amelia looks at Finn expectantly.
A/N Well, there are enough clues in the last section to know Finn's decision.
Songs used in this is Meghan Trainor/John Legend "Like I'm Going To Lose You"