The Man in Burgundy
Chapter Four: The List and The Challenge
Well, here I am again, with more The Man in Burgundy! (Now with forty-percent less calories!) I just wanted to thank WargishBoromirFan for his frequent reviews, and all the people who have favourited/followed this thing.
Let's go!
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"Don't." I warned, looking Rhode in the eye.
"But it'll be fun!" The oblivious Freelancer said, grinning.
"Rhode, you will regret this almost immediately, and I can't be held responsible for what will happen to you." I replied, shaking my head.
"But it's just a rubber ducky!" He protested, showing me the yellow toy.
"Your master plan is to throw a rubber ducky into South's shower." I said, sighing.
"It'll be funny!" He said.
"It will result in your demise." I said, shaking my head again.
"Oh, stop being such a worry-wart. You ready, Wash?" He asked, looking at my roommate.
"Let's get this over with." The grey and yellow armoured man sighed, shaking his head.
"That's the spirit!" Rhode said, oblivious to Wash's annoyance.
i listened to the pair of morons footsteps gradually getting quieter as they walked to their deaths, before seeing my favourite green-armoured Freelancer.
"Hey Colorado." I said, waving.
"Hey Utah. Where are Wash and Rhode headed in such a hurry?" She asked, watching the two jog down the hall.
"They're going to throw a rubber ducky into South's shower." I answered.
"Huh. Well, see you at the funeral!" She said, cheerfully waving.
"That's what I said!" York called from across the hall.
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"Umm… what's this?" I asked, holding up the lump of what may have, at one point, been some sort of vegetable.
"Oh, I think that was a…" Grif trailed off, looking at me.
"You don't know, do you." I stated, sighing.
"Yeah… no." Grif replied. "You probably don't want to eat it."
"Thanks for the tip." I muttered, throwing the abomination against biology into the garbage can. I turned around. "I'm gonna go outside, see if I can't find that damn… actually, have you seen Sarge?"
"Nope." Grif answered, popping the p. "Don't know why I'd want to. He'd probably just threaten to kill me."
"Good point." I admitted, before stepping out the front door.
I looked around, smiling. No matter how much I saw of the place, the sheer beauty of the canyon never ceased to amaze. Maybe other people saw differently, but there was something about the light brown rock and green foliage, combined with the grey metal of the starship, that just looked good.
My gaze was slowly drawn upwards, to the cliffs, where I knew someone was watching. The thought made me nervous, to be honest. I already knew Felix would turn out to be an enemy, and that the war was pointless, but now I had all this Freelancer bullshit to deal with on top of that. Wash kept looking at me with barely disguised suspicion, and who knew how Carolina would react!
Of course, memories were slowly returning. Mostly of a woman named Colorado, a man named Rhode, and Wash, as well as other Freelancers sprinkled in. I also had some sort of memory involving an AI, but I had no clue where that could be. I had checked my helmet for ages, looking everywhere, but I couldn't find any sort of storage unit, or even a slot for a data chip. I stopped and wondered if it hadn't maybe gone missing, but that seemed like a pretty big assumption.
What worried me most, however, was the fact that my memories involving Rhode and Colorado seemed to be semi-romantic, for both of them. I had briefly questioned if I was gay, but then memories featuring Colorado and I acting all romantic had filtered through as well, and those thoughts were shot down. Maybe Rhode and I just had some sort of hardcore bromance going on? That seemed like the most likely option.
I looked to my left at the sound of footsteps, and saw Caboose running past me, muttering something about repairs.
"Hello Mr. Talky Gun Person." He said, briefly addressing me. "I am going to go fix something now."
"Umm… alright." I replied, watching him go.
Sometimes Caboose addressed me in as 'Mr. Talky Gun Person' for seemingly no reason. Well, there was a reason, but it was kind of… odd. I had taken up speaking to Super Good Advice, out of some sort of habit. I had to admit, it made me feel better, and sometimes I could swear the ammunition light on the gun blinked in response to me. I had no idea why, maybe it was a glitch or something.
I decided to stop reminiscing on nicknames and the reasoning behind them, and started focusing on figuring out what the hell I was going to do about Wash's suspicion of me, as well as all the other problems that were coming my way. I ran a quick list through my head.
-Freckles. Very dangerous, but easy to survive so long as I'm polite to Caboose. Not a problem, since I was already nice to Caboose. It's hard to hate someone whose closest resemblance is a confused puppy.
-Locus and Felix. Dangerous, but so long as I didn't stray too far from the script of the show, I should be alright. I had confidence in my combat abilities, as well as prerequisite knowledge of the situation at hand.
-The Federal Army. This would be a pain, since I knew they would be fighting me under orders from a villain, but I also knew I would have to fight. There was no room for mercy on the battlefield, but if I could talk them down, I would. Of course, if I ended up alongside Wash and Donut, and got captured by them, I'd just have to wait it out.
-The New Republic. This would be a bit of an issue, but if I ended up on the side of the New Republic, I was going to avoid the Reds and Blues rescue mission. I would prefer to be there to prevent as many casualties in the city as possible.
-The Charon Corporation. This would be a bitch, since I had no idea what to expect beyond 'there's gonna be a guy with them who I now know will have inside knowledge into my psyche that even I don't have, on account of amnesia.'
Not to mention the fact that, since I had no idea what to expect from Season Thirteen, outside of the aforementioned 'dude who knows me better than I know myself' thing. Great. This would be fun.
Not.
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"Umm… what?" I asked, looking at the leaderboard again.
Yep, there I was. Number four, now above both North and South Dakota. How the hell I managed to get there from my former place at number seven, I had no idea.
"Agent Utah, thanks to your quick thinking and remarkable tactical ability, you have been moved up the leaderboard, past your two compatriots on your previous mission." The Director said, snapping me out of my musings.
My eyes were drawn to where the twins who had raided the arctic research platform with me were standing, quickly judging their reactions. North was nodding politely, obviously displeased, but not looking like he begrudged me either. His sister was a different story, evidently being on the verge of entering a fit of rage, judging by her heavy breathing and immense scowl. I noted Colorado was standing behind her, smiling at me.
"Thank you, sir." I replied politely, my eyes not leaving the infuriated blonde.
"You said the mission was a success, sir." South growled, filling the word sir with as much venom as she could muster.
"The primary requirement of the operation was stealth, Agent South Dakota. Were it not for Agent Utah's quick thinking, you would likely be dead at the bottom of the ocean as of right now." The Director countered. "Your failure to follow your brother's directives has led to the enemy knowing we are coming for them now."
South only scowled in response, looking away from the Director. Her brother put a reassuring hand on her shoulder, but she shrugged it off, directing her scowl at him instead. North only stepped back, hands up in a placating gesture.
"If there aren't any more questions, that will be all for this debriefing." The Director said.
The assembled Freelancers began to split off, eventually leaving Colorado, North, South and I alone in the room.
"We both know it was blind luck that got you through that last op," South began. "So I'm gonna prove I'm better than you."
"That a challenge, South?" I asked, raising one eyebrow coolly. Inside my heart rate was increasing, however. It was unlikely I could take on South Dakota in a one-on-one fight.
"Yeah it is, dickhead." South replied, stepping forwards so her face was right in mine. "In the training arena, in ten minutes."
"Very well then." I said, nodding. "What weapons, and what gear?"
"Full armour, any gun you want." South said. "Even that fucking overcompensation cannon of yours."
I slapped her in the face at that. A clean backhand, directly in the right cheek, administered with my left hand.
"You will refrain from insulting Super Good Advice." I said, my voice dropping to a lower, more threatening pitch.
North stepped forwards, frowning, but South shoved him back with both hands, before turning to slap me right back. I took the blow without so much as wincing, but internally flinched. Damn this woman had a good arm!
"Then it's official." I said, before turning to leave. "Ten minutes."
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To anyone who is confused, David took the place of Carolina in the episode 'The Twins' in this universe. More explanation will come in following chapters.
Have a lovely day!